Kids, Fire is Awesome
by Zack K
Despite what your parents and some 60 year-old shirtless bear (do not Google) have told you, fire is awesome. In Top Gear’s latest episode we learned the Aventador shoots blue fire under WOT. Constantly. Not on the over-run or during a downshift or just for a split second; it shoots fire like Batman’s car. Like an F-16 hitting the afterburner. Just fire, fire, fire, fire! It was a fantastic display of cool (If you haven’t seen it, do.). The ultimate signal lamp that you’re driving a bad-ass car. Truly fitting for a Lamborghini. How else do you make that car more striking?
It’s the same reason I’m in love with Roberta Mancini. She’s drop dead, hit-myself-in-the-face-with-a-hammer beautiful but what puts her on my pedestal is that she’s a champion skydiver. Hot Italian woman with an adrenaline addiction? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Fire from a car elevates the extraordinary by way of something silly, dangerous, rare, and exciting. I mean, it’s fucking fire. If anyone says you’re being stupid, remind them of our deep connection to fire that goes back millions of years. Cavemen would love the Aventador.
Our ERA kit cobra shoots fire when you down-shift or let off over 4,000 RPM. It’s because it’s running too rich. Don’t care. Driving at night near the concrete freeway divider I let off, and wait for that blue burst of light to splash from the side pipes to the barrier. It causes me to cackle like the Wicked Witch, every single time. It’s how “adults” like me get the giggles. Cars aren’t supposed to do that, and that makes it special. Some may think it’s childish or silly. They’re right. But who is happier than children? Adults usually aren’t (Paxil, Zoloft, Lexepro, Prozac, Abilify, Bolvidon, Norval, Tolvon, Lustral, etc, etc etc). Maybe we should prescribe a day with cars that shoot fire-like the BMW M1 above- instead of chemicals that cause us to eat while we’re asleep, or die.
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