by Zack K

There’s nothing an F1 driver needs more than a free car. These guys make a peasant’s wage*, and finding reliable transportation has been an ailment of Formula 1 drivers since the 1960s. While some of us are lucky enough to get our first car from our parents, the rest we have to pay for. Of course, asking an F1 driver to buy a car would be ludicrous; they’re broke! They’re still wearing one-piece ski suits from the 1980s for god’s sake! Luckily, some kind souls have stepped up to the plate. In fact, they’ve really gone above and beyond. A few companies went to the Italian Goodwill and dropped off some cars (a  Ferrari 458 Italia, Fiat 695 Tributo (super speedy 500) and a Maserati Gran Carbio) , instructing the dull-eyed clerk they are for one Felipe Massa and one Fernando Alonso. Over the years these cars have been delivered to their sad excuses for domiciles. They may share a studio apartment, but at least they have reliable transportation, a requirement for any profession.

BUT, these cars are straight up dangerous in bad weather. Asking them to drive these cars on a snowy day? Why don’t you just give an Alaskan orphan a new pair of crocs in December and tell him to play outside. As usual, it’s the Team America, World Police to the rescue. Jeep rode in like a white knight, and delivered a pair of Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8s to the Fiorano test track. I can imagine that brought some joy to their coal-miner-like jobs. Judging by the picture above it just in the nick of time. Without even a proper winter hat, these poor souls were sure to freeze to death. No more. With the gift of AWD and 6.4-Liter Hemis, we can sleep easy knowing these two borderline-homeless foreigners will navigate the winter months safely.

Or it’s good for business to have a race driver in your car. Potato, potahto.

*This term has been updated in the 21st century to mean “shit-load of money.”

** If you wrote an angry comment below, or posted their salary, click here.

Rarrrr! Keep talking and I'll rip your face off!

by Zack K

By now everyone has heard of the Chevy Volt fire, and what a complete non-issue it is. ONE car caught fire, 3 weeks after the accident. If you crash your car and want to wait 3 weeks before you get out of it, the world really doesn’t need your genes in its pool. But the news grabbed the story, because they’re bored and terrible at their jobs. So they turned it into a big hullabaloo, hurting a recovering manufacturer all in the name of ratings. CNN-for example- has been in the shitter for years, so thinking this would be their big break is retarded. But another news organization has also been shouting “fire” all to stick a thorn in the Obama administration for funding the Volt with the auto bailouts. And that’s what has Bob Lutz so pissed off. This man doesn’t like a twisting of the facts.

After the fire Chevy was doing as much damage control as they could. A story like this scares people, and not everyone has time to surf automotive blogs all day. This is a problem. One journalist reported strangers commenting, “Be careful, those catch fire.” The seed had been planted.

Bob Lutz- revolving GM leader, horsepower proponent, and professional awesome guy- was a main brain behind the Chevy Volt. And that’s why he’s so mad at people like Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. Mad enough he wrote this excellent, scathing piece for Forbes titled, “Chevy Volt and the Wrong-Headed Right.” (I strongly recommend you rea d it. Don’t worry, it’s short, and entertaining.) I doubt Bob and I agree on much besides cars, but the way he digs into O’Reilly, Lou Dobbs and Rush Limbaugh is just perfect. Those two fact-changing-blowhards have been using the Volt fire as a way to fire more agenda missiles at the Obama administration. The idea is, Obama’s administration offers a $7,500 tax credit, therefore they are using tax-payer money TO MAKE FIRE. Fucking retards I disagree, and so does Bob. Bush signed the tax incentive. But Bob’s bigger point was, why are you turning a non-story into something that hurts a recovering American business?

Bob fired back, using the GOP talking head kryptonite: facts. And it’s not that Bob is a liberal, not by any stretch of the imagination. He’s a tried and true conservative. But trying to undermine Obama by twisting facts and hurting an American business is not what he supports. His main point is here:

“While as a conservative Republican I may well share the goal, I deplore the means employed to attain it. The conservative cause damages itself, destroys its credibility through the expedient spreading of untruths. The public will figure it out.

The right-wing “talking heads”, O’Reilly and Limbaugh at the forefront, have managed to make me embarrassed to describe myself as a conservative.”

This would be a great thing for all media -but especially Fox News- to think about. When a staunch conservative like Bob disagrees with your tactics, despite agreeing with their goal, maybe it’s time to change. He and I might not agree on politics, but he at least wants it to be a fair fight.  They preach about job creation and stifling regulation, but do you think their listeners want to help support GM’s new foray into the world of hybrids and forward-thinking technology, after being told they catch fire? Of course not. They aren’t thinking of the overall on this one, a shortsightedness that is all too prevalent today.

Bravo, Bob. I couldn’t agree more.

Click here Bob Lutz’s full article, “The Chevy Volt and the Wrong-Headed Right.”

Another month, another niche supercar builder. This is the Shayton Equilibrium, made by  the luxury brand Provoco State of Passion, a company from Slovenia who makes clothes. And when I want a hyper car, I know my first stop is GAP. So they decided to build a car, and give it a name that sounds like an annoying 13 year old born in Orange County (“Shayton! Don’t talk that way to your sister. Her sex tape will make us famous!) Like the Zenvo ST1 it will have a limited production run, 20 units in this case. The car will be made out of titanium and carbon fiber, with a curb weight goal of 2,646lbs. A 1,100HP V-12 engine will sit in the middle, theoretically sending it to 60MPH in 2.9s and on to 250MPH. It’s also quite good looking. But..

… there’s a few things that worry me. The first is, small-production hyper-cars are risky. Using the latest materials, technology and a big engine is great but this isn’t like building a bird house where you can forget to drill the entrance and say, “well I’ve never made one before.” This company wants to be the new measure of “beauty, quality and lifestyle for the 21st century.” Bugatti spent billions making the Veyron. Other companies, like Koeniggsegg, SSC or Pagani, spent comparable sums or simplified the design. But the Shayton has fancy materials and a fancy engine. And fancy things are hard to make and easy to break.

My other concern is their website. They put together a great pitch filled with Egyptian legends and fake gods, with sections of their site labeled “Essence.” I don’t know how a brochure that sounds like Lord of the Rings attracts buyers, but when there’s too much fluff in a pitch I get skeptical. I don’t need to know how a hawk picked up a stick and that created the earth, which is your explanation for the design behind your cupholder. Just make the car go fast and look pretty.

I’m not saying small companies shouldn’t try to join the game. Koeniggsegg tried, and succeeded, and I don’t want to live in a world without their cars. I just find smarmy, mystical sales pitches a little hilarious. I hope this car is as good as they say, because hyper cars are awesome. I just hope they didn’t divert cut into the engineering budget to hire a sci-fi writer. I also hope it works better than the Zenvo we were supposed to drive but couldn’t because it was having issues.

“Shayton is a new god, the god of speed and performance.”  ALL HAIL SHAYTON!

Hey everyone, here’s episode 2 of the podcast. I apologize for the delay. We had 6 microphones this time, and some had volume issues. So Chris had to go through the entire thing adjusting each moment Thad talked. It took a while but next week we’ll have new gear so this shouldn’t happen again.

Last we checked, over 5,000 people had downloaded the first episode and the response online was pretty damn good. This week, we had a guest stop in; our friend and touring comic, Micah “Bam Bam” White. He’s hilarious,  fresh off a tour in Hawaii and he’ll be at the Hollywood Improv tonight. We want to thank you guys for tuning in, we all have a great time doing it and plan to continue each week. If you like it and want to help us out, just spread the word. Share our podcast, and videos or articles you like. Help spread the gospel of TST.

The Smoking Tire heads to Daytona Beach, FL to follow Turner Motosports as they enter the Rolex 24 Hours of Daytona. It’s the 50th year of the legendary race and they’ve brought 2 nasty E92 BMW M3 GTs to compete. (Turn your volume up for the in-car footage; they sound incredible.)  In part 1 we meet the team and watch the drivers take the cars out for final  testing, addressing issues like tire wear, over-steer and night-time fatigue. Watch for newcomer, Michael Marsal, ripping past an Audi R8 GT on the outside of the oval. Video after the click.

by Zack K

Since the Acura NSX made so many people swoon at the NAIAS, I thought it was a good time to bust out this funny spec sheet of Tony Stark’s NSX from The Avengers. Of course it’s all fictional, but I love the amount of cool, “techy” words they mix together. It’s almost like a mad-lib; This hyper _____ wheel prevents neutron_____ and ____ attacks while modulating modulators. My favorite is the wheels made from, “particle matter technology.” Isn’t everything made with particle matter technology? Make the jump for the build sheet. Oh, price is about $10M. But the taxes are surprisingly cheap.

Specs sourced from Collider. Descriptions of the options’ function are pure, ridiculous, random, careless speculation, created at TST headquarters.

Acura 2012 Stark Industries Super Car

Tactical Package

Standard Equipment at No Extra Cost

Operating/Durability Features:

• Palladium-powered 80,000 TOHC 32-valve engine with titanium-forged block and nitrous fuel-injection system. (BMW is working on a similar system. It runs on shredded plastic bottles, gets 400MPG, has adjustable power (200HP up to 900) and it’s only emissions are fresh water and baby unicorns. Not for sale in the USA)
• 9 Speed HYPER-Shift transmission (Downshifts automatically every time you end a sentence with “I just hope we make it in time.” Can’t recognize difference between saving the world and stuck in traffic while on the way to dinner.)
• Diamond quartz cross-drilled brake calipers. (Still squeak at low speeds. Developed in a joint-effort between Lil’ Jon Materials and Spoiled Whore Automotive.)
• Steering wheel with palm-scan ID
• Lithium Dioxide-injecting shocks I am not a chemist
• Reflex-response steering column with target guidance feedback (People love hearing “target guidance.”)
• Super-scan theft-deterrent modulator (Anything that’s a modulator is really awesome.)

Defense Systems:

• Info-net sensory tracker system (Ah good. The tracking of info-net senses has lacked on cars of late, especially on the Corvette, despite journalist please.
• Invisa-shield exo-system wave modifier (available at Brookstone)
• Enviro-clone projected hologram of surroundings (Made from old, recycled projected holograms found behind CNN)
• Thermal imaging topography mapping software
• Emergency homing beacon (Marketing talk for On Star)

Exterior Features

• Advanced radar-deflecting capabilities with wave modifier (Ok, what’s a wave modifier?)
• Bullet- and foreign element-proof clear coat and metal skin (Still can’t protect Tony from Gwyneth’s icy glares)
• Night-vision HUD windshield (Also plays DVDs)
• Bulletproof hyper-traction tires (Hyper means lots! Right!? Yay lotsa traction!)
• High-grade tint with radar bounce and jam capabilities. (Psh. That’s on any Chevy you see with stick-on Buick holes)
• Intermittent blue and red tech flashers in all light assemblies
• Underbody kit with aero-dynamic spoiler lip ( Remember kids, the more words for a part, the better.)
• Black-night painted-wheels with particle matter technology (Isn’t everything made using particles, matter, and technology? Crayons are made with particle matter technology.)

Tactical Package

• Anti-ballistic shielding body panels (“Ballistic”, totally awesome movie word #4)
• Incoming scan scrambler. (Doesn’t defend against faxes though).
• Low-density plasma emitters with UV flares (I was wondering when “plasma” was going to make an appearance here.)
• Encrypted computer with backup-powered interface and satellite link (Anonymous already broke in and changed the MMI language to Afrikaans.)

Manufacturer’s Suggested Retail Price: $9,198,000.00

Tax: $22,364 (In California, this car carries a tax of $840,000)

License and Registration: $6, 782 (License fee in CA: $65,000. Hope the clerk gets commission.)

Destination Fee: $1,854

Total Vehicle Price: $9,229,000.00

Palladium Power Estimates:  (A car that runs on metal. Sure.)

City Miles – 234

Highway Miles – 302

Source: Collider

by Zack K

Last night I was hanging out with our friend and TST podcast member, Chris Hayes, and the news of BMW‘s new diesel M cars came up. We were both excited. They combine huge torque (545 ft-lbs!) with 376HP while getting 36 MPG. Perfect, right? And since the 335d had 51/49 F/R weight distribution, the concern of a heavy nose is gone. Fucking awesome. Except they’re not bring them to the USA. Once again Europe has great fruit we can’t reach. I think the diesel movement is slowly growing here but at a slow rate. Shame. Luxury car buyers would love diesel if they gave it a chance. They feel the torque in a V-8, refer to it as “powerful” and that makes them feel good. But since they rarely wind their cars past 4k, they’re just wasting a good V-8 and a bunch of gas. One day, we’ll get a shot at these. For now, I wrote a little thing I imagine is how a conversation might go with BMW, from the perspective of someone begging them to bring these awesome cars to the USA. Jump for that and the pretty moving picture of the M550d, BMW X5 M50d and BMW X6 M50d.

“BMW is making performance diesel cars! Yes! Score! Finally torque and speed meet efficiency with it costing $1M like the 918. I can’t wait! Put me down for an M550d…What? You’re not selling it in America? Wh…oh because we don’t buy diesels? Well, yea, that’s true but I think there’s potential. Rich people love them some smooth torque. It’s why they buy the silly 550i and CLS550! Nononono not that the CLS and 550i are similar, of course not did I mention what nice, cliche industrial-looking glasses you have?  I’m telling you, Mr. Hansdietrichbeerfranzenscarypeoplewunderbar, I think if you just put a little work into the marketing-explain the power, torque and handling with hybrid-like MPG- you might be surpri….but what if…not going to even try? True, Ed Hardy people don’t buy diesel, we’re working on a detainment program actually…The money is better spent improving the efficiency at which you develop efficiency?… sounds like Germany all right. What about enthusiasts!? Bam! There ya go, they’ll totally – they don’t buy much? K, got me there. They love buying your hats though… Damn you’re efficient at rebuttles…  *sigh*”

$1,000,000 for Obama’s used 300C. I think this salesman is just delusional. Or drunk. Or playing a really good joke. Or he owes money to someone in Chicago and this is his bright idea to keep all his fingers. Or maybe it’s Blagojevich raising legal funds. Either way, this guy is really trying to cash in on the leftover Barret Jackson buyers looking for the next investment “collectible.”

In the description he justifies the asking price by listing the big prices paid for cars owned by the Pope and former President of Iran, both around a million dollars. And this car, one day, might be worth that much. 20 years from now a museum might want it, or maybe Karl Rove’s friend will buy it for him for his birthday to be used as a pinata. But $1M up front is a big gamble. It might be worth that much eventually, but to buy it for that price now seems like a big risk. I’m curious to see what happens, and we’ll be watching the auction. Personal politics aside, do you think it’s a good investment? Let us know.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120849425946

by Zack K

There’s no fun hybrid out there. The CR-Z has potential, but other than that, until the Porsche 918 Spyder shows up hybrid cars are a night spent at home with a blanket and some decaf tea. Whoopee. I understand their primary goal is MPG and the fun cars will take time but I like some personality in my car. Toyota has been the brand of vanilla ice cream, communion wafers and tepid water. They made really good wafers, but until the FR-S showed up, that’s all they made.

But today they showed up with a pepper-crusted steak, stuffed with jalapenos and a tumbler of whiskey on the side. This is their new race car, the TS030, and it’s a hybrid. It’s fast as shit, screaming around the Paul Ricard course. And unlike every hybrid we can buy, it actually screams. There’s overrun coming out of the pits, even pops and back fires. What?! Jump for 3 videos, with one awesome in-car angle with driver, Alex Wurz.

The car is set to race at the 6 Hours of Spa-Francorchamps in May, and after that (hopefully) it will run at Le Mans. I know winning at Le Mans takes years, and even then it’s uncertain, but a rivalry between a Toyota Hybrid and an Audi TDI would make my day. And either way, we win. I’m glad to see Toyota had a few vodka and Monster Rehabs before heading into their meetings.

Pit Lane

Hot laps:

On board:

Thanks to YouTubers racecareng and AutostradaTV.

by Zack K

I pride myself on being a very aware driver. I know what cars are around me at all times, I watch traffic far ahead and have systems on high-alert most of the time. For a long time I chalked it up to good training by my dad, but a news story (below) has me thinking that perhaps it’s thanks of that endangered species, the manual transmission.

The news story below is about two parents who required their daughter’s first car to have a manual transmission. Their thinking is that with both hands busy steering and shifting, she won’t have time to text. That means she’s less distracted on the road and thus, safer. Makes sense to me; You can’t be a distracted driver if the car forces you to focus on driving.

Every car I have owned has had a manual transmission. I learned to drive in my dad’s ’95 Cherokee, which had an AT, but as soon as I’d learned the basics, my driving lessons were moved to the car I would actually use daily, a 1979 International Scout II. Terrifying to learn in. It was as smooth as dropping bolts in a garbage disposal. Every car I’ve owned since then has had a manual transmission, and it definitely requires more attention than an AT. I can operate the clutch, brakes and shifter on auto-pilot, but the fact that you have to be involved with so many parts of the car keeps you attentive and you really don’t have time to do much else. Many tasks-opening a drink, a snack, using NAV or even a phone-have to wait until a long stretch or a stop. My accident-free driving record is definitely due to a heavy amount of luck, but I know I’m more focused when i drive a manual; you have to be. I think the minimum amount of attention required to operate a car with a manual is higher than that of an automatic. You can drive an automatic with the focus of a Type 2 diabetic on a Laz-Y-Boy.

Last week I almost got taken out by a kid driving (ironically) a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Had he been merging with 3 pedals, he wouldn’t have been texting, so he would have seen me. I think these parents are on to something, and hopefully more parents pick up on this idea.

Back in July, Matt participated in the Bullrun Rally for the fifth time, and the first as a co-driver. He ran with Rob Ferretti of Super Speeders in a 2000 Mustang Cobra R, and made a series of videos which can be found here.

But the Bullrun was also filmed for a TV show, which premieres on MTV2 This Thursday, January 26th, 2012 at 11:30 PM PST. We personally can’t wait to see more of Matt’s exploits on TV, especially since the promo video uses the word “race” several times (we thought we weren’t supposed to do that?). Hit the jump for the trailer, and leave your thoughts in the comments.

by Zack K

The Juke R was released into the wild recently, starring as the pace vehicle for the Dunlop 24 Hour race. Everyone and their mom saw the awesome video of it sliding around a small course, being chased by a Gallardo, SLS AMG and some other pretty cars. At that event, every magazine and blog (except this one!) were invited to stop by and drive this midget power-lifter around the course. And what a surprise, it’s really fun and really fast. Shocking. The results of putting a Nissan GTR drive-train into a shorter, lighter car are as risky and predictable as replacing the cheap Hershey’s syrup on your Sunday with a fancy chocolate flown in from Sweden. Gee, I wonder if that will taste good?

Of course it did. Motor Trend took it around and reported it had quicker turn-in, rotated easier and was generally more fun and involving to drive. Awesome. And of course, now the speculation begins as to whether or not Nissan will actually sell this psychotic pill bug to the public. I’m betting if the office gets enough inquiries from well-financed buyers (read: not people like you, or me, or 14 year old Forza ‘Ring rats) they will. But my question to you is: Would you actually buy one? Would you spend, say, 6-figures for this car? And if you did, where would you drive it? I’m genuinely curious. Journalists live in impulsive fantasy land, “Should they make a 3,000HP Audi A1 with balloon tires? Of course they should.” But the subtitles there are, “That way I can rub-and-tug my way into a test-drive and have some fun in this ridiculous moon explorer without committing any real money to it.” We want everything built because no way in hell eventually we’ll get to drive it for free. We try to make imagination land real, for free. But that’s not fair.

So the Juke-R is fun, it’s fast, it’s crazy-looking and it’s clearly the love-child of mischief and LSD-inspired design. But would you plunk down the coin for it? If it’s a track toy, aren’t there better or more exciting ones for the money? If it’s a fun street-machine, how soon before that novelty wore off? And if it’s a daily driver, in my opinion, for the money, it’s too ugly. So, comment below: If they built it, would you buy it, and why?

Pics from: Automotor Blog

If you haven’t been following our new series Tuned on the /DRIVE Network, you’ve been missing out. We started by romping on BBi Autosport’s Porsche Turbo S, then moved on to crusing Grant’s Pass, Oregon in the amazing Decoliner RV by Blastolene. This week, we made it to the Dirtfish Rally School in Snoqualmie, WA, where we learned about rally car building and preparation, while Matt got to race six-time X-Games Gold Medalist Bucky Lasek.

Bucky, much more well known for skateboarding than for cars, isn’t exactly an easy takedown. He spends his weekends at the track club racing his modified Porsche 996 Turbo. He has raced Porsche cup cars at Sebring, Daytona, and all over southern California. And his skateboarding background means he’s used to pushing the limit. But when it comes to rally cars, he has the same 2 days of experience that Matt does. The race is closer than you’d think, but who will win? Hit the jump to find out.

by Zack K

By now you’ve heard about the big arrest of the Megaupload founder, Kim Schmitz, in New Zealand. No? You don’t read any websites other than this one and Mama’s Knitting Blog? Jesus. The short version is Kim Schmitz was a Gumball driver and hacker.  He lived life with the character and humility Scarfaces’ secret 16 year old millionaire son would have. He started Megaupload-a file sharing site-and made a shitload of money selling ads and memberships to people seeking pirated content. And now the money, cars, house and *cough* “party girls” are going away. He’s like a nerdy James Bond villain. Make the jump for the details and videos of his high-speed Gumball rallies, and the recent arrest.

I saw the headline of “Megaupload Founder Arrested” on my news app, and as curious citizen with knowledge of the site, I was curious. So I clicked to the story. Then it said “Kim Scmitz” and I thought, “Holy fucking shit! It’s that big dude from the Gumball rallies!” I immediately recognized him as the giant who had burned himself into my brain as the weird German guy who drove his Mercedes “CL3000″ like psychopath, laughing like an infant at 155MPH.

I had watched those videos countless times. They have the rare honor of being internet videos from the early days I still remember vividly. The genesis of my high-speed, long distance rally dreams, and my envy for every real Cannonball participant, were the Gumball and Mischief 3000 videos. The videos made Kim look like the fastest driver in the group (he wasn’t), so naturally I’d remember him. His attitude on camera was one of extreme confidence, almost a playful ego, like walking around with the knowledge you could uproot buildings and cause a lightning strike with a simple thought. After watching the videos I Googled him for a while, trying to find out who soft-spoken giant was. All I could find was a strange website with as much content as an empty refrigerator box. No resume, no history, no employment. This seemed weird, but I paid no mind, because I was 18 and was more focused on things like skateboarding and jungle juice.

Kim on the Gumball 3000 in Morocco.

That invincible attitude is reinforced with the Megupload case. After getting in trouble in Germany and Thailand for insider trading he moved to New Zealand, away from Interpol’s attention span. That’s the great thing about internet crime, it can be based anywhere. If you believe all the Verizon wireless ads, you could run a company like this from a hot air balloon. He rented a giant mansion, which he would have bought had the government not denied his application due to failing the “good character” test they give to hopeful migrants. I guess they were right.

This video is a news report from TV3 in New Zealand.

While living there Kim lived an extroverted life. When his family was granted residency, he paid for a New Year’s Eve firework display over Auckland at a cost of $500,000. He threw countless parties attended by pretty girls. I’m going to go out on a limb and say those ladies probably received “invitations” that looked a lot like cashier’s checks. Living loud and extravagantly is certainly the norm of criminal masterminds from the big screen, but you notice that always draws attention? 007 loved to crash an evil geniuses holiday party and take crumpet-laden crap on the baccarat table. And if you’ve already gotten in trouble, wouldn’t you want to fly a little more under the radar? Maybe not have license plates that say, “HACKER”, “MAFIA”, “GOD”, “STONED” and-best yet- “GUILTY” like Kim did. I know he’s a genius but the border between cocky and stupid is often paper thin. I mean, is it smart to advertise that you’re a criminal who thinks he’s untouchable? I wouldn’t drive a Ferrari with the plate “ISELROX” in 1985 when the drug war was beginning.

The F.B.I. showed up a few days ago. Despite Kim hitting the ” Oh shit, the cops are here.” button, activating some “electronic security” devices and locking himself in a “safe room” with a shotgun, the cops got him.

I’ve seen comments on YouTube both for and against the F.B.I.’s actions. I know some Top Gear UK fans have used torrents to see episodes, due to American cable’s delusional thought we wouldn’t enjoy that show. But Megaupload was different. Despite its legitimate business as a file sharing platform for companies and artists (Kanye West and Will.I.Am did commercials, touting the site’s ability to transfer songs.) most of it’s money came from selling subscriptions and advertising. I’ve “heard” the site is flooded with ads. What that means is someone steals the newest episode of “Bones” and uploads it. Then Kim tells advertisers 50 million people will visit his site and gets paid to put ads in but doesn’t send any money to the studios that made them. It’s a black-market TV network, essentially. Content providers estimate Megaupload cost them $500M in potential revenue and made $175M from advertising. Say what you want about studios already being rich or the internet needing to exist un-tethered but if I found out someone was re-posting our TST videos and making money off ads they’d sold, I’d shove that $500,000 firework display up their ass and start the New Year’s Countdown.

Watching the first video (at top) of Kim, I saw his attitude toward life summed up in one excited sentence, “I wish it could be Gumball every day.” He said it like a kid who just went to a water park for the first time, earnestly asking his parents on the ride home if they can move there. He lived every day like a Gumball rally. It’s the attitude of “Who cares?” It’s the attitude you have on New Year’s Eve when you meet a someone of questionable looks or hygiene, or how you act in Vegas on your 30th birthday. But you can’t live every day like that, because irresponsibility cannot last very long. Kim did, and now he’s going to jail.

by Zack K

We all make engine noises with our mouths. Admit it. You’ve either been describing a car, a race, trying to explain to your friends what your new exhaust sounds like (because surely MY skilled mouth can perfectly mimic the pitch differences between an Invidia exhaust and a Crawford one.) or you’re playing with your die-cast models. Either way, we do it, it’s fun and we don’t care how infantile it is or how many girls it confuses and horrifies.

F1 drivers are no different. Someone put them in front of a video camera and asked them to imitate their own cars. It’s pretty funny. And if you’re wondering “Do I sound that silly?” the answer is yes, yes you do.

This little post was found on reddit, the funnel through which much of the strange and crazy auto content flows. Commenting on the picture above, his page simply says “Found this trench two weeks ago, and it got the better of me.” I assumed he was trying to drive down it and got twisted up. But the picture below showed me he had a different idea of what it means to “conquer” it.

The caption for this second picture says “Came this weekend for Round 2.“, with the picture below showing you how well it worked out.

The final quote says “One day I will make it.” Again, I’m not sure what defines, “making it.” Crossing, or driving up or down; that makes sense. And getting some serious 4×4 lean can be exciting, but it seems clear this trench wants nothing to do with you, and might not be an “obstacle” that can be overcome while driving on the door handles. I guess he wants to defy the laws of physics and drive sideways, like a gecko walking on a glass patio door. The fact that that analogy is applicable should tell this guy he should let this one go. More pictures here.

When we posted the first-ever The Smoking Tire podcast, the response was overwhelmingly positive and it seems like something we’re going to make a weekly thing over here. As of the first 2 days, the podcast has been downloaded over 3,000 times, which is pretty damn good for a first try, especially considering it was only available on iTunes, much to the chagrin of some commenters. Well here at The Smoking Tire, we believe in giving the audience what they want, and we have uploaded the raw MP3 file for those listeners who do not want to use iTunes.

Full transparency: It’s better for us if people do use iTunes, but we do want to let everyone listen to the podcast, so here’s what we’re going to do. Going forward, the podcast will be uploaded to iTunes on Thursdays and the raw MP3 will be posted two days later. If you do use iTunes, please remember to subscribe to the podcast so you don’t miss a thing!

Download the Podcast on iTunes here.

Download the Podcast on MP3 here.

Subscribe to the MP3 RSS Feed here

Image Source: Chronicles of the Nerds

(this picture of Matt drifting an R8 on ice has to do with absolutely nothing)

Back in New York, I had the coolest gig. Once a week, myself, Mike Spinelli, and Mike Musto would head down to the Sirius studios and do an hour of live radio for Maxim 108. The show was called “RPM,” and I loved it. So we’ve decided to get back into the live radio spirit and try a podcast, like Adam Carolla’s ridiculously successful one.

So we did what any normal person would do: get a friend to get some awesome audio gear, a whole bunch of micro-brew beers, and talk cars and life for an hour.

Gentlemen and lady (if there are more than one of you leave a comment), welcome to the first-ever podcast from The Smoking Tire. Have a listen, hopefully subscribe, and leave your feedback in the comments. If you like it, we’ll do it again.

The Smoking Tire Podcast

We don’t have full size, but a larger version of the above image here by request.

The 24 Hours of Lemons is the fastest growing racing series in America, and for good reason: It’s cheap, at least by normal racing standards. Cars must not be worth more than $500, and poor driving is punished with hilarious penalties, dished out by Matt and the Lemons Supreme Court, comprised of Motor Trend’s Jonny Lieberman and The Truth About Cars’s Phil Greden (aka Murilee Martin). As a bonus, Matt is invited to pilot the safety car before the race, so we built our own replica of Formula One’s Safety Cars out of a brand-new C63 AMG coupe. Hit the jump for the video.

Of course this video was really fun to make, but it does lack the full in-depth review of the C63 that some of you were probably hoping for. Good news! Matt wrote one of those too, and it’s available in the free online magazine Road Lanes. 

Click here to read it.

"This sticker is dangerous and inconvenient but I do love fig newtons."- Ricky Bobby

by Zack K

Doctors have recently decided “distracted driving” includes many things beyond using a cell phone. Bluetooth and hands-free are useless in the fight against people’s lack of attention behind the wheel. The DMV in California even lists “Viewing objects outside the vehicle” as a contributor to accidents. Basically, we all suck at driving. Then, a few months ago, MINI announced it’s social-connection feeding tube app, “MINI Connected“, a program that reads you Twitter and Facebook updates while you drive. It fueled a small- yet informative- rant from yours truly. Now, Mercedes has decided to not just throw caution to the wind, but light caution on fire and throw it into a spinning windmill, with their conceptual driver media interface D.I.C.E., which stands for “Dynamic & Intuitive Control Experience.”

The goal is to make your car as smart as your phone, connecting to you to everything as quickly and seamlessly as possible. Instead of checking Yelp on your phone for nearby eateries, they pop up on the dash, with the option of projecting them onto the windshield. If you saw Mission Impossible 4 you’ll know the idea. Watch their video and you’ll see the “driver” getting all sorts of fascinating info, like how many cars drive over a bridge he’s near. Amazing! Just what I always need to know while driving down the street! I get why they’re doing it, but I have concerns.

Make the jump for a short explanation and their video.

I could rant for pages on it, but they summed it up in their own video (shown in the picture above). While typical-successful-looking-white-guy is checking out when a theater will reopen, two cyclists-one adult and one child-ride by in the background. Those very soft, breakable humans are hidden from view while he ponders if he fancies a show or not. What could possibly go wrong with this kind of media interaction available? I love Mercedes cars and few people get a muscle car right like them. I also understand you have to begin developing technology long before the world may be ready for it. I just hope this isn’t released until drivers are really ready for it. Like when cars drive themselves. If that’s the case, then magician-wave on.

“No, Zack Jr., you can’t have a new bike. Because you’re going to fucking die, that’s why.”

Click here to jump to Car and Driver for the video.

Last week, on the season premiere of Tuned, Matt visited BBi Autosport in Huntington Beach to drive a very impressive Porsche. This week, we turn it up a notch. Matt and the crew heads 800 miles north to Grant’s Pass, Oregon to visit the world’s greatest living hot rodder, Randy Grubb and his one-man company, Blastolene (greatest name ever ,BTW). Randy’s story is so good, and his passion for his craft so strong, that we simply had to share it with you. While he is best known for his first-ever creation, Jay Leno’s “Tank Car,” each of Randy’s projects seem to be better than the last. We awarded his semi truck, “Piss’d Off Pete” our highly coveted Best of SEMA award in 2009, and now we’re visiting him to drive the vehicle he’s been building since then. Introducing, the DecoLiner. Look at the picture above and consider this: Randy designed and built this functional flybridge motorhome from scratch, by himself, in his garage, in just over 5,000 hours. If you’re anything like us, your first thought is “Please let me drive that.” Fortunately, when you’re Matt, the answer is almost always “Sure.”

Hit the jump for the video review of this amazing custom vehicle.

The Deco-Liner is for sale, and Randy would like it to go to a good home so he can make some room in his garage for his next incredible project. If you’re interested in buying this piece of rolling art, go to www.blastolene.com

by Zack K

The day I bought my Mazda Miata, it only took one on-ramp to know I would like to do an engine swap. It’s size and low ride-height make it feel faster than it is, but thanks to an upbringing of muscle cars, an STI and gloriously high-caliber press cars, 130-ish horsepower does not cut it. Engine swaps are fairly common in Miata, with many people opting for V-8 LS power or the occasional SR20 plant. But I had always thought a bike motor was a cool idea.  Bikes are small, Miatas are small, the high-revs and banshee exhaust note seemed to suit the small roadster much better than a loud V-8.  This idea was given new life at the 24 Hours of Lemons at Buttonwillow, where we saw a Geo Metro buzzing around the track powered by a CBR1000 motor. It’s small and crazy and I loved it.

Since I lack the tools, space, time, know-how and funds to undertake this project, it was doomed to lay dormant in my mind for years. Odds are I would sell the Miata and trade up before I would try to learn engineering in the TST garage. Thankfully, someone else decided to give it a shot. The guys at MotoIQ have a new project: Miatabusa. One guess to figure out what that means. Oh what a name. They’re putting the engine from the king of the straight-line racers – the Suzuki Hayabusa- into their NB Miata and they’ve documented every step in funny, intelligent detail. If I took this on, it would have a cooling system made out of bendy straws. Not these guys. Solid works computer design, CNC machine, measuring, all the proper tools and skill to do it right. In fact, the idea is for this build to be an R&D project to build a kit, so the mildly talented big-dreamers like me can do the swap. At the end, they’re aiming for a 2000lb, 171hp Miata that retains the stock transmission and daily functionality with a proven, race-ready power train. And eventually they want to turbo it. I like these guys.

They’re 12 steps in so far, with a lot more to go. Jump to their site to go through the posts, covering everything from sub-frame issues, transmission shafts to custom gauges and exhaust. It’s actually inspired me to consider hanging onto my NB for the long-term.  I can’t wait til it’s done.

Source: MotoIQ

by Zack K

The Ferrari 458 Spider configurator has confused me. I clicked the link, and immediately changed it from the dark Rosso mugello to the traditional Rossa Corsa, because if I’m going to buy a Ferrari I want it to be “Ferrari red.” But since this is the internet where you can find a picture that caters to your fantasy about having a threesome with a Halo truck and a furry I decided to click through the other colors, just to see how they looked. I started with the usual blue, black and white but then kept going: Grigio ingrid (like sand), Blue Abu Dhabi, even one resembling British Racing Green-which felt somewhat sacrilegious- looked good enough to drive daily. I questioned my taste, “What the hell is wrong with me? I don’t want a teal car!”

See, I have always said my first Ferrari would be red. Call me typical, predictable, boring, unoriginal, monotone, a sheep, tacky, douchey, lame, boring, trashy or any other insulting word built upon the countless red Ferraris you’ve seen over the years; I don’t care. Partly to blame is something similar to frequency and inception. Like you, I’ve grown up seeing mostly red Ferraris and that repetition has planted the idea in my mind that a Ferrari should be red. That’s probably 20% of it. The other 80% is that I really really like the way their cars look in Rossa Corsa. It’s bright without looking soft, bold without the wannabe toughness that comes with black or matte (All “tough” guys are hedge fund managers and send back bottles of corked Pinot. Bring it!!). Red is a color that screams as loud as the car does and announces to the slower cars ahead of you that moving to the right is in their interest of self-preservation. It exudes the spirit of a Ferrari and suits it perfectly, like a soul-less medieval dungeon master wearing coarsely cut black leather from head to toe.

Yet here I am looking at every different color and thinking (with a few exceptions) they all look fantastic. Was it the color? The quality CGI? The usual exotic car lust that makes us sell our children and do away with eating? Nope. The 458 Spider just looks that good. When Vicky Henderson spent 5 tearfully happy minutes flying around Italy in one, I knew it was a great car to drive, especially without a roof to get in the way of its sonorous wail, but that was more about the driving than the shape. But taking a step back, it looks incredible. I think it looks even better than the coupe, something I can’t remember saying about any car, ever. Ferrari has done such a good job, it looks good in any color. Head over to the configurator and build one yourself. My first Ferrari will still be Rossa Corsa red, but if it’s not a 458 Spider, when I buy one of those I’m going to be as decisive a hypochondriac picking a toilet in a truck stop.

by Zack K

I’m nominating this video for best video ad of 2012. I know, it’s early. Hollywood does this when they roll out a piece of shit on January 2nd (“The best romantic comedy of the year!”) but when they do it, it’s because that movie will sink to last place in a matter of days and remain there for the rest of time. But this video, sponsored by ICON, GoPro and a littany of other performance companies, just fucking kills it. It’s the sequel to the original, spank-bank-worthy “Motorcycle vs Car Drift Battle” video that came out exactly one year ago. It featured Nick “APEX” Brocha sliding a stretched ZX10 around while an LS-powered RX-7 slid after him. I had never seen someone corner a bike like that, and it’s view count of over 4 million means neither had any of you.

This new video takes it up many notches. Nick is back, with his buddy Ernie Vigil. They take some Triumphs off the racetrack, into the hills of Washington. They’re riding is ridiculous, balancing a slippery rear wheel from turn to turn. But this time, there’s an addition, a “Smokey” played by drifter Dan Brockett. He chases down the 2-wheeled ruffians in the baddest cop car to date (Sorry, Gallardo), a Ford Mustang SVT Cobra. The combination of location, aerial shots, editing, driving, riding and execution is something fellow video nerds and non-blind people will unanimously love. It’s just sick. This is the best commercial since the Gymkhana series. Suck it, GEICO newt.  Ok, I can’t think anymore, I have to go watch it again. Make the jump, raise the resolution and grab a doughnut. Enjoy.

Source: Icon

We know it’s been a little quiet around here the past few days, and that’s because Matt and the crew are on a 3,000 mile road trip to film 4 episodes for our new show Tuned on the DRIVE Network. We’ll be back to regular posting on Monday, but for now, check out the January issue of the free online magazine Road Lanes, where Matt reviews the new Mercedes C63 Coupe, Lexus’s new “sporty” hybrid, the CT200H, and the BMW R1200R motorcycle!

Check it out at www.roadlanes.com

Some of you may not have heard of Tuned, our new show on the DRIVE Network. Whereas here on The Smoking Tire we tend to focus on factory stock car reviews, Tuned is all about the best custom projects around, from street cars to trucks, offroad to land yachts. In our season premiere, we hit up our old friends at BBi Autosport, who said we absolutely must try their 650 horsepower Porsche 997 Turbo S PDK. The car isn’t just about horsepower, either; it’s got the chassis, suspension, and brake upgrades to match. And as you can imagine, I take it out, drive it hard, and put it away wet. Hit the jump for the video and see what Tuned is all about.

by Zack K

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. My slightly cynical brain has observed enough people making and breaking them to know that just because Ryan Seacrest takes a break from giving Mario Lopez hand jobs to watch a big, lit-up ball drop it won’t make you stick to your diet. I did, however, make a “to do” list for 2012, and one of the things on it is to drive over 200 MPH. Somewhere, sometime, don’t care, needs to happen.

That goal is why I think this car, and the videos below, are so damn awesome. Jeff Gerner took a 1992 Audi S4, jammed 32 lbs of boost into it and brought it to Bonneville. Make the jump to find out the whys and hows, and watch this humble-looking (ok, aside from the stickers) sedan run near Veyron speeds.

A quick background on Jeff: He’s been working with cars and engines his whole life. He started drag racing a ’68 Camaro when he was 18, and then built a purpose-built dragster at 19. He spent his working career as an automotive fleet maintenance manager. Since “retirement” he started a race shop, http://fourringperformance.com/, which focuses on Audi/VW engines. But the guy can build pretty much anything. Basically, he’s been making things go fast since high school.

He chose a 1992 Audi S4, because his daily driver is a 1994 S4. He had already “tested” the high speed abilities and found that it was stable at 160MPH. He also knew the famous 20-valve I-5 motor would be up to the task. He explains:

“For those new to the Audi fold, this engine was originally developed for Audi’s legendary Group B rally cars. It was then used in Audi’s all conquering SCCA Trans Am and IMSA GTO class entries which were so dominant, in the late eighties and early ninety’s, that they were eventually kicked out of both series by the sanctioning bodies. They could not be beaten and all the other manufacturers were going to quit, so they kicked Audi out! How cool is that? So I wanted that engine to have a world speed record as well.”

I’ve known about the strength of the 20V ever since a friend co-worker bought one in college. In layman terms, they’re the Supra motors of Germany, as proven by the insanely high-powered Group B rally cars. Jeff took this one and shoved all his knowledge into it, ending with a car that made about 1100HP at 29 psi.(down form 32 for safety).

He also liked the car for it’s sturdy engineering:

“Additionally, I knew the UR S4′s were built like a tank and that it would hold up in a high speed crash as well or better than any other car I could choose.”

I don’t know how strong metal can be at 240 MPH but I’m glad he didn’t have to find out.  So he built this S4. And build it he did. He spent thousands of hours on the car, putting in safety systems like a cage, fire suppression and the awesome-sounding “inertia activated fuel shutoff.”

(2009 run where he set a class record of 222.996MPH, on the stock block at 9500 RPM.)

I tend to operate cars with a little bravado, probably too much at times. My policy is, if someone else has driven a car X miles per hour- and lived- it’s safe (in the right situation). I’ve topped out every car I’ve owned without incident. (I know it’s illegal and all that, but no one who reads this site has obeyed every law since age 16, so keep it to yourself). This doesn’t mean you can drive fast without focus and skill, but as people like Brock Yates and Alex Roy have proved, high-speed travel can be safe if done in proper cars, by capable drivers.

But speeds like this in a home-built car is a whole different game. Reading his interview I learn Jeff had to put the same kind of thought into his 20-year old car that Bugatti engineers did. The laws of physics are laws, and they don’t care if you’re driving something that cost $1M or $1. Jeff had to account for things I hadn’t thought of; the exhaust pressure exiting under the car possibly causing lift, for example. Cars in his class can’t have after-market aero, so he used the suspension to give the car a natural wedge shape. The stock roof rails were actually extended slightly to provide side to side stability, like a rudder. Jeff left no stone unturned, no foreseeable problem was passed over.
The video is not able to embed, so click the picture to jump to the vimeo page.

The World’s Fastest Audi – Landspeed record attempt in a 1992 Audi S4 from QuattroWorld.com on Vimeo.

Just plain awesome. Jeff has said this car accelerated harder than his old 600HP, 1973 drag car. It’s so powerful, you can’t give it full throttle until the top of 4th gear. Do it wrong and you get wheel-spin at all four corners, even at 190MPH. That’s gotta be interesting.

I hope I can do something like this one day. And while achieving that speed in anything- Veyron or Zonda or Koenigsegg, etc- would be incredible, there’s another element that comes from doing it in something that was never built to go that fast. Jeff Gerner had a dream, set a goal, built this car himself and then successfully ran it. Unfortunately, the motor blew on his follow-up run, ending his chance at an official record. It blew because Jeff wanted to set the record with the stock oil pump, which failed. This guy really loves the 20V motor, doesn’t he? But he’s fixing that issue, and he’ll be back at Bonneville soon. With his expertise and attention to details, i have no doubt he’ll do it. And QuattroWorld promised to be there.

Big thanks to QuattroWord for a great interview and video, and Hooniverse for finding it.

Source: Hooniverse

Original story: Quattro World

by Zack K

Matt and Tom are in Florida right now, getting ready to film the 24 Hours of Daytona. On the road, they saw this odd-looking van with a badge we don’t recognize. An hour of Google later and I still can’t figure out what it is. This is the second time in 3 weeks we’ve seen a car and not known what it is. (Tom brought home a Daewoo rental car disguised as a Chevy Captiva. It wasn’t that Captivating…). If you know what it is, post below. I’m going with Sesto Elemento test mule.

EDIT: Thanks to the fans, we found out it’s the VPG MV-1, a car specifically built for handicapped people. Jay Leno had one in his garage. It’s the only car built from the ground-up for people disabilities, solving problems that come with converting a car to accommodate a wheelchair. It can even be fitted to run on Natural Gas, which is ironic since it’s built in the old Hummer H2 factory.

- Zack K

What you’re looking at here is a big, lightweight, deep, comfortable waste of money. It’s a carbon fiber bath tub called the Corcel No. 1. You know, for increased handling, agility and acceleration. You see, for hundreds of years people have been buying heavy porcelain or cast iron bath tubs. They were known for their heat retention and durability, and protecting Mel Gibson and Danny Glover’s from a bomb in Lethal Weapon 2. These giant, heavy bath tubs are collector’s items as well as the setting for many murders throughout movie history.

But apparently all those people were secretly hoping for a lightweight, $72,000 bath tub; I guess porcelain had too much flex. I know people have the right to spend what is probably 0.01% of their savings on whatever they want, but this is fucking dumb. The only place this makes sense is on one of those psychotic $40 million carbon fiber yachts, and I don’t think there’s enough boats for all 51 of these. Outside that it’s a waste of carbon fiber. It’s winning tickets to the Super Bowl but watching it on the TV above the urinal. It’s putting gold flake on a dessert or getting a date with Kat Denings and taking her bee-keeping in the dark. I think it’s a silly waste. Make the jump to see their commercial, or what I’m calling, 2012′s Best Comedy.

Were you expecting Sigourney Weaver to pop out of the tub after waking up from hyper space? We were.

"It's your fault." "No, this was your bloody gag." "Dad! Look at my painting!"

If you haven’t seen the Top Gear India Special yet, stop reading and go here. If you have seen it, you are either eagerly clicking to the next page to see Executive Producer Andy Wilman’s thoughts – perhaps to understand why it was what it was – or you’re wondering, “What’s the fuss about?”

Apparently the fuss was big, 900 comments on the TG home page big. People weren’t happy and to be honest we’re in that group. It felt forced, campy, staged and just produced. Their “mission” seemed too abstract and far fetched compared to epic journeys in the past. We didn’t rant on the TG thread, but enough people did to get a response from the creator of the greatest show in the universe. Jump to see some example comments, and his reply. (Don’t worry Top Gear, we still watch you for hours. Every single day.)

The thread on Top Gear’s site is a deep well of fans and critics alike, but here’s some comments of note, with my comments on their comments in parentheses:

1. “Absolute shite.” – (Geez, don’t sugar coat it.)

2. “Oh dear. Sorry, I’m a huge TG fan and was looking forward to it very much, but was sorely disappointed. I actually found it embarrassing and cringeworthy in parts. Forced and contrived. So many missed opportunities and it was frustrating – you were in India, a country of such contrasts and beautiful people and scenery yet you focused on a premise that didn’t work and gave us overlong and overdone silliness like the garden party.” – (Agree completely and points for using more than 2 words.)

3. “everything was just so obvious…. it sucked. trying way to hard, wasn’t funny, was just scripted and in places, cringe. not cringe in a funny The Office type way, cringe in a bad way. bring back the old top gear, when it wasn’t scripted”

4. “Seeing the front of that Mini get ripped off nearly made me cry, was so sad.” – (I agree. Richard acting like he didn’t hear it made me feel like I was watching a children’s cartoon. We are smarter than that, as is he.)

Some people even said the show should end; that it’s losing it more and more. I disagree, and those people will be shot after I post this, but we weren’t that happy with the special either. It had a lot of forced gags, bad acting, worse singing (why why why?) that odd party and the destruction of the Mini we were drooling over. I know Top Gear sets up plenty of gags, but these were just too obvious for them to sell as spontaneous.

Because of the volume of complaints, Andy Wilman, the Executive Producer you might know from the recent Top Gear Top 40 Moments that’s been running more than SVU, responded to the comments:

I give this man props for being in control of one of the biggest shows in the world, yet being connected to his fans enough to address them (and this isn’t the first time). Big egos in Hollywood are as common as rug burns on assistants’ knees and I don’t think many of them in control of a show this big would take the time to talk to the fans, but Andy does. He sees how passionate people are, how much we love this show and that we all just want it to be as good as possible. No one is rooting for its failure, and when the show is good we would follow Wilman and the trio off a cliff with cult-like devotion. The fact that he admitted he didn’t love the special shows how small his ego is, and how much he cares. He’s a fan like us. We’ll be here for the next one Andy, don’t worry.

- Zack K

Here’s a guide to the formula of building the dumbest form of custom car to ever cruise American roads, the Donk.

1) Take 1 shitbox, generally worth very little money and in poor condition.

2) Spend 3 times the value of said shitbox on a lift kit to turn it into a monster truck.

3) Spend 4 times the value of said shitbox on some glitter paint. Don’t do any body work under the new paint, it helps to see previous damage through the paint.

4) Spend 5 times the value of said shitbox on wheels so big, the slightest bit of load will either cause them to collapse or come off completely, causing the world’s most “I told you so” moment.

5) Spend 0 times the value of said shitbox on upgrading brakes or any other safety component.

6) Show the homies what a moron how cool you are.

That’s if it’s done properly. At the very least, you probably want a car with some kind of V8 in it to handle the immense torque needed to get those yard wheels (you ain’t cool unless you measure your wheels in yards) moving. The Mazda RX-8, with it’s neck-breaking 152 lb/ft of torque is not what we were thinking of. What we have here, folks, is either the least pimpin donk ever (you think the skanks that like your Chevy are gonna know what a rotary engine is?) or the least fun RX-8 to drive on the planet.

  by Zack K

Two weeks ago Fisker announced it was recalling 239 cars due to a battery problem. It seems someone might have put some hoses on wrong and over time some coolant could leak. It’s not a real big deal, unless, maybe, it caused an electrical short and there was a fire or something. At least that’s what the NHTSA said. Ok, maybe they should take a look.

This bummed me out because despite Fisker’s MPG short-comings and numerous delays I like what they’re doing. I was lucky enough to meet Henrik Fisker and get a close look at this car and it’s pretty incredible. I know it’s heavy and expensive and has a coolant-hose-technician-issue but it looks amazing and the idea behind it is something that needed to come to fruition. They will improve and get better and other manufacturers will have to get better too. Fisker helped show us hybrids don’t have to look boring. Thankfully, they announced last night they’ve repaired most of the cars, and contacted the owners of the rest to schedule repairs. Phew.

Fisker acted fast and replaced the battery packs of the cars in dealerships and many of the customer cars. The only cars that haven’t been fixed are cars that are already in customers’ garages, but appointments are being made to replace their battery packs. I guess the customer base is small enough you could make those phone calls in one day.

It’s got to suck to finally get your $100k car and then have a recall, but my rule is never buy a car the first year it’s made, just in case there’s issues. This should probably be underlined when it’s the first car the company has ever built. But I think Fisker is committed to success, and this was (hopefully) a mere bump on a long Fisker life line. Move along people, nothing to see here.

Official Press Release:

Anaheim, California, USA – January 2, 2012: Fisker Automotive announced today that a majority of all customer cars and dealer-held vehicles affected by the recall involving A123-supplied battery packs have already had brand new battery packs fitted or the confirmed repair to the hose clamp assembly undertaken and are back in service – just 2 weeks after Fisker was first made aware of the issue.

The remaining customers have been contacted and appointments are being made for their replacement battery installation.

Henrik Fisker, CEO of Fisker Automotive said: “We will always react quickly to ensure the safety and quality of our cars. We decided that the immediate replacement of the battery pack in every vehicle was the right approach for all our customers.”

“We identified the appropriate fix, made our retailers aware of the situation and began contacting all our customers within 48 hours and were well advanced with the recall ourselves before the official posting on the NHSTA website.”

by Zack K

This is the Audi Group S Prototype. If you haven’t seen it before it’s because it wasn’t supposed to exist. After a photographer spilled the top-secret beans with a picture of a test run the Audi big wigs forced Roland Gumpert‘s team (yes, that Gumpert) to dismantle them, while his highness Ferdinand Piech personally watched. Thankfully, Mr. Gumpert had another one stashed away. Jamal from Hellafunctional.com found this car’s story in an old mag and it’s quite a story. The hyper-light, 1000hp mid-engined car could have been a trophy-laying goose for Audi if they hadn’t scrapped it. Make the jump to learn about this insane little car that never got its shot.

In 1980, Audi introduced its Quattro to the World Rally stage and AWD has been the drive-train of choice ever since. Getting in early they were rewarded with a few years of success, but in 1984 the competition had caught back up. The 5-cylinder engine in the Quattro was mounted way up front and although it was very fast and handled long sweepers well it tended to plow in slow corners. Peugot’s 205 Turbo 16 and Lancia’s Delta S4 were both mid-engined cars, making them more balanced and thanks to their smaller size, more nimble. The Quattro was too big to be competitive. Gumpert knew this and knew mid-engined was the answer.

But Audi’s fix was the Sport Quattro. They figured if the big Quattro wasn’t good in tight corners, make the car shorter. Apparently it was worse; still nose-heavy but in a smaller, twitchier chassis. Despite it being available, 1984 Champion Stig Blomqvist chose to run his older Quattro A2. That tells you something.

Roland’s team knew they needed a mid-engined car, but that annoyed the marketing people. They were building the Audi brand on the back of the front-engined, AWD Quattro. To change the layout now would have made ze Don von Drapers angry. Rumor is Piech gave Roland off-the-record approval, but the cars would have to be built in secret. And I mean secret. They took the project out of Germany to a facility in Desna in the Czech Republic. Cars were shipped from Audi’s factory in miss-marked containers so the people at Audi didn’t even know what was going on. In turn for an in-flow of cash to Desna, the locals were told to keep quiet, which they did.

The test cars looked like Sport Quattros, but the frame and mid-engine were all Prototype. It had the same 5-cylinder from the Sport Quattro, capable of 1000HP.  Gee, I wonder why the unlimited rally classes were dangerous?

Gumpert noticed the handling improvement from the new layout immediately and it didn’t take much tweaking before it was deemed ready for a drive by his awesomeness, Walter Rohrl (1982 WRC Champion and current ‘Ring driver for Porsche). They had set up a test drive on a gravel road but the location had been leaked and it was crawling with press. Gumpert turned the trucks around, ditched the gig and drove back into Germany. They found a small tarmac road and let Rohrl loose. He said the car was fantastic. Happening upon a police road block he asked if they had been tipped off. No. The car’s loud exhaust had gotten their attention. To get out of a picture, they required a “proper race start.” Those cops rock.

But someone did get a picture. A lone photographer found them, and ran a picture the next week. And that was it. The calls came down from on high, and 48 hours later Ferdinand Piech himself stood there while Gumpert’s team took apart all the Prototypes.

But Gumpert is a sneaky fuck, and I mean that in the best way. To quote him, “All the cars that were officially built were destroyed.” Keeping it off the books, I like it. This wasn’t even kept at the Desna factory. (There’s rumor of another “lost” car.) That’s why it’s here, sitting in smooth, light fiberglass glory at the Ingolstadt Museum. It’s actually kind of a pretty car, with a smooth, round shape that seems more shrunken super car than rally brawler. The Peugot and Lancias were Rubic’s cubes compared to this.

It’s a shame it never got to run. This little fireball looks more like Le Mans car than a rally car. It’s like an Ultima GTR with a tiny Veyron motor in it. My pea-sized brain thinks that sounds fun. I’d even call it half-pretty, a rarity in rally. And with 1000HP and a mid-engine setup this thing would have danced, shook and screamed through forests and over hills. Rohrl loved it, the engineers loved it and they were all confident it would have shown the world Audi could build the best rally car.

Perhaps one day they’ll dust it off and let it run. I think the Goodwood Festival of Speed would be open to an appearance.

Read the original article here: IEDEI via Hellafunctional

By now you’ve all heard of DRIVE, right? It’s the new, premium content only automotive channel for YouTube founded by our friend JF Musial and featuring a dozen different shows within the channel hosted and produced by some of the best car guys you can find on the internet. Guys like Chris Harris, Alex Roy, Leo Parente, and of course, me, Matt Farah. The point being, you can find all the online video content you’ll ever need (with the exception of The Smoking Tire, of course), in one place.

In the season premiere of DRIVE, Leo Parente’s Shakedown, which focuses on racing, takes a trip to the 24 Hours of Nurburgring for this 13 minute mini-documentary on the race. Hit the jump for the video and click here to subscribe to the DRIVE channel.

 Last week we sat down and looked at all the cars we had driven in 2011. It was a great year at The Smoking Tire. Though we hadn’t driven hundreds of cars with a team of only 1.5 journalists (Matt and Zack) we did pretty well, driving at least 60 cars. Some were used in episodes, some for written reviews and some were from Matt’s work on “The Car Show.” We decided to break them into 3 categories: Sedan of the Year, Truck/SUV of the Year, and Sports Car of the Year.

After coming to an agreement on the Sedan and Truck/SUV of the Year Matt chose the Sports Car of the Year. He drove everything, so he would be the best judge. LIES! We locked in our votes and then posted a contest for all of you: Whoever picked the same 3 cars we did before midnight on New Year’s Eve would win a t-shirt. It’s now January 1, 2012 which means it’s time to reveal our choices for Cars of the Year, as well as the contest winners.

Sedan of the Year: Mercedes Benz E350 Bluetec

Some of you were expecting the CLS63 AMG. Others lost their free shirt betting on the CTS-V wagon. We considered those, but a super-sedan is really a sports car wearing a fanny pack. You want a sports car, get a sports car. But if you want the best sedan on the market today, get a Mercedes E350 Bluetec.

We all fell for this car on a 1,600-mile drive to the California/Oregon border and back. The challenge was to drive from the Mexico border to Oregon in one day, the entire state of California, on one tank of diesel fuel. Clean diesel cars are fairly new to America and their fuel economy usually exceeds what’s advertised, so why not? The car had to fight stop-and-go traffic, 94-degree heat, mountains, several stops (for the camera truck to re-fuel), the weight of 3 full-grown man-boys, their camera gear and a slow-cooker plugged into an inverter that spent 6 hours roasting a brisket. Despite all that, we went 784 miles on a single, 21 gallon tank of dino juice, averaging 38.5 miles per gallon, better than the dismal Lexus CT200H Hybrid, a car so bland we completely forgot to put it on the list, even though we drove it just 3 weeks ago. A big part of its efficiency is the incredible 0.27 cD, which for the non-technical among us, means it’s just as aerodynamic as a Prius, and doesn’t look awful.

But it wasn’t just the fuel economy that hooked us; this car is the total package.

If it takes 100 miles to get to know a car, consider this a former spouse. You want to test an interior, spend 14 hours straight in one, then 10 hours the next day. It is one of the most comfortable we have sat in. The massage seats are better than those in the $400,000 Bentley Mulsanne. The engine is almost silent on the road yet has 402 torques that make accelerating or passing a breeze. It handles well for its size, the 7-speed transmission is repsonsive, the interior is nice looking and easy to use and it has a night-vision system which is as helpful as it is frigging awesome. I’m 5’11″ and after 10 hours in the back seat, I wasn’t the cranky, short-fused jackass I was expecting to be. Mercedes simply got many many things very right.

This car also brought us to the agreement that unless you’re getting an AMG (or similar performance car) and driving it, hard, all luxury cars should be diesel. People equate off-the-line torque with speed and it has that in spades. Few E550 owners ever use all the power and RPMs their cars can provide, so why not get something a little more frugal (something rich people secretly love). Stylish, aerodynamic, comfortable, silent, and efficient, the 2011 Mercedes E350 Bluetec is what a modern sedan should strive to be.

SUV/Truck of the Year: Ford F-150 EcoBoost

I’m betting a lot of you were expecting the Raptor to be here simply because we drive one all the time and love it very much, while writing in the review of the 2011 Raptor that it’s the best truck ever made. While the Raptor is our choice of transportation when the apocalypse comes in 2012,not to mention the one Matt wrote a check for, we’re objective enough to give credit where it’s due: The Ford F-150 EcoBoost is an incredible leap forward in the truck game. The 3.5L twin-turbo V-6 makes 365HP and 420 torques at only 2,500 RPM. Compare that to the Raptor’s 6.2L V-8; 411 HP and 435 torques, but not until 4,500RPM, which are on Premium fuel compared to the Ecoboost’s regular octane. Point: EcoBoost.

It also has the same towing capacity as the V-8 trucks, up to 11,300 pounds, so you can pull logs in slow motion through a muddy work site all day long. I don’t know why you would, that’s just what the commercials tell me you people are up to. And of course, the cream on top is the fuel economy: 21MPG highway. That’s only 1MPG less than the non-turbo V-6, and only in the 2WD trucks (the engines get the same MPG in the 4×4 trucks). With a 34 gallon tank, the range is 756 miles. That same trip means 2, more expensive, stops in the Raptor. Point: EcoBoost.

The EcoBoost outsold V-6 trucks from all of it’s competitors combined; more than 100,000 units. The last time Ford sold that many V-6 trucks was 1985. And lets not forget the comfortable, well-equipped interior. The seats in the top trim levels are nearly the same as our Raptor, and they are some of the best seats I’ve ever sat in, period. The media systems are great; Sync (at least the version the F150s and Mustangs get) is still best in the business, and there’s room and storage everywhere. Ford clearly thought things out, paying attention to every piece a person could use, touch or sit on. You put that interior onto a smart, powerful-yet-efficient platform and you cannot lose.

Bottom line: A tuned version of this engine in a Raptor would earn another check from Matt in 80,000 more miles. Raptors rock, 10 mpg doesn’t.

Sports Car of the Year: Porsche 997.5 GT3 RS

Of all the cars we’ve driven in the three categories, this one was the hardest to choose. I mean, just go back and look at that list of sports cars: Supercharged Lamborghini, 640 HP Corvette’s, a Mustang that handles like a German car, and the BMW 1M, the best car to come out of Munich in over a decade. All of them are incredible, and we’ve been very fortunate to get behind the wheel of these amazing machines. But I thought long and hard about this (read: the length of 1 massive Spider Wreck bong hit followed by 1 Camel Light cigarette), and one car stands out as being so completely over the top with driving excitement, it had to be recognized. We understand that this isn’t the newest, fastest version of the GT3 RS, as that honor goes to the new 4.0 version with 50 extra horsepower, but we’ve never even seen one of those in person, let alone drive one. Trust me, the 3.8 works just fine.

When you see a GT3 RS parked on the street, it looks like a full-on race car. And for good reason: it only weighs 220 pounds or so more than the actual 911 Cup cars, and most of that is mandatory street equipment and basic interior panels. There are no buttons on the steering wheel. The seats don’t recline, because if they did, you wouldn’t be driving properly. You’d think the radio would sound terrible, but it doesn’t. I know because I used it exactly one time. You may as well throw it out the window, because the 3.8L, 450 horsepower flat six sounds as close to its racing version as I’ve ever heard on a road car; add a basic cat-back exhaust and it sounds identical. It revs up like a literbike, and when it comes on cam, I just about came; on cam. I found the above picture by looking up “Direct Steering” on Google. Even on public roads, I found myself braking later into corners than I ever had in my life. The handling was so good, cameraman Tom Morningstar made a girl puke twice on a Sunday drive (thankfully she exited the car first). People use the term “bolt action rifle” to describe the perfect shifter. I’m convinced the gun was designed to mimic the car’s feel, not the other way around.

I was fortunate enough to spend a week with the GT3 RS while filming The Car Show back in May. We procured it for the purposes of running the Mojave Mile, where I went 166.3 mph. Just a few months beforehand, Richard Hammond of Top Gear used the exact same car for their American supercar road trip film, and nearly wrecked it at VIR, but he loved it.  We originally tried to get a Turbo S, which would have been the right decision for the film, as a Turbo S in attendance ran 182.7, but it wasn’t available, and I don’t care. Standing mile numbers notwithstanding, (the giant wing couldn’t have helped), this car was fast. 450 horsepower pushing around just 3020 pounds is ridiculous. Sure, the 4.2 second sprint to sixty may make you roll your eyes compared to Supercharged Lamborghinis or magical AWD computer-aided launches, but passing at highway speeds? Forget it. Every highway is the Mulsanne Straight when you’re in a GT3 RS.

That week was one of the best driving weeks of my life. I went 15 mph faster on the way to the runway than I did on it, and have never felt a car so planted at those speeds. Thank you, downforce. I spent 12 hours and 2 tanks of gas in the canyons one day. And I used the GT3 RS for daily driver errands, too. You’d think that the most hardcore, barely street legal race car available from Stuttgart would be rough, noisy, and generally unpleasant on the street, but the opposite was true. Even on rough pavement, the GT3 RS was totally bearable. The trunk and empty space normally filled with a hilariously un-usable back seat holds a surprising amount of stuff, provided it fits in between the (again, non-folding) seats to get there. The air conditioning, aforementioned radio, and ounce-shaving cloth door pulls do their jobs just fine. And it’s easy as pie to parallel park. Sure, the clutch and shifter are a bit heavy for the daily Los Angeles commute, but odds are, if you own, or are even considering owning a GT3 RS, you’ve got that situation handled.

Some of you may be disappointed that we didn’t choose everyone’s favorite, the BMW 1M Coupe. We loved that car, and I mean really had an amazing time driving it. It’s fantastic. But the GT3 RS is cut from the same cloth; a limited-edition, wider, faster, racier, yet somehow still practical version of an already high performance car. The difference is, the RS starts at a much higher level. These two cars are both incredibly brilliant. But at the end of the day, there has to be a winner. And the smile on my face while driving the Porsche at, frankly ludicrous speeds simply can’t be matched by a BMW 1-Series, even if it is the fastest, best handling, most fun 1-series ever made.

The Winners: Unfortunately, no one was able to guess the exact same cars as us. I know the list was long, but I thought someone might have. However, shoutout to user The Nik, who got two out of three, the Porsche and F-150 Ecoboost. For being the most right person in a sea of wrong people, The Nik, email Matt your address and we’ll send you a TST shirt.

Cars, even relatively “simple” ones, are incredibly complex pieces of machinery, which can be built at astonishing rates in a modern factory. Take the following equation: The average car is made up of about 30,000 parts, give or take. And, GM built 4,873 Chevrolet Sonics between June 2nd and November 21st of this year. That means assembling 146,190,000 parts in perfect order, every time. Well, almost every time. You see, every once in a while, parts get mixed up, or worse, forgotten completely. I remember seeing, at the local Chevrolet dealership a few months ago, Chevy Colorado pickup trucks with GMC Canyon rear tailgates and chuckling to myself. This time, the mixup wasn’t nearly as funny.

GM has issued a recall notice for the 4,873 Sonics built during this period of time because “approximately 20 to 30″ of them could be missing brake pads. Now, one missing brake pad out of 8 doesn’t mean we all need to worry about out-of-control Sonics running around our cities with no brakes at all. However, braking performance will obviously be affected, especially if it’s a front pad (which they all are, according to GM).

In general, 20 to 30 missing parts (that we know of) out of  146 million parts assembled is still a pretty good average. But, note to GM, if you’re going to double check whether or not cars have all their parts before leaving the factory, do us a favor and check the brakes first?

We’ll check for ourselves when we review the Sonic LTZ in January.

Source: Autoblog

This goes in the “Golden Reddit Finds” chapter of TST. The title was, “How is it determined if a custom-built car is road legal?”(I’m guessing the only way this is road-legal is if you still register it as the original Harley bike it was bolted to). Unfortunately, that was all the information on it. A search on Google found it is a 1936 Harley Davidson Sidecar, numerous people ogling and saying “I need to build this!” but nothing more.  So we don’t know anything about it, other than that it’s fucking rad. I mean rad in the 1980s Ninja Turtles, bright neon Hammer pants rad. It’s flat-out cool, with a nice dollop of crazy on top.

Judging by the beard this was taken in the late 60s, a time of, shall we say, inspired creativity? So this guy took a 1936 Harley sidecar and fabbed up a frame and drive-train. It looks like it uses a Harley V-twin motor, located where the motorcycle would be. I can’t tell if it’s chain-driven, but I would assume it’s a simple design due to the technology on hand at the time.  The wheels and tires are as big as the engine, hopefully giving this swollen go-kart a silly amount of grip. I imagine it has drum brakes off a car, at best. If it has motorcycle brakes (or only on one side like a go-kart) then this is a death machine. But because I live by the rule “Everything will be fine.” I don’t care.

I don’t know what a sidecar weighs, but it can’t be much. Engines back then didn’t make much power. In my dream, this thing has 200HP and was the grandpa of the Ariel Atom, but according to bikez.com a 1996 Harley Sportster made 50hp, so this is probably under 40. Don’t care. Want it anyway. It’s like a hot-rod motorcycle stew without being as serious as a rat rod. If anyone knows more about this thing, let us know.

- Zack K

So here’s…something. It’s an entertainment center built out of a real Porsche 996′s ass. It even has real brakes and wheels. That’s not a waste at all. Surprisingly it’s not made by Porsche Design, probably because they think it’s as ridiculous as I do. And that’s a feat, because they had the balls to make a $2,000 hookah and even their own cell phone, “Ze iPhone? Vat is zis iPhone? Bah. Our phone vill be betta! It vont have nearly ze lateral keyboard grip, or lag-free input response of our zellphone.”

No, this was just made by a guy. He’s probably a Porsche fan no shit Zack who saw the ’55 Chevy couches and wanted something similar that a Porschefile like him would appreciate. I understand that. It’s why we have posters, pictures and models filling our house up. They’re all reminders of something you love, an experience you had, the adrenaline of driving. But this is just the most inconvenient thing in the world. It holds a 42″ flat screen TV, which it raises up out where the back seat would be. Again, it takes mad balls to take the brilliantly thin flat-screen television- designed specifically to take up less space- and bolt it to something the size of a breakfast table. Make the jump to watch it in action, and more snark.

I guess sleek, subtle furniture is out. Later, IKEA. The new hotness is gigantic two-toned furniture that blinks several different lights at you while it performs its only function. The taillights are so bright when that TV raises up I was expecting a small rocket to launch. I can’t imagine someone buying this, but the purchasing invoice of Porsche enthusiasts is anything but logical, subtle or classy, so I bet I’m proven wrong.

- Zack K

2011 has been a good year for The Smoking Tire. We’ve doubled our subscriber base, our view counts, and been mentioned on many television shows. We’ve traveled to some amazing new places, and met real car guys from all over the country. But most importantly, of course, are the cars we took to get there. We’ve driven lots of different cars this year, old and new, and, like everyone else this year, we have to choose the best ones.

So we’re having a contest. Below you’ll find the list of all the cars I have driven this year. Some of them, you will notice, are not brand new cars. Some of the cars are subjects of our films. Others are subjects of written reviews either here or for Road Lanes Magazine, and a few cars on the list are for reviews or films that we are working on but have not yet posted. Some of them I tested on The Car Show, but my review was edited out of the aired version of the show, you know, for time.

There are three categories: Sedan, SUV/Truck, and Sports Car. I’ll decide my favorite car from each segment. Leave a comment below with your selections. If you and I have chosen the same cars, you win a free TST “Will Work For Keys” T-Shirt.

Only one guess is allowed per person, but the first three people to guess correctly before the midnight, January 1, 2012 deadline will win shirts. At that time I’ll post my choices and the first three matching selections in the comments are winners. Got it? Good. Now hit the jump for the nominees:

Sedan

Volvo S60

Cadillac CTS-V Wagon

Hyundai Genesis R-Spec

Bentley Mulsanne

Maybach 62S

Mini Countryman S AWD (People who think this is an SUV are morons)

Mercedes E-350 Bluetec

Dodge Charger SRT8

Chrysler 300 SRT8

Lexus IS-F

Mercedes CLS63 AMG

Subaru WRX STI Sedan

Ford Focus Titanium

SUV/Truck

BMW X6M

BMW X5M

BMW X5 Diesel

Porsche Cayenne Turbo

Ford F-150 SVT Raptor Super Crew

Dodge Durango V6 Crew

Jeep Wrangler Sahara Unlimited

Volvo XC60 R-Design

Audi Q7 TDI

Ford Explorer V6

Ford F-150 FX4 Ecoboost Super Crew

Sports Car

VF Engineering Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4

Lamborghini Gallardo LP560-4 Spyder Performante

BMW M3 Competition Package

Art Morrison 3G 1960 Corvette

BMW 1-Series M Coupe

Chevrolet Corvette Grand Sport

K-Sport Nissan 240 Drift Car

Chevrolet Corvette ZR-1

Dodge Challenger SRT 392

Mercedes C63 AMG Coupe

BMW 650i Convertible

KTM X-Bow

Ariel Atom 2-300

Ford GT (2006)

Ford Mustang Boss 302 Laguna Seca

Mosler MT900S “Raptor GTR” 

“24 Hours of Lemons” 1994 Nissan 300ZX

Porsche 997.5 GT3 RS

BBI Autosport Porsche 997.5 Turbo S

Nissan GTR (2012)

Audi R8 Spyder 4.2

2000 Mustang Cobra R

124 MPG.

That’s the projected MPG of the new Volvo V60 Diesel/Hybrid wagon, due out in 2013. That’s using the UK gallon (bigger), so converted for U.S. it’s 102.3MPG. Still ridiculous. Still astronomical, unbelievable, incredible and unavailable, at least if you live in the U.S. Same thing with Mercedes’ upcoming E300 Bluetech Hybrid. Confused? Curious? Mad? Me too. I don’t know why we can’t get it, but I intend to complain until we can. Read on

3 weeks ago I wondered aloud, “Why can’t we have a diesel hybrid? That would be the perfect drive train for a daily driver. It’s the best combination of torque and efficiency.” Coming on the heels of long drives in diesel cars from BMW and Mercedes I think unless you get a performance model like an AMG or an M car (for the right reasons, not because you liked the stitching on the seats or need to advertise you bank account’s contents) every luxury car should have a diesel motor. They’re quiet, they’re smooth and the torque makes them feel powerful, i.e. expensive. People like torque, because that’s what they feel from a stand still than makes them grab the door handle and get wide-eyed. Very few AMG owners wring their cars out to 6500 RPM at 90MPH. They just want thrust.

A week later the news came down Volvo is making one. “Really? With torque, and efficiency, and quiet, all that jazz?”

Yes. For extra icing on this free-range, Eco-friendly cake you can even plug it in. Based on their V60 wagon platform the car will have a 2.4L 5-cylinder diesel powering the front wheels and an electric motor that powers the back ones. The diesel motor makes 215HP and 324 torque, the electric motor is rated at 70HP (torque figure unavailable from Volvo). It can be driven in an EV for 35 miles, or you can turn on “power” mode and hit 60MPH in 6.2 seconds.

The efficiency (based on the European cycle) is insanely impressive. 124MPG? Even if it was half that, it simultaneously kicks those Prii asses at the pump and the track (no one tracks a Prius, I know). It’s also a wagon, so it has space for stuff. And it has selectable AWD, so you can drive it anywhere a normal person needs to go. In my mind it is the greatest daily driver in the universe.

Mercedes is doing it too; look at the E300 Bluetec diesel hybrid. It uses a hybrid system similar to the E400H hybrid, but with a diesel motor. The 2.1L 4-cylinder makes 200HP and 370 torques. Mercedes says it will get 56MPG, offered as either a wagon or a sedan. I drove the E350 Bluetec a few months ago and it was Frosted Flakes-level grrrreat. Seats, transmission, noise level, looks, feel; all phenomenal in town or on the highway. If I had the money I would buy one. Mercedes says the E350 diesel gets 21/33 MPG but even with 3 people, gear and a slow-cooker plugged in we averaged over 38 MPG.

Remember that number, because the E-class hybrid we are so grateful we can buy here gets 24 MPG city, 31MPG highway, a whopping increase of 4 and 1 (respectively) over the regular gas-powered E350. All that work for 1MPG. What a joke. But people will buy it because hybrids are the iPod of cars. More hybrids are offered every month. Plus, diesel cars don’t come with a cool green leaf badge on them to announce to everyone how much you care about aminals (misspelled for cuteness). Some hybrids get better mileage, but some don’t (Hi X6 Hybrid).  I like everyone’s enthusiasm about saving money the planet but our love of glowing, green balls has blinded us to a better (for now) solution. I know diesel fuel is more expensive, but so is that hybrid option. If you only get 1MPG better with that electric motor how long do you have to drive that car before you save money over the regular car? A while I’m guessing.

The Volvo seems like a huge step for the industry, and it’s not bad to look at either. But…the introductory price is (cover your screen) $75,000. You spit on it, didn’t you? I know it’s insane or at least, insane for a Volvo. But don’t think of it as a Volvo, think of it as a Swiss Army knife that’s also been stuffed with a working socket wrench, a chainsaw and a light saber yet it still fits in your pocket. And Volvo is charging that price for the first 1,000 cars, but if demand was higher the price would surely come down. The BMW X5 diesel we had was about $60k. That car’s 28 MPG is funny car efficiency compared to this thing.

Let’s do some math. The average American male in my age group drives 17,000 miles per year. If you drove the Mercedes E400 hybrid 17,000 miles, getting an advertised 31MPG you would need 548 gallons of gas. Using the current price of $3.23/gal that costs $1,770.

Now we’ll drive the V60 the same distance, but I’m going to cut it’s MPG down to 100MPG (we know Swedish fish is a shitty candy, so I won’t trust their MPG either). You would need 170 gallons of diesel to cover the distance. At the price of $3.82/gallon, that costs $649. $1,100 a year is quite a difference. If you have a 10-gallon tank, you can drive over 1000 miles before re-fueling. 1000! That’s not considering its EV range. (And it may or may not be able to tow a boat.)

Of course it takes 20 years to balance out the price of your V60 with the $50,000-ish E400 but the E300 Bluetec won’t be $75,000, yet that’s not coming to the US either. The fact these are forbidden fruit bugs me, and we’re partly to blame. We aren’t offered these great, fuel-efficient cars because there’s so little demand. Diesel cars accounted for only 7% of Mercedes sales. That means 10% of us bought AMGs because we’re hooligans (guilty) and 83% of us are fucking morons.* Even Ford won’t give us their 65MPG Fiesta diesel, because it would be priced right by the Prius, the teet we all love to suckle at, despite a bigger, nicer one sitting just next to it.

V60 interior

Maybe morons is too strong, but we’re just stuck. We grab at trends with eagerness of Italy’s prime minister at a high school dance and then we hang onto them no matter what information or alternatives are presented. We’re like Dustin Hoffman in Rainman, stuck in our routine and if someone offers something else we bang on our heads and scream. Well I think we should read the facts more (something many people in the USA hate doing), because right now we’re telling the world, “Oh, that’s a flying carpet? Hm, I dunno, all my friends have hard-wood floors, so I think I’ll stick to that. Plus, don’t carpets smell?” Well you know what? I want to be able to buy these cars, I want them here, I want a flying carpet. So you people better start buying some ****ing rugs.

- Zack K

*This math is purely arbitrary, other than the 7% of sales part. That’s true.

It’s been a while since Matt has made a guest appearance on The Car Report, by FoxNews.com (no, not that Fox News). Hosted by our old friend Gary Gastelu, The Car Report is a weekly live program discussing all things cars. This being the last show of the year, we simply had to address the North American Car and Truck of the year awards and how, frankly, silly they are. Just for reference, here are the finalists, chosen by them. 

Car: 

Ford Focus

Hyundai Elantra

Volkswagen Passat

Truck:

BMW X3

Honda CR-V

Land Rover Range Rover Evoque

As we can see, these choices are all rather silly. Sure, the Focus is a nice car (as Matt well knows), but three small crossovers making up the “truck” category?  I don’t care if the Evoque looks amazing, that’s just ridiculous. Join myself, Gary, and Jalopnik.com honcho Mike Spinelli on The Car Report as we come up with our own list.

Fox won’t allow us to embed the video here, but hit the link to watch the 15-minute video.

I can’t believe it’s already been over 22,000 miles since I picked up my GTI back in March of 2010. It seems like only yesterday that I traded in my Mercedes C230 for this “hot hatch” and am proud to say, I haven’t looked back…. much. Sure I miss RWD but my Mercedes, with it’s paltry 189 HP and rather weak 193 lbs./tq. never had enough grunt to make it worthwhile. That being said, my decision to add heavy 19 inch wheels didn’t help my performance. My GTI brings a more sporting 200 HP and 207 lb.ft. to the table, all while tipping the scales at 3,113 lbs (137 less than the C230). The extra power, less weight and more performance-oriented suspension make the GTI feel much more nimble. Especially on tight road courses such as Adams Raceway, which we featured in our GTI video review.

Owning a GTI has made me a more aggressive driver. I find myself at “excessive speeds” more often that I care to admit, something I’ve been reminded of on several occasions by our “boys in blue.” Maybe it’s just the quick shifting DSG transmission coupled with the surgical steering feel, but the GTI begs to be driven.

And drive I do. Over the past 22,488 miles, I’ve taken the Volkswagen from the beach, through the desert, up into the mountains, and back. Sometimes, all in the same day. I love living in Southern California. From the sweltering 117 degree heat of the desert to the 33 degree snow-covered mountain passes the GTI kept pulling strong. Although I originally pined for the optional summer tires my car came equipped with Pirelli All-Seasons. Although significantly less sticky than their performance oriented counterparts, the A/S tires respond well once warmed up. Not to mention they’ve lasted through 2 road courses, 3 Auto-X events, and numerous  blasts through the canyons.

While I initially thought I’d regret opting for the DSG over a traditional manual transmission, I’ve learned to love my flappy paddles. Changing gears takes milliseconds and when traffic has you creeping along at 5 MPH the automatic mode is a most welcome feature.  There are, however, some things I could do without. The touch screen navigation system that came with my 2010 GTI is so slow, on several occasions I’ve opted to use my iPhone instead. I’ve been told the newer models use a much better, button-based system. Also, the Bluetooth system is horrible. While I can hear people decently well, they often tell me it sounds like I’m speaking through a paper towel tube. And forget trying to make a call over 60 MPH, you’ll end up yelling at the center console just so your friends can hear you.

Build quality; Not something you are used to associating with Volkswagens of the past. Thoughts of creaky panels, broken buttons and dash lights galore quickly come to mind. Consider those a thing of the past. Aside from a pesky fender liner plug that kept popping out (replaced under warranty twice), and the typical DSG stutter in quick stop-and-go city driving, there hasn’t been anything that has led me to doubt the quality of my GTI. Not only is the interior screwed together better, but the interior materials used are a step above most cars in the sub-$25k range. Coming from a 2005 Mercedes, that’s saying quite a lot.

In the end, I love my GTI. It’s a great value and plenty of performance for a daily driver. However, being a car guy, I often wish it wasn’t FWD and had more power. If only VW offered something like that… Oh, hello Golf R.

- Daniel Volz

A few days ago Matt wrote a post on the certified, absolute death of Saab. There’s no encore to wait for, no defibrillator to grab, it’s over. The main focus of Matt’s post was how new Saab owners were screwed, because their warranties had ceased to exist. A lot of people in the comments section started asking if dealerships were offering big deals on Saabs, and if that was a good idea. We hadn’t heard anything at that point, but thanks to an article from Car and Driver, we have some new information for you about bargains, warranties and the future value of these cars. Make the jump.

The answer is “yes, depending on where you live.” One dealership in Boston is offering up to $18,000 off of new cars, especially fully loaded 9-5 Aeros. Not every dealership is doing it, but I would bet if you brought that ad into another dealer (a good tactic to buying any new car) you would open the door for negotiation. When Saab went under, it left the job of unloading inventory up to the dealer so a dealer can sell you the car for $1 if he wants to.

Yes, that is a crazy amount of money to “save” on a car. But there’s several things to consider:

First, this won’t be easy if you don’t have cash in hand. You know how banks prefer financing new cars as opposed to used? That’s because they’re a more stable investment. If you can no longer make payments, they’ll likely get more of their money back after they repo it. Using that as a template, trying to justify loaning money to buy a new car that’s already very discounted, made by a company that no longer exists, in a down market is hard to imagine. I’m not a banker, but even I would walk into that bank and say, “Are you crazy?” Actually, given my want to fist bankers with a gauntlet from Medieval Times, you greedy ass*****!! current feeling on banks, I hope none of them read these posts and they loan everyone money for a Saab.

Second (and this ties to the banks’ hesitation to loan), the car will depreciate very very quickly, so you have to be prepared to own this car for a long  time. In the past-long before Saab’s death rattle was even being built-Saabs depreciated much faster than other makes. After 3 years, the average Saab drops in value by 66%. So if you bought a car for $30k, 3 years later it was worth a little over $10,000. Fucking ouch.

The depreciation isn’t a new symptom; it was awful long before the company was going bankrupt. To compare, other cars made by deceased companies (Saturn, Oldsmobile, Pontiac) are only worth an average of $2,000 less than similar cars made by Chevrolet or Buick (who are still around). So it’s not even company bankruptcy that caused this, it’s Saab’s reputation in the past.

Add in the uncertainty of warranties and that decline is likely to increase, even if by a little. If you want to grab a great deal on a Saab, feel free, but you need to be committed to owning this car because if you try to sell it, you could lose more money than the dealer. If you want grey interior but your spouse wants white, better talk it out. Treat it like the decision to have a kid, although those are easier to sell.

"Anyone have a fuel injector for a 2011 9-3? No?"

Third: parts. Everyone is worried about parts supply for existing Saabs. This is where people might catch a break. The companies that manufacture many of the parts aren’t owned by Saab, so they will stay in business as long as demand does. Demand will surely slow, but since many of the cars shared much of their DNA and skeleton with GM cars (the 9-4X and Cadillac SRX, for example) parts will be around. You might be asking for the MAF sensor from a Tahoe to put on your 9-5, but at least you’ll be able to get it.

Lastly: warranties. This is the big question mark, “Will my existing Saab or new Saab be covered?” The answer is: depends. If you bought a Saab before January 1, 2010 (That’s the day GM dropped Saab) its warranty will be covered by GM. If you bought a car after that, it’s up to the dealership. Dealerships get reimbursed for warranty work by the manufacturer. Manufacturer go away, dealer get no money. Some dealerships have been performing warranty work and eating the cost, but don’t expect it. If you bough a Saab after that, get an aftermarket warranty. They usually cost a few thousand dollars for several years of coverage.

Without a company warranty many of the new cars will be sold “as is.” Again, this is a situation being handled different ways depending on the dealer. Some have added aftermarket warranties at their own expense (some states require a new car come with a warranty), others put “as is” signs on the car, and some can even do fancy paperwork to change the car’s classification from “new” to “used.” Again, get a warranty. Remember, you’re buying this car with the intent of keeping it for a while; stuff will break and you don’t want to have to pay for it. And in the off chance you try to sell the car, a warranty will provide some peace of mind to what will no doubt be a nervous shopper.

Everyone loves a bargain, and getting a new car this cheap never happens, even if you blow the dealer himself, although that will get you upgraded floor mats. But be very aware of the situation you’re entering into. I would also consider how many independent Saab repair shops exist around you. If you live in the middle of Idaho and the only repair shop is the dealership, I’d steer clear. But in California, they’re everywhere. Just be sure it’s what you want, and something you want for a long time.

- Zack K

A few days ago we posted the teaser pictures of Lexus’ 2012 concept car. Lexus had only provided pictures of the front left headlight and an interior shot, but based on those tastes I figured the whole car would be “dericious.” I was right. Someone leaked (AKA “volunteered to be fired”) a complete picture of the car a month ahead of the Detroit release. Internet: 1, foolish leaking intern: 0.

But wow is it good looking. I can’t tell it’s size, but it looks like a slightly softer LFA. With the stunning interior and these proportions, I’m even more convinced it’s going to be a luxury/sport grand tourer. Whatever it is, it’s sexy. Sexy Lexus…my brain still isn’t used to that. Now, can someone leak some specs for us?

According to the German Technical Inspection Agency, TÜV, the Porsche 911 is the most reliable and trouble-free car of this century. The century is only 11 years old, so I look at it as a decade, but that doesn’t take away the fact that a Porsche can show up to the Super Terrific Reliability Party*, hosted in Japan each year. The TÜV tested 8 million vehicles between June of 2010 and 2011 and concluded the 911 had the fewest number of reported defects since 2000. It doesn’t matter if the car had been driven 100 miles or 100,000. Make the jump for the year-to-year breakdown and to see what other cars will reliably take you to and from the….I actually have no idea what they do in Germany besides Nurburgringing.

The TÜV broke their report down into categories based on the car’s age. 2-3 years old, 4-5 years old, etc.  The percentages below represent the number of cars of those tested that were found to have faults. Shall we?
Out of all the cars 10-11 years old the Porsche 911 had the fewest number of faults reported at a rate of 8.3%. 2nd place went to the Toyota RAV4 (10.5%) and in 3rd was the Porsche Boxster(11.2%).

The 911 scored the same in the 8-9 year old category; 8.3%. The Boxster and RAV4 podium again, just reversed: 8.3% for the Boxster and 10.2% for the RAV4.

Of cars 6-7 years old, the 911 reported a 5.5% fault rate, with the Porsche Boxster in 2nd (7.1%) and the Subaru Forester in 3rd(7.3%).

Cars 4-5 years old had a 3-way tie for first place between the Porsche Boxster, Cayman and Toyota Corolla; All had a fault rate of 4.2%. The 911? A not-so-distant 3rd of 4.6%.

The final round was cars 2-3 years old. The Toyota Prius had the lowest report rate (2.2%), but the 911 was behind by only a tenth at 2.3%.

Each year the Porsche 911 had either the fewest faults or was in the top (or is it bottom?) 3. I’ve seen how Porsche tests their cars, and the extent to which they try to hurt them. I’ve seen them spray water on the car while driving it in sub-zero temperatures,  just to see how massive ice build-up would affect the engine, lights, cooling and every other system. If you build a car that can withstand all that, I’m not surprised it survives Germany’s fine roads with only the occasional “paper cut.”

So if you were cross-shopping between a Prius, Forester and Porsche 911 (happens all the time, right?), now you have your answer, as well as a failproof justification to explain to your sig. other why you bought a $90,000 Porsche instead of a hybrid. Although you could also use the excuse, “Because I don’t want to die inside.”

- Zack K

* This does not actually exist.

We tend to avoid “industry news” here at the Smoking Tire because covering it requires writing about things that are mostly, even to a car guy, as boring as watching an entire season of Spec-Smart Car racing. But here’s a bit of industry news that you might find interesting, especially if you thought now was the time to take advantage of a deeply discounted, brand new Saab: Now that the company has entered bankruptcy, your warranty is gone. That gorgeous new 9-5 that you thought was the second coming of Sweden’s auto business? Not covered. The 9-3 SportCombi you just picked up for the ski house in Aspen? Not covered. But what about the 9-4, which everyone knows is just a rebadged Cadillac SRX? Not covered. But what if you wanted to buy one of the 1,200 or-so brand new, zero mile Saabs sitting on dealer lots right now? Expect to find a window sticker reading something like: As-is, No Warranty.

Should you worry about this? It’s not like Saabs are unreliable cars. Actually it is, and according to TrueDelta’s reliability survey, they are less reliable than the competition. It’s not just warranty either, hit the jump to see the list of everything Saab is no longer doing for their customers.

This memo, which we clearly stole from Autoblog, must be terrifying if you own a recently purchased Saab, especially since these cars are now worth approximately zero and you’ve just realized you’re upside down in it.

If you’re one of about 9 people who read this site and drive a Saab (especially if you just found out your warranty expired early) leave your Saab stories (pun intended) below.

Source: Autoblog

Let it be known the statement “I drive for a living.” has a very broad definition. Just because your occupation has the same verb in it as Lewis Hamilton doesn’t mean you’re anything like him. I write for a living but that doesn’t mean I should be given a 6-volume book deal to write the next great teen/magic/witchcraft/coming-of-age/romantic/statutory/necrophilia blockbuster. Today’s lesson is brought to you by David Dopp and the stupid good people of teamgive.org. They are a charitable organization, but made the mistake of giving away a 2008 Lamborghini LP640 for a contest they called “Joe Schmo to Lambo.” You can’t hand 640HP to just anyone, even a professional truck driver. This was proven 6 hours after he won the car, when he crashed it.

The contest was supposed to raise awareness about Team Give and Maverik, a gas station company. David won out of 10 finalists, no doubt the coolest day of his life. Then, 6 hours after taking delivery, according to the Santaquin News David Dopp was driving about 50MPH at 6:30PM when he lost it around a curve, sliding over a curb (ow) and then into a field, puncturing the oil pan on a fence post (double ow).

“We came around that corner and just started spinning,” said Dopp.

Dopp says he might have hit gravel or black ice. The officer on the scene thinks Dopp just wasn’t used to the car. Which one of these theories is the most likely? I’m thinking a showy right foot and lime green testicles was to blame. Sure, Dopp has been driving a Frito-Lay delivery truck for years; the same training grounds that spawned Schumacher, Hamilton and Gronholm. But they probably worked their way up through the food-delivery kart series, then Formula 3 potato chips, etc. David jumped from Frito van to hyper car, the common mistake of many professional athletes and pop singers. If money doesn’t equal driving skill then free money really doesn’t.

David isn’t worried. He says it has full insurance and the car is going to Vegas right now for an estimate. I think his amount of worry is going to change drastically when that paper comes back. That insurance gecko is going to have a shit. Remember people, the car doesn’t make the driver, and don’t ever, ever, ever compare a panel truck to a Lamborghini.

-Zack K

Thanks to the Santaquin News for the details and photos.

The first Lexus I ever liked was the  IS300(XE10). I just liked the way it looked. Whenever I saw one in traffic it looked annoyed, like it was too good to be stuck in commuter captivity. It had a little edge to it. The only one I ever drove was an AT which kind of ruined the moment, but I still like them, especially with a 2JZ swap. Then came the IS250/350 and the ISF. All good looking. We have an ISF outside this week and I definitely linger on its bodywork. It’s a great blend of bulging metal and smooth transitions. Like mace that’s been dipped fondue.

Well someone at Lexus has done right again. The picture above is a Lexus concept that will be debuting at the Detroit Auto Show in January of 2012. And it looks very promising. Someone at Lexus has been taking art classes, maybe taught by an Italian woman with dark hair and the curves of Jessica Rabbit. Jump to see the teased interior pic.

You know how guys can spot a beautiful woman even if all we see is a glimpse of one knee as we drive past at 40MPH, at night? I’m applying that here. You can look at just this corner and know this car will be something special. It has the same smooth cuts, swoops and slashes of the LFA (a car I only like pieces of). The aluminum accents along the intakes project off the red paint and the way fender’s shape  rolls onto the hood and then down toward the grill; I think it looks very promising. Sometimes concept cars can go to far to into the ether (Mazda), but I wouldn’t mind seeing that quarter panel every time I opened my garage.

Lexus also released a picture of the interior. The flow is incredible. It’s like a river of leather and wood running through the car. I got to sit in an LFA once and was pleasantly surprised at how good it looked, as if a surgeon asked for some artistic input before building his custom operating room. But this concept takes that to another level. It gives the sensation of silent but forceful movement. Like a yacht on a glassy lake going 80MPH. The stitching on the leather looks extremely cool and the detached, leather-wrapped gauge cluster remind me a little of a Zonda, and that’s a very good thing.
They’re keeping details quiet but if I had to guess I would say a luxury GT car akin to the DB9, 599 or even a Bentley Continental. Who knows? I think Lexus is going to surprise some people. Either way, I like it and the direction Lexus seems to be headed. That are teacher must be incredible.

- Zack K

Note: Let’s call this Sunday reading. It’s a bit long but there’s pretty pictures, even one that moves! It’s Sunday, take some time for the story I spent hours on yourself.

SEMA was over. The AdultCon of car shows had packed up, making way for the AdultCon of people; AdultCon. Hundreds of thousands of people stared at thousands of cars, parts, dudes in company polo shirts, failed strippers promo models, obstructing the way for depressed humanoids trying to gamble. Everyone went home on Friday…and missed the best show of the entire week: The Optima Batteries Ultimate Street Car Invitational

You should have gone, because this event is the shit. Matt was invited to compete in his 1998 C5 Corvette. We figured between the car’s lightweight, power and suspension and Matt knowing Spring Mountain like the palm of his hand, he might do pretty well. However we were not prepared for what showed up early on Saturday morning. Make the jump for the story and massive gallery.

Let me briefly explain the Optima Streetcar Invitational. It’s a triathlon for cars, except it has 5 events; Road Rally, Design, Road Course, Auto-X and Speed/Stop Challenge. Points are awarded to the top 20 finishers of each event. The Road Rally was first, but Matt decided not to run it. “Why?” I’m glad you asked.

Road Rally

The Road Rally was from Vegas to Pahrump. That day, NV decided it was bored of being known as a hot desert, and sent some rain (and at higher elevations, snow). Perhaps nature’s way of cleaning Vegas of neon lights and Lambo doors to make room for those talented actresses. Anyway, Matt loves convertibles. Before he drove from LA to Vegas he took the roof off his ’98 Corvette. Did I mention Matt left that roof behind? “That seems silly Mister Zack.” It is silly, Timmy. “Why?” I don’t remember why, something about his car will be in-doors all week and “so many Car Show groupies, it will be hitting me in the face.” Could be paraphrasing.  Point is he left it behind. “Mister Zack, does it rain in Nevada?”

Yes, Timmy. It does.

Cut to Friday, it’s raining and cold. Highway 15 had been closed due to snow. Matt was scrambling to find a solution. Borrow a roof, find a trailer to hitch a ride with, wait for the rain to die…all fails. We stared at the Optima awning, “I wonder if we can make it into a roof, like Lamborghini does…” We couldn’t. So, Matt quietly  put on 2 jackets, racing gloves and drove to Pahrump quickly. Yes officer, the speed keeps the rain out. He described it as a  less-than-optimal fornication experience, AKA, “that fucking sucked!” We felt his pain, our 2011 BMW X5 diesel was fitted with seat heaters only, no massage. The humanity. We thawed ourselves with potato water. The morning’s events were pushed aside by a young woman telling me about her friend, an “actress” who once made a “movie” where she “entertained”  600 gentlemen. I stared at a woman wearing a bikini in the winter, thinking “Can you catch syphilis from a bar stool?” Sleep.

Points earned: 0.

The morning came too soon. Cold and dark. The casino/gas station/swap-meet coffee was shitty. We pulled into Spring Mountain Motorsports Ranch just after daylight did. We parked the car and found Matt in line for tech. He we realized  Optima uses the term “streetcar”  loosely. These cars were serious. A conversation with several owners could have gone like this, “Nice race trailer. Kinda big though isn’t it? You need the space for what?….to hold your 4 rolling Snap-On tool boxes and the soul of Michael Shumacher? Ah I see. Yeah it makes sense then.”

Half the field were classics. Camaros won the  popularity contest, along with 2 ’66 Mustangs that sounded like a NASCAR motor starting in a small cave. In fact, most of these cars had exhaust notes that can pierce a hymen standing too close. One Mustang had a 4-foot tall wing on it… no one laughed. That should say something. It’s the fight club of the pro-touring community. Race engines, wide-bodies, huge huge huge rubber. The fact that a modded Nissan GTR (Gee, wonder how it did?) had serious competition coming from multiple cars 40 years its senior should tell you something. In some ways a battle of generations.  A bright red wide-body Corvette started up. My hangover was overcome with a big grin. This is going to be an epic day. Matt didn’t smile.

Autocross

The good thing about the OUSCI is there’s several events. The bad thing is, two of them are run simultaneously. Because there were so many cars, the event had a tight schedule and the cars were split up. Auto-X and the Road Course would be ran at the same time. So you have to pick whether you want to watch every car do 1 event, or half the cars do both events. We stuck with Matt and headed to the Auto-X course. It was set up to be more open, allowing the high-powered cars to run a bit. No 15 MPH slice and dice.

The lineup was daunting. It included the modded GTR and the down-force-packing Mustang. Oh and Sam Hubinette. He was taking Jamie Howe (the only SPEED host a 13 year old boy should know by name) for an on-camera ride . His parade lap was done dorifto style, the finale stopping in the stop-box while doing a rolling burnout. This is officially the second-best cure of a hangover. Spinning his tires was easy thanks to the frigid 42 degree air and colder tarmac. Despite the cold pavement Matt managed to run the course in 43.5s, 26th place, dead in the middle. Considering it was cold, his tires are old and his car was worth as much as most of the cars’ support tools, finishing mid-pack was fine by him.

The rules say “no pro drivers.” Ok. 10-Time consecutive “recreational” SCCA champion Mary Pozzi came in 2nd ( 39.4s) in a sick, newly-finished 1972 Chevy Camaro. Between its chassis, fender flares and wheel/tire combo it was as classic as an iPad 2. But man, seeing a muscle car rail around an Auto-X with that kind of agility, braking and balance blew me away. I spent a lot of time with these cars as a kid and I never thought I would see them within tenths of a second of a modern Corvette or GTR. And nothing sounds like an old car with race pipes, nothing.

My friends 3ZERO3 Motorsports ran a 43.4s in a VW Beetle with a turboed R32 drivetrain. That silenced several  “un-pimp ze auto” jokes. (There was a particular PT Cruiser that needed to be thrown with a trebuchet due to suffering from whowouldbuildthat-itis. A sweet bonus was watching Goldberg hosting the SPEED coverage of the event. Each car got an introduction, said with the charm of Gerard Butler barking words of encouragement to his men in 300.

Top time went to Danny Popp, turning a 38.2 in his 24 Hour Le Mans GT lookalike  street-capable C6 Corvette. To revisit the conversation on defining “streetcar”; this gentleman had tire warmers on his car while he waited in line. Trailer full of tools, tech team, ok. Fine. Cars are a pain to work on and if you have the $, why not. But tire warmers?  I wanted to look at this gathering as a sort of race amongst gentlemen (and ladies). They all created a car from an idea, brought it to the biggest show and then decided to have a bit of motoring fun in Pahrump. Apparently it’s a bit more serious than that.

Matt’s car was out-gunned and with ninjas like Pozzi and Popp playing, out-driven as well. His goal now was to finish mid-pack, not crash, not break anything and not embarrass himself. Mine was to find water, Advil and warmth. 1 out of 2 ain’t bad.

Points Earned: 0  

Hot Lap Challenge

Thad and I made our way towards the road course, stopping to look at all the pretty metal scenery along the way. I won’t slow this down with commentary on every car but definitely check out the gallery at the bottom. The best viewpoint is the Spring Mountain viewing bridge, perched above the starting line and grid. That’s another great thing about this event: access. You can walk up to the track barrier, there’s viewing towers, you can even go up on the giant Optima trailer. Being able to see everything is what makes a race event fun to attend. Usually it costs extra (pit passes); here were free to roam. Cars lined up as a group, running warm-up laps a few at a time. Each car launches from a stop and ripped directly under us at WOT. I Inhale delicious carcinogens shot out of cat-less exhausts. Thad points North, “We drove over those fuckin’ mountains!“  In the distance, a burnout cracks the cold air. So far, so great.

In the driver’s meeting they had told everyone the warm-up lap was a warm-up lap. We all know where this story is going. Coming around the corner is a ’68 Camaro, driven by someone who is following the meeting’s advice. He’s driving 6 tenths, cruising toward the sweeper. A little behind him is Danny Popp, in his magic car. Danny is also learning the track and exploring his car’s limits on the track but his are a little higher. He’s gaining like a cheetah chasing an old woman. Camaro brakes early. Corvette: Full brake, tire lock, smoke. From my vantage point Danny was close enough to read the other driver’s lips through the rear view mirror.

Someone else had an interesting warm-up lap: Matt. He went off in turn 2 during his warm-up lap. Bad tires and cold ground were charged as the guilty party. Matt shook it off, but we later found out he had broken a sway bar end link, hurting his timed laps later on.

At the end of the event, he had put down a time of 2:00 flat. 26th place again. The other times were all over the place. Some cars that I expected to be slow (1992 2-door Chevy Tahoe with an AT and a big block!?) weren’t. A V6 Mustang had an exhaust that sounded like cicada’s farting into a trumpet buzzed around to everyone’s chagrin.

Others looked fast like the sharp modern/retro 1966 Nova- weren’t. Mary Pozzi’s Camaro thundered round in 1:53.1.  Kyle Tucker put down a 1:48.43 in his 1970 Camaro. But the track was ruled by Corvettes. Danny Popp and Peter Callaway (yeah, that Callaway) ran a 1:42.208 and 1:44.745. The cheater! GTR, with all its computers and TSC:  1:48.441. That shows you how fast those Corvettes are, and also how fast Kyle was in the Camaro.

Points earned: 0

Design Challenge

All day judges were walking around grading the cars for the Raybesto’s Performance Design Challenge. The judges apologized for only having 5 minutes for each car, saying, “There’s some cars we could spend hours looking at.” Cut to Our Super Speeding friend Rob Feretti stood with the judges as they looked over his 1100WHP Supra,  “Yea it’s not probably not one of those 2 hour cars you guys were talking about. Go ahead, pretend to look at it for the entire 5 minutes. ” Matt did not win, but at least he didn’t bring a PT Cruiser with the graphics package off a 1984 surf board.

Points Earned: 0

Speed/Stop Challenge

It was now the last event of the day: The Wilwood Brakes Speed Stop Challenge. The Auto-X course had been cleared and a strip was set up diagonally across the big black slab. Starting at the banner, cars raced towards the stop-box. THe goal was to get to the other side as fast as possible. You had to stop in a box about 40′L x 15′ Wide.  Brake too late you hit the cones and get DQed, too soon and you lose valuable seconds. It was a great test of acceleration and braking, only one of which is a natural skill for old cars.

Thad and I walked out to the tarmac. I never worried about a car getting lose and murdering us, but it is a little interesting standing at that end watching cars with 500+ HP try to contain it at WOT. I saw more than a few hoods waver side to side. The marshals did forbid me from standing behind the stop box for a head-on shot, I guess in case a throttle stuck. Despite having had that experience myself, when the throttle in my ’65 Le Mans stuck at about 95MPH on Highway 1, I thought that type of accident was impossible. At the lease I’d be able to dodge the automotive bull. The marshals are smarter than I, and asked me to move.

Matt hadn’t ever done anything like this but he had plenty of drag racing experience, so the launch was easy. But stopping on cue and calculating that while you’re accelerating as fast as possible must be a strange idea for your brain to understand. Unfortunately Matt hit cones 3 times in a row. No points. Eh, who cares. How often do you need to pull into a garage at 78 MPH?  Back from his runs, “That’s a lot harder than it looks.” I believe him. Another driver advertised confidence. 5 minutes later, “That’s harder than it looks.”

Car after car charged at the box, furiously throwing itself forward with the silence and subtlety of an avalanche and then throw out the anchor and late-brake into the box. The 1957 Chevy Bel Air was fun to watch. It was like a cartoon elephant trying to come to a quick stop right before the cliff. Skid marks were plentiful. It was fucking awesome. A few yards from a juiced up pony car screaming towards us like a rabid dog chasing Lady Gaga.

First place went to Gary Rubio in….the Nissan GTR. It leaped to the box and stopped in 0:06.54s. This surprised no one. What did surprise us is that 2nd place went to Mark Stielo in his ’69 Camaro, which somehow found traction, screaming away with the violence of hesitation of a depleted-uranium round from an AC-10 and came to a rest in only 0:07.096. .6 seconds behind one of the most technically capable cars ever is no joke. Pozzi and Popp were only behind by tenths of a second.

The PT Cruiser showed up. It struggled with the acceleration portion of this event, because it started in 2nd. Then it would downshift from 2nd to 1st about 60 feet from the start line. Its sound was worrisome. “That’s the sound of it trying to kill itself.” a spectator commented. Ba-zing.

Pete Callaway's Corvette

There was one more thing going on during this challenge, that really encapsulates what this event is about. In the middle of the challenge, Peter Callaway was yanking his brake master cylinder, to give to Danny Popp. Danny’s had failed after the road course and its difficult to compete with no brakes. Danny was in competition to win the event, and Peter’s C6 Corvette was a matching tissue doner. This is what weekend racing is about; being competitive without working against each other. It’s just a bunch of really crazy friends. They pulled the part, got it in and Danny was able to get 3rd, putting him tied for the win Mark Stielo. A 2006 Corvette Zo6 and a ’69 Camaro, tied at 80 points in a performance decathlon. Pretty cool.

Points Earned: 0

The judges decision came down to the tie-breaker: the fastest time on the road course wins it. Mark Stielo hadn’t  beat Popp’s time of 1:42.208. But even so, it’s incredible what the pro-touring cars can do. The diversity of the cars, the close-up action, the access and the friendliness of every single person there made this one of the best car shows/races I’ve ever been to. It was relaxed without the bore of a stand around car show. And it was noisy and competitive without feeling to serious or impersonal. New cars, old cars, burnouts, road course, all held together by tens of thousands of horsepower. I was grinning like an 8 year old all day.

Unfortunately the day wasn’t great for Mr. Farah. He actually did pretty well considering the broken end-link, old tires and no tire warmers. But the road rally and Speed Stop Challenge cost him.  Add in judges incapable of appreciating the beautiful and captivating miracle that is a red C5 Corvette and ended up in 46th place.

But Rob Feretti got 47th.

- Zack K

There has been some interesting debate in the comments about my performance in the 2011 Mojave Mile, piloting the Corvette ZR1. Mainly, the debate revolves around two factors:

1) I am fat, and if I were not fat, I would have broken 180 mph, the completely arbitrary goal I set for myself that day.

2) The 2012 Nissan GTR shouldn’t be faster than the Corvette in the mile, yet in the video, the announcer at the Mile says that a “girl in a stock GTR” ran 179.9.

Let’s explore these items after the jump.

First, lets get all the facts straight. Going into this event, I had no idea what kind of number the car would run. I picked 180 as a completely arbitrary number, having no idea if the ZR1 were capable of that. Is there evidence that any bone stock ZR1 has ever cracked the 180 mark in the mile? No. Never been done. I probably should have looked that up, before running, but whatever. The organizer of the mile runs a ZR1, and he said that in absolutely perfect, sea-level conditions, his car wouldn’t do any better than 178.5. And he’s a professional NHRA/SCTA drag racer.

Mojave is also at 2800 feet of elevation, which is good for nearly a 50 horsepower loss. So I wasn’t running with 638 horsepower; it was much closer to 590.A horsepower loss like that is good for about 1.5 mph in the standing mile. There was a 15 mph headwind as well, good for another 1.5 mph. So I was, basically, limited to 3 mph slower than the car’s absolute performance potential for this test.

Now, about this whole “fat driver means slow car” issue. It’s true that being lighter is better, whether you’re talking about the car or the driver. Or is it? Check out this video of Autocar’s standing mile race between the Corvette ZR1 and the Porsche 911 GT2. You may notice that a) the video is shot in england, which has an average elevation of 500 feet. and b) the driver of the Corvette is, compared to yours truly, one skinny little limey. Obviously, because he’s skinnier than me, the car simply must go faster in the mile, right? RIGHT? Nope. Skinny little England’s ZR1 hits 175.9 mph, 8 tenths slower than my fat American ass ran one at elevation. Weight comes into play for the kind of stats that manufacturers need to sell their cars: Acceleration from a standstill, handling, and braking. No manufacturer this side of Koenigsegg tries to market their vehicles by saying how fast they will accelerate over 150 mph. At those speeds, it’s all about horsepower and aerodynamics, not weight. I neglected to mention the driver’s weight for the fastest recorded standing mile run in a stock ZR1, 178.5 as run by the pro mentioned above. The guy is 300 lbs, or about 45 lbs heavier than I am. If driver weight matters so much, how come the heaviest racer on the runway can run the fastest pass?

Now that we’ve proven the ZR1 won’t do 180 in the mile in stock trim, even with a skinny driver, let’s discuss the GTR. In the film, the announcer says that I am getting beaten by “a girl in a stock GTR” that ran 179.9. In hindsight, lets take a look at the race results for ourselves. If you’d like to see them all, click here, otherwise I’ve screen-shotted the most important part below.

You’ll notice the stock 2012 GTR, piloted by Irmina Martinez of Oceanside, CA, did not actually beat me in the mile. She ran a 175.3 to my Corvette’s 176.7. So the announcer was just fucking with me for video purposes. On the other hand, Dave Scholtz, in the 2010 GTR, seemingly ran 180.5. Anyone who knows anything about GTR’s knows that there’s no way in hell a stock 2010 GTR will beat a stock 2012 GTR in a simple drag race by that much. 5 MPH faster in the mile with otherwise identical cars would require one of the cars to have more than 100 extra horsepower over the other. Google says that Dave Scholtz is an accomplished amateur autocrosser and road racer, but in a GTR you really just mash it to the floor and go. If both cars are truly stock, as they claimed, I think that Irmina’s 175.3 is much more realistic. Bascically I’m calling bullshit that Mr. Scholtz’s car is stock.

Basically what I’m saying here is that I ran that damn ZR1 all day long, every which way possible. And I’m convinced that I ran it as fast as it would go. Would me losing a few pounds make the car go any faster? Maybe a fraction of a mile per hour, but nothing of significance. Standing mile is about horsepower and aerodynamics, not ultra low weight and launch grip. The internet has made gigantic horsepower numbers seem so normal, and no one even realizes what a feat they are. Going from 0 to 176.7 in just a mile is ludicrously quick. In order to get that same car to do 200 in the mile, you’d need over 1,000 horsepower at the wheels. 

So while yes, the idea of this post came about because I was sick of reading hundreds of comments calling me fat, the truth goes much deeper than that. Any asshole can post up some dumb YouTube comment. In fact, for every one thoughtful comment I see there are at least 50 more written by University of Phoenix online rejects, people with 5th grade reading and writing levels, and fucking morons. Do your homework people. You want to use a car not reaching an arbitrarily chosen goal on a runway as a good excuse to call someone fat? At least make sure you know what the fuck you’re talking about.

On this episode of The Smoking Tire, we take the 2011 Corvette ZR1, the fastest Corvette ever produced, to the Mojave Mile for a little high-speed testing. Back in May, Matt came to the Mile with a Porsche 911 GT3RS, an amazing, barely street legal track car, and while it ran a very respectable 166.8 mph, that just wasn’t enough. We had a goal of crossing the 1-mile traps going at least 175, and the ZR1 could be the perfect weapon. Hit the jump for the video.

*If the embedded video does not work, please go here to watch it.

There has been much debate over the results of this video, and I address some viewer’s questions and concerns here.

Sometimes, there’s just too much goodness to go into one video, so I also wrote a full cover story review for the November issue of Road Lanes Online Automotive Magazine, which you can view here. 

Not in this town, missy.

You know truck nuts, right? Those stupid fake balls that people attach to their tow hitch to show everyone…I’m not sure what actually. I guess that you’ve got balls, guts, moxi, etc. You’re the man! “You see these nuts on my truck? They’re only half as big as the balls in my shrunken brain, imagination, pants!” I guess. I think they’re stupid. They are the douche flag of the red neck. Well as it turns out, these are illegal in South Carolina. A sheriff in Moncks Corner, SC wrote a driver a citation for $445. Any guesses on the driver’s name? Buck? Steve? Kevin Klein Klanigan? Hw about Virginia Tice.  Classy. Well, women are more empowered now. She’s probably one of these new, tough chicks you see on Hog Hunters, right? She’s 67 years old. “Look, grandma’s here! That’s her truck! See? It has grandpa’s balls on it! Cookies!!”

The law she broke says, “a sticker, decal, emblem, or device is indecent when taken as a whole, it describes, in a patently offensive way, as determined by contemporary community standards, sexual acts, excretory functions, or parts of the human body.” Can you imagine a lawyer, mid-way through writing this law asking, “Pardon me your honor, sorry to bother you, um, law 438599, does it also pertain to synthetic bull testicles? Yes sir, I know, apparently our citizens like to advertize their possession of testicles, but they can’t hang them out windows…yes, because of law 438598. So it does? Thanks your honor.” I don’t think these are obscene enough to be illegal, I just think they’re retarded. It does make it easier to filter out Mensa candidates though. Virginia is fighting the citation in court. Prepare for the funniest argument using freedom of speech you’ve ever seen.

- Zack K

Weds night the epic documentary SENNA received the Motor Press Guild’s Dean Bachelor Award for Excellence in Automotive Journalism. Good, it deserved it. I don’t know how many films win journalism awards, but considering this movie was up against seasoned journalist and people that wrote books, I think it’s a big deal. (It also won the award for Best Audio/Visual media, but for this movie, that was like playing t-ball.) For the three of you fucking soulless morons who haven’t yet scene SENNA, see it. It’s the epic story of arguably the greatest F1 driver all time told through the lenses of vintage F1 footage. I didn’t know who Senna was until I saw this film, but my kids will know his name. (Don’t let me name my kid Ayrton. Cliche, and difficult to yell).

When Matt came back from the event he told me one of the other contenders was Dan Neil’s Rolls Royce Ghost review from “The Car Show.” I worked on that show, and that piece was really good. Up against SENNA? “Hey Bill, you playing in the company softball tournament? We should do pretty w…why are the fucking Yankees putting on name tags?” I’m sure Dan understands. We were lucky enough to interview the director, Asif Kapadia, including footage from the film. Make the jump to watch.

Even if you don’t like racing, it’s an incredibly well-made documentary. I watch a lot of documentaries but this film transcends them. Granted, most of those have an agenda or are trying to save the world. This isn’t that. This is 200MPH in the rain, late-braking in corner and muscling other cars out of the way. This guy drove like he was made of steel and had the devil chasing him. No one drives like this guy. Thanks to the skill, danger, drama and the incredible footage, it feels like you’re watching a brilliantly written fictional movie. But it’s not. It’s just a person’s life story, told perfectly. I know the difficulties the director faced making this movie. F1 footage is hard to get as was the Senna family’s permission. Congrats to Asif for his well-deserved success. I’m sure there’s more to come.

Check out this bonus video of Senna doing some aggressive heel-toe in an NSX, in loafers.

-Zack

Some of you might have seen that YouTube is developing a new channel called DRIVE. You can read the official press release below, but the short of it is it will be a one-stop shop for every kind of automotive content you could want: reviews, comparisons, after market shops, race coverage and interviews. Guess they noticed what people like you and me looked for online (well, not everything). Their goal is to provide a variety of the best automotive content possible.  And, being the nice, smart and generous people they are, they asked the TST team to produce a show called “TUNED” with Matt doubling as the host. With other hosts like Chris Harris (EVO), high-speed god Alex Roy and our own Matt, it should be very good.   Make the jump for a promo video, show description and official press release.

As the name “TUNED” implies, we will be focusing on modified vehicles. I say vehicles because we won’t be focusing only on the latest chip for an Evo or a Corvette with long-tube headers and some dope-rad-awesome-sicknassity HREs. We’re going outside the box to find the craziest things we can. One-offs, projects, the kinds of vehicles that say “suck it” to physics and solar panels alike.  You know those videos you see that make you think “What the fuck is that?!” ? That’s what we want to be filming. We have some seriously amazing stuff in the works and you’ll get an up-close look at it.

But the show won’t just be an excited and/or terrified Matt behind the wheel (although there will be plenty of that). We’re going to talk to the great minds behind the insanity. We want to know where the inspiration for these monsters of the road and dirt come from, and the expertise and problems it took to make them. Look for the first episode of “TUNED” in January. Hopefully you have as much fun watching it as we will making it. Happy New Year.

PRESS RELEASE

“Did you tell anyone we were coming here today?”

“I was just going to ask you that! And…..no, I didn’t. Did you?”

“No.”

We shared a long silence, both mentally flashing forward to a broken car, freezing temperatures and no food. We were 7,000 feet above sea level on the Wheeler Pass trail in Nevada. It was snowing, so the pointy rocks- which ranged in size from grenade to tool box- were becoming hidden from view. We were wearing jeans and hoodies. The closest thing to “supplies” were a tire repair kit, 2 half-full Monster Rehabs and stomachs full of Pahrump’s finest Subway. Popping a tire on this 2011 BMW X5 diesel would surely result in cannibalism, and Thad is bigger than me.

Let me back up.

The Optima Ultimate Streetcar Invitational was coming up. We couldn’t go to SEMA so we planned to meet Matt at the track in Pahrump the night before. Modern diesel cars had caught my interest during a shoot for The Car Show when Matt tried to drive 800-mile a Mercedes E350 Bluetec from Mexico to Oregon on one tank. I wanted to further explore new diesels, so I reached out to BMW. They had an 2011 X5d for us…in San Francisco.  Oh well. A diesel SUV made perfect sense to me on paper. Thrust and efficiency with lots of space and the ever-sought which I don’t care about high seating point? I bought my ticket.

 

 

I loved the original X5 and was happy to see BMW stayed close to the original design. It’s like an old band that’s been fine-tuned for a modern audience without losing their early sound. It still looks like an SUV (SAV in this case), with short over hangs and good ground clearance  (8.7″, same as a Jeep Grand Cherokee). Aside from a tiny badge on the side and a low red line on the tach, there’s nothing advertising it’s a special X5. I actually wish it were more obvious in the hope it would convert some people. But we wouldn’t want anyone to know our car uses that dirty, different fuel, would we?

 

Hidden behind that small badge is a 3.0-liter Inline-6. With 2 turbos it brings the gift of torques; 425 of them at 1,750RPM. It has to move 5,192 lbs with 265HP so 0-60 takes just under 7 seconds. But getting on the freeway it feels much faster. No one will complain. People equate torque with speed. For proof, drive my mom around. Just bring Xanax and ear plugs. Controlling it is a 6-speed automatic and despite lacking paddles it’s responsive enough I used the stick-controlled manual mode a lot to downshift, saving fuel and brake pads.

 

The interior is the BMW style we’re familiar with, this time done in soft leather with wood accents. It feels spacious and well-equipped; Luxurious without feeling like the off limits white living room at grandma’s. It’s perfect for a car the runs and rides as smooth as this. I was happy to see the iDrive has evolved from its original pond scum to functioning helper monkey. In the X5 I had no problem synching, adjusting or NAV-ing. Did I mention the stereo BUMMMPS?!  God damn it’s like a home theater system from Beats-By-Dre. I don’t seek out nice sound but I absolutely appreciate it and any audiophile will be quite content.

 

One of few complaints goes to the seats, which don’t have enough lower back support. It was like sleeping on a bed that’s barely too firm. In 2000 miles, I wasn’t uncomfortable but it wasn’t like home. For an example of what home feels like, sit in a Mercedes.

 

Our car also came with the optional Heads Up Display. That’s good, because the steering wheel blocks the speedo from 40-120mph. I’m 5’11” but unless I wanted to drive with the wheel up high and feel like an 8 year old the speedo might as well be gone. I guess in Germany you’re either going under 40 or over 120. Bastards. But without that issue I wouldn’t have spent so much time looking at the HUD, which was excellent. With NAV arrows, cruise control status and speed it’s the perfect tool on highways and helps in canyons at night too. Even if they fix the wheel issue I’ll use display.

 

Altogether I was reminded why BMWs are expensive, and it felt worth it. My introduction to the X5 came with a 5-hour drive down to Los Angeles, and despite my mom’s best efforts (she rode with me) I found a way to enjoy the car.

 

 

Jump forward a week, and it’s the Friday before Optima. The plan was to drive to Spring Mountain Motorsports Ranch to meet Matt. Thad had convinced me we should leave early and “explore Pahrump.” Bullshit. I knew what he was doing. When he first heard, “X5” he suggested “exploring” Wheeler Pass, a 24-mile off-road trail that runs from Pahrump, NV to a spot just north of Vegas. He’d mentioned it almost weekly.

 

(You see, Thad is a dreamer; brilliant yet sometimes disconnected from reality. He once asked if we could get a new car by telling the manufacturer we intended to break it, calling it a “durability test.” He was serious.)

 

(A quick spin of Wheeler Pass trail via helmet cam.)

 

I said no. “It says it’s safe for production vehicles!” he said, showing a picture of an FJ Cruiser, failing to recognize the difference in the cars. “You’re always ranting about how crossovers and whatever have no spine, right? Let’s find out.” He had a point. I didn’t want to take a car I didn’t own as nice as this off-road but I love a driving adventure of any kind. I’d spent too much of my youth exposing borrowed cars to the elements to ignore the fun in his idea. Together we’re like 10 year olds: One builds the ramp; the other rides his bike at it. Well, it is Nevada. It will just be a sunny dirt road surrounded by more sun and dirt.

 

We arrived in Pahrump at 10:30AM. “Let’s just check the road out, what else are we going to do?” I felt like a guy that agreed to go to a strip club but said I wouldn’t open my eyes and given the option between spending 8 hours in Pahrump or risking press access and death I choose the latter. We agreed if it got too hairy, we’d turn around.

 

Clouds. Hm. Wonder what they're for?

 

Wheeler starts as a fire road heading directly between two small mountains. The X5 handled this with flying colors. It felt completely attached to the road, even at 60MPH. A rocky hill several hundred feet tall presented itself. Torquey engine, AWD, let’s see what you got. Without knobby tires or locking diffs or some name referring to a desert (check out my new Sudanihari!) the X5 chugged up the hill. Wheel spin was there but it it confidently clawed up with surprising composure. The torque from the turbo-diesel made the car feel like a giant chair lift. 28MPG highway (observed), and now this? I am a fan.

 

We got out to look back down. Things look steeper from the top. Like the climb, the descent was drama-free. Hit the hill descent and it takes care of things while you steer. Taking your foot off the pedals while off-roading is the definition of counter-intuitive but it works incredibly well. We arrived safely at the bottom with a new confidence. This wasn’t just a traveling movie theater for kids or a booster seat. This thing was legit. With new confidence, we headed up the road.

 

Then it started snowing.

 

 

Thad was elated. “Snow! First snow of the year! How awesome is this!” I wasn’t. I like snow driving more than sex but this wasn’t even really a road. This was a 10-foot wide off-camber minefield and each mine was wearing the nametag of BMW’s press agent. Anyone who has driven a crowned road on ice knows where your car wants to slide. In this case that would be down the big mountain into the abyss known as “You fucking idiots.” Yay snow. Another element added to his idea. Yet, amazingly the tires didn’t even notice the snow. The car just, drove. We cautiously pressed on.

 

 

The road changed from road with light rocks to rocks with light road. A rock the size of a pomegranate seed once went between my tread and popped a tire; That thought haunted me the next 6 hours. I crept forward as slow as possible in order to put the minimal amount of force on the tires. Thad and I worked as a team, spotting obstacles and deciding the best path.

 

Our primary concern was clearance. Ground clearance is to rocks what bullets are to killing zombies; you can’t have too much. But between the AWD system, careful wheel placement and hill descent, the X5 was fine. It was practically asleep. Each passing mile encouraged us, yet I was expecting something impassable around each bend.

 

We set personal records for "Holy shit." usage that day.

 

Off-roading in the snow is a very cool experience. There’s a stillness around you, making you feel more alone. The road looked like cookies and cream ice cream; a white blanket dotted with the tips of brown icebergs. Off-roading usually involves sunny drives with the windows (or top) down. This was almost submarine-like. Using the parking cameras, sensors and side mirrors, we could see everything around us. I love you, electricity.

 

The summit finally came. 7,700 feet. Halfway. We were giddy with excitement. I thanked the car. This  quiet, fuel-efficient cruiser was as steady and bored as a Sherpa on a stair-master. The question was: turn around or continue? Foolishly, my parents let me read books like Into Thin Air and Call of the Wild. Would Jack London quit half way and turn his $50k luxury truck around? Hell no!

 

The snow fell harder, with bigger flakes. Ironically, the inside was as comfortable as a 4-star hotel. Seat warmers, soft leather, SPICE radio soft Jazz. 100 years ago people risked death on this road. Now we’re doing it in a car that treats your ass like an old Italian barber treats your face before a shave. Incredible. It was here we realized we hadn’t told anyone what we were doing. We had BMW’s SOS system if we needed it, but it was more a moment of realizing how stupid impulsive we can be.

 

 

Downhill brought the challenge of momentum. I want to reiterate the skill of descent mode. Snow, wet rocks, didn’t matter. This car can react faster than your foot. I only took over when 4MPH felt too fast for particularly nasty rocks or to stop and survey our next move. Snow? Rocks? X5 no care.

 

And then suddenly, the snow lightened up, the clouds dissipated, the rocks shrank. A fence, mud, tire tracks! We were out. We had gone 24 miles over a snowy, rocky mountain in a vehicle usually reserved for trips to Whole Foods and personal training sessions. We passed an F-150 and the driver’s face mimicked our thoughts, “The hell are these boys doin’ here?”

 

 

We had come here to find out if there was any “utility” left in the world. Crossovers are the new SUV, and I was convinced they were only as capable as a passenger car. But this 2011 BMW X5 is better than previous generations. I felt confident on highways, in canyons and over rocky, snow-covered gremlins. The 3.0 liter I-6 TT is just a phenomenal motor. It’s great everywhere. With all that torque I’d even say it’s fun. On cold days, upon startup it’s barely louder than a gas engine and only near idle. Thanks to smart people diesels are now clean, quiet and even more efficient. People worry about finding diesel, but 28MPG gives you a 600 mile range and that’s plenty of time to look. V-8 torque, 4-cylinder efficiency and inline-6 smoothness; It is the perfect engine for not only this kind of car, but plenty more. Ours was priced at almost $60,000, but I could easily do without options like the cameras and sunroof. For around $50,000, you get a car that can do anything people might think of, and do it well. Top to bottom, it’s a very good car.

 

No one will take their X5 where we did, nor should they, but I’m glad I did . I like knowing a car can handle more than I ever want to, like knowing how to throw a punch.

 

- Zack K

Last week a Ferrari 599 GTB spontaneously caught on fire. It didn’t quite melt itself (video after jump) like a dead vampire in From Dusk Til Dawn but it did catch on fucking fire. I’m sorry but WTF?  What year is it again? 2011? And cars are still catching on fire? And not just any cars, these are some of the best  and most expensive cars on the planet. A $7,000 Versa doesn’t catch on fire. The “smart” car doesn’t.  Even my  shitty ’95 Miata managed to drive 300 miles spitting oil out its CAS seal without turning me into Kosher rotisserie. So why are Ferraris and Lamborghinis bursting into flames? Make the jump for a buffet videos featuring exotics on fire. Maybe we can find a commonality?

One man got lucky, kinda. The Ferrari FF he was driving that caught fire wasn’t his yet; he was test-driving it. That should save some insurance trouble. Wish I could have seen the salesman’s reaction. “Oh, mi scuzzi senor. Thank god you had no hair to begin with. Si, it happens now and again. A Ferrari is like a beautiful, passionate woman who has severe bi-polar disorder. Some a day she just begs for more and a some day she hit you in the face with a rolling pin. Haha, yes you understand yes? What say we have espresso and talk about the 599? It’s molto reliable senor.” That guy went over to the Aston Martin dealer.

Or I hope he did. If he went to the Pepsi of Italian cars (Ferrari being Coke), he’d end up in a Lamborghini. Safe bet right? Audi owns them, so now there’s Germans in the factory making sure there’s no blots left over and nap time is no longer than two hours. Except for this little Gallardo fire in Norway.

I just don’t understand how a car ends up this way. With the insane amount of testing and development that goes into them, how can this situation not arise before production? How can having your car catch fucking on fire be part of normal wear and tear for Italian exotics? It’s fire! It’s no a CEL or door buzzer that’s stuck or bad NAV, it’s the hot red stuff that comes out of volcanoes. And even after Ferrari recalled the 458s, replaced those that burned and stopped using the adhesive arsonist that was causing the fires, one still burst into flames in Brazil. Perhaps it’s the price of driving a car that has been built to the limit of human ability. If this happens with 458s and Gallardos, what would happen if there was a “glitch” with a Veyron? It’ll probably explode and throw the Earth off-axis.

But, thanks to the handiness of YouTube and some calls to the FBI, I think I figured out the problem. See, the cars were being driven. Some were even being used to park, commute or get McDonald’s. Completely irresponsible.

I still want a Ferrari.

-Zack K

At the end of December, Ford will stop making the Ranger. It’s been around for decades, and was one of my favorite trucks, regardless of size. It did its job and wasn’t gigantic. And in pre-runner gear…mmmm. But it’s going away, the last one being sold to Orkin. I know, who cares.
But that means there’s an opening, maybe. Ford is already developing the next generation, and whether they call it the F-100 or Ranger, I don’t really care. What I like-sort of-is the next one might have a 1.6-liter turbo-charged engine. That motor is fairly boring, because it makes less than 200HP. But what if…they make a mini Raptor… We’ve been dreaming about this for a while. We want this. Talk about a fucking hooligan. The Raptor is fun, but it weighs 6,200lbs. It’s fun, but it’s big fun. You can’t really flick it around and you have to make sure the road or trail you’re on is wider than your average highway.

But imagine a Ranger-sized truck with Raptor shocks, lighter diffs of the same quality and the same awesome interior, chuck the 1.6-liter and put in either the EcoBoost twin-turbo V-6 from the F-150. It makes 365HP and 420 torques! More than enough to make this a fast, nimble and (probably) fairly efficient truck. It’d be awesome! Pre-runner in a can. Offer the 2.0L EcoTec – maybe with more aggressive tuning- for the diet option.. But the true Velociraptor was small-ish, nimble and fast. If you offer a Raptor-like truck that fits in traffic and gets 20+ MPG, and price it belowwww the big Raptor by a big amount, that would be the shit. It would be the super motard of trucks. Stuck in traffic? Cut across that park, or drive on the beach at 100MPH. It’s light. It would leave a mark like a baby deer.*

*Your results may vary. TST not responsible for arrests or damage done to baby Raptor by slow-moving children or organic apples thrown by fans of Earth.

-Zack

Here’s a good piece of consumer advice: You probably shouldn’t leave a bottle of acetylene, a chemical commonly used for welding, in a closed truck overnight. Acetylene is highly unstable and extraordinarily flammable, and, well, see the photo above for what can happen. FJCruiserForums user “SMK_SHO” learned this the hard way by, literally, blowing his truck up and is frankly very lucky to be alive. Here’s the story in his words:

So my time almost came to an end this morning… im very lucky to be alive.

First of all, GO HUG YOUR WIFE/HUBBY and tell them you love them.

i had an acetylene bottle in my truck, the valve was bumped so slightly and over night the truck filled with the gas. i noticed the smell, and opened the doors to air out the truck. i drove the truck out of the garage to get some more air movement. i went to roll the pass side window down and as soon as i touched the power windows. BAM. with me in the truck. i lost all hearing out of my right ear and got a scratch on the back of my head. all things considering, im alive.

so now ive got the question out to toyota about a 2012 TT. 125 to canada only, 15 in standard. i want a standard…

pictures tell 1000 words.

dont take any minutes or seconds you have for granted… it may be your last…

This would normally be the part of the post where I make fun of this guy for doing something so stupid, but I’m pretty sure his near-death experience and destroyed truck are painful enough and he’s learned his lesson.

Source: FJ Cruiser Forum

Shit, I spelled "tweet" wrong when I ran that red light.

MINI’s new Connected iPhone App is the worst idea in automobiles since the PT Cruiser was offered with feaux wood paneling. Actually it’s worse than that, because that won’t cause thousands of accidents and perpetuate the instant gratification, communication and puppy-dog neediness the flood of social media is creating. This will. Even worse, I saw it coming, and I bet within two years every car will have it.  Read on for figures showing why this idea is so bad, and more ranting.

The big concern with cell phones has been the oh-so-scary demon known as “distracted driving.” Distracted driving (of course) means talking on the phone and texting, but it also includes, eating, drinking, changing radio stations (mp3s, same thing), iPods and even just talking to passengers. It’s great for the CA CHP. They’ve written 283,000 tickets for use of handheld cell phones (as of mid-September 2010). They made buckets of money, sure, but they probably did prevent a lot of accidents.

When I had an old clam-shell phone I could text with one hand without looking, and I did. But with a smartphone with a touch screen, I don’t. It takes my eyes off the road for way too long. So the MINI system seems like the way to have your cake and eat it too, right? Some hot British woman reads your texts and tweets, you stay connected to everything and your eyes stay on the road. Awesome. Except the distraction isn’t from holding a phone to your ear, it’s your brain simply paying attention to someone else. Here’s the definition copied from the DMV’s page:

I laughed pretty hard at number 3. I don’t know how they expect you to drive without looking outside the vehicle, but that’s the DMV; brilliant people. If the NHTSA says simply looking around, or reading (“Wait, is this the Facebook menu or the twitter one…”) how the fuck does anyone think it’s ok for me or you to be driving while trying to come up with a clever tweet, or listen to someone’s inane Facebook status? It’s highly likely whatever it says will have zero effect on your life for longer than 3 seconds and will be forgotten within moments.

“Oh wow! Now I can keep track of Stacy’s level of happiness at work! And I can hear about how big my sister’s new son’s shit was! Oh wow, Zack just made a stupid joke comparing a car to the perineum! Lemme just Google that while I get onto the 405…”

You’re telling me that won’t distract people? How often have you been focused on something  (computer, TV, driving, inner thoughts, that woman’s rack,etc) and someone is trying to talk to you. 10 seconds later you realize they’re talking and say, “Sorry, what’d you say?” It’s not because you were reading, or typing, or talking, but because you were processing information and stimuli. Your brain was using it’s power to analyze a subject, instead of listening.

This is why studies have shown a hands-free device does little to help a driver focus compared to holding a phone to their ear:

Neuroscientist Marcel Just, director of the Center for Cognitive Brain Imaging at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, agrees. Just studied 29 volunteers who used a driving simulator while inside an MRI brain scanner. The volunteers steered a car along a virtual winding road undisturbed or while deciding whether a sentence they heard was true or false.

Listening while driving led to a “significant deterioration in driving accuracy,” Just and his co-authors write in the latest issue of the journal Brain Research. The drivers hit the guardrail and veered out of the center of the lane more often while listening.

In the listening situation, MRI brain scans found a 37% decrease in parietal lobe activity. The parietal lobe is associated with spatial processing, so it is critical for navigation. Activity also decreased in the occipital lobe, which processes visual information.

Apply that to your average driver and the result is going to be bad. Apply it to your average twitter/Facebook junkie (people that would stare at their phone while skydiving if they could) and you have more accidents than an Asian girl’s sweet 16 party Danica Patrick after 3 cups of Jesus juice. The people that have to have these updates are probably bad drivers already. This will easily undo any accident prevention. I understand we want to be connected, and in many aspects of life technology has been priceless (Iranian protest, efficiency, porn). But this is a place where we need to think ahead about what we put in cars. You can’t simultaneously complain about distractions and then put this in. It’s a bad fucking idea.

Besides, MINIs are supposed to be driver’s cars, not a social network wi-fi hot-spot.

“This….this is wrong.” – Dark Knight

Apparently the people at Smart think they know America. We won’t buy their tiny, slow, city car because our cities are as cramped as Europe and there’s a million other cars that get similar gas mileage and don’t have the cargo capacity of a glove box. I’m also personally terrified of getting in an accident in one. I imagine it’s like dropping a snow globe on  bed; the shell is perfectly fine but everything inside is bouncing and swirling for days.

So Smart has the answer.  A “truck” version of their “car.”  Yes! Americans love trucks. They ranch, and hunt, and haul stuff, right? So what if we give the Smart a truck bed? They won’t notice it’s too small to hold anything bigger than groceries, which will be stolen from the exposed bed at the first stoplight.  And the fact that in a rear-end collision an SUV will climb inside that bed and maul the driver like a hungry lion into a topless Land Rover. And sure, it’ll be slower than a Prius at a tractor pull but c’mon! Truck!

It’s not a truck. To call it so is blasphemy. This is what an F-150 would leave behind if it ate a super burrito.  It’s a tiny car that has the character of an Amigo without the practicality. It’s a Suzuki Samurai without any of the off-road capability or the generous cargo space. It’s a Smart car with half a room. It’s “tool kit” will be used by absolutely 0 of it’s customers (customer?) because the only people that would buy this car would stare at a screw driver with the bewilderment of a puppy looking at an MRI machine. Smart cars are just not right for America. They’re up against cars like the Focus, Mazda 2, Civic, Fit, etc etc. The small-car segment is thriving here, but the attempt at micro cars isn’t. To paraphrase Field of Dreams, if they build it, we will laugh. Make a Smart truck, SUV, canoe, whatever. It’s just not working here. If this is a truck, then I’m a truck.

-Zack K

There is rarely enough time in one of our 7-minute films to say everything that needs to be said about a car. You get in the moment, you forget things here and there, and you go home at the end of the day wishing you had said this or that. Well, in between filming and writing for The Smoking Tire, I review cars for other publications as well, which gives me an opportunity to write a completely different take on the same cars we film with. Introducing Road Lanes Magazine, a new online automotive magazine that you can download for free and view offline as well as online. In last month’s issue, I reviewed the Dodge Durango and Corvette ZR1. This month, check out the new issue of Road Lanes for my reviews of the Mercedes CLS63 AMG and BMW X6M.

So as not to disappoint our loyal fans here at The Smoking Tire, we have also made films with the Corvette ZR1 and BMW X6M, which you will see on the site and our various video outlets soon. Until then, click here to see the latest issue of Road Lanes!

Drifting is one of those things that, like golf, bull riding, and porn, professionals make look very easy. It’s also something that many drivers claim to do well, when in fact, they do not. Since Matt is not a professional racing driver, he is more than willing to admit that he doesn’t have the first clue how to drift a car properly. But he’s also the first to admit that when you don’t know something, you get a professional to teach you, and you simply listen and try to be a good student.

The kind folks at the Bob Bondurant School of High Performance Driving in Arizona offered The Smoking Tire the use of their facility and vehicles for a day of private drifting lessons from instructor Corey Hosford, who will be starting his Formula Drift career this coming April at Long Beach in his K-Sport Nissan 350Z. Can Matt start from nothing and become a drifter in just one day? Hit the jump to find out.

When Sebastian Thrun was 18 years old, he lost his best friend Harold in a car accident. From then he vowed to find a way to prevent everyone from suffering a tragedy like this. Accidents are 100% human error, unless you drive a Prius of course (wink). We spend an average of 52 minutes a day in traffic, which is 4 billion hours nationwide.

Thrun hopes to end that. Enter the Google Autonomous car. It’s driven 140,000 miles on freeways, mountain roads and even San Francisco’s super-twisty Lombard street. Sebastian spoke at the TED conference in March, and Huffington post re-posted it as one of their 18 great ideas of 2011. We missed this video, and thought you folks might enjoy it. Especially the Auto-X ride. A driver-less stunt car?! Cool! At least until the Stunt Drivers Union hears about it.Click to watch the video. It’s truly a glimpse of the future.

Seriously impressive sensor mapping.

It’s probably beyond our lifetime to reach that iRobot/Judge Dredd/EveryFuturisticMovieEver point of self-driving cars zipping through traffic while the occupants converse, nap or fight off killer robots, but it will happen.  But I won’t feel comfortable in one until every car has the software to know where every other car is. I’m sure that Prius is awesome, but I don’t know if I trust it to see the 1984 VW pickup with 4 lawn mowers in it that is about to miss that red light due to faulty brakes. If it can I will happily be chauffeured around by Intel while I waste time entertaining write for you good people.
The only thing I don’t like about Thrun, is his future thinking how silly it is humans drove cars. Because my kids are going to kick them in the nuts for such blasphemy.

- Zack k

Using a wash-it-yourself car wash isn’t exactly rocket science. Insert coins, then use power washing hose to soap up the car and scrub it down with the brush before rinsing it off. Sounds easy right? For people with, you know, actual functioning brains, yes. For these guys, not so much. One guy loses control of the power washer and it propels itself about the wash bay, attacking these hapless saps about the head and ankles, until they simply run away. And for some reason, they posted this video? Fortunately their Wrangler makes it through unscathed, but for tips on how not to wash your car, hit the jump.

Two Guys vs. A Car Wash Spray Hose

Above is the Cadillac concept called the 2009 Cadillac Converj concept but it will soon be known as the grass-friendly ELR Coupe. It would use the same platform as the Chevy Volt, so it would be a hybrid that gets from 40 to 1,000,000 MPG. Yes, I am exaggerating but if you never drove over 40 miles I guess it’s mathematically possible. Cadillac has made great strides the past few years of making cars that drive on par with the European imports we all praised so highly back in the 90s (and still do today). Building a hybrid isn’t just a way to keep with the times and stay competitive, if there’s one thing GM is known for it’s platform sharing. Why else would they have what felt like 349 slight variations of the same damn car for so many years? I’m looking at you, Pontiac, GMC and Saturn, as examples of redundancy. Well in this case it’s a good thing. Electric power and luxury cars go together. Rich people like smooth things. Suede, cream, mousse, see? But what about a diesel Cadillac? Read on ….
It makes perfect sense. It may just be because Cadillac’s luxury rivals- Audi, Mercedes and BMW- are bringing the diesel revolution to America. After all, VP of Marketing for Cadillac Don Butler [regarding a diesel power train] stated,

“We absolutely mean it when we say we aim to compete with the best of the best without compromises. And if that means making the right powertrain choices, then those are the choices we will have to make”

So from his end it’s to stay competitive, but I say why not do it just to do it? I was lucky enough to go with Matt on the 1,600 mile journey from the border of Mexico to Oregon (and back) for a segment in episode 13 of “The Car Show.” We drove in  Mercedes’ great mid-size diesel, the E350 Bluetech. Huge torque (402), incredible MPG (38+) and quieter than Herman Cain’s wife, it is the perfect power train for a luxury car.

Look, I love horsepower, speed, burnouts, the whole bit. I recently spent a straight hour giggling out loud (with a passenger in the car) behind the wheel of a very fun AMG. BUT, unless you are like me- an impulsive man-child that thinks the world could benefit from more tire smoke- you DO NOT NEED A V-8. I’m talking to the dentists, lawyers, bored rich house wives charity planners and anyone else driving a “regular” V-8 powered luxury car. People like this like V-8s because it gives them a feeling of power. They get that torquey oomph in the back that shows them where their money went. And there’s probably some companies that only offer certain trim levels with a bigger engine. (I valeted an S4 convertible in college and when I said, “Nice car!” the young co-ed owner said, “Yeah. I got it because I liked the leather.” Die.)

But these cars (and drivers) would be even better with a diesel. I’m willing to bet you could blindfold a lot of these people, and they wouldn’t be able to feel the difference between a 550 Benz and a 350 diesel. Bankers over 60 years old probably aren’t taking their S550 to 6500RPM, and wouldn’t complain “The power seems to drop above 80 MPH.” And, for the record, the E350 will go about 135 MPH. More than enough for any of the shrieking retards on television we call “house wives.”

Cadillac should build a diesel, not consider building one. Diesel suits luxury brands, the technology might be cheaper than the Volt’s, making Cadillac more competitive with ze Big Threin (that probably isn’t German for “3″) and there’s no battery fires to worry about. I think you could put prospective buyers in a CTS diesel, not tell them it’s an oil-burner, and after a test-drive their ideas of what a diesel car is will be changed forever. You get torque, you get quiet, and you get MPG. Power, peace and quiet, and saving money. What more could a wealthy person ask for?

- Zack K

This is the newest car to be added to the TST Dream Garage. For those of you new to the game, we’re slowly compiling a list of all the cars we’d buy if we had money.  I mean so much money you’d buy one of those stupid, giant yachts that Paul Allen used to substitute his penis. If it’s a vehicle, we can put it on the wish list for the day we all simultaneously win every lottery in the US at once. And being added to that ever-expanding garage in the sky (Skycake made daily) is Vaughn Gittin Jr’s own, 1969 Need For Speed Mustang RTR-X. I ****ing love this car.

This car came out long ago, and it’s been on a tour since it debuted at SEMA in 2010. So you’ve probably seen it, heard of it or read about it. Nothing new. I’d read about it when it came out and thought it was awesome. But that didn’t prepare me for what I’d think when I saw it at Formula D this year at Irwindale. I rounded the corner  and stopped. (Earmuffs kids.) “Hoooo shit.” Make the jump to read my love story, and watch Gittin destroy some tires.

I love this car. I really truly do. Not in the way I love most of the fun power-laden cars that stop off at the office each week. I saw it in person and thought, “This is a car I dream to own. If I ever have the means, I will ask Mr. Gittin Jr permission to replicate it, using the same shops he did. Call me unoriginal, call it a rip-off.  I will care not. Not one bit.”It has a 480HP 5.0L Coyote motor, with some of the sickest, cleanest velocity stacks around. It’s a muscle car, but it has in-board suspension. Know what else has that? Le Mans prototype cars, or the Aston Martin One-77. It has sick diamond-pattern seats, awesome 5-spoke Work Meister wheels. And they’re green. And that is f*cking rock.

Besides all the good parts, power and speed (187MPH!) I love this car is because it combines two things that are very dear to me: Muscle cars and driving. Hot rods are what got me into cars. I used to go to tons of shows as a kid, worked on them before I could drive and owned a muscle car in high school. There’s a feeling they evoke that I haven’t found in other cars. It’s a feeling of power, confidence, and a slightly sinister-but-playful smile. It’s brawny and loud. Mothers look at you like you’ll turn their children into goblins. They’re cars for simply playing.

But they drove like shit. My car didn’t stop, it scraped it’s tires whenever it was forced to turn (mountain roads have never felt so exciting at 22MPH) and it was as nimble as a beached submarine. And when I would drive my friends’ MK1 VW Rabbit, complete with a 14-point cage and full track setup, I realized I was missing something essential. I liked turning. Stopping is a good thing. And if you’ve seen my silly audition for Octane Academy, you will know I have a clinical addiction to sliding cars. Give me any car on a slippery surface and I’m like Cartman at Klan rally buffet.

The RTR-X takes both of these things, essential elements to my very existence, and combines them. It’s a yin and yang of old and new, silly green wheels with a stealthy paint job. A racy digital cluster but with diamond pattern Alcantara. I love old cars and new cars, and this is the best combination of both I have ever seen. And the fact that it is capable of pro-level drifting is the final piece in the perfect car puzzle. I get my muscle car fix, my new technology fix, and my silly dorifto fix. This car is my definition of a good time. That’s all it was made for, and it pushes every button: childish, nostalgic,  irresponsible, adrenaline-seeking. It’s one of the coolest cars I’ve ever seen, it’s one of the best-looking one-offs I’ve seen, and god damn I bet it drives like m*********ing perfection. It’s sick, it’s nasty, it’s ridiculous and it can drive. That’s why it’s in the TST Dream Garage, and that’s why I would immediately steal it and never come back.

Bravo to Vaughn and NFS and all the guys that put this together. The concept was amazing, the art direction is so cool, and the detailed execution is incredible. And thanks to Hot Rod Magazine for filming this awesome video, and for teaching an 11 year old Zack how to box the frame of a  ’34 Ford. Not that I used them.

-Zack K

The Koenigsegg Agera R is very very very fast. No, you don’t understand. It’s really fast. In the video it goes from 0, to 300KMH (186MPH), and back to 0 in… 21.9 seconds. Now, being the internet readers you are, like me you probably have no frame of reference of how fast that really is. For comparison, we have the times of some cars  going from 0 to 300KMH. Make the jump to read and watch this ridiculous thing that I love so much.  

Koenigsegg CCX: 21.9
SLR 722: 29.6
Murci LP 640: 31.5
911 GT2: 36.2
Alpina B6 S: 41.5
Z06: 44.6

No back to 0, no slowing down, nothing. Just from a stop to 300km/h. As you can see, the old Koenigsegg- you know the one, with the twin-supercharged V-8 making 806HP?- That car went to 300kmh in 21.9 seconds, well ahead of the also incredible GT2, Murci and SLR. A Bugatti Veyron, the benchmark of high-priced space ships, takes 19.8 seconds to hit 300kmH, and 23.8s to reach 320km/H. In the real world, all of those cars are crazy crazy fast. All they are doing is accelerating to 186MPH.

THAT is how  incredible this car is. Somehow, in defiance of physics and the Easter bunny, the new Agera R was able to reach 186MPH, and go back to a complete stop, in the same amount of time it takes it’s sibling to reach 186. Want to know how long it takes the R to go from 0-300 KMH? 14.5 seconds. That’s how long it takes a new Honda Accord V6 to reach 98MPH. A car that boring normal people call “quick.”  A Corvette ZR1, which is the fastest car I’ve ever driven, takes 15.9 seconds to reach 150MPH, and around 33 seconds to reach 186 (300kmH). I thought that car was insane but I have had to edit the definition of insanity in my brain. Compared to the Agera, the ZR1 is Catholic nun on Valium. Wait,what?! What the hell is going on?!

I cannot wrap my head around the abilities of the Agera R. This is like saying to Hussein Bolt,

“Ok Mr. Bolt, you are going to run this 100 yard dash, k? Start here, cross that line, that’s it. What am I going to do? Oh, well in the same amount of time it takes your corpulent snail ass to run that little 100 yards, I’m going to run to that line, stop on it, have a sandwich, maybe hit up YouPorn, and then run back to this starting line. Ready?”

That is insanely fast. How? Why? WTF is in that car? Oh, that’s right, it’s has a 5.0 Liter V-8 with two turbos, so it makes 940HP. Oh wait, I forgot, you can put E-85 bio ethanol in it, and it makes 1,115HP. And yet it’s still RWD! What the **** gets the power to the ground? Are the tires made of the toes of millions of geckos? Because I’m ok with that.  If Sarah McLaughlin complains direct her calls to me. I have an excellent collection of Panda bear erotica I’d like to discuss with her. Oh, and if you watch the video, you can see two other things: 1. If you watch the driver turn around, it’s clear the steering radius of this car is very tight. So drive-ability won’t be an issue. 2. The test driver isn’t wearing a helmet, fire suit and 2 HANS devices while doing multiple 200MPH runs. Dear police stations, high speed travel is safe. See video below.

I just can’t get over the physical abilities of cars right now. People referred to the muscle car era as the golden age of cars, never to be seen again. Wrong. This is the golden age. Companies realize people want a cars that can go, stop and turn with the quickness and they are in an arms race the US Army should be jealous of. This is the best cars have ever been, and I shake my head and stare in awe when I think of where they will go from here. Now, whose grandma can I give oral treats to for $2 Million?

We take a lot of road trips, and see a lot of strange stuff on the highway, but with the exception of someone trying to sell us weed from another car, this has to be the best bonus video we’ve ever filmed. I don’t know what these two dogs love more: the Ford F250 or each other. You be the judge. Video after the jump.

Click for the video.

You gotta love Italians. Only they would commission an artist to create an film to celebrate how super terrific awesome they did at building a super incredible car. Ferrari loves their 458 Spider so much they wanted to give it a present. It’s  kaleidoscopic film edited in 3D, by Marco Brambilla. And what car doesn’t like a good 3D kaleidoscope movie.

It’s actually damn amazing. I’m impressed someone can edit a bunch of F1 footage into that. It’s abstract sensory overload with race cars. Though the genre of “car art” is a gallery in which many, many, many pieces of shit have been hung, but this is a seriously impressive piece of video work. Click to watch it.

The film is called RPM. It’s a crazy 3d depiction of an F1 race through the eye of a kaleidoscope. It was filmed over the course of several months at the Formula One Grand Prix at Monza. Brambilla wanted viewers to feel constantly on edge, driving forward, accelerating towards something yet never reach it. And it worked, on me at least. The entire time I felt like I was going faster and faster, around corners,getting louder, up and down… I remember distinctly thinking Ok, I feel like this is going somewhere big and crazy. I confess, it does remind me a little bit of the brainwashing from A Clockwork Orange. Perhaps this is the video you show to someone you’ve strapped down with their eyes stuck open on a caffeine IV drip, all because they said baseball is just as difficult as F1.

http://www.nowness.com/day/2011/11/29/1747/art-basel-miami–marco-brambilla

We at The Smoking Tire hope everyone had a happy and fattening Thanksgiving, and didn’t get caught up in either the “Black Friday” or “Cyber Monday” shitstorm of American consumerism. I know that not a single member of the TST crew went shopping either of those days. However, the holidays are upon us, and we’ve got the ultimate car video junkie’s perfect gift right here.

The DVD series Super Speeders is a project that our old pal Rob has been making since 2005, and Matt and Tom have been working with him on it since 2007. Well over the summer, Matt and Tom went to San Francisco to help Rob film the newest installment in the series, Super Speeders 6: Flat Out. We won’t tell you exactly what we did in San Fran, but trust me, it involves fires, crashes, ghost-riding the whip, and all sorts of vehicular mayhem. On top of that, Rob went to Italy to drive the Stelvio Pass, check out the new Pagani Huyara, and top out a Lamborghini Aventador. Plus, all the best cop moments from the last Bullrun Rally! And we’ve got an exclusive deal on the entire video series for loyal fans of The Smoking Tire. But first, hit the jump to see the trailer for Flat Out.

Now, if you think that was awesome (I know we do), this is where it gets even better: When you order from SuperSpeeders.com, use the following links to get exclusive deals for fans of The Smoking Tire

TST11 – Free shipping on any order

TST15 – Save $15 on any order over $75

And if you want a copy signed by Matt and Rob, Email Rob and we can arrange it.

Happy holidays from The Smoking Tire!

This is the scariest drag racing mishap I’ve seen in a while. Erik Peterson is at the Vegas drag strip, driving a 1969 Pontiac Firebird. Soon after he launches, he gets squirrel-y and hits the wall. This knocks Erik unconscious and breaks the brake master cylinder loose, and it falls, pulling the throttle cable with it. Having the throttle stick WOT in a very powerful car car would be terrifying. I had the throttle stick at WOT in my old ’65 Pontiac. Turns out topping out a Le Mans with a 40-year old 2-barrel carb is a bad idea. I know, I’m surprised too. Luckily the highway was empty, and there were no turns before I turned the ignition key. The car sputtered, died and coasted and I bought a new carb the next day. Not in this case. Click to see the luckiest, most amazing drag racing accident I’ve seen in a long time.

In the Firebird, the throttle is stuck and the car is completely, 100% out of control. After hitting the other wall it starts a slow rotation, apparently the line lock had also stuck. Thank (insert name here) it did. The car sits there, billowing smoke at full bore, aimed at the crowd and trees, like a bull stomping its hoofs across the arena but never charging. Erik is unknowingly creating one of the coolest brake stands ever, and making track worker soil themselves. I would have. It looks like Mad Max has returned and is letting the crowd know he’s really mad at them. (Possibly for saying bad things about Waterworld) That’s scary enough, but this is a runaway car with many hundreds of horsepower that is built to accelerate massively. The luck of those parts sticking, and the car just sitting and roasting tires until it shut off is incredibly lucky.

And watching this video brought up a few thoughts of mine about drag racing safety. What could the officials have done? Shoot it with a  tranquilizer gun? It’s not a charging grizzly bear. I’m sure there’s more than a few drag racing fans with Conceal and Carry permits, but that’s not really fool-proof. Honestly, what could a track do in the admittedly rare situation a car turns around? Short of another driver pulling a Kevin Costner in Bodyguard and intentionally putting himself in the path of Erik’s car I can’t think of anything. I’m sure the odds of this happening are so slim regulations haven’t been necessary, but seeing it has to make you wonder. I joke a lot, but I’m glad Mr. Peterson is ok. I can’t imagine watching that video, having no recollection of the incident but knowing I was in the car.

But probably shouldn’t have used those Toyota Prius floormats.

- Zack K

I feel so betrayed. Since Lincoln introduced the MKS concept in 2006, it’s odd trademark “waterfall” grill has been the topic of many a joke. If you haven’t heard one, you can mad-lib it using the words “whale”, ‘baleen”, “krill” and
“butter face.” As in: The new front of that MKS is weird. It looks like that stuff whales use to strain water and catch krill, what’s that called…baleen! The interior is ok, and the profile isn’t bad, butter face…”

Jump forward a few years and many disappointed eyeballs later, and Lincoln says they’re bringing a redesign to the LA auto show. Yes! Alright boys let’s get back in the game. We had a rough start in ’06, that pass was a little weird, but it’s ok. We survived the recession, we can get the people back on our side. Ok Max (Lincoln’s head of design, Max Wolff) whattya got for us? Wait…that looks…I don’t mean to sound insulting, maybe my glasses are foggy, but that looks …..that looks the same Max. Make the jump to read on.

The redesign wasn’t only about the exterior; better power, efficiency, a sport setting and continuous dampening have improved the driving experience. But you’ll probably never experience those, because the grill is way too close to the old one. Sure the strainers have gotten smaller, enabling them to catch smaller insects than before (yay?), but looking at a timeline, calling it a redesign is like redesigning Lady Gaga’s meat dress by giving her a different purse. Let’s go to the video tape:

Here's the 2007 MKS concept. Ok, interesting, but it's just a concept so maybe the final car will look a bit better..

This is the 2011 MKS sedan.

Ok they went with a bold face, something to identify the brand which is important in the auto world. Sometimes it works (Aston, Ford) sometimes it doesn’t (Acura). But designers have the tough task of deciding what the public will like before the public knows they’ll like it. In fashion, they drive the market. They make products, sell them to the world as the new hot thing, and we (well, people that care about clothing) buy it. Lincoln made a move, crossed their fingers, and prayed but the result was a face that was a bit too bold. A gaping mouth flanked by small headlights. Works for jaguar, not so much here.

Fast forward to now and Lincoln promises a redesign. They get another at bat. What did Max draw?

The grills are thinner, smoothing the transition from grill to body and lights, but it still has the same shape and I think that’s the fundamental problem. You could fill that area with solid aluminum, diamonds or photo copies of Scarlet Johanssen but it still wouldn’t work. To be fair, Max Wolff may have only been given permission to change things within the grill or other binding parameters. But if he was, he wouldn’t have made this video, telling us about all the awesome “new” tools they use to make the car.

This video is more off-putting than the car itself, because unless you’re 8 years old or from a 3rd world country, using computers for design or having a meeting with a giant TV behind it seems like pretty standard procedure. TST is made out of a house, and even we have a big TV to watch footage and edit from. I watched this video and at the end thought, “Yea….so?” A TV? CAD design? No shit you use these to make things today. I’ll bet my pencil holder was designed with a CAD program. If Lincoln wants to grab new, younger customers they have to realize what those customers know. Young people in that tax bracket have seen a computer before. They’ve probably been to development meetings and had their projects up on big projectors. Don’t treat them like they’re fresh off a raft of packing peanuts from Cuba.

It’s not that Lincoln makes a bad car, Matt drove 1500 miles in an MKT, and even tried to convince his dad to buy one. It’s a good vehicle. I drove it as well, and thought the ride and drive-train were great. If you need to be chauffeured (the MKT is set to replace the Town Car for said chauffeuring) it flies under the radar of adoring fans or would-be assassins. And the AWD means it can shuttle you to Beaver Creek just as easily as LAX. But the grill redesign isn’t enough, and trying to excite your customers a fairly mundane video of old techniques is silly. The older buying crowd probably won’t care, and the new crowd will see right through it. I can’t tell Lincoln what to do, but I know it shouldn’t be this.

-Zack K

To quote my cousin’s husband, “This is the best 4 days for football of the year.” I couldn’t agree more, and I couldn’t be less bored. The hub-bub of Thanksgiving is filled with cooking, and quiet alcoholism fueled by passive aggressive familial jabs. On Thanksgivings there’s plenty to keep you busy, between defending your “career” choices, clothing and explaining why you’d rather work in a diamond mine that requires all employees be nude rather than do whatever it is half your family does.

It’s the day after, when your family is still around but nursing Pinot hangovers that it gets boring. Idle hands and what not. Thank god the slave-drivers at Autoblog never let their employees see light, and that is why we have this glorious Porsche rally footage from 2011. It’s a 22-minute IV drip of drifts, tarmac slides and un-wieghted off-camber grassy knolls. Turn the volume up, drown out that 4th quarter crap, and enjoy this oasis of Gt3 doing what they do best: driving. Make the jump, and don’t forget to turn your speakers on.

- Zack K

We all know how crappy diesel cars used to be. Heavy, smoky, smelly, it was like driving a mob boss from 1973. But not anymore. Now they’re like hanging out with a 5 year old that has a fructose drip duct taped to his jugular. They will go all day, or week, or month (maybe) without refueling. Last month I drove about 3000 miles in two diesel cars and couldn’t believe the MPG. I, like most of America, was fairly unfamiliar with diesel cars. But my experience in a Mercedes E350 and then an X5 (review coming) have been filled with torque, efficiency and silence.

Now, as a person who would prefer to carve corners and play dorifto all day then stare at my MPG meter (Look babe, 37.2! High five!) I’m closely watching to see when sports cars will start getting the big d. Wait, that didn’t sound right. You know what I meant. According to some important people at Volkswagen’s R-performance brand, it won’t be long. Make the jump to read more about my dreams of highly efficient hoonery, and watch Matt top out a VW  Touareg TDI.

Ulrich Riestenpatt gt. Richter (I know, holy name Batman), Volkswagen’s Executive Director for their “R” program recently said some very sweet words to Autoblog,  “The future is diesel and all-wheel-drive.” I like these words because it combines one of my all-time favorite drive-trains (AWD) with my newest favorite powerplant (diesel).Imagine a 4-door GTI with a diesel power-train making several hundred torques, fitted with AWD. Is there a better vehicle for daily driving? Rain, snow, ice, whatever with some good tires it’ll make mince meat of it. Add the turbo diesel (tunable) and AWD and you have the perfect car for trips to the mountains. Daily drivers in Colorado, this is your whip of choice.

Even if you don’t live somewhere snowy, AWD is popping up everywhere because people like the added stability and versatility. Safe for families, awesome for track days. And thanks to higher MPG, you don’t have to choose between performance and efficiency. I won’t tell you a diesel GTI-R will beat an EVO around a track, but if it was decently fast and didn’t plow in corners I think you’d see a lot more oil-burners out there.
And it probably will be pretty nimble, because VW also said they’re focusing on lighter cars as a method of boosting efficiency. “You can get the same efficiency [as a hybrid] by dropping 100 kilos.” Let’s do it! Give me an AWD Golf, 4 doors, more than 300 torques and I will 4-wheel drift past SUVs up to Keystone emitting little more than silence. As an example of the fun to be had in the future, here’s Matt driving a Touareg TDI on a lake bed.

- Zack K

http://blip.tv/thesmokingtire/volkswagen-touareg-tdi-top-speed-dry-lake-test-5725060

God Bless the Internet. Without it, I wouldn’t have access to hours of car news, be able to rapidly calculate torque figures, price conversions and I would still be wondering if anyone had ever thought of  having a superhero orgy, set at the Taj Mahal (someone did). And I also wouldn’t be able to see every single thing Jeremy Clarkson has ever written, starred in or hosted. “Illegal” Internet downloading convinced the BBC there just might be a small population of people in the USA that want to watch Top Gear (You’re welcome). And now it brings us a great clip from Clarkson’s newest holiday DVD, Powered Up. Make the jump to watch.

Every year Jeremy Clarkson makes a DVD that serves to placate us beasts the subsist on Top Gear. They’re just a smorgasbord of tire smoke, super cars and comparison that couldn’t find room on the TG season schedule. He does a few car comparisons in this DVD (Ferrari FF, 458, MP4-12C), but the best was saved for last: his favorite car of the year. Not the best car of the year, his favorite. It’s the BMW 1M, and it happens to be our favorite car of this year as well. We had a blast in the CTS-V. The ZR1 is the perfect tool for race tracks and scaring people camping in tunnels, but for sheer fun factor, its the 1M all the way. Performance, exclusivity and value are all there, but all we had to do is measure the smiles on our faces after each person drove it. It compels you to apex corners, it begs for downshifts and it’s as capable at high speed mile consumption as it is darting through corners. It’s just fantastic.

Watch Clarkson chuck the little M that could around, then check out our review of the 1M.

- Zack K

You know the day dreams you have when you’re stuck in traffic? Not the ones about murdering the entire population in front of you with bazookas (No? Just me?) or driving over them in a monster truck. The ones where you want to drive 140MPH down the shoulder, or wish you have a Spec B rally car to drive down that cushy, grassy median, shooting fireballs of angry contempt and pity at the sorry souls stuck in traffic. Or perhaps on the sidewalk. Fuck those pedestrians, they could use an agility test. Exercise lowers cholesterol. Make the jump for two videos of Russians finding creative solutions to traffic.

That’s apparently the attitude in Russia. These drivers use some interesting ideas to skip ahead of a big traffic jam.  These guys care so little about any laws that exist, the first “technique” they apply is driving behind a trolley car. That’s the opening move, and it just gets better. As Thad put, this is the best example of the “I don’t give a fucks.” They’re either diplomats, officers or just “connected.” Not Vonage connected, drugs, murder and bribery connected.

I love the complete disinterest by the people on the sidewalk. One woman doesn’t even break stride as the car comes within inches of her on the sidewalk. She just does the crowded-bar-shimmy and slides right past. No one yells, waves a “WTF?”, no one even looks at the drivers. Hm. Methinks they know the people in these cars don’t appreciate driving crtique. And if you thought the reverse move was ballsy in the first video, the second video will show you it’s not that original an idea. Maybe communism isn’t so bad…

- Zack K

Do you have trouble fitting strippers into your busy lifestyle? Have you always thought the one thing missing from camping was the dancing form only fatherly neglect and a handsy uncle can inspire? No more! Introducing, the Platinum Stage Hitch Pole. Take the strip club with you! Made of sturdy stainless steel or classy brass, the Platiinum Stage Hitch Pole has a 3′ x 3′ platform and a whopping 7 feet of usable pole!  The stainless steel is easily cleaned, allowing multiple performers to perform Olympic-caliber clitoral hangs without sharing the Hanta virus. The 200lb weight limit prevents those 10AM  “C team” applicants from crashing your party.

Boring commute? Not anymore! Your rear-view will only be filled the sight of a beautiful girl humanoid swinging her (adams apple…uh oh) hips to the sound of tire  noise. Own a strip club and want to find out if that new 18.00001 year old is committed to the cause? See how she does at 80 MPH (do not attempt) with truck horns blaring. IF she’s still there when you get back, you know you found a truly damaged soul willing to do anything for approval and sticky bills  winner. And let’s not forget, stripping is now an acceptable form of exercise! It’s the gym that comes with you! Call today! Make the jump for the video and special features!

*Stripper not included. Individual results may vary. The allure of the Platinum Stage Hitch Poles is not limited to attractive women. We are not responsible for ocular damage resulting from any “aesthetically unqualified” persons dancing on said pole. Possible side effects of purchase can include but are not limited to: losing $500, FUPA-sightings, nightmares, lost valuables, co-signing a lease with that stupid skank Vikki,  vehicular-hepatitis, shame, blue balls, glitter poisoning, ODing on Red Bull, deportation, family exile, whorish daughters, having shit stolen by hoes and Affliction-wearing. Do not allow  women to dance behind your truck on the freeway.

This gave me a laugh, but these will probably sell like hot cakes. For only $500 you can have the ultimate accessory in the flat-billed hat clan. I went to the REMIX/Drift event at Irwindale last year, and the biggest attraction was the stripper pole mounted on the back of a short semi. Surrounded by what I call The Un-Fuckables (morbidly obese, pre-adolescents, auto journalists and fathers of questionable taste) several women, sporting more makeup and self-inflicted scars than a Twilight autograph line hyper-gyrated to NOS-fed techno. To be able to recreate that scene for only $500 is way too tempting for way too many people. Pismo, Havasu, Daytona, these will be the new habitats where the Platinum Stage trees will take root and flourish. For a fun game, count the number of these that go untouched, especially by anything over a 6. My guess is most of them will be eligible for a never-touched refund.

- Zack k

How does a car gets its sound? Used to be you built a big box of metal that burnt gasoline, then screwed some metal tubing to it and? Voila. Sound. I’m sure there was a time before exhaust systems were treated like the latest pop teensation who just needs a little auto-tune and a push-up bra to be the next billion dollar barely-legal sex object “musician”, when man would bolt a pipe to an engine and say, “Gee, that sounds swell!”

The BBC has a new special, called “How to Build a Super Car.” In part 2, they talk about how a super car gets its sound. They did a study and sound contributes 50% of a car’s sporty feeling. That means, sound accounts for-at the most-as much of the impression as performance. More likely engine, looks, interior and handling are all lumped together. I find it fascinating that all those critical components of greatness are only equal to screaming dinosaurs flying out of some tin pips. So as cool as those carbon brakes are and as awesome as center-locking hubs are, half of your attraction to a car is dictated by how it sounds. Thank god it’s not like that for women, or we’d all have a long past of opera singing mopeds.Make the jump to read about the tuning, and watch the video.

Moving on from offending future dates, the BBC chose (bets?) to follow the sound development of the McLaren MP4-12C, an ironic subject considering the numerous complaints of the new McLaren’s lack of audible stimulation. Journalists commented so much that McLaren did a last-minute sound adjustment before delivering them to customers. In the video acoustic technician Matt Maunder says McLaren wanted it to sound really extreme. So did I. So did everyone. So why doesn’t it?

Your hands will probably go up in the air when the BBC lets you hear some of the options they had at their disposal. Matt also refers to one of their options as “The Kanye West. Very produced. I quite like that one.” I prefer the one he refers to as  ” a dizzy rascal.” It’s a super car, it should sound like a “dizzy rascal.” Watch the end when Lewis Hamilton asks Jenson Button how he feels about the sound. The McLaren MP4-12c has various settings which change the sound, but I still get the sense Lewis was expecting more of the standard sound.

Click here  to go to the video, at BBC.com

-Zack K

"You're nothin' without me."

“”For Mustang fans, you’re welcome. Clearly the Camaro has encouraged Ford to throw everything they can at us.”

That was Al Oppenheiser, Chief Engineer of the Camaro ZL1. This was in regard to the 2013 Mustang GT500, which showed up on the internets sporting a B.F.E. (Think Duke Nukem). 650hp next year. Al is implying that the GT500 wouldn’t be what it is had the ZL1 not come out. Said the battered house wife to her mother, “No, mom, it’s ok. Jerry wouldn’t have punched me if I hadn’t been so silly and gotten mint and spear mint mixed up.” News flash Chevy, Ford will punch you whether you ask for it or not. More scribblings and a short video after the jump …

I guess he thinks Ford was sitting around, playing MW3 and wondering how they can change every model name so it starts with an “F.” (“No Jerry, Fustang won’t work….damn it!”). He thinks they hadn’t even thought of raising the power on the Mustang until someone said “Hey, Autoblog has a video of some Camaro called the ZL1 going really fast on some road call New Burger King?” C’mon Al, you lost (technically). No one is proud of the kid who gets punched and says, “Yeah? I bet your hand hurts though, huh? HA!” The blogs and comments have begun a chicken versus egg argument, but that’s not going to help the bow-tie bearers. The Camaro was gone for several years, and although some argue the 2010 Mustang wouldn’t be what it is if the Camaro SS hadn’t arrived, they’re timing is too close to be a lead/follow situation. Chevy didn’t change the world, it was just their turn in the game of endless pony-car leap frog they play. And, on their first years out, the Mustang GT got more praise in tests. So the Camaro SS didn’t set that bar either, unless you count lining up alphabetically as getting to the line first.

Yeah, well YOU wouldn't have won if it weren't for ME starting it.

As for the ZL1/GT500 game of leap frog, I think Chevy didn’t think Ford was going to leap quite to far. But what were they expecting? The ZL1 has 580HP (which is a lot) and some really awesome chassis and suspension tweaks (it does). They thought that hop forward would give them time to strut their stuff. But this time, Ford got a running start before they jumped. They added 100HP to the GT500. Al’s jaw cracked the breakfast table that day. What did he expect? The last GT500 had 550HP, so the next would have 560? The ZL1 raised the bar, but barely. I’m sure this GT500 had been thought up long ago. Al should just nod to his opponent, and begin developing the next Chevy artillery. I’m sure it will be incredible (*cough*  redesign Camaro *cough*). The ZL1 is a performer, and the next one will be even better. But for now, just admit you were beat.

The competition of building performance cars is a simple game of ping pong. You swing, then I’ll swing, then you swing, then I’ll swing. Ford and Chevy still trade off swinging, Ford just has a stronger and skillful shot now. Maybe the Camaro shouldn’t have sat all those games out.

-Zack K

You may or may not me familiar with my attitude towards NASCAR. Short version: don’t care for it. My disdain for the sport automatically envelopes everyone around it. You could be a 5 year old and I will stubbornly hate you with the maturity of a Bloods and Crips knife fight. Or as applies here, a driver. I don’t hate the drivers personally, just their sport. But after watching this video, Robby Gordon is the man. I’ve watched him do the Baja 1000, and he warmed my heart a bit. After seeing him in this video driving on Bullrun in his 2011 Jeep Cherokee SRT8, I am a fan. Passing a 700WHP GTR is no problem for him. This guy just likes to drive fast. Make the jump for the 12 minute video of Robby absolutely hauling ass.

Better yet, check out his passenger digging his nails into the arm wrests like he’s being electrocuted, the opposite behavior to Robby’s completely calm demeanor. Same demeanor as an 80-year old man clipping rose bushes in his back yard. Passing on a crest over a double yellow? “Hm. Interesting. Should I eat chicken tonight or fish? Well, there’s the mercury to worry about…” I also applaud him for throwing caution, laws and (probably) sponsorships to the wind in the name of adrenaline, fun and rallying. Robby, if you’re taking resumes for passengers, I can make a pretty mean bottle of water and I have an excellent palate for selecting gas station beef jerky.

- Zack K

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for more power in cars, especially when the prices keep coming down. I say that with a grin, a big one. A smile crosses my face when I think about a crazier GT500. And 650 HP stock. And 600 torque. And the idea of going 200 MPH in a stock god damn Ford Mustang.
Let’s think about this for a second. Know what else had 650HP? A Ferrari Enzo! It cost a million f&@king dollars 7 years ago. This has 115 more torques. And it’s 1/20th the price. What?! This is insane! What do you do with 650 HP, as a manufacturer? Make the jump for the rest of my panicked analysis of this craziness.

The real problem is the way some will judge the car. Someone out there will complain about the ride. Someone will complain about the dash (I might). “Oh the stereo’s just ok, and it has a tendency to over-steer.”

I will shoot this person. Wrap your head around it: A car that used to have a slant 6 that made 101HP, now make 6 and a half times that. 650, a car that does not cost half a million dollars for. That’s a big deal. It’s a big deal for a few reasons, one of them being the simple fact that it doesn’t cost a million dollars. Meaning, an Enzo used to be $1,000,000 of performance for $1,000,000. Now, $50,000 gives you $1,000,000 of performance. Sort of. Yes the Enzo is faster to 60 and has a more  sophisticated suspension, but Jebus.

It’s also a big deal, because where will it end? When I read this press release, I laughed, thought of all the wrongdoing I would do if I owned it, and then I took a step back. What are we doing? How much more power do they need before they start developing other parts of the car? Obviously this is a giant, hilarious game of one upmanship but it’s too one dimensional.

Say Ford and Chevy are athletes. They’re told in order to be great athletes they have to work on their speed, their agility, their hand-eye coordination and strength. They’ve gotten better and better at their sport each year (although the regimen seems to have taken a toll on the Camaro’s looks). I feel the Boss 302 and ZL1-despite their power differences-are nearing peak performance. The ZL1 has tons of power but it has Corvette suspension parts. The Boss is the boss, it’s awesome to drive.

But the GT500 is Barry Bonds. No running, no more sit-ups, forget reading comprehension and get a bigger hat, you’re hitting the gym. But how many stock muscles is enough? 200MPH top speed? Matt drove a GT500 at 165 MPH and said the hood was shaking like a Girl Scout at Romanowski’s house.  I’m no green hippy either. I’d be happy to drive a Nelson Racing engines-powered ’67 GTO to work on a daily basis. It would be ridiculous, useless, and stupid and I would giggle my ass to and from the office every single day. But that’s a car I  built to appease my insane idea of a productive, meaningful life.

This arms race of engines, shoved into what used to be cars for the everyman, is getting a little out of control. It’s not that more power or competition are bad, but what about traction? What about weight? The Mustang weighs 3,850lbs. Why can’t they make it lighter and more nimble instead? The great cars today aren’t lead sleds with big blocks. They’re Exiges and Ferraris. Nimble, quick, light on their feet with more grip than a porn booth’s floor.

What about interior materials or new technology? I’m just curious when everyone will say; “Ok, we’ve done all we can with horsepower. The ceiling has been reached. Now, let’s talk about a new axel setup and some smart diffs. And Jimmy, get me this “carbon fiber” everyone is talking about. They might be onto something with this whole, “lighter cars” idea.” I know the new GT500 has better aero at the front, a carbon fiber drive-shaft and suspension and brake upgrades, but 650HP is a lot to reign in. And if a car bites off more than it can chew, the journalists will make note of it.

Ford’s press release for this car says (of course), the GT500 has the most powerful production V-8 in the universe. Who the —- cares? If this were 60 years ago and the most powerful engine had 300HP, fine. But 650 is dangerous to 99% of drivers today. And the tagline “Most powerful in the world.” is stupid. No one shopping for this kind of car cares. That’s a line written by ad people to wave their dicks, it won’t actually attract customers. If I’m buying this car, that line isn’t going to push me over the edge. It’s like when a small burger shack’s sign says “World Famous.” The world has no idea you exist. People in Turkey aren’t talking about what spices are on your cheeseburger. If I stop at your establishment, it’s because I know what a burger tastes like and I want one. The sign is silly.

An Enzo railed around a track because it had huge power, and all the necessary engineering and tech to support and manage that power. I hope the GT500 does as well. I do. I like muscle cars, noise, power and stupid amounts of speed. But I think we’re nearing the limit with these kinds of cars.  If it doesn’t do the job well, Ford may have built the biggest gun in the world but end up with a misfire.

-Zack K

(I’m saying “torques” for the sake of brevity. “Foooot pounds” sounds longer in your head than it takes to write. It’s a silt patch on the Baja 500. It’s like hitting a patch of sticky snow. We know all know what the damn number means.)

Here at TST we are close friends to the Road Trip. We haven’t added it up (and I’m sure plenty of others drive more) but put in a few thousand miles per shoot. We’re also a visual people. Constantly analyzing what we pass by, and looking for interesting places to film. Often times it’s just whimsical thoughts, “Ooh what if you could shoot here, at 5:30pm, on a crisp winter day, with an Aventador, driven by a unicorn.” We’ll never be allowed to drive a monster truck in that Wal-Mart, we know that. But we appreciate the sites you pass on a trip. We all love to drive. As much a pain the long trips can be, they’re usually fun one way or another (The Valentine 1 tells the BEST stories!) And we appreciate people that put work into doing something interesting with a car, and putting it out into the world.

Brian DeFrees drove his car 12,225 miles between August and October of this year. Every 5 seconds his camera would snap a picture. If he averages 60 mph, my 4am math tells me he got home with 146,700 pictures to search through. Bet there’s a few stretches in Kansas where they turned that camera off. But we appreciate the documentation of a trip like this. It gives normal people a quick look at what we see on our silly adventures. It’s interesting to see how many different landscapes, weather systems, skies, cities, systems and types of roads exist in this country. If you need a break from work, take 5 minutes and take a quick trip across the U.S.

It might even inspire you to think about taking a trip on this country’s great questionable roads. Just  be glad you don’t have to drive thousands of miles, if you don’t want to.

The Smoking Tire is happy to announce a new partnership with Blip.tv, a great way to watch and share videos online. Through Blip, we will be able to extend our reach into AOL, Yahoo, MSN, iTunes, and more, and those of you who don’t like using just YouTube for your videos will have many other options. Blip is the only player that can be embedded into Facebook walls, and it features full HD unlike Castfire, our last super-distribution tool. All episodes of The Smoking Tire are now online at our Blip Showpage, so check out some of our classic episodes and leave your thoughts in the comments! What’s your all-time  favorite episode of The Smoking Tire?

My personal favorite is still the Jaguar XKR 175 top speed run, which I have embedded here for your viewing pleasure.

When we heard the BMW 1M was going to be at TST headquarters for a week, our right feet collectively salivated. It was one of the most anticipated cars of the year. That anticipation was fueled by the simple formula of 135i size+ M3 performance parts + more power – weight= super mega fun time. After driving it, we would describe it with phrases like “Sell my own mother for one.” or “I’m leaving in the 1M for Mexico at 4am. Who’s with me?” Matt took it to his favorite place-an empty canyon- to see if the past year’s hullabaloo was worth it.

At times I am a walking contradiction. I support the EPA and Sierra Club but if you hand me a gun and 4 sets of tires I’ll Yosemite Sam Hubinette that shit all day long. And as much as I love burning as much gas as possible, it’s expensive, and I am poor. So when the CR-Z concept came out, I thought it was that bowl of porridge made of half hybrid MPG and half sports car. A few weeks ago I got one to try out. How did it do? Make the jump to find out.

When sugar-free food came out, companies were practically hurling them at people with air cannons as they pulled in the grocery parking lot. “Zero calorie chips!  Muffins! Cookies, creams, syrups, jams, there’s no sugar!! Jump on our bandwagon” The green movement has been no different, with every manufacturer making a hybrid-or in the case of the extinct BMW X6 Hybrid- trying to. Everything must be “green.” Our bags, soaps, cars, towels… I’m just waiting for a filter we pee into to make our excretions more earth-friendly. And yes, I know pee is sterile.

So like those weird foods when it came to hybrids there was always a lingering taste of strangeness. A “close, but no cigar” feeling. Hybrids were good at getting good mileage, but little else. Many people buy them, many don’t.

I’m one of those that don’t. You’d think it has something to do with my current bank account, and you’re almost right. Poor, yes, but if I really wanted to sell my questionably safe Miata and buy a used hybrid, I could. My brother picked up a used Civic for $5k. I imagine he spends his gas savings on organic roofies, the explanation for him laying so many toned, patchouli-scented yoga lasses.

My problem is hybrids were as boring as charting a trees daily growth. It wasn’t driving, it was like pointing a bumper boat, but with less adrenaline. It was like watching an Amish porno: Two people go in the house, the camera stays outside, and there’s no sound. That’s the level of arousal a Prius got out of me. The Porsche 918 Spyder prevented me from killing myself, but unless you guys buy 1,000,000 Smoking Tire T-shirts, it’s out of my debit card’s reach.

So I waited for a discount 918. I wanted a car that can kiss apexes and free-range baby lambs (delicious) with equal skill. And that’s what Honda was offering with the CR-Z. “It’s a hybrid, but it’s “sporty!” Come on kids, try it!” Alright, I think I will.

Outside, the CR-Z is a cool car. I like the front, I like the back, and I like the profile. It looks lower than it is. It looks capable and ready. I wanted to plow through traffic, like I was in Flight of the Navigator (It’s a space ship, before you ask) and the peons commuting to work should part for me like the legs of an “actress” from San Fernando Valley. Considering the analogies I’ve used for the Prius (Looks akin to a melted Starburst, comatose, supports self-inflicted homicide) I’d say the CR-Z is off to a very good start.

The inside is confusing. Not from the driver’s seat. It’s what you expect from a current Honda. Little dated, and not a front-runner of interiors, but it works in this car. In the Civic SI last year I remember thinking “Are we in a space ship?” Same here, but in this car it works. The batteries and electric motors nearby justify the blue lights, changing colors (green, blue and red, depending on your driving mode) and odd mesh panels. There’s plenty of storage, and I like the iPod shelf (although the cable looked it was from an abandoned Radio Shack). There’s not too much hard plastic, the driver inputs are in easy reach, and our EX model had all of today’s gadgets.

But if your passenger is over 6 feet tall, they won’t be happy. And if you need to open the glove box, you won’t be happy. Even with the seat all the way back, it was inaccessible. Why they positioned it so low I have no idea. Any lower and the door would have been facing the engine bay.

     I also don’t understand the semi-back seats. They call it a parcel shelf, but it looks like a back seat that’s was picked clean by vultures. Europe offers a back seat, and I’m sure it saved Honda money using this universal substitute, but I kept looking for a seatbelt. But because it’s a hatch you can get 25 cu. ft. of storage space. You probably can’t take it furniture shopping, but that’s what friends with trucks are for. The NAV is also a bit cheap and dated looking, but with a smart phone in my pocket, I can let it go.

My CR-Z loaner was blessed with the 6-speed manual, and folks, this is the way to go. I know, having an automatic allows you to relax in traffic (i.e. text, Facebook, makeup, digitally manipulate) but because this is a hybrid, downshifting to brake-while not really slowing you down- charges the battery. I go over two small hills on my commute, and despite driving this thing like the angry, over-caffeinated short-tempered ass I am, I got 26 MPG. That’s only 5MPG off the EPA estimate (31/37MPG). I attribute this to downshifting. Each time I slowed I was charging the battery.

The CR-Z engine caught me by surprise. The car never felt fast, so when I looked at the speedo during on-ramp “tests” I was actually surprised. It only makes 113hp from the 1.5 liter 4-banger, and the DC motor only adds another 13. The electric motors are there to assist acceleration, not be a primary motivator. So total, you get 126hp, nothing special. But, the electric motor adds 58 ft-lbs of torque, for a max of 181 ft-lbs. Might as well be the Duramax of small Honda engines. That torque is available during WOT applications, and comes in handy when passing or expressing your 8AM hatred of the world. It’s just sad the only indicator of speed is in fact, the speed indicator.

The power delivery depends on what setting you have it in. The CR-Z has 3: Eco, Normal and Sport. Eco lightens up the AC output, throws glue on the DBW throttle response and limits the electric power (but still goes to 100% at WOT. Smart). Sport turns engine response, throttle and steering up, and Normal is in the middle. I used Eco mode a few times in traffic, or on the highway. It’s slow, but it’s supposed to be. I will praise Honda for having the forethought to give the car full power under WOT. God forbid you need to get out of the way of a valium-soaked divorcee` in an Escalade, you want power to be available.

The handling on the CR-Z was not what I expected. It actually had a surprising amount of grip. On/off-ramps were taken at higher speeds than expected, completely without a hiccup. But while cornering at 70mph, I was close to testing the durability of the side mirrors on concrete. Lot’s of grip, but also body roll. I found the suspension to be much too soft, even over potholes in town. Honda wanted mass-market appeal, but it felt like I was in a rowboat on a lake of heavy cream (also smothering the sense of speed). Thicker sway bars and slightly stiffer shocks would do it well.

So what do we end up with? Well, a bit of a confusing attempt at breaking ground. The CR-Z is the first sporty hybrid for people other than OPEC Chairman, and that’s a good thing. But if you look at what else is available, even in Honda’s own showroom, it’s hard to see why you’d buy one. The Honda Fit (watch our review) is the same size, has the same cargo space, gets the same highway MPG (28/37) and costs $6k less. A Hyundai Accent holds a little less, and uses more gas, but saves you $8k. And while you’re in the Hyundai lot, check out a Veloster, which gets 40 MPG (manual). The $23k sticker on our test car gives you tons of options, some from Honda themselves.

With the interior issues, soft handling and lack of exceptional MPG, you’d think Honda has failed. The CR-Z is certainly not a sports car, at least in its stock form.  Despite being underwhelmed, I  like this car. I like it for what it represents. A car with an enthusiast’s interests at heart is what the future needs. I love big, cammy V8s that get 4 MPG. There’s nothing more fun than roasting tires with a catless exhaust and a big block screaming at the world. But I can’t do that everyday. I saw 3 CR-Zs at the Formula D event, so I know I’m not alone. If I can drive to work in my normal aggressive, senseless, lead-footed fashion and get 26+ MPG, I’m a pretty happy camper.

While the CR-Z has a lot of weak spots, I tip my hat to Honda for being the first out the gate with something like this. I hope we will see a car in the near future that has a little more “sport” DNA in it’s skeleton, yet uses a hybrid powertrain. Car enthusiasts, drivers, “car people”, we’re all a bunch of picky, high-maintenance asses. But for a long time green cars makers were asking us to crush our passion or ignoring us altogether. Honda is trying to include us in their future; they just need to work a little better at it.

- Zack K

Matt hates video games for several reasons, but mostly it’s because they aren’t nearly as much fun as the real thing, which he proves in this video. In 2006, Art Morrison won the “Gran Turismo Award” at the SEMA show, which means that they put your show car into the video game Gran Turismo. After testing the video game version, Matt can’t help but dream of driving the real thing. Hit the jump to see what happens when your wish is granted.

Vaughn Gittin Jr., Tanner Foust, Matt, Ken Block, and Brian Deegan

The Ford marketing department’s pimp game has been especially tight in the last couple of years. And I should know, as I, despite my journalism street cred, have been a part of it more than once. Back at our old show, Garage419, we were offered one of the “Fiesta Movement” cars for 6 months, which we turned down, because we didn’t feel like filming the same car over and over for half a year. Nevertheless, the Fiesta Movement was a huge success, leading to millions of minutes of online video coverage promoting their new small car. A year ago, I took part in the Ford Focus Rally, essentially a version of “The Amazing Race” by the same producers, except instead of public transportation we drove 7,000 miles in Ford Focus Titanium’s. (For the record, yes I got paid to participate, which is why I will not review the new Focus). It was a reality show on the surface, but more likely a not-so-subtle month-long commercial for the Focus, as many of the car’s features were integrated into challenges. This brings us to Ford’s newest plan: The Octane Academy. It’s a chance for young, aspiring action sports athletes to compete against each other, on television, while under the patient guidance of four of today’s hottest motorsports stars.

For some reason, (I’m guessing it’s because I had to drive 7,000 miles with the cruise control set to 60 on the Focus Rally) Ford decided I should be included in their Media Invitational, and even be allowed to drive fast on their test track while competing against 19 other journalists for the Octane Academy Invitational Gold Medal (no shit, they had medals.) And I almost won, but, as usual, screwed myself. It’s a long story, but don’t worry, I made it extra awesome for you. Hit the jump to read on.

The Octane Academy Invitational (OAI from here on out), was broken down into 6 disciplines: Stage Rally with instructor Ken Block, Stunt Driving with instructor Tanner Foust, Off-Roading with instructor Brian Deegan, Drifting with instructor Vaughn Gittin Jr., and playing racing video games, while drunk at a bar. If you know me, you know that I’m friends with all these guys and they are all ridiculously busy, so the chance to hang out with them all at once was not to be missed, especially when I am given the opportunity to learn from their incredible talents behind the wheel. And if you follow me on Facebook, you’d know that as I boarded a plane for Detroit, I wasn’t thinking about driving lines on the rally stage or how to beat 19 other journalists. I was thinking about my strategy for getting Tanner as drunk as possible. I love drunk Tanner.

Discipline 1: Racing Simulator – Rochester Mills Beer Co

The first challenge was simple: Play two video games and set a lap time as close to the Pro’s time as possible. Ken laid it down in Dirt2 and Vaughn set his time on Willow Springs in Shift2. If you’ve ever seen The Car Show, that other show I host, our home track is Willow Springs, so I was confident I could do well here. Unfortunately, “video game” Willow looks absolutely nothing like real Willow, besides the general layout of the track. Still, I was able to get within 4 seconds of JR’s time, having never played the game. I clearly wasn’t drunk enough, and neither was Tanner, so I went back to the bar.

If you asked me to choose between drinking and playing video games while at a bar with my friends, video games wouldn’t even come in fourth out of two. So I forgot to play Dirt2 because I was busy feeding Tanner shots, and who cares anyway, because it’s not real driving.

Tanner called it quits around 2AM, but myself and Bill Caswell, of $500 rally car fame, kept on going until 3. I made it to the morning briefing. Caswell didn’t. Pussy.

Discipline 2: Off-Roading – Michigan Proving Grounds Raptor Test Track

We arrived at the wet, muddy Raptor course in a 15-passenger van that was being driven like it was on a stage rally by a small, unassuming woman, and all pre-concieved notions about what it takes to be  a driver went straight out the window. Who’d have thought seeing over the steering wheel wasn’t a requirement? After a brief safety talk from a Ford staffer, Brian Deegan gave us all some hot laps around the track in a Raptor Super Crew, which included a rather large jump. The track was extremely technical and slippery, and even with the truck in 4×4 with the differential locked, every turn was a full drift, sometimes into the grass or vegetation on either side of the track. Deegan would later admit, “There were definitely some cases on that track when I was not in control.”

Then, I was disappointed. We wouldn’t be racing each other flat-out on the course. Instead, we would be using a section of course with cones laid out on it, and would have to reverse through the series of cone-gates using only the backup camera as a guide. I was as annoyed this time as I was when they made us do the exact same thing on the Ford Focus Rally, except that was on an autocross course… at Laguna Seca. In all fairness though, I was the only Raptor owner among the group and I’m sure that, were we allowed to run free, several trucks and possibly lives would have been written off that day. Everyone knows most automotive journalists can’t drive for shit, but half the group were lifestyle journalists, what would they do with a Raptor? I know, total it.

I watched several of the lifestyle journalists go through the course in reverse, and they were so slow, that eventually 0-60 writer Alex Bernstein and I started comparing their times to the length of Stairway to Heaven. One didn’t make it. By the time I got in the Raptor, I just wanted to go fast, reverse or not. So I mashed it, and started murdering that course. Then, of course, my lead foot got the best of me and I missed a gate, basically disqualifying me. Oh well, at least I had tried to go fast.

Reversing Winner: Some really hot Asian girl named Victoria. Don’t remember who she wrote for, because I only remember the important parts. But still, Asian girl winning a driving contest? Respect.

Discipline 2: Stunt Driving – Michigan Proving Grounds Wet Skidpad

We arrived at the VDA (That’s Vehicle Dynamics Area, or Skidpad) and I was immediately impressed. It was 45 acres square, with nothing to hit and an irrigation system that can evenly cover the whole thing with between a half-inch and 2 inches of water. Very trick. On the far side, I could hear JR drifting Mustangs. As we approached the Stunt area, I saw Tanner, laying on the ground by a Focus. He may have beaten me at life, but last night, I definitely beat him at drinking. Now, I know something about Tanner Foust that not many people know. He isn’t exactly a good passenger. He was instructing me at Willow Springs last year, and even though I wasn’t driving all that hard, he still had to stop after 2 laps at a time because he gets motion sickness. And now he’s teaching stunt driving. Hung over. Ouch.

Our mission was to perform three tasks on a wet skidpad: Using a 2012 Focus Titanium with all the sensors and fuses disconnected, we had to do a reverse J-turn into a box, a high-speed 360 into a box, and “kick” a 6-foot soccer ball into a goal using the nose of the car. I knew I could handle all this stuff, so I went first to spare Tanner unnecessary spinning. I learned the J-turn a couple months back at Bondurant, so that was a one-timer. The 360 requires a series of steps that you have to complete while a car is spinning around, so the key is to not get distracted. It goes like this:

- Drive 60 mph in a straight line

- Crank the wheel hard left while yanking the parking brake only. Hold the button down so it doesn’t lock.

- When the car gets to almost 180 degrees, drop the parking brake, shift into Neutral and crank the wheel full-lock the other way

- Shift into drive, straighten the wheel, and floor it.

It’s not all that difficult, and it only took 2 tries to get into the box. I then scored a goal using a Focus, for a perfect stunt driving score. Others said this challenge was the most difficult, because of the technical nature of the steps while spinning, but I guess my brain processes stuff like this easily. I learned later at the awards ceremony that Tanner did a total of nearly 130 spins as a passenger in that Focus, and managed not to vomit. Incredible.

Stunt Driving Winner: Matt Farah. Damn right I won stunt driving.

Discipline 3: Stage Rally – Michigan Proving Grounds “Dry” Dirt Course

I was really excited for this. After attending the DirtFish Rally School earlier this year, I was fully hooked on rallying and welcomed the opportunity to play in the dirt. Unlike the Raptor track, we would actually be allowed to drive flat-out here in rally-prepped Fiestas from the Team O’Neil Rally School. A one-mile stage was set up with a few chicanes, a slalom, and some fast sweepers, and first, Ford’s WRC driver and world-famous Gymkhana artist would show us a hot lap in the Fiesta R2, a 175 horsepower, gutted, caged, and sequential’ed factory rally car. Ken doesn’t talk much when he drives, so I just watched his line and braking style on corner entry, and tried to remember his moves.

We would get one practice lap and then two timed laps on the stage to set a time. Ken’s time in the R2 was 1:50. Our “target” time was 2:20. There would be a 3-second penalty for each cone hit, and there were probably over 150 cones on the course. Since I had no idea the time difference between our Fiestas, which were basically stock with an exhaust, roll cage, harnesses and snow tires, and his, I went on my practice lap with no expectations. Unfortunately, my experience in the AWD Subaru’s used at Dirtfish bit me in the ass, as a FWD rally car behaves completely differently. The good news is Tim O’Neil and one of his instructors, “Fast Eddie,” were there to help. I had to enter corners much slower, but I could start my braking later and hold it longer. I also had to use the power to stop the car from sliding, instead of to cause a slide.

On my first timed lap, I thought I had it, but I went into the last corner way too hot and went sideways. I had to make a 3-point turn to get through the gate, and somehow I still ran a 2:18. Tim and Ken reminded me that in a FWD car, I need to enter corners much slower than I would in an AWD car, and even though it felt weird, would make faster lap times. I guess it worked, because the next time around, I ran 2:04, the fastest time of the day. I hit one cone for a net time of 2:07. Either way, this was the most fun I’d had all day and would gladly stay here doing laps until I ran out of gas. I tried to get Ken to run just one lap in the same cars as us, but, unsurprisingly, he wouldn’t bite. Considering how much of the course I ran totally flat, I didn’t see much room for time improvements, but I’d bet Ken could shave another 5 seconds off no problem.

Stage Rally Winner: An Englishman whose name escapes me also ran a 2:04, but without the cone penalty. I was this close. But the clear highlight (or low-light as it were), definitely went to a journalist that managed to roll one of the Fiestas on the stage. It landed on its wheels and he kept driving. It goes to show you that even if a car feels unbelievably slow, someone will still find a way to wreck one. Amazingly the only damage to the Fiesta was on the passenger door and roof, it was mechanically perfect.

Discipline 4: Drifting – Michigan Proving Grounds Dry Skidpad

Drifting is one of those things that professionals make look incredibly easy, but it really isn’t at all. It’s actually really hard. In order to show us how easy it is for him, Vaughn, or JR as I call him, took us for a hot-drift lap in a 2011 V6 Mustang. He chucked it into a corner at 90 mph and maintained a huge drift of at least a 500 foot radius before tightening it up into a drift slalom and a quick 180 into a box. Seriously impressive stuff, and he doesn’t even look like he’s trying. The challenge seemed simple at first, but as you will see, was anything but. We’d each get 5 minutes to practice drifting before competing to see who could perform the longest drift around a 200 foot circle. Up until our group, the last of the day, everyone else’s drift had been measured in feet. Our goal was to get measured in laps. Now, I can kick a car sideways around a corner no problem. But I’ve never had the space nor the tires to practice long, extended drifts like the pros do. And, the car they have provided us is an Automatic-equipped 5.0L 2011 Mustang GT. It’s much easier to get a car sideways with a manual transmission, since you can clutch-kick it in second gear, but some people at the event couldn’t drive stick. For me, the auto felt like a disadvantage. But I’m a good student and JR is a good teacher, so I kept an open mind and tried to listen to his advice. Here’s how to drift a circle, according to JR.

- Enter the circle with the engine around 3,000 RPM in first gear

- Turn away from the circle to offset the car’s weight, then mash the gas as you turn into the circle. If you don’t steer enough or hit the gas hard enough, you will get understeer in a stock car.

- When the rear end brakes loose, get off the gas completely and let the car settle in the slide. Most people make mistakes here, including me, by not getting off the gas enough. If you stay in it, you spin.

- Let the car steer itself into the drift. You can actually let go of the wheel here as the car is going sideways, and literally “catch the drift” when the back end gets to the right angle.

- When the wheel and back end are at the right angle, catch the wheel and apply just enough throttle that the car maintains the angle. Too little throttle, it will straighten out. Too much, and it will spin completely.

I can honestly attest to the fact that this is much easier said than done. But, like anything else, half a day of practice would result in a huge improvement. (Is this where I mention I’m going to Bondurant for private drifting lessons next week?). And even after just 5 minutes of practice, which is 6 or 7 spin outs and one understeer, I managed to hold a drift long enough for 1 complete lap of the circle. Not bad. Until Alex Bernstein from 0-60 showed up.

Drifting Winner: Alex ripped of six full laps around the 200 foot circle with only 5 minutes of instruction. Very impressive. He and I were the only two people all day to complete 1 or more laps, but man did I get smoked on that one.

The Results: “King Dorifto” Alex Bernstein took the whole thing, for getting good scores all around and just murdering the drift challenge. I managed to finish 4th overall, with a first place in Stunt and second places in Drift and Stage Rally. My DQ from the off-road reversing challenge didn’t make that big a dent in my score, but after the awards ceremony, I learned how I fucked myself: I finished 6 points out of First place, and 2 points from the Podium. Had I played the other video game, Dirt2 at all, even if I set the worst lap time ever, I would have gotten 10 points and first place overall. But no, I was force feeding Tanner Foust alcohol. At least I had my priorities in order, and took this picture at about 2 am the night before driving:

So that’s my story. But here’s the best part. It can be your story too. That’s right, the whole point of my going out there and having fun was to tell you that you can go out there and have fun. But it’s not easy. So far over 6,000 videos have been submitted, and only 32 will be chosen to participate in the actual Octane Academy. But if you think you have what it takes to be the next action sports star, hit up the Octane Academy website and get on board!

“That’s the best motorcycle in the world.” – Everyone, ever.

Sometimes when we test something on The Smoking Tire, we have zero pre-concieved notions of what to expect. For example, when I recently reviewed the BMW F800R Motorcycle, I hadn’t heard anything about it from anyone besides the fleet manager, who said it was “Fun.” I just thought it looked cool and wanted to try it. The BMW R1200GS is exactly the opposite. I knew lots about it from lots of people. My friend Dave Maher spent 3 months wandering the United States on the back of one. Actor Ewan MacGregor famously circumnavigated the globe on one. Countless others have ridden unbelievable distances over incredible terrain on GS motorcycles for nearly 30 years. And when I was looking to buy a motorcycle in 2009, the GS was high on my shopping list. It ultimately didn’t fit my needs at the time, but I found it very interesting that used examples had approximately 1000% more miles than almost all other bikes on the market. I had a really hard time finding a used GS with less than 40,000 miles on the clock. So I knew that anyone who bought one of these bikes, bought it to ride, a lot. And although I didn’t end up buying one back in 2009, if you asked me what bike I’d like to own today, my story would be drastically different, and include just one option: The R1200 GS. And that’s because after just 15 minutes of riding, I learned that everyone who’s ever told me that the GS is the best motorcycle in the world is exactly right. Hit the jump to find out why.

On a sunny California Thursday, I found myself walking into BMW’s fleet management company here in Los Angeles, and coming face to face with what would be my steed for the next two weeks: a blacked out, loaded to the gills, R 1200 GS. In order to fully describe the bike, let’s first break down how BMW names their bikes in the first place: the “R” indicates the style of engine, in this case a Boxer layout. The 1200 is, of course, the displacement in cubic centimeters, and the “GS” stands for Gelande Sport, or “The Most Capable Motorcycle Money Can Buy.” And you don’t have to look hard to see it, either. It’s the kind of bike that makes function look pretty, like the KTM X-Bow. It’s raw, purposeful, and powerful looking, and sitting on its integrated center stand, quite intimidating.

My intimidation didn’t last long, though, as I began browsing the bike’s features. Everything is very straightforward and required little explanation. This would be the first navigation-equipped bike I’d ridden, so I was extremely thankful that BMW decided to keep things simple and use the all-familliar Garmin software. There is an on-board computer with basic information such as average speed, average fuel economy, clock, thermometer, and the always useful “miles to empty” gauge. The clamp-on Navigation obstructed half the tachometer, but at least it was the lower half, so I could see once the needle crossed 5,000 RPM. At least I wouldn’t be bouncing off the rev limiter by accident. On the left grip, a button labeled “ESA” controls the electronic suspension adjustments. Yep, the GS has electronic ride control.

With the bike now off the center stand, it became a much more reasonable height. Nevertheless, riders under 6 feet tall may have a problem at stop lights unless they are comfortable with just one foot on the ground. With a bike this heavy (500 lbs), it’s not really recommended. I hit the start button and the GS awoke with a deep baritone but subdued hum. I was off.

I immediately realized why people can ride these bikes around the world. The seating position is as perfect as I’ve ever felt on a bike, the small windscreen is extremely effective, and despite its size, everything about the GS feels effortless. It weaves through traffic like a bike half its size (at least once I took the cargo boxes off), its clutch feel is excellent, and with 110 HP and 88 lb/ft of torque on tap, there’s enough power to rip to 60 in just 3.4 seconds. Not bad for the Ford Raptor of motorcycles, huh? My first goal was to test the electronic suspension on the worst possible road to ride a motorcycle: The 405 Freeway.

The 405 is a horrible, awful place to ride a bike. Not only is the road completely clogged with incompetent drivers who would rather be applying makeup or browsing their iPhone than driving, the concrete expansion joints and grooved pavement make most motorcycles act like they have minds of their own, moving around underneath the rider in the most disconcerting way. With the suspension set in Sport, its stiffest setting, I set off. It was miserable. So I tried Normal, and the ride improved. Now, though I could feel the bumps, the bike seemed to absorb the worst ones and my confidence in controlling it at speed grew. Next, I selected Comfort, and all felt right with the world. The bike tracked straight and easy, and I accelerated past 80 mph totally confident that the bike would absorb the strange surface beneath me. It did. But that’s not all. In Comfort mode, the GS rides like a luxury car, absorbing potholes, speed bumps, Volkswagens, whatever’s in your way. I left the bike in this setting for 90% of the next 2 weeks’ riding. Except in the canyons.

Malibu on a Sunday is pretty much standard operating procedure for every motorcycle rider in the Los Angeles area. And while I normally prefer to do my canyon carving on weekdays when the roads are empty, I found it to be a good opportunity to gauge the public response to the GS. Sure enough, I got compliments everywhere, from the Rock Store to the top of Mulholland, everyone gave me a thumbs up or a “Wow, nice bike.”

Riding in the canyons is much the same. With the ESA in Sport, I did over 200 miles of canyon carving and found the GS to be a thoroughly satisfying sport bike. While I couldn’t keep up with the full-leathered riders on the S1000RR’s, I likewise never held anyone up, and even caught a few sports cars in some very technical sections. The bike isn’t a rocket, but its wide handlebars and compliant suspension help the bike to get leaned down quickly, remain composed through the corners, and stand back at attention with a twist of the throttle. And while some other bikes get squirrely when faced with dirt and/or pebbles mid corner, the GS’s all-terrain tires make it feel as if the pavement is perfectly clean. If you plan on hard canyon carving with the GS, you must always be mindful of the Boxer’s heads, which can scrape the ground if leaned down far enough. Fortunately I only made that mistake once.

Now, about that engine. It’s powerful no matter the RPM. And though the exhaust note resembles a Subaru’s at low RPM, the faster you go, the smoother it gets. At 4,000 RPM, it’s virtually vibration free. At highway speeds, it’s so quiet that I can’t even hear the engine, just the roar of wind noise around my helmet. It’s no surprise that people ride these bikes tens of thousands of miles, because doing so exerts approximately zero stress on the body.

There are, of course a couple of downsides. Because the R1200GS is so big, and has such wide handlebars, it’s not exactly suited to lane-splitting in a crowded Los Angels intersection. It can be done, but requires much more caution and concentration than most other sporting motorcycles. The engine also seems to hiccup if you blip the throttle too quickly; preferring a more purposeful, harder blip in order to rev match appropriately. I also don’t like the separated blinker controls, which confuse me after every other bike has a single toggle for both directions. Fortunately, all these issues can be adapted to, and after a day or two riding my body learned to work with the bike.

Over two weeks I put nearly 800 miles on the R1200GS, and loved every minute of it. I realize that many bike owners have multiple motorcycles for different purposes, but if I had to pick one bike to ride for the rest of my life, this would be it. It offers enough sporting potential to have fun in the canyons, enough comfort and practicality to ride across the country or the desert, it can be taken off road, through water, or over snow. It has a community of seasoned riders for support, and most importantly, a proven reliability record. Sure, it’s not cheap, at $15,495 delivered, but to me, that seems like a bargain for what you get.

Forza 4

I know what you’re going to say: “Video games? On an automotive site?” Well, let me start off by saying that, like Matt, I’ve never been a big gamer. It wasn’t until I was 15 that I got my first gaming system, a Playstation bundle pack my family got with the new TV. It came with one game: Gran Turismo. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. I loved the fact I got to drive real cars, and not some made up space karts with turbo boosters. I loved the fact that it was the most realistic racing game I had ever played. I was amazed by the graphics (1998, haha) and sounds of the game. Needless to say, I was hooked. I played that game until my thumbs were sore.  I remember waking up early before school , just to drive my hard earned Formula 1 car around the Nürburgring. Then it all changed. Somewhere between going off to college and discovering the fairer sex, I lost interest in video games. Sure, occasionally I’d sit down to play some racing games with friends, but was never really as enamored with them as when I first sat down with that revolutionary racing game I grew up with. I lost interest and focused more on actual driving and having fun behind the wheel of a REAL car. More after the jump.

Fast forward a few years and many speeding tickets later, and I find myself in today’s digital world. It seems to me that every video game out there is either some post-apocalyptic aliens-are-taking-over-Walmart shooter or a new karaoke pokemon breakdance party game. Not exactly my cup of tea.

So you can imagine my hesitation when I got a phone call asking if I’d like to review the new Forza 4. I actually had played Forza 3, and while it was fun for a quick race, I didn’t get the full experience since, well, I don’t own an Xbox or have any friends that regularly play the game.  Something though, maybe it was the rumors I had heard of Top Gear’s involvement, sparked my interest and I decided to check it out.

Boy was I glad I did. From the moment you turn on the game for the first time and hear Jeremy Clarkson’s introduction, you know it’s not just another racing game. Forza 4 has literally revolutionized the racing game as we know it.

The graphics are absolutely stunning. Not only featuring an all new lighting engine, Turn 10, the games developer, actually brought in Hollywood lighting experts as part of the development team.  Racing around Laguna Seca in an M3 GTR looks as though you’re actually watching HD coverage of an ALMS race, and not sitting on the couch in your boxers. Also, using Kinect’s Head Tracking system, the camera actually pans its view based on how you naturally look into the corners when hard charging an apex.

Turn 10's Creative Director Dan Greenawalt

Turn 10, the developer behind the Forza franchise, spent a lot of time listening to the enthusiast community and using their input throughout the development process, and it shows. With more than 80 manufacturers represented in the game (sorry, still no Porsche), Forza 4 features the most diverse grouping of cars I’ve ever seen in a game.  From obscure JDM cars you’ve probably never heard of, to the Teutonic giants of the Nürburgring, there’s something for every gearhead in this game. That diversity lends itself well to Forza’s already huge Xbox Live network, where you and your friends can create your own Car Club, bringing together the best drivers, tuners and customizers from the Forza community. As part of each club, you have the ability to share cars, so if I have a perfectly set up AE86 drift car, you can take that on the (very Initial D-esque) downhill mountain road, while I use your Veyron to slaughter track day heroes at Sebring. Microsoft’s innovative Kinect system also comes into play in the new Autovista mode, which not only features commentary by Top Gear’s Jezza himself, but also the ability to walk around, look at engine bay details. Kinect’s Head Tracking system, in game play, even pans the camera view based on how you naturally look into the corners when hard charging an apex.

To get down to brass tacks, Forza not only looks and sounds the part but also drives like no other game available. With vehicle dynamics developed directly with Pirelli, using their actual real world test results as data, the physics of the game are simply jaw dropping. Using a force-feedback wheel, you can literally feel the cracks in the pavement as you fly into the first chicane on the Mulsanne straight. One of the best parts of Forza 4 though, is the ability to custom tune your gaming experience. While Forza is equipped with a physics engine bordering on professional simulation, and graphics modeling on par with movie CGI, the game still features a plethora of driver aids, steering and brake assists available, so that even the most casual player can race.

In short, Forza 4 is an amazing game. It combines the polish and design needed to attract today’s gaming community, but still offers part of the visceral sights and sounds that car enthusiasts love. While we live in an age where teens are getting their licenses later and later, with a steady declining interest in cars, it’s games like Forza 4 that will hopefully bring them back around.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Ferrari 330 P4 to whip around the Nürburgring. Aids off.

- Daniel Volz

The Smoking Tire’s Tom Morningstar is thoroughly obsessed with bike racing. So much so that he DVR’ed the entire Tour De France. That’s 4 hours per day for 3 weeks straight. And he watched the entire thing. So much so that, even though we live in Los Angeles and he doesn’t have a car, he bought a $3,000 road bike. So much so, that he convinced me that the $340,000 Bentley Mulsanne sitting in our driveway would make a perfect crew vehicle for a pro biking team that was practicing for an upcoming race. We used the opportunity to see how the back seat of the Mulsanne, where the bikers’ assistants ride, compares to the front seat, where I like to be. Video after the jump.

We all know where this is going. It’s a 427 freakin’ Cobra. It is insane, awesome, noisy, squirrely, and every man’s fantasy. You get it and I get it. What you might not know, however, is what makes the car you’re currently ogling different. I’ll give you a hint: it’s the kind of difference that makes Carol Shelby himself take notice. Continue reading to find out what the difference is.

Aircraft, beer cans, and the original AC Cobra all share something that your average Cobra replica is missing – aluminum. The 427 Cobra is the most replicated car in the world, but almost all of them are made with fiberglass bodies. Now, fiberglass is great; it’s light, strong, durable, and easy to mold. These qualities make it great for canoes and insulation. Not so great for cars though. A friend of mine lost a family member not 3 weeks ago when the Cobra replica she was in was hit by an actual steel car. He described the accident by saying that the Cobra just “shattered” on impact. That’s what fiberglass does when stressed, it shatters where metal bends and absorbs energy. It is a tragedy that every replica out there is made out of plastic and no one is actually making them out of the original aluminum anymore. Oh wait, someone is…

Kirkham Motorsports out of Provo, Utah makes aluminum bodied 427 Cobra replicas by hand. I don’t mean the kit-car definition of “by hand,” I mean the Rolls-Royce definition of “by hand.” That curvaceous body is pounded out using hammers, English wheels, and sweat. Seriously. The story behind how this aluminum skin came to be is as interesting as the cars are fast.

The year is 1995 and the Soviet Union has been gone for 4 years. Great news in the West, not so great for the average people of Eastern Europe who depended on Mother Russia for such small things as jobs and food. This was the case in much of Poland, and importantly for our story one specific factory that crafted the aluminum skins onto MiG fighters. With no orders coming in, no materials, and no lights it was as if they were just waiting around for an American businessperson to come along and ask them to start making stupefying well-crafted sports cars – and what do you know, that’s exactly what happened.

Forgive me for making that series of events sound easy, because it wasn’t. David Kirkham missed his final exams in his final semester of college to fly to Poland and make the deal. Did I mention that he doesn’t speak Polish, and none of the factory workers spoke English? But as Kirkham employee Eric put it, “math is the universal language.” Great, so communication is kinda/sorta/not really handled. But wait, there is also a severe shortage of paper (yes like paper to write on) in Poland. So the two parties are literally tracing measurements and equations in the dirt outside the factory with a stick. This really happened. Are you starting to get a sense of how monumental it is that the finished product not only somehow had the correct number of doors and headlights, but is such a faithful replica that Carroll Shelby himself buys Cobra bodies from Kirkham?

You want one now? Great, so order one up and the Polish wizards will hand form the body and attach it to the frame of your car. Next, it is sent to Utah for finishing. There one very talented man spends 2 weeks filling, sanding, and polishing your car; once again all by hand. After all the mechanicals and interior are attached, only a total of 10 to 13 people have touched your new car and barely a month has elapsed. Drop in the crate motor of your choice and you are now ready to terrorize your neighborhood.

When you inevitably start doing donuts you might feel and appreciate some of the suspension tweaks Kirkham has seen fit to install on their replicas. They have evaluated many of the original components and seen areas where they can improve upon the original car. Eric summed it up this way: “We put new technology in an old car.” This is all part of the big trend in the last decade to improve the handling characteristics of the original Cobra. Their suspension upgrades are so renowned that many owners of lesser Cobra replicas have chosen to buy Kirkham parts to improve their cars’ handling characteristics.

Alright enough stalling already, you want to know what these cars are like on the road. Let me tell you they are epic when in motion.  The noise, oh the noise… Explore the gas pedal and your hearing explodes as the horizon ahead turns into tunnel vision. The body dances with each revolution of the cylinders, and the cycle of the cam becomes part of your heartbeat. This thing is scary, but not in the way I thought it would be. I’m in a replica with 400 hp that has been purposefully tuned and set up to act and feel like an original 60’s era Cobra. Let me rephrase that – the car I’m in has purposefully terrible brakes, outdated suspension, and a rough feel to it. Even with all this, I found it perfectly comfortable cruising through town and being stuck in traffic. Give a Kirkham some space though, and even at half throttle you will rocket forward with the kind of gusto few on this world get to experience. If you plan on owning one of these, you’re going to have to get used to braking before a turn, idling through the apex, and only getting on the gas when the road ahead is both straight and clear. This is where I got scared. Not on a sweeping left hander or halfway through a barely controlled drift but on a perfectly straight and level road. Rocketing from 20 to 80 in the shortest seconds of my life and hurtling towards the BMW X5 ahead with us having purposefully bad brakes tends to do that to me. God I want this car. I want it in my life all the time forever and ever. I love it more than I’ve ever loved anything. Forget everything you know about motoring, speed, and what life should feel like. Imagine surfing through a supernova while drinking a slurpee and shouting “kowabunga” and you are still nowhere close to how epic you will feel in one of these cars.

So you knew I was going to say all that, because you already knew what the 427 Cobra is all about. So why did you read the last 1,108 words? You did it because it’s an icon and you’ve always wanted one. Well, now you know which one to get. Kirkham Motorsports makes the finest reproductions of the giant killing 427 Cobra currently available. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to start searching my couch for $60,000 worth of loose change.

By Adam Kaslikowski, Photos by David Tanner

After years of fielding requests from fans of this site, we have finally decided to try a video review of a motorcycle. While it’s true that I’ve only been riding bikes for about 2 years, and am not quite as well versed in 2-wheelers as I am with the “quads,” I figured we’d take BMW’s newest “Streetfighter” bike out for a ride to see what it can do. The F800R is a naked sport bike designed to compete with the Ducati Monster, Aprilia Shiver, and Suzuki Gladius (AKA SV650). These bikes are designed for urban utility as well as canyon carving fun. So, how does the F800R stand up to the competition? Hit the jump to find out.

Sometimes the future doesn’t so much explode onto the scene as much as it silently creeps into our reality. Quiet evolution has a way of consistently trumping boisterous revolutions. Internal combustion engines have progressed and changed constantly since their introduction into the automobile, and now with the Chevy Volt they have been downsized to a supporting player to the “so-hot-right-now” electric motor. Is the Volt part of this progress of the automobile or a hybrid distraction? Continue reading to find out…

I want to start out by casting aside all the vitriol, rumor, and hype about his vehicle and examine it as I would examine any other Chevy; as a car. It’s got four doors like a car, a gas cap, steering wheel, and power windows too. It doesn’t fly, hover, glow, or do magic tricks – sounds like a car to me.

As a car, the Volt does its job rather well. The interior is on par with other high-end Chevy’s (which is to say fairly good and improving by each generation). Comfortable seats flank the faux transmission tunnel which is actually part of the battery pack. There are near equal parts soft-touch and hard grainy plastics. The white center console overshadows the cheaper parts of the cabin with its sheer modernity. Glistening white like an iPod and populated almost entirely by touch sensitive buttons, the center stack is clearly the centerpiece of the Volt’s interior.

All information is conveyed to the driver by a pair of LCD screens, one above the center stack and one replacing the analog dials traditionally directly in front of the steering wheel. Freed from having to show RPM’s, oil and water pressure, the driver’s display instead shows battery range, gasoline range, and how your driving is affecting the battery – economical, draining, or in the case of using the brakes, charging. The central monitor is in charge of such varied tasks as radio display, further battery information, GPS, and HVAC.

Heading outside, the Volt out-moderns the Prius with its clean lines and aggressive stance. The entire car seems to be leaning forward, ready to pounce. Instead of the Prius’s jellybean look and 15″ rims you get a well styled reverse light that more than anything else apes the exhaust of a CTS-V coupe or a Lambo. In keeping with the overall theme of the car, the concept of the exterior is a traditional compact car with some cutting edge features. The wrap-around tail-lights, solid front grill, and charging port adorn a body that could otherwise be the next Chevy Cruze.

The vital statistics are as follows: The Volt has a total of 149hp with 273lb-ft of torque – get used to seeing higher torque than horsepower numbers with electric vehicles. 0-60 is undertaken in 9.2 seconds up to a top speed of only 100mph. Gas mileage numbers get a little confusing with range extender hybrids, but real world drivers are reporting 36mpg after the battery is exhausted; good, but certainly not great. If you want to avoid getting worse mileage than a diesel Golf, you’ll need to keep within the Volt’s electric-only range of +/- 25 miles.  Do this and you should be seeing your local gas station once every two months. Full range with a topped off battery and gas tank is estimated at 379 miles by the EPA.

So what’s the Volt like to drive? In a word, eerie. Your muscle memory, reflexes, and subconscious are all ready for the same old routine after you slip into the normal seats behind the normal steering wheel. What happens next, though, is anything but normal. Select drive and press the accelerator and it seems like nothing is happening. There’s no sound and no revs (no Tachometer after all…) but wait, the world is moving around you. By George, you’re moving! Once you recalibrate your senses and stop searching for engine noise you are back into familiar territory. The torquey-ness of that electric motor (full torque available from 0 RPMs) gives the Volt some grunt that is unexpected in a compact car. This thing is pretty gutsy up to about 40mph, then the car’s weight begins to make itself known. On the freeway, it seemed to have a little less pull than other compact cars but nothing that made passing an unwise endeavor.

All in all though, were back in normal car territory. Good turning circle, quiet ride, just-okay suspension. Driving a Volt is like driving a Civic or Camry and anyone who has had their license for more than a week will feel right at home. The Volt then is that kind of evolution that improves upon the species in a subtle but profound way. Who knew the future would look this ordinary?

-Adam Kaslikowski

Special thanks to Jerry Seiner Chevrolet

If you want to get hold of cheap car insurance without the expense or dedication of annual quotes, it may be much better for you to get a short-term deal. While you’ll need a comprehensive 12-month policy if you’re planning to drive all year round, temporary insurance at Autonet means you can drive in bursts and not have to pay for lengthy time away from your vehicle; it also means you have cover for specific jobs.

Temporary car insurance is a form of short-term car or van insurance that insures you to drive between one and 28 days. It is typically used by companies who need people to do short-term jobs in vans, or by car buyers looking to drive from a dealer forecourt or previous owner’s home prior to buying a full policy. Often, individuals will insure a friend or relative borrowing a car, or when hiring a vehicle like a moving van.

The benefits of temporary insurance are very tangible. It allows you to insure additional vehicles, cover more than one driver and even help protect a no-claims bonus as short-term car or van insurance means you can use vehicles without risking existing discounts on other policies.

Meanwhile, many other people look to use it to take a test drive a new or used car, or have access to particular benefits of an insurance policy to suit a long trip or specific kind of vehicle. Most people opt for one-day cover when buying temporary cover, though businesses tend to extend these policies to as long as 28 days.

Whatever your plan is, be safe in the knowledge that temporary car insurance is available to anyone with a full UK driving license, though cover can be subject to age restrictions and any penalty points you are subjected to.

The most important thing to do is ensure you carefully consider the period the cover you need, though allowing for the cover to be extended at the end of the agreed period if necessary. After all, you never know how long you’re going to need it – as long as it’s not too long, however, as this undermines the reason for taking it out in the first place!

(Featured Article)

Car Insurance

Diesel trucks are awesome, and for much of the United States, they are a way of life. The diesel-powered Super Duty pickup can haul your wares to market, tow your camper or race trailer, and haul your family around in total comfort. Heavily-optioned trucks, such as the Ford F450 King Ranch, carry sticker prices well into the $70k range when fully equipped and are more luxurious than many European sedans, while certainly offering more utility. But are they faster than those European sedans?

Some of them are, yes: the fast diesels, trucks with the boost cranked way up, throwing down quadruple-digit torque figures and running 10-second quarter miles at the weekend bracket races. I once was fortunate enough to drive one of those trucks, an 11-second Dodge Ram 3500 Dually, and the thrust of it at launch, plus the jet-like sound of the massive turbos spooling up sent chills down my spine. Imagine, rolling up to the drag strip and simply embarassing a Ferrari, ZR-1, or Nissan GTR owner in a 5,000 lb truck? It happens all the time.

Drag racing is one thing, but we don’t hear much about top speed runs in diesel trucks, until today. Hajek Motorsports, in a “mostly stock” 2011 Ford F-250, ran 171.23 mph on regular pump diesel, and 182 mph on B20 Biodiesel at Bonneville this week, shattering the previous record of 130 mph. Let that marinate for a second. One. Eighty. Two. In a Super Duty. Now, I know the new 6.7L Power Stroke engine is impressive out of the box. It’s the quietest American-made diesel engine I’ve ever heard. It makes a staggering 400 hp and 800 lb/ft of torque from the factory, a figure the average Bentley Mulsanne owner would be jealous of. But what kind of modifications would it take to increase the F-250′s top speed by over 60%?

According to Ford:

The 2011 Ford F-250 is mostly stock, with changes to the high-pressure fuel pump, fuel injectors and turbochargers for more fuel flow. The compression ratio was also modified.

The body work seems completely stock, save for the shaved side view mirrors and aerodynamic wheels. I can’t imagine how terrifying amazing it must be to achieve that kind of speed in a 6-seater pickup truck, but hats off to Hajek Motorsports for their outstanding achievement.

If you’ve ever ridden a motorcycle, you have a hatred for bad drivers few people understand. When I had a motorcycle my middle finger got more exercise than Ron Jeremy pleasuring 11 women at once (No feet allowed. This isn’t soccer). Simple driver errors like sudden lane changes, exiting driveways or crossing double-yellows all pose a threat to cars, but to a person on two wheels whose only protected by 4mm of dead cow skin, it can be lethal. Simple driver errors can kill bikers. Literally. And not that “That puppy was so cute! I literally died.”

That’s why the good people at ICON Motosports took it upon themselves to make their own PSA. It’s the best educational video I’ve ever seen. Using a Porsche 928 and a reject from a Lt. Dangle audition, they show you what drivers commonly do wrong and how dangerous it is for bikers. But the real fun starts when the bikers take revenge upon the offending Porsche. Oh how I envy these guys. If you want to know what goes through a biker’s mind when he almost gets taken out, this is it. Enjoy the video, but more importantly, pass it along to friends and family. Tell them to look past the comedy and fire and maybe they’ll think twice before they dart out of that parking lot.

- Zack

We here at The Smoking Tire have been obsessed with the film SENNA for several months now, and we are fortunate enough that the film’s Director, Asif Kapadia, was willing to stop by and talk about the film and its protagonist, Ayrton Senna with us. Exclusive video after the jump.

SENNA is in theaters in Los Angeles and New York now, and opens in the following cities next weekend.

-MF

SENNA, the amazing documentary film about the greatest racing driver who ever lived, comes out tomorrow. We at The Smoking Tire are fortunate enough to not only have seen the film, but also interviewed the director, Asif Kapadia (video coming in a few days) about what it took to create the film. However, even though we have seen it, that has only been in our house while smoking bongs on the couch. As they say, there’s nothing like the big screen. So, we’re taking the whole crew to the Landmark Theatre in West Los Angeles on Sunday 8/14 for the 7:20 PM showing. Consider this an official invite to anyone in the LA area who would like to join us in experiencing SENNA in theaters.

Link to buy tickets here

We know it’s been a little quiet around here recently. Those of you who follow Matt on Facebook or Twitter know that The Car Show on Speed just wrapped and Matt just had back surgery, so between TV and recovery we haven’t been making many videos. But good news TST fans: The Car Show is done for the season and Matt’s all fixed up now so we’re back! And we’ll have many more videos in the coming months. And here’s the first one, the 2011 Dodge Challenger SRT 392, the newly updated version of the Dodge Challenger SRT8. With 470 ponies on tap, this baby was born to drag race, and as pretty and comfortable as it is, has just gotta be road tripped. Hit the jump for the video.