When the Bizarre Road Sightings began, I felt a little left out. In a city filled with morons, douche bags, crazies, pill-addicted housewives and more “artists” than Xanax prescriptions I had missed out. Matt saw Santa Claus being pulled by a plastic horse with a smoke-stack spine for god’s sake. W.T.F mate?
But out of 143 items there were a few pictures that I had saved for a reason. You don’t take a picture of a Mitsubishi Galant that has had it’s letter re-arranged for nothing.
Yesterday I was trying to find a picture on my phone, and realized it had 143 items in it. “143? What the hell is on here? I have to delete this crap.” I assumed it was the usual array of poorly photographed cars, family, friends and 98 other images of BS that may have been funny or cool at one time, but now were useless. I realized I am basically a dog when it comes to cell phone pictures; “Wow that’s cool! I have to cherish it forever! Hey, look over there there’s a shiny thing! What we’re going where? Ok I wasn’t busy anyway…whoa what’s that!?”
Scroll down to see what the brilliant people of L.A. think is so clever, funny or important that they make it a permanent part of their automobile for all the world to see. It’s a wonder anyone gets laid in this townl…
Yes, you’re reading that right. This brilliant sedan known to the commoner as a Galant, has been pimped a bit. With clever use of thumbnail or perhaps a razor, this driver has transformed his car into a both a female repellent and magnet. While 90% of women will be offended, burn the image of the driver in their memory and cross the 405 on foot to avoid him/her, 10% of those that see this will be so enraged they’ll probably get out of their car and attempt to kill him/her. So either the driver of this car just plain hates women, or they’ve gotten tired of searching the world for the perfect, enraged, confrontational, physically and verbally abusive woman to settle down and build a bitter and misogynistic family with.
Whenever I’ve owned a crappy or boring car, I admit it. In my entire time owning my Jetta, I never saw another guy driving the same model. My last car was a 1997 Honda Civic, and Jamie Lee Curtis’s bonus Y chromosome has more balls. But I admitted to both offenses. This guy bought a Chevy HHR, a horrible attempt at replicating 50′s hot rods, and then decided to not only remind us all what he’s driving (in case the badge falls off?) but that he is in a loving, committed relationship with it. This guy could probably catch his wife cheating on him, and then tattoo her name on forehead and re-new his vows.
You know when you’re a kid and you ask your dad, “Dad, can we get a go kart?” and he replies, “I’ve got a better idea, son, why don’t we build our own go kart! Won’t that be fun?” It’s fun if your dad is a chassis engineer, but if he is you probably had a go kart when you exited the womb. Owning a plane is fun, but building one out of paper seems a little risky, just look at that Wright Brother.
Am I too close to those cans? I think I'm too close.
When the SMART Car showed up, one of the only cool things I saw was 2 of them parked in 1 parking spot. Sweet, a space saver. Whoever owns this car just plain sucks. People in LA eat up up valuable parking space everyday with moves like this, but it’s usually a new BMW 7 series they’re protective of, or at the very least a full-sized car. There is no excuse for this. Kill your sperm, donate all your ovaries, we do not need you.
There’s not many ways to make a post-69 Impala cool, so clever is the next best thing. Extra points if this guy is a porn-star.
Softball is fun. It’s baseball without the pressure, the strike outs, or the sobriety. But that does not mean you advertise that you play it the same way Hugh Hefner would put, “BNYFCKR” on his limo. Can you imagine anyone pulling up next to this guy and saying, “Oh man! You get to play softball?! With the bases and the big ball and the underhand? For reals? Holy shit that’s so cool, I wish I could do that.” Well if you have a phone and the ability to read the words “Public Softball League”, you can. What’s next, a plate that says, “FOODETR”? Because that’s how exclusive soft-ball is.
You stay classy Los Angeles.
You may have misinterpreted Mitsu driver's intentions: seems to me he/she may simply have a weight problem.
Just GIS "gunt" one of these days, see what you find.
I looked it up, sounds like a new name for a FUPA. If I see the car, I'll be sure to ask. That should be a fun afternoon…
You sure about that SB PLYR being soft ball?
I actually knew some one on Xbox Live that went by the gamer tag SB PLYR.. in fact there's a pretty big "SB" clan on xbox live and they all have SB as a prefix in their gamer tags like SB Roboto. I met them on Ghost Recon Advanced Warfighter 2.
Well I guess I'm not 100% sure. But I don't know what would be worse, advertising you love softball, or having your gamer tag on your Prius.
Perhaps, but it's not so much a gamertag as it is an alias.. most people tend to interact on the internet through an alias, some more clever than others and sometimes that alias because a nick name for them in their every day lives.
I'll give you an example. A friend of mine is a Mercedes Benz fanatic and usually went by the name AMG-Master (he was young then Lol) on car forums/websites whatever.. when we played Forza or Need for Speed he always created a "clan" called Club Benz.. when he finally bought a ML55 AMG guess what his tag read? AMG-CBZ. It went to the point that his nickname became AMG and we started referring to him as such but it was eventually shortened to just G. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I referred to him or called him by his actual name.. Lol.
I actually like "Vlad the Impala." That's witty.
I once saw a Fiat Punto, here in Ireland, where the owner had removed a few letters, cut the stem of the ‘P’ & flipped it around to spell ‘Fat Cunt’. I wish I’d taken a picture of it.