Koenigsegg Agera R: 0-186-0. 21 Seconds. Crazy (video)

The Koenigsegg Agera R is very very very fast. No, you don’t understand. It’s really fast. In the video it goes from 0, to 300KMH (186MPH), and back to 0 in… 21.9 seconds. Now, being the internet readers you are, like me you probably have no frame of reference of how fast that really is. For comparison, we have the times of some cars  going from 0 to 300KMH. Make the jump to read and watch this ridiculous thing that I love so much.  

Koenigsegg CCX: 21.9
SLR 722: 29.6
Murci LP 640: 31.5
911 GT2: 36.2
Alpina B6 S: 41.5
Z06: 44.6

No back to 0, no slowing down, nothing. Just from a stop to 300km/h. As you can see, the old Koenigsegg- you know the one, with the twin-supercharged V-8 making 806HP?- That car went to 300kmh in 21.9 seconds, well ahead of the also incredible GT2, Murci and SLR. A Bugatti Veyron, the benchmark of high-priced space ships, takes 19.8 seconds to hit 300kmH, and 23.8s to reach 320km/H. In the real world, all of those cars are crazy crazy fast. All they are doing is accelerating to 186MPH.

THAT is how  incredible this car is. Somehow, in defiance of physics and the Easter bunny, the new Agera R was able to reach 186MPH, and go back to a complete stop, in the same amount of time it takes it’s sibling to reach 186. Want to know how long it takes the R to go from 0-300 KMH? 14.5 seconds. That’s how long it takes a new Honda Accord V6 to reach 98MPH. A car that boring normal people call “quick.”  A Corvette ZR1, which is the fastest car I’ve ever driven, takes 15.9 seconds to reach 150MPH, and around 33 seconds to reach 186 (300kmH). I thought that car was insane but I have had to edit the definition of insanity in my brain. Compared to the Agera, the ZR1 is Catholic nun on Valium. Wait,what?! What the hell is going on?!

I cannot wrap my head around the abilities of the Agera R. This is like saying to Hussein Bolt,

“Ok Mr. Bolt, you are going to run this 100 yard dash, k? Start here, cross that line, that’s it. What am I going to do? Oh, well in the same amount of time it takes your corpulent snail ass to run that little 100 yards, I’m going to run to that line, stop on it, have a sandwich, maybe hit up YouPorn, and then run back to this starting line. Ready?”

That is insanely fast. How? Why? WTF is in that car? Oh, that’s right, it’s has a 5.0 Liter V-8 with two turbos, so it makes 940HP. Oh wait, I forgot, you can put E-85 bio ethanol in it, and it makes 1,115HP. And yet it’s still RWD! What the **** gets the power to the ground? Are the tires made of the toes of millions of geckos? Because I’m ok with that.  If Sarah McLaughlin complains direct her calls to me. I have an excellent collection of Panda bear erotica I’d like to discuss with her. Oh, and if you watch the video, you can see two other things: 1. If you watch the driver turn around, it’s clear the steering radius of this car is very tight. So drive-ability won’t be an issue. 2. The test driver isn’t wearing a helmet, fire suit and 2 HANS devices while doing multiple 200MPH runs. Dear police stations, high speed travel is safe. See video below.

I just can’t get over the physical abilities of cars right now. People referred to the muscle car era as the golden age of cars, never to be seen again. Wrong. This is the golden age. Companies realize people want a cars that can go, stop and turn with the quickness and they are in an arms race the US Army should be jealous of. This is the best cars have ever been, and I shake my head and stare in awe when I think of where they will go from here. Now, whose grandma can I give oral treats to for $2 Million?