Put Him in Camp Bucca

While Iraq is often thought of an oppressive society that put it’s social progress on “pause” about 2000 years ago, their reality TV shows are 100% up to date, especially when it comes to pranks. Punk’d, move over. Jamie Kennedy Experiment? Forget it (you probably did after the pilot aired). Iraq has a TV prank that trumps them all.

The show is called, “Put Him in Camp Bucca.” It’s been on since the beginning of Ramadan, and has been criticized by newspapers for being too close to daily Iraqi life. In the show an innocent driver is “discovered” as being tied to terrorism and then told he is going to prison for life. Sometimes the security officers will even plant a fake grenade or weapon in the car. The “funny” part is watching the panic wash over the person’s face, and sometimes hearing them profess their innocence, pleading with the officers.

They say Britain has it’s own brand of humor, I guess this is the face of the emerging Iraqi comedy movement. Maybe next year they’ll rip-off Minute to Win It, but you have 1 minute to diffuse an IED?

Click to Watch (not in English)

When you hear the name Buick, what comes to mind? If you get a senior’s discount you’ll sit back on your hemorrhoid cushion and say, “Ah yes, fine automobiles. All the luxury of a Cadillac without drawing attention from the IRS.” If you’re reading this while living in a house that’s worth 50% of what you bought it for, you look at Buick the way Teddy looked at Matt Damon in Rounders; you owe me some f***in’ money. For me the brand reminds me of my grandma, because she’s the only person I’ve ever known who owned one. Sure, Tiger Woods did, but only because his endorsement deal made him.

Basically, Buick’s have always had a reputation as being a car for old people, but after spending a few days with the 2010 Buick Lacrosse CXS, they might have been on to something.

It all goes back to the name, “doctor’s car.” Doctors frequently bought Buicks because they had all the luxury and comfort of a Cadillac, without the image of being an expensive car. So doctors could make house calls without their patients second-guessing their bill based on the doctor’s transportation. What the Buick was was an entry-level luxury car. Over the years their reputation has changed (doctors’ cars tend to wear German or Japanese badges now) but the idea never did. Buicks are still an Armani suit with a less pretentious label.

The Lacrosse CXS is just that. With an MSRP of $33,000, and a standard features list as long as Linsay Lohan’s CVS Pharmacy receipt, it’s an incredibly luxurious and well-equipped car. For the base price you get; leather seats (heated and cooled too), satellite radio, power everything, variable assist steering, parking assistance, fog lights, a heated steering wheel with audio controls, heated mirrors, dual-zone climate control and even an automatic rear sun shade. I found little use for the last item, but it tells you that Buick went all-out to provide it’s customers with every creature comfort on this planet at almost no extra cost. (By comparison, Buick’s main competitor, the Lexus ES350, makes you pay extra for leather.)

Under the hood is a 3.6 liter V6 feeding 280hp and 259 ft lbs. to the front wheels through a 6 speed automatic. It’s not a ton of power, but I had no problem merging with the over-caffeinated drivers on L.A. freeways. The power-band felt huge, and the top-end was good enough to have me wondering if a gremlin had bolted on some turbos during the night. It won’t do 150mph on the autobahn, but triple digits are more than accessible. Use a light foot and you’ll get 27mpg on the highway, with barely a whisper coming through the 5mm ultra-quiet windows. Not bad for a 4,200lb cruiser.

It also appears that Buick has been to art school.  The 2008 Lacrosse was a boring, dated, rounded mess. It looked like a dead fish laying in a heap at Safeway. This new design has some panache. It has a tall belt-line, nice creases and a great stance. Some of the chrome accents are a bit much (although the 3 “speed holes” are finally gone), a little too “This car is nice! We swear!” But overall I think it’s better looking than comparable cars from Lexus, Acura or Nissan. It’s a big, bold car, just like a Cadillac.

On the road it’s surprisingly good. Despite being 4,2000 lbs and longer than anything in it’s class, it stayed pretty flat in the corners and handled lane-changes without much discernible body-roll. Sure there will be under-steer at the limit, but it’s a Buick Lacrosse, so if you’re taking this car “to the limit” it’s probably because your parents let you borrow their car, not because you own it. AWD is optional, but even with the FWD-whether accelerating in a corner or from a stop-there was plenty of grip. It may not have the moves to keep up with the Bavarians, or be as fun as the rear-drive G37, but taken for what it is, it’s hard to find fault on the road.

The only options on our car were the Audio/Sat NAV system ($2000), Xenon lights ($700) and the heads-up display ($350) for a total as-tested price of $36,805. Fully loaded the Buick costs only a little more than the competitions base price.

As an entry-level Luxury car the most important aspect of this car is the interior. People don’t buy Rolls Royces or Bentleys for their looks or skid-pad score. They buy them because the interior is more welcoming and relaxing than a hot tub after 2 martinis. As shown above, Buick went all-out to provide a warm and comfortable environment to travel along in. As a whole the interior is a very nice place to be. Thick glass drowns out almost any outside noise, as did the suspension.

The materials are all pretty good. The fake stitching along the dashboard is one of many small details that add up to trick you into thinking you’re in a more expensive car. At a quick glance all you see is leather, wood and chrome. The blue accent lighting, soft leather seats and simple, well-laid out center console put your mind at ease. When you drive this car nothing will be loud, intrusive or complicated, just as a luxury sedan should be.

It wasn’t completely faultless though. The shifter is a bit too far back, making the move to Drive like pulling back a bow-and-arrow. The chrome around the NAV looks great, but it’s perfectly angled to shoot sun in your eye no matter what time it is. There’s also some parts that look straight-up old, and thus out of place. Amid the leather, new wood and Nav system you have what looks like a headlight dial from the 80′s and the cheapest window/mirror control I’ve ever seen.

There was one “wtf?” interior piece; the arm rest. People like resting their left arm. People also like being able to close the door. Buick knew this, but felt there was a problem with one piece capable of both. So they bolted a bi-planes wing to the door. There’s the recessed part you use to close the door, and then they put a narrow armrest right above it. What they ended up with is two things that do neither job well. The armrest is too narrow, and to close the door you have to thread the needle into this little hole, like Luke Skywalker taking down the Death Star. I can already hear the sound of annoyed grand mothers and uncles out there, “Where’s the damn handle?” It’s a door handle people, don’t get fancy.

It’s not the most exciting or artistic design, but it’s easy to use and nice enough to look at. Buick didn’t push too many boundaries (except that arm rest) in here, but with GM against the ropes it’s not the time to take chances. As is true with girls, I’ll take a functional, logical interior over a daring, useless mess any day.

At the end of the day, the number-one priority for an entry-level car is comfort. These cars won’t ignite your eyes, ears or soul, but you’ll drive to your destination in a warm, tranquil environment that has every gadget you could need. With that criteria in mind, the Buick Lacrosse CXS is a good car. It drives well, it’s quiet as a church inside and it’s not bad to look at. The interior isn’t perfect, and the body won’t cause a Twilight-esque stampede of women, but that’s true of all the cars in this class. The Acura TL looks ridiculous, the Lexus is as much fun as an empty, white room and the G37 isn’t as spacious.

What you get from any luxury car at this price is compromise on four wheels. None of those cars are great, none are terrible. Like choosing a flavor of NyQuil, none will taste amazing but they will all get the job done. With better pricing, standard equipment and more room than any of the others, the Buick CXS will do the job just fine and probably go down the easiest.

There’s something about convertibles that make people feel glamorous, exclusive and special.

I don’t get it.

My feelings on Volvo and convertibles are similar: strong, passionate indifference. The term”open air motoring” makes me think of an old British man trundling down a road in the cold fog on wheels made of wood. There are exceptions of course, but for the cars with a roof made of metal.

It’s the same for Volvo. My family has owned 3, and while the 2 wagons (a ’91 940 and a 2008 V50) have provided perfectly acceptable transportation, that’s all they provided. The only one that makes me feel anything is my dad’s 1972 P1800ES, and that’s because every time you climb in you get to play “What part will stop working today?”

But when I picked up a 2011 Volvo C70 from Matt’s house it was clear Volvo was hell-bent on changing both of my preconceptions.

As a hard-top convertible it was offering the best of both worlds. Volvos were to cars what the Scranton Office of Dunder Mifflin is to the Empire State building and only one attracts tourists.  That’s starting to change.

Re-designed for 2011 and dressed in Flamenco Red with simple but handsome 5 spoke wheels, it’s a pretty good looking coupe. The nose has been upgraded with more aggressive headlights, helping distinguish this car from the front of the S40, V50 and C30 (A.K.A. cheaper models).

The new headlights bulge and curve back along the fender, like an angry over-caffeinated Camry. It’s no Alfa, but it’s an improvement from the 2010 nonetheless. Looking at those is actually a homeopathic remedy for insomnia. It doesn’t just make the C70 look sportier, it looks more expensive, and that’s never a bad thing. (Although the new badge seems to have been a design collaboration between Lil’ Jon and Austin Powers.

The competition in this market primarily comes from BMW and Infiniti, and with the new design the C70 holds its own. I think the design is more well-rounded than the BMW, and it doesn’t lose anything when the top is down either. Some convertibles only look good with the top down (or up), but I found the Volvo to be equally appealing roof up or down. After class one night I asked a few girls (late 20′s, early 30′s) and they all liked it, calling it cool but mature. “It’s a good-looking car and you know the owner of it isn’t trying too hard. It’s nice.”

Powering the C70 is a brilliant 2.5 liter inline 5 cylinder turbo. I love this engine. It only makes 227hp, but the 236ft lbs of torque comes on at only 1,500 RPM (read:torque steer) so from a stop this mature-mobile moves. It yanks you forward with a deep thrum and the long gears of the 5 speed automatic make it a really practical power-train for both city and highway use, while providing us with a combined 26mpg. The thrust slows eventually, but the owners of this car aren’t the kind to complain about a power-band that falls off at 90mph, and triple-digit speeds are still plenty accessible.

Inside is the same story as the exterior: hardly flashy but very nice nonetheless. One thing Volvo does well is functionality, so all the buttons are clearly marked and where you’d expect. The different textures and colors look good next to one another and there’s plenty of stowage.

It’s also filled with freebies. Volvo said that although the 2011 is only $40 more than the outgoing model, it has $4000 in upgrades. Among the standard features are leather, SAT radio, 8 way automatic seats and BlueTooth compatibility.

Rear seat room is good, as long as you’re not sitting behind Matt and with the top up the trunk is on par with many sedans, making it an all around good traveler. Just don’t expect to do a sun-filled road trip, because although the Volvo’s top-down trunk space beats the fanny-pack sized area of the G37, it’s still on par with the carry-on space you get on a plane.

Our car also had Volvo’s BLIS (BLind spot Information System), which uses sensors mounted under the side mirrors to alert you when a car is in your blind spot. It works fine, but I wish it alerted you a little earlier. My concern is people will assume that unless the warning light is illuminated they’re free to change lanes, and while you wouldn’t hit the car next to you, you’d come close to polishing their license plate. It’s not a substitute for driver awareness.

As nicely appointed as it is, there’s room to improve.  While those nice complimentary leather seats were comfortable, don’t depend on them keeping you in place, my toilet has more lateral support. Some of the plastic look dated and cheap, the gauges get lost in a sea of black plastic, and the screen in the center stack is tiny. Size matters here because this screen provides you with all the information from the phone, HVAC, stereo and car settings and due to it’s TI-82 sized display it can only show one thing at a time. That won’t be an issue when the top is down though, because the glare makes it hard to ready anyway.

But the winner is still the SAT/NAV, i.e. total garbage. You can only navigate it with a remote, slowing the use of the already over-complicated system further. And in a car made by people so focused on safety they probably wear life jackets on a Slip-and-Slide, I can’t think of anything more accident prone than giving people a remote to look for as they get lost.

Volvo said they essentially added $4000 of upgrades for free, so the cost-cutting had to happen somewhere. For example the old center stack was made from solid aluminum, but has been replaced with a piece of plastic covered by some shiny plastic. It looks good new, but I doubt it will hold up over time.

This is probably because the topic of lateral G’s falls far down the list of a Volvo production meeting. Although the suspension is tight and body roll isn’t atrocious, it’s turn-in leaves a lot to be desired. You know when the UPS man knocks on your door at 8am and you get up, get dressed, and stumble to the door? That’s the C70. You ask it to turn now, but it needs a minute.

You’d think that would mean it drives like a boat floating on pudding, but it doesn’t. It’s a strange no man’s land. The firm springs that keep it from wallowing around corners mean every ridge, bump and crack is sent through the chassis, gently rattling my grey matter. It wasn’t loud or jarring, but every change in pavement was felt and announced with a very muffled but noticeable sound. Imagine your neighbor has a garage band, but they “sound proof” the garage with egg cartons. You don’t hear each note clearly, but you know when they play.

There’s a simple way to get rid of those muffled screams from the chassis though; put the top down and let the noise escape. Raising and lowering the top in the C70 is pretty simple: put the car in park, depress the brake and push down a little plastic button. 29.4 riveting seconds later and the clam-shell trunk closes with a *whump*, the windows roll themselves up, and you’re done. In my 3 days with the car I noticed only 1 real annoyance: You can’t raise or lower the top while in Drive.

It doesn’t matter if you’re going 2mph and surrounded by EMTs, it won’t let you. I found this very annoying one day after putting the top down and getting stuck in traffic on the 405. Knowing it takes a full 30 seconds to raise the top, I was forced to sweat it out for an hour. Volvo would say it’s for safety reasons, but I  point to that stupid NAV remote and ask that they fix this.

Once it’s all said and done though, it’s almost as comfortable as when the roof is in place. The cabin is relatively wind-free up to about 75mph, and the stereo (USB and aux. jack come standard) overcame road and traffic noise with clarity and ease. Apparently Volvo built its heater system out of wind-tunnel fans and molten lava, so you could drive with the top down all year, even in Minnesota. Just as it does aesthetically-save for cargo space-the car loses nothing when the top is stowed.

The G37 and 328i, both start at $45k. From a performance standpoint the G37 has the better drive-train, and the Bimmer handles better, but for a price. A 328i with just BlueTooth, heated seats and NAV will set you back 50 grand, and that’s with ugly wheels, leatherette seats and a standard stereo. Get drawn into all the pretty option boxes and you can easily spend $60,000. It might rive better, but it’s not as pretty as the coupe or (for the money) as well-equipped as the Volvo.

Climbing in for my last drive I paused to consider whether I should drive with the top up or down. And that’s the key. They give you options. Sure it’s not going to handle as well as a true coupe, but most people don’t care about lateral grip so they basically get two cars in one.  And unlike soft-tops (which generally look terrible with their tops up) you don’t have to compromise on noise, looks, safety or security.

Volvo’s best cars, like the S60R, are like B+ students, always somewhere in the middle but nonetheless very good. And just because a B+ student doesn’t command the highest salary, doesn’t mean they’re not capable of some very good work.

For what it is, the 2011  C70 is fine. It’s MSRP is $39,950, and it comes with more features than it’s competitors from BMW or Infiniti. Our car had the Dynamic Package, Multimedia Package and Convenience Package, raising it’s price to $46,650.  It’s not super-fast, and it doesn’t handle like sports car. It’s not supposed to. It’s a Volvo.

But it’s also… a Volvo. That means it comes with a stigma; it’s boring and thus, you’re boring. That’d be ok if we were talking about simply “a car” but we’re not. We’re talking about a convertible, and those are supposed to be exciting. Without that, what’s the point? The people shopping for convertibles are looking for something specific, and are willing to pay for it. Convertible people buy fun cars, Volvo people buy the C70.

Ever wish you could go back to 1994 and buy a like new Ford Mustang Cobra?  (No? Me either. – ed) Though this may not be a dream for a lot of people, the Mustang is our eBay find of the week.  What evidently makes this particular Mustang worth its asking price of $39,900, is the fact that it was an Official PPG Cart Series Pace Car.  It has just 3,800 miles and it is finished in an umm… interesting shade of sea foam green.  This body style isn’t the most sought after today, but you have to remember that this was the first year for replacing the oh so 80s fox body style.  In 1994, there were only 1,000 Cobra Convertibles, and all were finished in red.  This car was provided directly from the factory for PPG to produce a limited edition Cart Series Pace Car.  If you were wondering what the powertrain in this beast is, it is of course the five-oooh (well 4.9).  In this application, it has 240-hp and a 5-speed manual.  0-60 is a blazing 6.9 seconds and the quarter mile is just over 15 seconds.  It’s crazy to think that currently, even the V-6 mustang has more power than this top of the line mustang, from just over 15 years ago.  This is a true testament to how much automotive engineering has improves over a few years.

When you take a look at the option list for the standard 1994 Convertible Cobra, you will also appreciate how nice cars are today.  Some of the options were: air conditioning, illuminated entry, cruise control, CD player, rear window defroster, and remote keyless entry.  These are all standard features a majority of the cheapest cars available today.

When it’s all said and done, the best thing about this car is how much this color and body combo would stand out on the road.  It’s also safe to bet that this Mustang sounds like a proper V-8 Mustang and it should hold it’s value, due to the rarity.  This could be one of those cars that you could see on Barret-Jackson in 10-20 years and say, wow, I could have bought that car for under 40 grand back in the day.

[Source: Ebay]

Motorcycles are incredible. They can be called beautiful and bad-ass simultaneously. They provide an almost un-matchable thrill on the road and for a few thousand dollars you’re faster than a car 100 times as much. They have nostalgia, character, history and mystique. But despite their economical gas mileage, they are not exactly practical. This couple was spotted today heading back from Los Angeles Airport. You know what’s handy for taking people and luggage somewhere? Cars.

Now I’d like give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe this was one of those emergency situations where on the day of your un-refundable 2 month trip to Hawaii your car grenades, and you’re forced to load your weekend cruiser the way a family of 11  piles on a moped in India and make a mad dash for the airport. Unfortunately the smiles they had on indicates this is a regular thing for them.

Can’t say I’m that surprised. She’s wearing a reflective vest during the apparently poorly lit hour of 2pm, to make her more visible and thus, safer. Yet she chose the “road-rash-friendly” fashion item, the jean short; it’s clear logical purchases escape them.

-Zack K

The category of so-called “super sedan” is one of my favorites. The e55AMG, M5, XFR, CLS AMG, etc. I just plain like them. With 4 doors, big seats and often loaded with gadgets they provide comfortable, practical daily transportation. But underneath their often demure exterior is an athleticism usually reserved for cars with fewer doors and an appearance that’s usually not both wife and mom approved. If you come home with a loud car that has no back seat, suspension of granite and less trunk space than a  kangaroo, come with your debate points memorized and organized on PowerPoint, you will need them.

This is not the case with the super-sedan. It’s safe, comfortable, has plenty of room for company and because it looks like a car-not a Hot Wheels toy-your better half won’t be able to say, “What if I need to drive it? I’ll look ridiculous.” (This problem can be cured with the pill, Idontwantyou Drivinit, sold over the counter.)

If you can’t afford the $100k price tag that usually accompanies the great sedans of today, not to worry, for we have found a substitute that we would happily park alongside any of the modern cars in our Dream Garage; the 1992 Mercedes 500E/E 500. Matt found the one above on Ebay and despite having over 50k miles on it, it looks as fresh as if it had just leaped off the pages of a 1992 TIME Magazine ad.

The 500E was-and still is- a phenomenal car. It was built on Mercedes highly-praised W124 chassis. The W124 was  built when German engineering costs were extremely high, so it was very reliable. (Some cars with this chassis even reached 1,000,000 miles). So the chassis was good, but someone else had a hand in making it great; Porsche. While Mercedes handled the engine building, Porsche was given the job of perfecting and assembling the suspension and chassis, making this car more than just a sturdy box with a big motor, it was a functioning sports car.

Of course a key component (some may argue the most important) to any sports sedan is the engine. The 500E was fitted witht he 5.0 liter, 32-valve V8 from the SL500. The Euro-spec car (which this one is) had 326hp and 354ft lbs of torque. Those numbers are far from sluggish even by today’s standards. The 500E was good for 60mph in about 6 seconds, and would charge across the 1/4 mile line in just over 14 seconds.

The design of this car goes hand-in-hand with what super sedans are all about; formidable but not ostentatious. This 500E looks as clean as a newborn, and if it drove past you probably wouldn’t notice the 19″ wheels or the polished Remus exhaust. It has upgraded Koni shocks and drilled rotors too, but again, that’s all behind the scenes. It reminds me of the look you get when you walk by a sleeping Grizzly at the zoo. It opens one eye, and just that one say says, “Yeah, there’s a fence, but if I really wanted to I could get to you, but I’m trying to nap. So take your snow cone, and your camera, and your ugly kid, and go feed the fuckin meerkats.”

And while you may not be able to afford the newest 4 door power bomb from Mercedes, a used 500E goes for around 20 grand. Considering these cost $80,000 in 1992, that’s a bargain. With the new suspension, wheels, tires, LSD, brakes and exhaust this car will probably keep up with anything in that price range, along with cars costing far more. Mercedes calls it a classic, and so do we, making it a deserving member of our Dream Garage.

Check out the original ad here.

Are you looking for a 6-wheel drive, 5-speed manual, 4 cylinder high mobility all-terrain vehicle from 1982?  Is your answer an undoubtedly strong “NO”?  Well keep reading, we might change your mind.  It is a 1982 Pinzgauer 712 6×6.  Never heard of it?  Me neither…  After a little research, they are military vehicles that are made in the UK.  They were developed in the late 1960s by a man in Austria, and they have been popular amongst militaries for years.  Specifically, our eBay find has the optional 6×6, and the 4-cylinder gas engine.  It has an insulated box for carrying… well a lot of something you need to keep cold.  The vehicle was purchased in Montreal and it was driven across Canada, but suspiciously, it has never been used off road.  Why one would never take a vehicle like this off road is besides us.  Here are some of the claimed capabilities of the Pinzgauer:  45-degree approach and departure angle, 27-inch fording depth, 43-degree side slope, 3300 lb. payload, 68 mph top speed, and 14-passenger cargo area.  Oh, and it just looks tough.  Though it’s hard to say how reliable the 2.5L engine will be, we can certainly say that this thing would have to be one of the most unique things you could buy for a $14,900.  Obviously on the road, this thing would be a serious dog with just 87 hp and a curb weight of 2.5 tons, but off road we get the feeling it is just one of those things where it will go through just about anything.  Oh, and the power to weight just oh 57 pounds and change per horsepower!!!  For reference the new Five-liter Mustang carries about 8 pounds per hp.

This would be such a unique vehicle to own, we would love to have an excuse to buy this or something like it.  Or if you really need to haul… a lot of fish across Canada?  400 gallons of Ice Cream?  …umm buy this now!

[Ralph Lauren has four of these in his collection, in the following colors: Green, Black, Yellow, and Orange. If you're like us, this is the only chance you have to possibly afford one of the same cars as him. - Matt]

[Source: Ebay]

The question that Matt mentioned- “What is your favorite car?” – is, for me, an all-too-common source of headaches. As soon as you tell someone you love cars, read about cars, or write about cars, you can safely bet your own genitals the next sentence from their mouth is that question.

And it’s something I honestly cannot answer, because “Favorite” is singular, and if you love cars you don’t just love one car, or one kind, or one brand. There’s too many variables to consider, and every car – even those in the same category- is different. It’s like asking, “What’s your favorite memory?” Try to compare and rank losing your virginity to an amazing day in Italy, or that afternoon building a deck with you dad. Like memories, cars vary in their feel and purpose.

Thank god the TST dream garage is like the human brain, lot’s of storage space. Because what I would park next to the brilliant technological beauty that is the MacLaren F1 LM is the 1966 Shelby Cobra 427 S/C.

The story of the cobra is long, but the goal was to build enough street cars to receive homologation from the FIA. Carroll built 53, the FIA needed 100. The dream was over. So where’d the cars go? 21 were sold to race teams for competition, and the remaining 34 had windshields bolted on, paint applied and rolled out for public sale, dubbed the Semi-competition (S/C).

Talk about profiting from the misfortune of others (Like credit card companies, but without the black heart and eye herpes). The public was presented with a 2400lb car that had the now-famous Ford 427 cu. in. side-oiler. It had 485 rib-jarring horsepower, and the car weighed 500 lbs less than it’s rival, the Corvette. No matter what trim Cobra you got in, it was probably the fastest car in your metro area and even 45 years later it hasn’t fallen that far down the ladder.

60 went past in ~4.5 seconds and it would shake the 1/4 mile marker in 12 flat. But the real test of this car’s brutal power was in the 0-100-0 test. A 1966 Shelby Cobra 427 S/C went from dead stopped to 100mph and back to 0 in only 13.2 seconds; a record that stood for 26 years until the Caterham Seven JPE came along in 1991.

Impressive as they are, it’s about more than the numbers. The shape is classic curvaceous goodness. The fenders are huge, book-ending giant side-pipes, creating a shape that is both beautiful and powerful. It balances beauty and brawn better than any car I can think of. The interior is classic British sports car. Plain round gauges, a wooden wheel, and low bucket seats.

I have never driven a 427 S/C, but I have had the joy of driving a fine replica on numerous occasions. It should be the definition for “internal combustion engine” because that’s basically all it is. Manual steering and brakes, no roof, and a body so thin and light it may as well be made out fog. The car shakes, darts, jumps, guzzles gas and exhales clouds so rich with minerals and gasoline you could probably run another car on the fumes. The steering is heavy, the long-handle shifter is weird, deadly snap over-steer(click for video) is ever-present and the weight distribution is akin to Dolly Parton.

But you just won’t care. From the moment I see the car and feel the keys in my hand, I start smiling, and I don’t stop until days after the ringing in my ears has subsided. It’s the only convertible I happily stare at, is visceral as anything, has racing heritage, it’s faster than hell, and it’s an icon. I’ve never had more fun behind the wheel of anything else.

Zack K
Full specs here.Cobra Acceleration

Competition Cobras

Although this isn’t an authentic LM for the history books,  it combines the best of both worlds: The more powerful engine and bodywork with the less noisy snychromesh gearbox from the road car, and a full interior with A/C and a radio.

#73 is such a unique piece of McLaren history, it’s hard to say what the car is actually worth. Given that a nice example F1 would sell at about $1.8 million in today’s market, and estimates for the LM’s are around $10 million, we’d say $5-6 million is a good number for this car.

Thanks, Vinny for the tip!

If you were going to chose a donor car to build into a Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder, what would you chose? Obviously, you’d want something mid-engined, probably a convertible at the very least.  I’d say a Porsche Boxster, since 1st generation models can be had cheap, and at least it has a leather interior and some semblance of performance. Not everyone thinks like me, including this guy. Well, would you believe that underneath this – “e” for effort – bodywork lies a 128,000 mile Dodge Stratus? I didn’t believe it either, but it’s true.

In the seller’s own words:

When the Bizarre Road Sightings began, I felt a little left out. In a city filled with morons, douche bags, crazies, pill-addicted housewives and more “artists” than Xanax prescriptions I had missed out. Matt saw Santa Claus being pulled by a plastic horse with a smoke-stack spine for god’s sake. W.T.F mate?

But out of 143 items there were a few pictures that I had saved for a reason. You don’t take a picture of a Mitsubishi Galant that has had it’s letter re-arranged for nothing.

Yesterday I was trying to find a picture on my phone, and realized it had 143 items in it. “143? What the hell is on here? I have to delete this crap.” I assumed it was the usual array of poorly photographed cars, family, friends and 98 other images of BS that may have been funny or cool at one time, but now were useless. I realized I am basically a dog when it comes to cell phone pictures; “Wow that’s cool! I have to cherish it forever! Hey, look over there there’s a shiny thing! What we’re going where? Ok I wasn’t busy anyway…whoa what’s that!?”

Scroll down to see what the brilliant people of L.A. think is so clever, funny or important that they make it a permanent part of their automobile for all the world to see. It’s a wonder anyone gets laid in this townl…

Yes, you’re reading that right. This brilliant sedan known to the commoner as a Galant, has been pimped a bit. With clever use of  thumbnail or perhaps a razor, this driver has transformed his car into a both a female repellent and magnet. While 90% of women will be offended, burn the image of the driver in their memory and cross the 405 on foot to avoid him/her, 10% of those that see this will be so enraged they’ll probably get out of their car and attempt to kill him/her. So either the driver of this car just plain hates women, or they’ve gotten tired of searching the world for the perfect, enraged, confrontational, physically and verbally abusive woman to settle down and build a bitter and misogynistic family with.

Whenever I’ve owned a crappy or boring car, I admit it. In my entire time owning my Jetta, I never saw another guy driving the same model. My last car was  a 1997 Honda Civic, and Jamie Lee Curtis’s bonus Y chromosome has more balls.  But I admitted to both offenses. This guy bought a Chevy HHR, a horrible attempt at replicating 50′s hot rods, and then decided to not only remind us all what he’s driving (in case the badge falls off?) but that he is in a loving, committed relationship with it. This guy could probably catch his wife cheating on him, and then tattoo her name on forehead and re-new his vows.

You know when you’re a kid and you ask your dad, “Dad, can we get a go kart?” and he replies, “I’ve got a better idea, son, why don’t we build our own go kart! Won’t that be fun?”  It’s fun if your dad is a chassis engineer, but if he is you probably had a go kart when you exited the womb. Owning a plane is fun, but building one out of paper seems a little risky, just look at that Wright Brother.

Am I too close to those cans? I think I'm too close.

When the SMART Car showed up, one of the only cool things I saw was 2 of them parked in 1 parking spot. Sweet, a space saver. Whoever owns this car just plain sucks. People in LA eat up up valuable parking space everyday with moves like this, but it’s usually a new BMW 7 series they’re protective of, or at the very least a full-sized car. There is no excuse for this. Kill your sperm, donate all your ovaries, we do not need you.

There’s not many ways to make a post-69 Impala cool, so clever is the next best thing. Extra points if this guy is a porn-star.

Softball is fun. It’s baseball without the pressure, the strike outs, or the sobriety. But that does not mean you advertise that you play it the same way Hugh Hefner would put, “BNYFCKR” on his limo. Can you imagine anyone pulling up next to this guy and saying, “Oh man! You get to play softball?! With the bases and the big ball and the underhand? For reals? Holy shit that’s so cool, I wish I could do that.” Well if you have a phone and the ability to read the words “Public Softball League”, you can. What’s next, a plate that says, “FOODETR”? Because that’s how exclusive soft-ball is.

You stay classy Los Angeles.

If you’ve ever damaged someone’s car, especially your parents’, you know the feeling it leaves in your stomach. Your stomach sprints out the back door, your lungs puncture themselves and your balls (if you have them) retract, leaving only your terrified heart and brain to take the inevitable verbal blows. Even if you have the volume at 11 in the car, if you simply scrape the car your “spidey sense” goes off, superman loans you his ears and you hear every molecule of paint being peeled off as if it was your own skin.

This moment is always followed by the phrase, “Oh shit.” In fact, archaeologists  traced the root of that phrase back to Rome, when a young boy flipped his father’s newly built chariot.

It’s bad enough if you’re dad is an paper salesman, but what if he was an established automotive journalist?

Peter Cheney is an auto journalist for The Globe, a Canadian Newspaper, but that was only after spending 25+ years as a news reporter, spending time dodging bullets in Afghanistan hunting down stories. In his time as a writer he has won 3 National Newspaper Awards. I don’t know what that means, but I assume it’s a big deal in Canada.

You can read the whole story, through the voice of Peter himself, here (and you should, it’s very entertaining) but I’ll give you a synopsis:

It was the day after Peter’s 26th wedding anniversary. In his garage for the week sat a brand new, 500hp 2010 Porsche 997 Turbo. This was the most expensive car Peter had had the privilege of testing.
His son (Will) came home that afternoon, and wanted to show his friend the car (classic). Peter figured it was fine, since his son was mostly interested in stereos, but when he went downstairs he found his son with that all-too-familiar look of “I just seriously fucked up and am considering running south to America.” Peter soon had a similar look when he saw the car, halfway done tunneling out of the garage like a prisoner at Shawshank.

Peter’s son turned the key just to turn on the stereo, but I guess forgot his own strength and turned it to “Start” at which point the 6-speed equipped car launched itself forward hard enough to blow through the garage door. It hit so hard it ripped the door rails off the house, squashing the rear fender and gouging the hood.

"Dad, are you mad at me?"

The deductible to fix the house? $750 (Which Will paid.) The deductible for the Porsche? $10,000, which Will did not pay. While Peter was figuring out what to do with his son (murder? organ harvest? Forcible viewing of Sex and the City 2?) the fleet manager sent him this photo:

Standing with the bandaged head is Porsche Canada’s PR Manager Laurence Yap. He was driving a Cayenne in the Siberian desert and accidentally tested its durability with a rollover. Everyone makes mistakes.

Obviously it’s a little more embarrassing and ironic for an accident like this to happen to a car journalist, especially since the whole world hears about it. But at the end of the day, kids are kids, people are people, and everyone accidentally plows through a garage at least once. I think the fleet manager-when he showed up at the scene- said it best, “Stuff happens. We’re glad you’re okay. This is only a car. You don’t need a lecture. You already know.” From personal experience I can attest, when you crunch your dad’s car, you definitely “already know.”

Zack K

If you have your own story of accidental automotive destruction, post it below.

Despite the energy crisis and a recession, supercars seem to be getting better at an exponential rate. The future of the automobile is uncertain, making the future of the super-automobile even more shaky. Companies are fighting for a shrinking pie, one that got even smaller with the economic shit-storm of 2009.  But like the raging bull that graces the front of a Lamborghini, no one is going down easy. Each passing year is like another prick from the matador, only infuriating the bull and making it fight harder.

In 2010 the fight shows no signs of waning. There are handfuls of incredibly fast, beautiful and powerful cars coming our way. They are all so good, yet so different, the only answer I can think of to, “Which would you buy?” is “All of them!” And that got me thinking, what would I-or you-buy?

Today I’ve put together a list of 6 of the newest and best supercars of 2010. They all cost $200-250,000, are street legal, go like stink and are true supercars. I want you to read the list. Now close your eyes, and imagine someone just placed $250,000 cars on the table in front of you, and you have to sue that money to buy one of these cars. (You can imagine they have a gun if it helps.)

You can only choose one, and it has to be from the list. I don’t want you to say “I’d buy 2 ZR1′s.” or “I’d buy a Hyundai Accent and invest the rest in moderate-return IRA’s and use that to purchase petroleum opt…” Yes you could build a GTR that’s faster, or a used 996 turbo and build it up to 1000hp. That’s not the point. What would you pick from this list of cars coming to us  in 2010, if you had the cash. Yeah, you better imagine I have a gun…

1. Audi R8 GT

First on the casting couch is Audi’s upcoming R8 GT. Think of this as an R8 “superleggera.” It makes 35 more horsepower than the R8 V10 but thanks to CFRP (carbon fiber reinforced plastic) body panels it also weighs 220lbs less the standard V10.  Thanks to the standard AWD it rockets to 60mph in only 3.5 seconds and tops out at 200mph.

There are a ton of track-oriented options available like a full roll cage, kill switch, cup tires and 6 piston ceramic brakes. Sadly no amount of money will get you a 6-speed manual, as this car is only offered with the R-Tronic transmission. Audi has taken the car that set a new standard for daily-driven supercars and simply turned the “super” knob up a little bit. It’s $256,000 of brilliant engineering that has only perfected it’s racing skill set.

2. Aston Martin V-12 Vantage

Originally Aston Martin had no intention of sending the V12 Vantage to the U.S. Odd, considering we are their biggest market. However enough customers sent enough gift baskets and now it’s headed here. It would have been a travesty to keep it from us. The V12 Vantage was described by Aston’s CEO as their “most agile car with their most powerful engine ever.” It won it’s class at the 24 Hours of Nurburgring while being piloted by the CEO and a team of engineers. People say Astons are filled with passion and soul, and I think that race is a clue as to why.

It has the classic long hood of a true sports car. The 510hp/420 tq. V-12 uses a 6-speed manual transmission to send power to the rear wheels only. Those 2 factors make this the “purist” car in the lineup. 0-60 happens in a brisk 4.1 seconds and the fun doesn’t stop until 190mph. The interior is beautiful without going soft.

The price is $250,000, or for another $13k in bragging rights  you can get the Carbon Black Limited Edition. It may not lap a track as fast as some of the others, and at 3700 lbs it’s also the heaviest, but it is stunning inside and out and you can’t argue with a V12 and a 6 speed.

3. Porsche GT2 RS

If people think the new Cayennes aren’t “Porsche enough” this car should balance that out. The standard GT2 is a 530hp, temperamental beast. It’s essentially the RWD purity of the GT3RS with the engine of a turbo, and the result was terrifying. If that car was scary, this one will simply cause drivers to go into catatonic shock. 620hp. 3,020lbs. 0-60 in 3.4 and the 747-like thrust doesn’t stop until 205mph. It’s simply the most powerful and fastest Porsche ever made, faster even than the Carrera GT.

Upgrades from the regular GT2 include a carbon fiber hood, wing, front splitter and intakes. It has a revised PSM (Porsche Stability Management) system, suspension and brakes. Special tires were made just for this car to handle the combination of grip and acceleration. This car calls back to the “glory” days of Porsche when they had lots of power, no amenities and could rip your head off if you looked at them wrong. It may not burble comfortably around town like a Turbo, but it’s time of 7:18 beat an Enzo around the ‘Ring. It’s like a Carrera GT without the sex appeal and-at $245,000-half the price. (Check out the video.)

4. Ferrari 458 Italia

Although I didn’t love the headlights when it first came out, I will now admit this is the best-looking car in this lineup. It’s angular yet supple, combing the sexy with the sinister. It’s 4.5 liter V8 makes 560hp at a sonorous 9,000RPM, yet somehow manages to make 80% of it’s 400 tq. at only 3,250RPM. Simply incredible. Of course it’s also the nerd of the group, with Ferrari’s E-Diff and F1 Traction Control. All this comes together in the form of 3.35 seconds to 60 and a 202mph top speed.

The interior is very modern-looking combination of creature comforts and racing tools. You can flip through the various settings with the manettino switch on the wheel, changing everything from how soft the shocks are to how hard the 7-speed DCT transmission shifts. You can also listen to music while directed by the SAT NAV.

The 458 is supercar technology at it’s highest, from the biggest name in the business. At $230,000 it seems like a bargain, but you’ll have to hire body guards to watch it 24/7 so you can sleep at night, and don’t forget about those maintenance costs.

5. Mercedes SLS AMG  Gullwing

The SLS was one of the most talked about and followed cars of recent years. Spy shots and speculation were blanketed on magazines and rumors about specs were more prevalent than HPV. Now it’s here, and what a car it is. The boys from Jalopnik put it bes; they expected a luxury car with some track ability, but got a track car that was also luxurious.

The outside, of course, is a call back to the original SL. The nose is longer than Mrs. Streisand’s but makes the overall shape downright gorgeous. I think it’s 2nd in the looks department only to the 458.  I was actually surprised it was priced at $200,000.

That money gets you 571hp and 480 tq. sent through a 7 speed trans-axle and shoved into a 3,571lb box. Its 0-60 time of 3.8s puts it in 5th place, but the top speed of 197 is on par with everyone else. It’s not as razor-sharp as the GT2, but is still fast on uneven roads, something the GT2 RS stumbles on. The soundtrack from the side pipes circles perfection. Gorgeous inside and out, and with doors that will elicit stares from any bystander, this car can turn heads and break necks.

6. Lamborghini LP560-4

Fittingly, the final contestant is a raging bull itself; the LP560-4. It won countless magazine showdowns when it hit the roads, combining beauty, brawn and brains into one incredible package. And because it’s a Lamborghini, it comes with a VIP card of mystique that goes back decades. Because it gets a lot of it’s parts from Audi (trades, rather) it also means the stuff all works. So you can go from 0 to 62 in 3.7 seconds all day long, instead of twice. Like the others, top speed is 200mph.

The body has the angular, aggressive face we’ve come to expect from Lamborghini, and it looks incredible. It’s low and short, and the AWD adds confidence to its agility, a deadly combo. It also comes with a 6 speed, so you can’t call it a video game. At $200,000 it may seem like the best choice; Italian looks and appeal, Audi reliability and serious performance. But it won’t be cheap for long. The options list is longer than the health care bill, and if you pick the wrong (or right?) paint color you’re looking at another $25,000. Just ordering the E-Gear tacks on $10,000. Still, an R8 V10 in an Italian body is difficult to walk past.

So there you have it, 6 of the best cars you can buy for about $250,000. Post below which one you would want, and tell us why. And don’t forget about the gun.

-Zack K

Well, I said something to that effect when I saw this giant yellow bird parked in the suburbs of Santa Monica. As I drove down the street the giant chicken head towered over the other cars on the street, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I assumed the side of the car would say, “Jack’s Chicken Shack” or “Speedy Wings Delivery”, something of that nature.

Nope. Someone just decided to bolt a giant, bright yellow chicken head on their color-matched caddy. As if this giant 4 door land-tanker wasn’t already a ridiculous form of transportation (and no doubt absolute hell to parallel park). Ironically this car probably scares away “chicken heads”, rather than attracting them. One man’s trash is another man’s gold, I guess.

Oakland Raiders fans have the reputation of being…crazy. They’re known for wearing black on black on black, with spiked shoulder pads and crazy masks. It’s like a bad acid trip, as if GWAR’s costume designer got hired by KISS. Apparently that dedication is also shared by the players.

JaMarcus Russell was drafted by the Raiders in 2007, but spent most of his time negotiating his contract ($68 million) and training. His coaches may disagree, but it’s hard to question a guy’s dedication to the team if he’s driving a giant team helmet around. If you’re worth $68M, pass up rocking the usual array of Hummers, Mercedes and Bentleys and instead drive a VW beetle that looks like it should be towing a grill to a tail gate in the parking lot, you love your team. Bets on the top speed? I bet 48mph.

We’re all familiar with the phrase, “He meant well.” It’s usually said after some gives you a crappy gift, or says, “That new shirt is nice, it’s slimming.” That phrase is probably being thrown around the offices of Nissan of North America a lot right now, because of some choice words said by an employee. Chip Goetzinger is the Assistant to the Chairman of North America for Nissan.While trying to defend his company’s policy regarding warranty issues with the 2009 GTR, Chip used some words that would make the PR wish they had Howard Stern’s bleep button.

You see, while Chip isn’t the big dick of N of N.A., he assists Chairman “D”; think of him as the smaller ball. So while his actions aren’t as important or minutely scrutinized as the Chairman, he does have to conduct himself in a way that represents the company well. Even in the seemingly anonymous world that is the car forum.

Chip has been a member of the forum Corner Carvers since 2000. He’s only posted 44 times, making him a “lurker.” Well as they say, quality over quantity, because Chip’s most recent posts were fantastic. Chip was involved in a discussion about GTR transmission failures and Nissan’s response to the warranty claims. He said,

“The whole warranty-voiding fiasco is vastly inflated as well — don’t buy the internet hype. It certainly wasn’t handled as well as it could have been on this end, but the warranties that were voided were egregious abuse. I worked in Parts & Service here at the time, and the driving behaviors of the primary complainer/internet hyper were appalling at best – such as averaging one full-bore race launch (on a cold engine) every 100 miles for the first 4,000 miles.”

That sentence won’t get him a ski-trip invite with the boss, but he was merely trying to point out the failure rate was over-hyped and highly unlikely unless there was extreme abuse. Then another member questioned Chip’s employment:

Momma always said you never question someone’s job. Rather than thinking, “I’ll  assure them I’m an employee, but keep my title hidden to protect myself and the company.” Chip laid it on the line; Name, title, department, I’m surprised he didn’t leave his mother’s maiden name. But he’s only trying to explain to the other members that these claims were due to obvious abuse of the car, and while he understands the frustration, it wasn’t fair to Nissan to fix each car that had been beaten on. He just wanted daddy to be proud.

But Chip thought he was in the virtual reality forum world, where words disappear and your keyboard makes you Tito Ortiz. After a few members accused Chip of being passive aggressive against all who dare insult the GTR, Chip took off his hockey gloves.

That’s just great stuff. Not only does he not really like the GTR (too heavy) and admit the 2009 model had mistakes (a corporate no-no), but he refers to any warranty claimant as a “Parkinson-ridden testicle with arms.” I’ll tell you this, there is nothing your HR dept. and PR reps like more than a sentence that combines a horrible, untreatable illness and a man’s balls into one creative insult. In fact, Nissan PR liked it so much they created a statement just about Chip! I wonder if his mom will put it on the fridge…

Nissan PR’s Official Statement: “Nissan does not condone the comments made by this particular employee. While seemingly well-intentioned, many of the remarks are regrettable and do not represent the company’s views. Nissan’s policy regarding internet commentary is that an employee’s personal opinion must be preceded by a disclaimer that identifies their remarks as such and not necessarily the views of the company.”

While I understand what Chip was saying, we all have to realize anonymity is shrinking. Corner Carvers is a public forum, and if you have a high-profile job you have to conduct yourself accordingly. I doubt Mr. D would have admitted to any mis-handling of warranties, or used called someone a Parkinson-ball.

Still, it could have been worse. If Chip had worked for Chrysler he probably would have just said, “Well, all our cars are pretty bad, and we can’t possibly honor every warranty claim. If you break a LeBaron you’re clearly a  cancer-ridden lesbian with down syndrome.”

-Zack K

I’ve attended a few import car shows recently and noticed a number of odd and confusing trends in the tuner world. Some are strange, some are silly, some are downright offensive. What they all have in common is that they cost a lot of money and are detrimental to the practicality, drive-ability and performance of the car. So we’d like to introduce a new segment called, “Why?”

Today’s focus is the trend called, “VIP style.” Its been popular in Japan for years, and as usual Americans have taken a shining to it. People take Japanese luxury sedans, usually a late-90s Lexus, and modify the body, interior, suspension and -most importantly- wheels to create a Frankken-Lexus luxury car.But like neons and modded minivans, I just don’t get it. The result is what you see here. It’s a car that tries to combine the extreme with the subtle. But like Dolly Parton wearing a turtle-neck, the extreme is far more noticeable than the luxury.

So you buy your Lexus. You drive home thinking, “Man this is comfortable. It’s so quiet and smooth, I feel like I’m in an isolation tank. I’ve never been so relaxed. This is bullshit. Man wasn’t meant to drive in serenity, and it’s up to me to save us.” So what do you do? You buy a set of 22″ rims with an 8 foot lip. Won’t fit you say? Ha, that’s because you were trying to bolt the wheels on vertically so the tire rested flat on the ground. Idiot. All you have to is shove the top of the wheel under the fender and leave the bottom sticking out. As long as there’s 1/2 inch of tire on the ground we’re all good. And don’t worry if it rubs and peels the finish off the rim, that turns girls on.

So I ask the  question, why. Why would you take some of Japans most comfortable, quiet and practical cars and give them so much camber that Lance Armstrong’s bike has more rubber-to-road contact? Can you imagine driving this in the rain? Or over a penny? I’m all for individualism and making a car your own. Sure, a 900hp car isn’t reliable, and race suspension isn’t comfortable on a road trip, but at least that has purpose. This is like taking your Honda Accord, putting the engine from a 1968 Alfa in it, and then driving home on only your rims.

This is a question I posed to myself the other day while reading a comparison test of a VW GTI, Mazda 3 and Kia Forte sedan. The Kia got 3rd place, but was heralded for being a huge improvement over the last one. The author  said, “Kia has learned how to make a car turn. Uh oh.” They loved the Mazda 3, and of course blew their biggest kisses at the GTI (which it deserved). All 3 hold 5 people, handle pretty good,  are well equipped, and any of them is a good (and cheap) buy.

The cars have handling and acceleration that could have kept up with far more expensive cars of the 80s and 90s, and more gadgets than a 2000 Mercedes. A perfect example is the new V6 Mustang. It makes more power than the old V8, gets good mileage, looks good and drives great. It’s 0-60 time of 5.5 seconds would murder a 1975 Ferrari 308′s 6.5 second sprint and it cost $141,000  (adjusted for inflation). In fact, the “sporty” Toyota Sienna I ranted about last month would be neck and neck with Tom Selleck’s favorite prancing horse. It’s simply automotive evolution.

Evolution is nothing new of course. Every year cars have gotten a little bigger, faster, and better. Even the Model T had changes made during its life. For the 1911 model year it got front doors (ok maybe a medium-sized change). But it’s not that the evolution is new, or speeding up. It’s the fact that evolution at the top is slowing down.

When the Ferrai Enzo came out it made waves bigger than when Kim Kardashian forgot the toilet seat was up. In 2002 it set a new record for a production car on Ferrari’s test track. Last year the F430 Scuderia beat that record, and it’s smaller, lighter and cheaper. Sure, the Bugatti Veyron raised the bar of what is possible, but was it that big a jump from the McLaren F1? For a while, as the smaller, cheaper cars evolved, so did the luxury cars and supercars. But I think we’re hitting a wall, and that’s allowing the “pilot fish”, like the Kias and Mazda 3s, to catch up.

In 2007, TIME Magazine made a list of the 50 Worst Cars of All TIme, the most recent one was the 2004 Chevy SSR ( It was just a bad idea, plain and simple. Even if it had driven like a BMW and had the interior of a Rolls, it was just plain stupid). Only 5 cars were post-2000 models, and they were all mistakes from which we learned a lot (Pontiac Aztek; Never again.) If this list was made again in 10 years, or even 30, how much will it have changed.

"And don't show your face here again!"

That’s good news for consumers, it just makes me wonder if there will be a day when no car is truly “bad.” Diesel cars used to be noisy: no longer. FWD cars couldn’t handle, but now they’re pretty good at it. Heavy cars rolled over faster than a heroin-addicted snitch, but now even the 5000lb BMW 550i corners flat. Hell, my friend’s 2004 V8 Toyota 4runner handled better than most pre-2000 passenger cars I’ve driven. Is the future full of quiet, smooth, fast, agile, comfortable cars, regardless of their price or brand?

American cars are catching up in quality and handling, the Germans are catching the Japanese with hybrid technology, and the Koreans are quickly catching up to everyone. Everyone wants everything from their car, and slowly car makers are figuring out how to do that. I mean, there’s a minivan with sport suspension and new trucks handle better than 4 year old cars. We’re heading to an all-inclusive automobile. And as nice as it is to have car quality-in all aspects-getting better, I hope we do have another Pinto, Aztek, or Le Baron. After all, how can you appreciate a sunny day…

…if you don’t see clouds once in a while?

So I pose my question to you: Do you think cars are collectively getting better, and at some point you could be happy with almost any of them? Or do you think we are human, and mistakes-like a 2015 Aztek-will continue to happen?

- Zack K

Yesterday I was blessed and got to see an Alfa 8C Competezione. This is a rare treat because 1. They only made 500 of them, and only 84 ended up in the U.S. 2. It is in my list of Top 10 Cars of all time. I just love it. The design is almost perfect. It has all the traditional coupe traits; a long hood, swooping tail, and sexy fenders. I could sit and look at that car for hours. The interior is equally brilliant. But what really ties the whole car together for me is the sound.

The sound of this car is like a symphony of all the best exhaust notes ever. Growing up around hot rods I think a V8 engine is the best instrument from which a wonderful exhaust note can emanate. V10s sound cool, but they lack the rib-shaking bass that makes me smile. V12 engines sound incredible, but my eyebrows raise at the sound of a V12 because I know whatever is making that sound is expensive and fast. It’s more about what is screaming down the road than the scream itself.

Alfa 8c

But as good as V8s are, they aren’t all special. A Chevy 350 with headers sounds good, but it’s hardly rare. The V8 in the 8C has something else though, underneath the V8 rumble and roar there’s subtle tones that tell your ear, “Wait, that’s not a Corvette…” At times it sounds like a Vette, which is perfectly fine because a Corvette with exhaust sounds straight up nasty. There’s a raw, hollow metal sound that roars out. But the 8c has a sound that tells you it’s something special, a sound suitable for a car with such a limited run. It crackles on downshifts like a Howitzer, it has a lumpy idle, and sounds a few octaves above a Corvette, without losing the intensity. To me, it is a perfect sound and just adds to the allure of the car.

But this is just my opinion. So rather than say, “You’re an idiot. No it isn’t.” Post your favorite exhaust note, and tell us why. Everyone has different tastes in music, so the same is going to be true for cars. Tell me what you think, while I go watch the 8C Top Gear episode for the 11th time.

- Zack K

It was a dark day when we learned that Ferrari, one of the most beloved, respected, praised and famous automakers ever has announced it is phasing out manual transmissions. I knew Ferrari’s F1 style transmissions had been outselling traditional manuals for years, but I never thought they would stop offering them. I have to say it makes me pretty sad.

As much as I love the incredible capability and advantages the dual-clutch style transmissions provide, I still get a huge amount of satisfaction and joy shifting on my own. If you’re taking your car on the track, fine, a DC transmission is a great asset. But if you drive it along the ocean only on sunny days, or maybe to wine country for a weekend, order the manual. Otherwise you’ll spend 80% of the time with the car in auto, and then you’ve basically bought an automatic Ferrari, which is punishable by death. There’s something different about using a real, simple, old-fashioned stick shift that makes any automotive experience better. You’re more connected. I’ve driven some pretty beat cars over the years, but I’d rather drive a $500 car with a manual than a $4000 car that has an automatic.

So I want to know, what do you prefer in a sports car, or any car for that matter? Post comments below.

Lamborghini has invaded the snow-covered territory of Subaru, Audi and Mistubishi. This Gallardo, built by reiter-engineering, has some serious snow tires and one of the most hauntingly amazing exhaust sounds I’ve ever heard. I watched Tiff Needell drift an LP-560-4, tamely, around an ice course, but this is different. Drifting is just how this car stretches before it tears up a ski slow, surely causing an avalanche with the howl it produces. Simply awesome. And soon, this will be cheaper than buying a normal lift ticket. We want to thank our friend ToofaneBatamameezi for hosting this awesome video.

Let’s say you’re hanging out with “Chunk” from the movie, The Goonies. “Chunk” is ugly. He’s a simple, good-hearted giant, but he has a face that looks like a Picasso painting. If you’re with “Chunk”, would having him take off his shirt make him more pleasing to the eye? No. Apparently Porsche believes that two negatives equal a positive, because these patent drawings indicate a convertible Panamera is in the works. Remember our review on the 370Z, and how it was a great-looking top up or down? That’s because Nissan planned to have a drop-top all along, and designed accordingly. I doubt that was the case with the Panamera. At least the roof gave it a slick profile, but with the top down it looks like a bathtub with a Porsche hood. Not good. C’mon Porsche, just quite while you’re ahea… mildly behind.

This is, simply, one of the greatest cars I’ve ever seen. It’s gorgeous, it’s fast, it’s powerful, it’s efficient and it’s technologically advanced. This is the Porsche 918 Spyder Concept, which made it’s appearance at the 2010 Geneva Motor Show. You may have read about it already, you may be seeing it for the first time, but hopefully we are seeing the future of automobiles. Click to read more, watch the video, and voice your opinion.

It’s the future because it is an amazing combination of performance and responsibility. It makes 718hp. It goes 198mph. It will go from 0-60 in under 4 seconds. It gets 78mpg.

What?! Whowhatwherehowwhywhen? I said the same thing when I read about this car, I couldn’t believe my eyes. How can it be so fast, yet achieve an mpg that makes a Prius look like a 1973 Ford F-250 with a fuel leak? It’s a hybrid. The mid-mounted 500hp V8 makes 500hp, and two electric motors in the front make 218hp. At the Geneva Motor Show Porsche showed off it’s new GT3 R HYBRID race car. It too has electric motors in the front, but the power can only be used in small bursts of speed, like that being developed for  F1 cars.

The 918 would have 4 driver selectable modes: E-Drive, Hybrid, Sport Hybrid and Race Hybrid. As you move up the ladder you get more power, better throttle response and, of course, fewer MPG. In E-Drive the car is an electric vehicle, with a small range of 16 miles. In Race mode both engines are at max output, and there’s even an E-Boost button for extra passing power. It’s like the green version of NOS. Awesome.

The technology alone is so exciting it could give Al Gore a personality, but then there’s the looks: it’s beautiful. This car places second only to the exquisite Carrera GT, and it’s a close 2nd. When you look at it you know it’s a Porsche, but it has flavors of SLR and Ferrari in it as well. Perhaps Porsche drove to Italy one night and kidnapped a struggling artist. Whatever they did, it works. It’s modern, but with classic sports car soul. It doesn’t look like a car from the Jetsons, even though the technology could have the “Spacely” name on it. Inside and out, from any view, it’s just a gorgeous car. People have complained about the plastic looking wheels, but that’s a waste of O2. I promise you, when the car comes out, it will be wearing normal shoes.

With a car like this, you don’t need much else. Maybe a wagon or tiny, fuel-efficient SUV for carrying kids or taking road trips, but that’s it. I can lay awake dreaming of a garage with as many cars as Baskin Robbins has ice cream flavors. I would have a car for every job, every mood, every craving. Be it a quiet commuter to save gas and get around, or a huge V8 to shake the ground and snap my neck back, the list was always huge. But the 918 covers so many categories, it leaves little room for anything else. Track car, luxury car, sports car, gorgeous to look at, 200MPH super car, responsible hybrid, loud V8, RWD, brand recognition, “romantic evening” magnet; it has it all.

When you add it all up, this is one of the best concepts ever made. It looks great, without going the fun-house way so many concepts do (Mazda). It’s a supercar, which we always love, but it’s also looking to the future. Instead of another 11MPG, 1000hp Mach 2 supercar from a company ran by 4 billionaires that is no more practical than using a loaded gun for dentistry, this is a car that is fitting for where our world is heading. This shows the world super-cars and hybrid efficiency are not mutually exclusive.  We can have our cake at eat it too. Up until now hybrids have been as exciting as grey wallpaper, and less alluring to look at. The  918 is like a window of hope, a spec of light when you thought you were buried in a cave. I hope this inspires other automakers, because of it does, the future looks bright.

Zack K

918 Promo Video

Tell us what you think below.

I don’t know how many Hot Wheels cars I had as a kid, but it was a lot. Countless hours were spent sliding them around the house and driving them up walls, and my parents were still finding mini monster trucks in the yard when I was graduating college.

While the cars themselves haven’t benefited much from the advancement of technology over the last 20 years, their advertising certainly has. Released this month on YouTube is the “Hot Wheels Custom Motor Cup”, and interactive video series. Remember those choose-your-own adventure books? This is the same idea, but with stop-motion animated Hot Wheels. For 26 days the Mattel team shot 9,181 frames, each of which took over a minute to film. Using multiple angles, and truck-loads of sugar and sand, Mattel put together this interactive video series pitting it’s crazy cars against one another over 3 different courses.

How it works: Click the video and watch it all the way through. At the end you get to pick your vehicle; a sports car or a truck. At each race you get to choose one upgrade (rockets, bigger engine, skis, etc) and then sit back and watch the action. It may seem a little juvenile, but the first time you make an “educated” choice of mods, and lose the race, I guarantee you will try again. With all my automotive and driving experience, losing a race to a lifted Ferrari was no acceptable. And if you have kids, nephews, or want to be able to play Xbox while you babysit, show this game to them. They’ll be occupied for a while.

Minivans are boring, they just are. While they are incredibly practical, and achieve their goals with far more ease and speed than any wagon or SUV could dream of, they have the balls of a minnow. Add to that a driving experience of a Tuff Shed in a pool of Jell-O and you have a vehicle that was anything but exciting.
Toyota wants to change that.

But re-branding yourself-and convincing the public it’s real- is easier said than done. We only have to look at the recent influx of aging actors-turned-musicians as proof (examples). Still, chief designer of the Toyota’s minivan division, Kazuo Mori is going to give it a shot. A former go-kart racer, Mori dreamed of designing sports cars, but for 17 years he’s been drawing slant-nosed garden sheds whose future is filled with Dora The Explorer DVDs and spilled snacks.

I guess after 17 years Mori just couldn’t take it anymore, so for 2010 he tried to inject a little sports-car hormone into the minivan. Chassis tuning, firmer dampers, and a new electronic steering box cut body roll and allow you to actually feel the road (what an idea!). If you want to go Auto-Xing, but also have to babysit your kids, opt for the SE model which gets 17-inch wheels, a body kit, stiffer suspension and further-tuned steering. A 266hp 3.5 liter V6 is available in all trim levels, and hurls, I mean coaxes, the 4300lb play-pen to 60mph in 7.2 seconds.

A new marketing campaign (video here) is drilling the idea that this minivan is “for the guys”, but their casting choice for the commercial is more Larry David than Eric Bana. And while the adds are funny and clever, they hardly highlight the “sportiness”, instead playing to the traditional crowd of parents who are too busy loading 2-ton boxes of diapers and figuring out how to make sure their kids never work in a business that requires body glitter and metal poles to enjoy a fun drive.

After all that work, my opinion on minivans remains the same; they’re boring. This is the sportiest minivan available, but at the end of it all, it’s a friggin’ minivan. Even if it was as fast as a Veyron, it’s body is as exciting as an art smock. It’s not the performance (or lack thereof) that has given minivans their stigma, it’s the overall experience. They are a vehicular muscle relaxer. And while I have nothing against Mr. Mori himself, this makes me even more disappointed in Toyota than ever. Producing nothing but hybrids and mundane family sedans had already put them in the category of books-on-tape excitement. Now they invest time and money, not to mention valuable oxygen, discussing how to make a performance minivan.

Minivans get the job done, and if you want one, fine. But call a spade a spade. Don’t tell me it’s sporty, track-tuned, or was tested on the ‘Ring while playing Homeward Bound 5. And when the sportiest vehicle in your lineup is a minivan, it’s time to take a long look at yourself. Toyota has made some incredible cars in the past, and we want that Toyota back. Let’s all chip in and send Toyota a Ferrari and a Sienna-sized testosterone pill, before they build a “rally-inspired” Prius. Personally I’d rather have a few minutes of inconvenience a day and drive a sport wagon.

-Zack K

For car that’s supposedly coming to an end in production, Pagani sure likes putting out new, special-edition Zondas every 6 months. The Zonda Cinque and Cinque roadster were supposed to be the final edition of the Zonda, closing the book on one of the greatest and most stunning hyper-cars ever built. They were a combination of the Zonda F and Zonda R, with a clutch-less sequential gearchange, intending to be a road-going track car. Right. Because the normal Zonda was just too soft and cuddly for racetracks.

The send off was to make way for Pagani’s next project, currently referred to as the  Pagani Project C9. The C9 is being called, by Mr. Pagani himself, a brand new car, from conception to the 3770 new parts it will be built with. It will have 700hp and and a rib-squashing 737 ft lbs of torque.

So the Zonda Cinque and Cinque roadster(shown below) were supposed to be the firework grand finale before the Zonda was laid to rest.

Well then call the Tricolore the encore, because Pagani just can’t let this phenomenal name go to bed. For the Geneva auto show Pagani created the Pagani Zonda Cinque Tricolore Special Edition. After you read that sentence, be sure to replenish your electrolytes.

The Tricolore’s design pays homage to the Italian air force acrobatic team, called Fecce Tricolore. Think of them as a more outgoing Blue Angels. (Do not, for any reason, let them near your girlfriend.)

To differentiate it from the “normal” Cinque, the Tricolore is made of a carbon-titanium weave, the same material as the upcoming C9. Now that’s how you make a test mule. The body is finished with a clear-blue lacquer that looks like something from a dream after watching Avatar, followed by 8 hours of F1 racing, and leaves you with your jaw on the pavement. Of course, tri-colored stripes run from the nose to the back of the hood, done in the colors of the Italian flag. The price for this “final” edition is a ridiculous, yet perfectly acceptable, $1.77 million. I say that’s totally reasonable for one of the best looking cars ever, as long as there’s a stripe-delete option. You gotta love the way Italians say goodbye.

What happens when the tuning world meets the Birkenstock-wearing world of hybrids? I never thought we’d find out, or at least not for another few years (Those modified Prius are just bags of money on fire, useless). Well we may find out sooner, because Honda is now working with Mugen on a CR-Z Type R. In principle it’s a good idea, if they can find a way to make a sporty hybrid, I’m all for it. But here’s what I don’t get: The Mugen CR-Z will have a 2.0 liter gasoline engine that produces 150hp. Honda had to upgrade the electric motor as well, so it gets a boost from the stock CR-Z’s 20hp to a 50hp unit, raising total output to 200hp. It will also have upgraded brakes, suspension, EM and throttle response. Sounds like friendly fire that will hit the Civic SI right in the face.

I think the CR-Z is better looking than a Civic SI coupe, and now I can get one with the same horsepower as the SI, with the benefits of a hybrid drivetrain and engine stop/start. Even more of a travesty, this HYBRID will make the same power as Honda sportiest models do; 200hp. Honda needed to build a new sports car before this idea was announced, but now I think they need it even more. When your hybrids make as much power as your performance models do (and it’s 400hp), you need to take a look at yourself in the mirror. I’m happy we’re seeing hybrid concepts meant for people that have their adrenal gland intact, but the thought of a CR-Z hybrid having the same set of balls as something labeled “SI” is laughable. Plus, this car will probably cost less than the Civic SI HFP, so it will be a better deal.

Please, Honda, you make amazing cars, just turn the “balls” knob a little to the right. The S2000 is still sitting on a pedestal, but it’s collecting dust. You need a fresh, new, brilliant RWD car that packs more power than a pencil sharpener. Otherwise you will be what Toyota has been for the last 12 years; spineless.

They say, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” We’ve all heard that line, and if you’re like me, it’s an infuriating thing to hear. It’s always said to you after something horrible happens. Perhaps an earthquake knocked down your garage…onto your new car…with Megan Fox inside.

This week we had a Nissan 370z Convertible to review. What better environment is there for a convertible sports car than a road trip? So we drove it to Spring Mountain Motorsports Ranch, in Pahrump, NV. We had planned to pit a Ford GT against a Nissan GTR and use a radar gun to see which could reach the highest speed down the back straight.

The radar gun never came.

Had life given us lemons? For a moment we thought our episode was lost. But then a very nice man from Lamborghini of Las Vegas said 7 very exciting words to Matt, “Would you like to drive the Balboni?” No, life had not given us lemons. In this case, life felt bad about the lemons, so it took them and made us lemon sorbet, which it fed to us while giving us a back-rub.

The momentarily-dark day turned into one of the best  yet. The key players? A Lamborghini LP-560-2 Balboni Edition, a 1000hp Ford GT TT by Heffner Performance and a VF Engineering-Supercharged Audi R8. Check back Tuesday to see the incredible footage, and find out who was the fastest. For now, enjoy the behind-the-scenes pictures.

The R8. I haven’t known too many cars that induce drooling and heart palpitations, from so many people, as this car. It’s not just the gear-heads and auto-knowledge ninjas either. I know business women that love them, young kids that have chased them, and retirees that give an informed nod when I mention it. I will skip listing the numerous awards, accolades, press and 849568 posts online-that simply say, “I want one”-we all love it. It is an incredibly brilliant piece of automotive engineering.

The only real complaint anyone had about the car was that it was under-powered. The 4.2 liter V-8 is a great engine, but it was holding the R8 back (a point supported by the introduction of the R8 V10). A number of companies (ABT, MTM, PES Tuning) have years of experience supercharging this motor in the RS4, so naturally supercharger kits came about quickly, with online promotional videos quickly following. The videos were epic (Watch Matt in the PES R8). What was a tame, polished scalpel was now a powerful but precise katana sword. The MTM R8 made 560hp, and had a sound track that shook your ribcage and stirred the soul. What was “the perfect super-car” to the masses had now been perfected for the purists.

But for Jason Heffner, there was another way to skin this cat that hadn’t been explored: turbos.

Yes turbos. Those happy little swirls of metal that give slow cars a pair of balls and fast cars a pair of balls made of Pluto and the moon. Jason Heffner, of Heffner Performance, has been building turbo-charged exotics for over a decade. We showed you their TT LP-640, and they’ve been having equal success with the new Lamborghini LP-560, with a few breaking the 1000hp barrier.

Well if you know how to build a daily driven TT Lamborghini-the equivalent of giving a real bull some HGH and cocaine right before you hop on- you can probably help the R8 with it’s horsepower deficiency. Using the stock motor, Jason fabricated a custom exhaust system that accepted a pair of Performance Turbocharging turbos. The quality of the work is surgical, the design elegant. The custom-made after-cooler looks  clean, simple and beautiful; you would think Audi had built it themselves.

So what are the results from the world’s first twin-turbo Audi R8? At 6 psi, on pump gas, it made 536AWHP (Click to view Dyno chart) Heffner’s R8 basically makes the same power at the wheels as the ABT and MTM cars do at the crank. That is not to say the other cars aren’t incredible, they are. With instant power and torque, they let the R8 to keep it’s V8 “feel”. The Heffner turbo system simply takes this docile supercar and turns it into an absolute weapon. Lag appears to be minimal, and the sound is as good as ever. The sound of the blow-off valve surrounded by a thunderous bombardment of V8 is truly awesome. And if that doesn’t fix your addiction for power, you can pour in some 100 octane juice and transform your car into a 600AWHP, sub-11 second missile.

Whether you prefer turbos or superchargers is a matter of personal preference and the goals you have for the car. But no matter which route you take, adding some extra air to you R8 is a very good thing. What made the R8 the “perfect supercar” was it’s ability to handle any task you wished, whether it was lapping Laguna Seca or getting coffee, with a poise and control not often seen in exotic cars. What the Heffner package does is erase the only complaint ever written in the R8′s work file. It also makes it almost pointless to own anything else. This isn’t merely a daily driver supercar, it’s a daily driver hypercar. With this much power, in this car, there’s no reason to own much else.

-Zack K

Watch the on-road testing here.

The dyno run.

Whenever I travel abroad, I am amazed at how many products are copied, badly, and sold on the streets. Fake Rolexes are the common example, but Louis Vitton bags, leather wallets, Ferrari jackets and even women (watch for adam’s apples) are poorly replicated around the world and sold to tourists looking to get luxury at a steal. I have no problem if someone wants to sell you a fake Burberry scarf for $10, because I think the fact an authentic ugly plaid one costs $350  is retarded. It’s not an attractive design, it’s just unique and lets the world know you have a nice bank account.

But this is just plain wrong. It is an Aston Martin DB9 kit car. Kit cars were popular in the early 90s, when you could buy a mid-engined Pontiac Fiero for $12.50 and bolt a plastic Ferrari-ish body onto it. With a VW engine in the back making 200hp, you were the MAN to anyone with the brainpower of a 7 year old. Luckily the US took some medicine to cure this disease, but someone flew to Thailand and it spread.

Like the Fiero, this Aston is built on the shitbox known as the Opel Calibra. The Calibra was a “sports car” designed in the late 80s from the frame of a large family sedan. It is a front-engined, FWD car with the lines of a coupe but the heft of a family sedan. Heavy, big, but only two doors? Where can  sign up?? How this became the platform to replicate one of the greatest exotic cars of my life, I don’t know. It’s sacriligious no matter what it’s built on, but at least make an effort. A FWD Aston? You might as well build a monster truck with a Prius’ drivetrain. Copying a DB9 with, say, a Z06 platform would be stupid, but at least it would perform well. This is just the biggest example of “all show no go” since the 1979 Corvette. For shame. So do your part. Write your congressman, and tell him to end the slander of Aston Martin’s good name. For pennies a day, you can save a perfectly friendly and useful Opel from being butchered and turned into a circus freak. Please help.

Who doesn’t like a badass-looking lifted truck? Sure, most of the ones we see are driven by tattooed jackasses that stand at 5 feet 3 inches and like to season their pizza with HGH, but the trucks still turn heads. That 5 year-old part of our brains that endlessly played with Tonka trucks and BIGFOOT models in the mud never completely goes away. So when I saw this truck, less than 50 feet from the swanky Ivy Restaurant of Bevely Hills, I had to cross the street to check it out. At first it looked like a normal 4-door short bed with a good lift kit; black truck, black wheels, yada yada. But something peaking over the roof caught my eye. What is that black, angle-cut cylinder poking up from the bed? Is it a tow hitch? The tip for Kim Kardashian’s lipo machine? No. It is the exhaust tip to end all exhaust tips. Fart cans of the world, this is your god. If you own a Nissan Altima, with an “R” badge and 6″ coffee can muffler, you are no longer leader of the idiots. I have seen plenty of trucks with the semi-style “smokestacks”, and while stupid, at least there was a connection. Semi-TRUCK, pickup-TRUCK. A thin connection, yes, but a connection nonetheless.

Here however, there is no connection. This pipe belongs on top of a house, or a giant cruise ship, or perhaps it could be used as a tunnel under LA for a subway system. It’s so big, even Shaq could drop a free-throw in there. I wonder how often this guy has to chimney sweep garbage out of his exhaust before he can go to work. Seriously, if I lived on his block, there’s no way I could resist stuffing  a cantaloupe in there. Like a fat girl with a pretty face, this truck is a waste of potential.

Does it run on coal?

I checked. Fully functional.

Make your truck growl with a Ford F150 exhaust from AmericanTrucks.

A few months ago we told you about Tesla’s ambitious plan to drive a Tesla Roadster from Los Angeles, CA to Detroit, MI(If you missed it, click here). The goal was to address the issue of an electric car’s range, answer those concerns, and put a nail in its coffin for good. The route was a 2700 mile journey through America’s heartland, with 19 stops along the way for interviews, PR, and to re-charge. But the  Road Trip wasn’t planned for the middle of summer, along the gorgeous coast of California, where the temperature and climate vary between “partly cloudy and 80 degrees” and ” Heavenly.” No. The trip started in L.A. mid-December, went through the south and ended in Detroit in January, where the  average temperature at night is 17.8 degrees. If you live in LA, your frozen double-decaf-nonfat-cuz-I’m-on-a-diet-but-yes-extra-carmel-latte is warmer than that. This trip was going to show people that the Tesla could not only travel great distances, but be used in any condition. As of January 8th, the trip is over, and the results are in.

Tesla Roadster #750 made it without a scratch. 16 Tesla employees drove the car 2700 miles  without a break-down, power-outage, electric shock or catastrophic explosion. They stopped at diners, universities, car clubs, race tracks and even gas stations. Every stop brought a gaggle of news crews, looky loos, inquisitive adults, excited kids, and camera phone ninjas. The excitement around the car is impressive, especially when the car traveled through Texas and Oklahoma. These are the places you would think would greet the Tesla with a gas can and the burning branch of some endangered tree.  But no. Parties were thrown, questions hit the drivers in waves, and there was nothing but smiling faces and an eagerness to learn more at every turn. People everywhere are excited about this car.
In reading the blogs, one thing bugged me. In addition to the nightly charges, the team was charging the car to mid-day. It gave Tesla opportunities to meet more people, answer more questions, and show how easy it is to find a place to plug in, but I would have liked to see them do some seriously long drives without a stop.  If you only need to go 200 miles, and have all day to do it, stopping for a long lunch and some electrons is fine, but what if you want (or need) to just get there? The drive was an impressive feat, I just wish the legs had been a bit longer.

Overall, this is a huge step for electric cars. Tesla has argued since day 1 the average American drives less than 40 miles a day, a 1/6th of the Tesla’s range. Yet people still said it couldn’t go far enough. “What if I want to drive to San Diego, or Las Vegas, or Maine?” You can. Yes, if it’s far enough to require recharging, it will take longer than a gas or diesel car. But you can drive it in the desert, in the mountains, on the freeway, on a racetrack or in the snow (with snow tires and TCS on).  And as far as the infrastructure that nay-sayers, oil barons and big-3 automakers say we don’t have, we have it. As one driver said, “If you can plug in your cell phone, you can plug in your roadster.”

Electric cars are not perfect. Fuel-cars may not travel 500 miles every day, but the fact is they can if you need them to. And to keep the range up, the drivers maintained a paint-dryingly boring 65mph (although one source said the car attained 119mph). Sure, a gasoline car’s range is equally affected by your right foot but if you overdo you don’t have to sit at an RV campsite for 4 hours, fighting off coyotes, before you can head out again. But the fact remains, cars like the Tesla are a viable option for the future. They found Tesla owners in every state, and the interest in the car was universal. It’s not just hipsters in Seattle or rich tree-huggers that are drawn to this silent powerhouse. It’s moms in Texas, playboys in Monaco, and kids in Arizona. Through this trip, Tesla showed us not only the capabilities of their cars, but the interest all Americans have for them. Besides, the Tesla is way more fun than the sleeping pill known as the Prius.

One of these is a ball, and one has none.

Read about the entire journey: Roadster Road Trip

Questions about the car? Click HERE

I found this video today, and I will say right now, I believe it is 100% fake. The comments below it on youtube indicate there’s some controversy, so feel free to post your opinion below. I just think there’s a very noticeable difference between this tunnel barrel roll, and the one Jeremy Clarkson did. And if this had really been done, it would have gotten a little more press than a video posting on youtube, because this would be some sort of record. Either way, it looks cool and the car is sick. So put your brain back in “Avatar mode” and enjoy.

Watch the NightShadow’s First Time Out

This is the Night Shadow motorcycle, by Massow Concept Motorcycles, a laughable sculpture on wheels. It’s a 1200cc Buell underneath, so it’s plenty fast. And it damn sure looks like a leaping Jaguar, but…why? Whenever you climb aboard this thing, you are telling the world, whether it’s true or not, that you have a special love for giant felines. It’s like someone saw The Never Ending Story, and thought, “I want to fly on a dragon!!” Then they realized they’re a  40 year old man living on the planet Earth, and that was impossible. But physics and rational thinking would not stand in the way of this man’s dream; he was going to ride a giant animal goddamnit.

I have seen some ugly art in my time. Last year I went to the LACMA (Los Angeles County Museum of Art) and saw some of the worst shit I have ever seen in my life. One artist had gotten famous for making giant abstract heads (7 feet tall) made of plaster, and filling them with garbage. He encourage others to do the same, and over the weeks the art would start to stink like Favre’s 50-year old taint after a Super Bowl. If his goal was to create the most useless, unattractive, offensive smelling sculpture in the world; mission accomplished.

As I said above, bad idea executed well is still a bad idea. The metal is shaped amazingly well, and a lot of kids might think it’s really cool. In fact if you took the wheels off, it would be an impressive metal sculpture of a Jaguar, which is perfectly acceptable. But it’s not. It’s on wheels, it goes out in public, and it’s retarded. In the end it’s a giant stinking head.

- Zack Klapman

[To me, it really looks like the guy is having buttsex with the Jaguar. Which, you never know, might have been the inspiration for this bike. - MF]

VW and Audi are ramping up their clean-diesel technology advertisements. They started out with some print ads, showcasing the AUDI TDI R10 Diesel Race car. This showed people diesel was no longer reserved for UPS trucks or hippies running an ’82 Volvo on old McFries oil. Diesel can be fast and exhilirating, got it. On other side of the coin are the TV ads showing off the excellent gas mileage their Clean Diesel Technology allows. So diesel is for racers and commuters alike, but how could Audi show off how clean and environmentally friendly it is? Like walking behind 5 Philidelphia Eagles fans after lunch, diesel cars were known for fouling the air for anyone behind it with putrid smoke, bad smells, and obnoxious noise. VW/AUDI had to change that, and with the video above, they spell it out very clearly; “Our diesel cars are so clean, we made this timeless standby method of suicide obselete. Buy a gun, because we’re saving the planet.” Leave it to the Germans to turn suicide into a funny, evironmentally-conscious commercial. No doubt we won’t see this commercial in the U.S., because people are so stupid and so greedy they would probably try this, die, and have their family sue Audi.

I love Public Relations. Not the class, but that filtering machine that makes a terrible situation seem fine. Think of the Black Knight from Monty Python’s “Holy Grail”; We see he has lost his legs, but he says, “It’s just a flesh-wound.” That is PR.  Tiger Woods and his wife could have had a medieval duel in the front yard, complete with decorated suits of armor and a jousting pit. Splintered lances lie in the driveway, next to a horse that was killed during a joust. A bloodied Tiger woods weakly holds up a shield as his wife brandishes a broadsword like Conan the Barbarian. What would a publicist say? “Mr and Mrs’ Woods were having a simple discussion about whether 1 wreath was enough for their front door. They have resolved the matter.”

A personal favorite is the re-call notification, sent out by automotive companies when their car has a defective part. But no matter what the problem is, how dangerous the defect or catastrophic the possible consequence, the wording just puts you at ease.

Example 1: 2005-2007 Chevrolet Corvettes.

The re-call: “General Motors is recalling more than 22,000 2005-2007 Corvettes and 2005-2006 Corvette Z06 models equipped with a removable roof because of a problem with the adhesive between the roof and the frame. The roof panel could detach from the vehicle while it is being driven, and strike another vehicle.

Dealers will install a new roof panel for free.”

What that really means: You could be driving along at 80mph, and your roof will spontaneously eject itself up into the air, where it will immediately air-brake itself to 0 mph. The family of 5, following you and watching Dora the Explorer in their new Hyundai Santa Fe, will slam into this floating fiberglass wall at 80mph, possibly killing of them and generally ruining everyone’s day. But it’s worded so gently it’s like they’re saying. “Terribly sorry sir, but the weave of your floor-mats is not uniform. Bring it in and we will brush them, while you get a deep tissue massage and a lollipop.”

Example 2: 2001-2005 Volvos (various models)

The re-call:

“Volvo is recalling certain 2001 to 2005 Volvo S60, S80, V70, XC70, and XC90 models due to a problem with the fuel pump. In hot climates and in combination with varying fuel quality, the fuel pump can develop cracks, which could start a fire. This affects vehicles in…

Dealers will replace faulty fuel pumps for free.”

What it means: If you live in a warm climate, and get your gas from those unreliable “gas stations” (I make my own at home to avoid this, don’t you?), your car could erupt into a giant Swedish fireball. Volvo’s carry a reputation of safety, but I guess that’s only in the event of a collision. If it gets warm out, and you mix Chevron with Mobil, they become the Hindenburg. The good news is, when the person driving behind sees your Wagon explode, passes out, and rear-ends you, you’ll be totally fine.

And hey, the dealer will fix the problems free of charge.

We hope you enjoyed your Holiday. Whether there were tress, or candles, or an Festivus Pole made of aluminum, we hope you had fun. Whether you were sitting in front of mom’s home-cooked turkey, ham, or Limbaugh-shaped Tofurkey, I’m sure it was nice to put your feet up and relax. Enjoy the undeserved gifts.

Our vacation was horrible. All we did was work. It was rough. Matt had to test an Audi R8 V10, but his leg was hurt, so he couldn’t drive. No movement, doctor’s orders. Now what? He can’t use an intern. That’s like giving Adriana Lima to a virgin; a waste with a disappointing end. What to do? You’ll have to watch the upcoming R8 episode to find out. Until then, here’s a few photos from our horrible, intolerable, incredibly dull Christmas.