by Zack Klapman

If you haven’t done an auto cross before, grab your car (or a parent’s) and Google SCCA locations. It’s a great way to learn about your car, and improve your driving skills, without an expensive track day. It’s also very difficult to damage your car (although as this shows, it can happen). It’s a safe place to become a better driver.

And don’t think the level of skill around you is low, just because you’re not at a fancy track surrounded by tight polo shirts. You could show up in a Super Mugen JDM EVO 13 with stanced slicks, carbon canards on the dashboard and sweet driving shoes, and get smoked by a middle-aged women driving 20 year-old Miata. Jump to the video of the highlights from El Toro, and see what the serious contenders can do with some cones.

Source:  Truth About Cars, SCCA Solo

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Uniting Cornwall to Nottinghamshire, A38 is one of the most appreciated roads in Britain by motors and their owners. A major trunk road, the road starts at its southern point in Bodmin and continues to Mansfield at its northern end. Before the 1960s, A38 was known as the holiday road that connected the Midlands to splendid Cornwall with is great historical heritage of Devon and Somerset.

 
The Historical Heritage of A38 Road
Part of the road is known as the Devon expressway. The A38 partially follows former Roman roads that are quite impressive considering that more than 2,000 years have passed since the Romans built these incredible roads. Motors can nowadays follow these wonders of road construction, including part of the Icknield Street. From Birmingham, A38 travels by Sutton Coldfield and Lichfield before it actually takes up the route of the former Roman road. Another historic journey is the portion of A38 that joins Worcester and Birmingham: the portion that is known as the Saxon salt road.

 
Bodmin to Birmingham

The part of the A38 roads that connects Bodmin in Cornwall to Birmingham is perhaps the delight of motorists with its Dobwalls section that contains the most complex bat bridge ever built in Britain. From Bodmin, the road passes through the breathtaking Glynn Valley before it reaches Dobwalls and Liskeard. The section that joins Plymouth with Exeter is publicly known as the Devon Expressway. Before the M5 motorway was completely opened in 1977, this section served as an extension to the future motorway. It is 42 miles long and is greatly valued by motors. The A38 also passes through important towns and counties throughout Britain such as Cornwall, Devon, Great Bristol area, Somerset, Gloucestershire, Worcestershire, Birmingham, Staffordshire, Derbyshire and Nottinghamshire.

 
If you want to drive in style you can check out the used cars such as the MG ZR for sale at the Motors website.

by Zack Klapman

It’s a 1972 Chevy Nova. It has hubcaps. It has a paint job any mom would hate. If it was in a movie it would be “Nondescript bad guy car #7.”

But it has two superchargers, and 1160 horsepower at the wheels. It has a parachute, and line lock, and a 2-speed transmission. The stock steering wheel has lots of play. And Mike Musto got drive it on DRIVE‘s “Big Muscle.” I hope you like burnouts.

The cars I was around in high school were built in the vein of this one; power first, handling and brakes be damned. As a result those cars   felt old. Body roll, useless brake pedals, soft suspension. But with as much motor as you could afford.

Pro-touring cars feel modern. Mine didn’t, and neither did this one. It’s the leader of the rebellious and angry simpletons; king of the muscle cars that caused repeated-monthly sentences like, “Unlike those in the 60s, modern muscle cars turn and stop fairly well.”

Straight line speed, rough around the edges; that’s a muscle car as I remember it. Some say it’s stupid, or they aren’t good on a road course. Who cares. They’re partly right; You can tell me pizza isn’t healthy, but I will eat it. Cars like this are silly, brutal, slightly-dangerous fun. Enjoy the hooning.

Source: DRIVE

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by Zack Klapman

The severity of this crash completely took me off guard. In Moscow, near the university, there’s a huge road with 4 lanes in each direction, separated by a wide median. Wide enough there’s a parking lot in the median. When you enter this lot/turn around, there are no ramps, driveways, speed bumps or spikes to cross over. It’s just big and smooth. Perfect place to drift a stolen car, after the apocalypse. But some jag tried to make a big, slippery, smokey U-turn in his Audi R8, during normal traffic hours. What a shock he had bad timing? The Audi’s durability proved itself, his car running fine as he roared away from the scene. He also ran a red light, but after blind-siding someone that hard, you forget about smaller infractions. Douche.

I kinda see why he did it; All that space, a wide turning area, smooth tarmac…it’s practically a skid-pad. I Some of us have the brains of children, seeing the world as a giant vehicular playground but, I only if it was empty, after the world had ended. At that point, who cares as long as you’re not eating people. But don’t do this into traffic, during school hours, in a place that’s not exactly known for it’s humor or leniency (bribery cases excluded). Like a kid, I might think about touching the light socket, but I still have enough sense not to do it.

Jump to watch the video.

Source: YouTube
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by Zack Klapman

Jerry Seinfeld wants to make a car show. He’s pitching a concept around, about which we know very little, other than that it will star him and other funny people, and cars. Early rumors say it will be Seinfeld and actors/comedians like Alec Baldwin, Ricky Gervais, or Larry David, driving cars from their past, and talking. Simple, but with good talent simple is good. (Odds in Vegas on there being “back seat memory” stories are currently -1000.)  Good comics, in cars, talking.

We have no idea what to expect from this. We love comedy, and obviously like cars. Some of our staff said, “I would probably watch this even if I had to sit on thumb tacks.” which we’ll be making  happen. But that doesn’t mean it will be good; remember “The Marriage Ref”? And even with great content, when the people of television get involved, who knows what the end result will be. What do you think? Give us your thoughts in the comments section.

Source: The Daily

Photo source: twitter

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by Zack Klapman

Oh automotive rivalries, how silly you are. This video was sent out by Ford-trucks.com with the un-biased, factual tagline, “we’re all friends when wheeling—even if some people happen to drive inferior trucks….” As you’ll see below, it’s obvious Chevy built an inferior truck. Not the truck owner in his back yard, but Chevy. Obviously this is a dream video for any unjustly biased, all giant trucks are basically the same die-hard Ford fan. Like a geek seeing Star Trek placed alphabetically on a higher shelf than Star Wars at Blockbuster, it has nothing to do with the mods on the truck, but purely on the brand, right?

In the video you’ll see a lifted Chevy S-10 stuck in the mud, and only the Thor-like power and conviction of a Ford truck could get it out. Is it because the Ford truck is sitting on tractor tires and has the ride height of an office building? Of course not! It’s because Ford trucks are better, duh. They give it 110%! The don’t quit when the going gets tough! Did a Ford get stuck? Didn’t think so. Jump and watch the ease with which this monster completely-equal-with-the-stranded-truck-other-than-factory-of-origin truck navigates the mud pit, rescuing the other truck. It’s right after the part where a Dodge pulls a different Chevy out. FORD IS BEST TRUCK MAKER EVER!

Source: Ford-trucks.com

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by Zack Klapman

It’s the triumphant return of Jeff Glucker; fighter against tyranny and founder of Hooniverse.com. Along with the regular crew, we talk about a bunch of stuff: Paganis, cops, GT500 versus GTR, super wagons, and driving to a Mayan temple to die. Make the jump and download.

MP3: http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/Smoking%20Podcast%20017.mp3

by Zack Klapman

*

Those spy photographers sure are good. No wonder their job title is almost the same as James Bond’s.  They managed to get photos and video of the 2013 Ford Mustang GT500 being tested on the Nurburgring! I know. It’s quite shocking. How do they keep sneaking in to get these pictures? They’re like Ninjas, or Wikileaks.

We all know the Nurburgring is a difficult place to get photos, but wow, the ZL1 and GT500 in the same year? I am completely surprised that A. the GT500 went all the way to the Nurburgring, and B. someone actually got pictures of it. Totally blown away and caught of guard at this development.

Pictures of new cars leaking before their public debut is rare. A quick Google of “Nurburgring spy photos” hardly turned up any results. Some say that manufacturers use these operatives to their advantage, benefiting from the hype that follows a spy releasing their finds to the masses, but that just can’t be. Would Iran be excited if a spy photo came out of it’s nuclear plan written on a white board? Would they think it’s “good press”? I don’t think so.

And being a spy is risky. You remember how they punished James Bond in Casino Royale?  Practically the same job. I don’t know how it works, I assume they skydive in, dropped from a plane hired on the black market, snap their shots and then tunnel out like Andy Dufresne escaping Shawshank penitentiary.

I gotta get these pictures of the C7 Corvette to the people!!

I salute these brave people. The 2013 GT500 has a story that needs to be told, as we know very little about it.  Like you, I was not expecting pictures of it on that track. I wonder if this means they’ll do a hot lap, and publish the number, like Chevy did?  Nah, that’s crazy, I’m sorry, I’m just being greedy now. Sometimes I get carried away. Well, good work, you men and women of the shadows. May your thermoses and Patagonia jackets keep you safe as you fight to save the earth from metal-toothed giants-what? Oh, sorry, that was James Bond again.

http://youtu.be/kqx0YzQEATI

* This entire post is sarcastic.

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Source: HighGearMediaVideo Motor Authority

by Zack Klapman

Last week the good people of Reddit submitted a good topic for their “Ask Me Anything” section. They wanted to talk to a motorcycle thief. They had a few specific questions, but it was expanded   when there was a response by not just a thief, but also a British police officer. The advice from both sides is very interesting. For example, bike theft in the UK usually involves a van, for fast removal and stealthy getaway. Here, it goes down the old fashioned way: cut lock, hard-wire, ride away. The information is useful for any bike owner, and I found it very interesting getting inside the “whys” of a criminal.

You might wonder what thief would post advice on protecting his source of cash flow. Turns out he’s left the dark side. He says he’s remorseful for “ending up” in the career he did. Aw. How sweet.  He’s probably being honest, but if you’re currently a thief with a heart of gold, wondering why you do what you do, I think the first step is stopping. Don’t get introspective while riding home on someone’s bike, do it beforehand. Mulling over your life’s mission is good, it’s important to evolve as a person. Just do it sitting on a parking cone, not someone else’s sport bike.

For 1.5 years, while living in Colorado, I owned a motorcycle; a Suzuki SV650S. I lived in Boulder, where crime was low, but in Denver, bikes were stolen pretty often. Every week there was the familiar but ever-fearful topic, “Help: Bike stolen from…” I can’t imagine the feeling you get walking outside, seeing the spot of pavement your bike should be at, and knowing exactly what happened. You wonder how it happened, how’d they get through your steering lock? Why is your Kryptonite lock (or the whole front wheel) laying on the ground, defeated? It turns out stealing a bike isn’t that hard, especially if you don’t defend it the right way.

I’ve been lucky enough to make it through life without having anything important stolen from me. That’s good, because the few times I found scratches or small dents on my car, I went into an thunderous and aimless rant about what I would do if I ever caught the ***** *** ***** *** that did it. I was verbal taqueria, slinging out burritos full of refried swear words and savory violent imagery that would make Louis Black tip his hat.

Had anything been stolen I would have stalked the streets, looking for blood, but invetiably getting arrested for being a 10-96 (stupid crazy person). “What do you mean my cape is suspicious?!”

If you own a bike, you must read the words below. I thought my bike was safe with a steering lock and u-lock; I was wrong. It’s not even what lock you have, it’s how you use it too. Some people even go so far as to install an anchor into the ground. I think, at that point, you should use the money to move to a safer area. So use the information below. It could save you money, stress, and prevent you being arrested for vigilantism.

The COP:

”

[–]bobbypeel 27 points 4 days ago*

Source: Reddit

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By Zack Klapman

Ebay. Land of bargains, weird over-priced nick-knacks from childhood, and used underwear. Ninja Turtles shaving kit. $28k Neo Geo game. Ebay has it. They also have a great section, tucked away in Ebay Motors. Put “race” in the search bar, and you find some great stuff. This is a 1963 Quantum MK IV Formula race car. Developed with Saab, as a cheap, easy way for enthusiasts to go racing it ran in SCCA’s Formula S (Saab), Junior, and B series. It’s not Italian, rare or expensive, but all I’m think is: light, RWD, open wheel, 5″ wide tires, minimal driver interfaces, minimal safety. Sounds fun.

You can stumble across some exciting, interesting cars on Ebay. There’s old cup cars, 60s muscle gold, and what looks a like a blunt meat hook, i.e. more painful. Show it to your daughter’s boyfriend. It’ll guarantee your daughter’s boyfriend will avoid her “bathing suit areas” like they’re lava.

When I was a kid, my friend Nick had a go-kart his shop-teacher dad had made for him. I loved it more than he did. It had a flame paint job and peace sign hood ornament, which always seemed contradictory to me, but I drove the hell out of it. It’s how I learned over-steer, and that strange invincible feeling of speed. What’s great about karts is their simplicity, and the connection they give you to road, the physics, and the driving. As you turn the wheel, you can feel the metal of the column twist slightly on it’s way to the front wheels.

This car is just a grown-up kart. Originally it came with a Saab 3-cylinder, 2-stroke engine. They were only worth about 40HP, but they also only had 7 moving parts, so they’re theoretically reliable. The owner has installed a 4-cylinder DOHC Alfa motor. With that power, it will probably scoot pretty good, but won’t lay rubber at 80MPH. It could also  have that lovely Alfa “character” that Alfa owners love to present as a pro, rather than a con. Either way, quick is fun.

If it breaks, it can be fixed, right? It might require more tools than my ’67 Pontiac  (you could rebuild that car with a 1/2″ wrench, 9/16″ wrench, and a flat-head) but how complicated can it be? (Famous last words). This car can’t weigh much over 1,000lbs, so it’s probably be tons of fun but won’t send you into a wall at 218MPH like an old F1 car. Some of the Quantums also used the frame rails as the gas tank, which is very cool, and totally safe, as long as you never crash, roll, get hit, live in a rust-prone area, let an Alien bleed on it, or get attacked by nano bots. I don’t care, I’ll slide that thing all over town. It’d be the best Saab I’d ever driven (Ba-zing!).

It’s selling for only $10,000. Considering it’s part race car, part historic relic, and part crematorium, that’s a bargain. If you have a small budget, this would be stupid to buy; There’s plenty of cheaper, faster options for track days. But if I had a decent collection and a strong 6-figure income, this would be a great play toy. It’s got heritage, a story, it’s simple, it’s light, and I bet the driving experience is hard to replicate. Driving any old car is special. You hear people talk about the soul, the visceral feel, a connection with the car. Even  4-door Bonneville that does an 18 second quarter mile. I think that intangible charm and feeling would exist in this car, but this his more agility than a Chevelle’s glove box. Old, fun, not too fast, slightly dangerous, $10k? I’m in.

Source: Ebay

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By Zack Klapman

A genie pops up and offers you a choice between the two cars above: a Ferrari Testarossa or the Bentley Continental GTC. One is for driving and chasing down coke dealers in Miami. The other is the Camry of Los Angeles, an incredibly well-engineered boulevard-cruiser. A magnet of silicone, it provides a supple, confident ride, and can go quite fast. The Ferrari looks cool, reminds you of Sir Mix-A-Lot, and it’s a Ferrari. But it comes with those famous service costs that make Bentley services look like a Wal-Mart bargain. Plus, it’s not exactly Enzo fast. The Bentley is probably not as fun, and far more common, but it will work, for a while at least. Conundrum. What do you do? Tell us in the comments.

Our take on the Bentley Mulsanne:

Source: Reddit

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by Zack Klapman

This is one of those great car videos. DRIVE Networks’ “Chris Harris on Cars” tests 3 crazy cars that are expensive, loud, and focused. The 444hp BMW M3 GTS, 500hp Porsche 911 GT3 RS 4.0, and 510HP Mercedes C63AMG Black Series. Track cars with the spines of luxury. Ivy league rowers turned into MMA fighters. Each company took it’s best track deviant and put it into intensive SAT Prep. Now they’re lighter, faster, and come with wings (2 have roll cages).

And Chris Harris, being Chris Harris, gets to drive them all. He tests their road manners, then times their track ability, and then he tests their hooning ability. That means he drifts them around, making tires smoke and 15 year old boys and delusional used Camry owners take a long shower. As some YouTube commenters have informed us, drifting it the most crucial element to a good car review. In all seriousness, these are 3 cars we’d all kill to drive. Driving them in the same day? The triple crown. And I completely agree a test of “best drifting car” is a valid fact when considering a purchase, which ALL of us are. Jump.

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It’s been a full five years since I competed in my first rally, the 2007 Bullrun. Now, five Bullrun events later, it’s time to move on to a new, much more difficult event. The One Lap of America race is a completely different animal. Eight race tracks in eight days, 3,200 miles of road driving, and some of the world’s best amateur drivers to compete against. No street racing rallying here; all that matters is lap times on the track. That’s not to say there won’t be plenty of roads as well, since there is an average of 450 miles between each track. I’ll be racing with Big Muscle host and NASA pro driving instructor Mike Musto, and if you can’t tell by the above photo, we will be driving the 2012 BMW X5M. Hit the jump to read why.

Some people on Facebook, where I originally posted these photos, thing the X5M is the wrong choice for a track-focused event. Those people either A) have never driven the X5M or B) are completely unfamiliar with the effects of fatigue related to driving long distances in sports cars, especially when the driver has had two spinal surgeries in the last 10 years. Let me educate them.

The X5M is fast. Like really fucking fast. It has a 555 horsepower twin-turbo V8. It has all wheel drive, torque vectoring, brake vectoring, active anti-roll systems for dead flat cornering, and launch control. The front tires are 275mm wide, the rears are 315′s.  On a race track, the X5M is faster than any other production SUV in the world; you would never know it’s just over 5,200 lbs.  It’s also unbelievably practical. The front seats are brilliant, adjustable in every imaginable way, with heating, cooling, and massage. The voice-controlled navigation works flawlessly, the radio sounds great, and both the high beams and windshield wipers are automatic. In fact, it’s nearly identical to the BMW X6M we recently track tested, except it’s actually practical and good looking, especially in San Marino Blue.

But, as we’d quickly learn after a day of track testing at Monticello Motor Club (big ups to them for providing us track time), there was a major difference between the BMW Performance Center X6M and our press fleet X5M: brake fluid. 7-10 laps on Monticello’s North Course was enough to positively boil the OEM fluid in the otherwise impressive brakes (the X6M had higher temp fluid for track use), so after driving 453 miles from Monticello to South Bend, we stopped by Basney BMW to get fresh tires and Motul RBF660 brake fluid. Throw in some lovely yellow striping courtesy of Turner Motorsport, and we’re now ready for some racing.

Back to why we’ve chosen this particular vehicle, instead of say, a Nissan GTR, Ferrari, Porsche, or other sports car. We’ve already covered the comfort and practicality factor, which are both important in a long-distance rally. Now let’s cover classes. One Lap has six of them. Sports cars over/under $50,000, luxury cars over/under $50,000, SUV/Truck, and Alternative Fuel, with sub-classes for bone stock vehicles. We are running in the Stock SUV/Truck class. The hardcore Grand Am/ALMS/NASCAR/INDY drivers are all in the sports car class, and lets be honest, I’m not beating defending champ Leh Keen in his 1,000 HP Nissan GTR. Not a chance in hell of that happening. But, I want to win the SUV class (a legitimate possibility) and surprise a few sports car guys to boot. We’ll be comfortable, we’ll have fun, and most importantly, we’ll be very competitive within our class, if not overall. Still, we’re gunning for a top 30 overall finish (out of 100) to be happy.

If you’d like to come watch any of the racing, here is the schedule of events for the next week. There are some WILD cars showing up in South Bend today, and it’s going to be a great rally. Spectators are more than welcome. (It’s a screen shot so the links won’t work)

Look forward to photos and statistics updates from the road here on The Smoking Tire, or if you can’t wait that long, you should follow us on Twitter for realtime updates!

by Zack Klapman

I think Rally Cross is the best driving event for mortals. What I mean is, as incredible as WRC (or normal rally racing) is, it’s expensive, time-consuming, complicated, and requires a lot of resources. You have to drag your car into the woods, camp, have a co-driver you trust to not kill you, and the risk of cracking your car on a rock or tree is fairly high. Rally Cross is more contained. You might get some dings from other cars, but you won’t barrel-roll into a spruce.

Rally Cross is more accessible; It’s at a track. If you have a track-ready car (proper cage, brakes made of something other than straw), you can enter a Rally America race. And it’s at one location, over a weekend. It’s like a track day. Until I have Juke R money, that seems so much simpler than co-drivers and stage notes. I didn’t get into driving to read.

And then there’s the surfaces. Plural. Tarmac is fun, but for me road courses feel like an engineering or chemistry exercise; I’m focused on putting all the pieces together, testing various concentrations of entry speed, throttle position, apex timing, etc. It’s exciting, but I feel like I’m doing cardiothoracic surgery on a drug lord with his brother standing next to me.

On loose surfaces-snow, gravel, dirt-it’s play time. Not that rally, drifting or anything slippery takes less skill or concentration to do well at. But it’s like the people that dismissed mogul skiing and invented the snowboard. It feels more on the edge, and sliding around a dirt corner erases any look of seriousness from my face. Rally Cross provides both in a single lap. What more can I ask for? Money, cash, hoes, private island made entirely of pizza. Nothing.

That’s why, if you live in the North East, you should attend (tix here) 2012′s first Rally Cross event, put on by Rally America. Usually motorsports are better watched on TV, but I think if you’re interested in learning about this, especially if you’re thinking about entering, or you’re bored with Auto X, you have to go. You’ll talk to the people, find out what it takes to enter a car. You get the sites and smells, the energy of an event that can’t be conveyed, even on HD. If 24 Hour of Lemons had been on TV, I wouldn’t have turned it off and said “Holy shit I can’t wait to do that.”

If you don’t live in the North East, because you’re allergic to clams or cold, they will be streaming the event live at Rally-America.com. I hope this sport grows here, as it’s already churning out badass drivers in Europe, bringing in loads of fans. Now we have Global Rally Cross here, with bigwigs Tanner Foust, Travis Pastrana, Marcus Gronholm and Liam Doran. It’s got elements of rally and road racing, which benefits the spectator as much as the driver.

Source: Rally America

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by Zack Klapman

Slightly worn. Gap has widened from factory spec, smells like Billy Bob Thornton’s- oh her JAG. Wow, I misread that email. If your mom was a “star fucker” and your dad was a mechanic, here’s your dream: Angelina Jolie’s used Jaguar XJ Sport.

In the vein of optimistically-priced Obama Chrysler 300, this is an Ebay ad for famous person’s used 2002 Jaguar XJ Sport. The seller advertises it’s power and fuel economy (290Hp, 20MPG combined), but of course the big selling point is IT WAS ANGELINA JOLIE’S! IT WAS ANGELINA JOLIE’S! DID I MENTION THE ACTRESS FROM SALT OWNED THIS CAR?!

 
Let’s just say he points it out a few times. I really couldn’t give a crap who owned a car before me. It would be cool to own something Steve McQueen owned, but only because he owned great cars, not because I get a feeling of pride, or a kinship with him, farting on the same seat as him. And I’m not the guy that oh-so-casually slips in that douchey, attention-seeking statement, “Oh, that? Yeah, Steve McQueen owned it.” That’s for the guys that lay their Ferrari keys on the bar, or tell you how rare the stone is on their floor. Floor looks nice, move on.

So what’s the price to drive the car that Gia bought? Well, the TMV price of a 2002 XJ Sport with 22,000 miles is $9,400. But, with that special something no serious stalker can ignore, the current price is $16,800. So apparently, Angeline Jolie is worth about 7 grand, not 20 million.

The kicker for this whole ad is the seller’s other item. I will give you 15 guesses what other item is listed in the same ad as lips’ Jag.

Wrong. Dehydrated cereal-grade marshmallows.

This land is filled with freaks, and somewhere there’s a lonely man, sitting on his couch, watching Tomb Raider 2 with underwear stuffed with Lucky Charms, and to that man, this is Christmas. Bid on creeps, bid on.

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by Zack Klapman

The phrase, “Women are bad drivers” has been said countless times. Ghandi said it. Queen Elizabeth 1, 2 and 7 said it. I’ve said it, but I’m biased.

Myth Busters wanted to settle the argument. So they put together a bunch of tests, wrapped up male and female “subjects” in ninja gear (to hide their sex and prevent bias), and put them through the course. The online clip is only a small piece of the episode, but I will judge it nonetheless, because I’m impatient and stubborn. Jump, watch, analyze. Then let us know what you think.

Not that conclusive a clip, but I’m sure the full episode provides more info. I’m betting the result is: There’s bad drivers with both kinds of sexy parts. Shocking. They’ll probably find (complete speculation) that men tended to be too aggressive, and women were cautious but still hit things. If you notice the first driver, his points were docked for speeding. Obviously leftover DNA from decades fighting dragons with King Arthur.

What both good drivers displayed was focus and an ability to control the car. Now I realize “controlling the car” should be redundant with “has a driver’s license.” But as many poles, parked cars, bicyclists, trees, cones, toll booths, and freeway barriers could tell you, it’s not. If you’ve ever ridden with someone that has all the deft in their right foot of a falling boulder, you know what I mean. They might even (incredibly) have the cognitive ability to think, “Ok, I should go around that car, without sliding the side of my car into the corner of their bumper.” but the execution – like the belief of the Sasquatch, Noah’s ark, or unicorns (that one’s mine) – is a fail.

I would say vision is really the most important aspect to being a good driver; If you see what’s around you, theoretically, you can avoid things. How many accidents are followed by the statement, “I didn’t see you.” Little known fact: Images can be reflected off of mirrors and shoved into your eye. If you look in the mirrors, and see a pyramid of babies in your bumper’s trajectory, you can change that by moving that circular thing your hands should be on. By using your ocular muscles, you can look at several mirrors, as well as through various panes of glass, giving you a fairly good idea of objects and vehicles around you, and maneuvering through them. Driving is simple: pay attention, be aware, know what controls do what, use them to react.

“Enough tangential analysis of general driving ability, Zack, this timeless rivalry between men and women must be settled! The Roman’s were rumored to argue about who damaged more chariot’s (historical fiction). One must be better than the other! Our brains need a simple way to categorize things!” Well Myth Busters didn’t post the whole episode, so you have to watch it for conclusive evidence. My theory, based on nothing but life experience, postulation and stereotypes, is as follows:

Most accidents women get in are small, truly accidental events. Simple bumps. Yes there’s gnarly freeway crashes, but those could also be attributed to lack of focus, or freak accidents. Overall, women’s accidents are accidental.

Not that men get in crashes on purpose. But we’re more likely to be deserving of our injuries. Our accidents are more like Darwinian punishments than mere oopsies. When we crash, we destroy scenery: wrapping cars around poles, spinning at 66MPH on snowy freeways, or roll three Jettas in as many years (a friend, off-ramps confuse him). We see death hiding behind poles, rocks, trees or semis and say, “Dude, watch this!” Can’t be surprised. We grow up racing bicycles, toy cars, crashing into each other on the playground; if anyone is surprised by our automotive behavior, they are stupid. Obviously these are blanket statements, and there’s exceptions. I’ve been rear-ended by a guy that should have seen me stopping, I know a girl that totaled a car. But stereotypes exist for a reason. Every rumor was born from some semblance of truth.

I think, at the core of it, men and women approach the driving age with a different source of excitement. I was excited to experience driving. I think most guys, at age 16, wanted to experience some stupid, dangerous stuff, and therefore learned to be highly aware of what they were doing. If you’re driving at a speed bump in your dad’s ’94 Cherokee at 60mph, I  you are very aware of what that car is doing. Because it is imperative that you land safely and arrive home with the car looking as untouched as Santorum’s daughter.

Women are probably excited for the social interaction and freedom. They’re far more social creatures than men, and a car is to a 16 year old what a telephone is to 12 year old. Since every girl I know has a story of being under the parental lock and key, and every guy growing up could shoot a flame thrower from the roof while strippers slide down his mailbox (literal, no figurative.), women probably celebrated the privacy and freedom of a car like David Blaine getting out of that stupid box. (Again, this is pure assumption, no doubt scaring off the 3 women that read this site. Alone Single for life!)

Many women see cars as transportation, a logical and reasonable idea. Many of us see cars as a big, fast BMW bike. Hence the idiocy. Ramp of wood on some firewood? Awesome. Let’s jump it. Speed bump? Let’s channel our Viking ancestors. But we will learn something from that jump, and in some ways be better drivers.

I would like to see a driver’s test for the sexes involving many tests. Car control, multiple tasks, distracted driving, awareness, visual tests, etc. Have numbers held up in front of different windows, and the longer it takes to see them, the lower the score. Then a timed race around a mud pit. Then some cone stuff, then parking, etc. Test the gamut of skills. You might ask when the average driver would need to be good at driving in a mud pit, I would argue right after it snows, and they’re driving their family home.

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by Zack Klapman

This is the best compilation of crash videos I’ve seen in a while. Top ten of all time. Simple reasons: length and diversity. I’ll leave that bountiful source of dirty jokes alone, and just say this video has every kind of motorsport, with crashes you likely missed. I’ve never seen this many pro drifting crashes. Then there’s the super cross bike landing on the guy’s head. Then the Minis on fire. Then the Porsche pin-ball situation. 2011, you were so good to us. And the video isn’t a premature 3 minutes long, it’s 24 minutes long. Tantric. Sting probably made it. So if you find yourself saying, “Dude, that Vaughn Gittin Jr. wreck was sick!”, there will be another one in 5 seconds. It’s like Discovery Channel depth, with Wide World of Sports content. Who doesn’t want to watch that. Or at least, a lot of it. Enjoy the smashing.

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Source: Compilation by 123Details

Raw video by Motors TV

by Zack Klapman

It’s the TST Podcast. Our guest this round was Jack Damon. He was feeling a bit like shit, but he came down anyway. He works for Camera Car Systems. You might not know who they are, but if you’ve watched anything on a screen, you’ve seen there work. They drive and operate the best mobile camera systems around. Think Cayenne Turbo with a robotic arm on top, capable of getting stable shots at high speed, even while driving over curbs or off-road. They just completed a new Raptor camera truck, but theirs has a gyroscope. We’re Pop Warner, they’re cyborg football.

We also talk about the 24 Hours of Lemons, having sex with cars, the Lexus RX350 F Sport we tested, roller coasters, and death rallies. Enjoy your commute.

MP3: http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/Smoking%20Podcast%20016.mp3

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by Zack Klapman

In 1989 Riccardo Errani founded the Fanenza Errani Rally Team. Since then he’s raced Lancias, Escorts, Evos, Subarus and – as you will see after the jump – a big, angry, drifty Mustang that sounds like it’s going to shake the mountain’s trees from their roots.

That’s why he’s on our page today. The video below is him running the 2010 Rally Rubicone del Rubicone. Based on some historic looking websites translated from Italian to English, we know it’s a rally in Italy. Yes, that’s all we got. It’s similar to a hill-climb, with various cars and classes (700HP Fiat Punto anyone?) running the course, drawing huge, enthusiastic crowds. (I know, you’re wondering where they found enthusiastic Italians. Made in China, probably.) But I digress. The video of Riccardo Errani slinging this Mustang up the mountain is incredible. The first time i watched it I couldn’t tell if he was doing a smokey exhibition run or actually going for a fast time. But I knew I’d watch it again, and again. He attacks the road. Not with the attention to traction and poise of a road course, but as if he’s driving an AWD Evo in the snow; sliding his front tires off the tarmac, drifting every corner. It’s like someone fencing with a broad sword; big and violent but with incredible precision. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYjGlrGp6c0  (Click here if embed doesn’t work.)

Longer video of the event, with numerous different cars. (Click here if embed isn’t working.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8fWt7JXi8A

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by Zack Klapman   Photo by Jason Thogalsen

Who doesn’t love the Ferrari F40? Don’t think it’s gorgeous (I do)? That’s ok, because its tiny, screaming, flame-throwing, triple-exhaust packing (who does that? The F40, that’s who.) twin-turbo V-8 will make your ears melt, your eyes exploding in a display of appreciation. The engineering is amazing, the performance is still competitive today, and the exclusivity makes showoffs happy. But you don’t need reasons. It’s simple: ~2,500lbs, 471HP, turbo, Ferrari.

Last week was the 25th birthday of the legendary icon, the Ferrari F40. Man, you should have been there. * The party was insane. Rich guys wore tiny polo shirts. They had giant watches, never took their sunglasses off, and had Botoxed trophies on their arms weighing less than said watch. Wine, cheese, espresso, high-speed flybys. Men bought more Ferrari crap while the trophies found a pro driver to picture while using Kohler’s best. To the disappointment of many LA cougars (0% of our readers), I don’t own an F40. So I do what you did right after setting Firefox to “Private”; live vicariously through video. To celebrate the year this iconic piece of fuckitall automobile, below is a collection of cinematic F40 love. Enjoy.

* None of my statements on the F40 party are based on any kind of fact. I don’t even know if there was a party. I’m simply assuming it was similar to every other Ferrari event.

F40 LM: Start up/passes.

Source: YouTube

What would a video collection be without a Top Gear video? Clarkson. F40. Enjoy.

Source: YouTube

Our friend, photographer Jason Thorgalsen, shoved his camera into a friend’s F40 LM for some laps at Lime Rock. It’s a good thing. The driver poled and won both of his races. “being the only LM in the field helped.” No doubt.

Source: YouTube

Autocar compares the F40 to the F430 Scuderia.”When people ask me what the greatest thing I’ve ever driven is, ‘F40′ just falls out of my mouth.”

Source: Autocar

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by Zack Klapman

Many moons ago I wrote about the FT-86 concept. At the time I assumed I would have saved up the money to buy one. Then the market of Beanie Babies fell off, wiping out my life savings and ending my relationship with Natalie Portman. Gold digger… Whatever, when the STI version drops, I’ll totally have the money for it.

It’s two years later, and as you should know, the BRZ/FRS is now taking orders. Journalists love how it drives, “normal” people love its price, and enthusiasts love that lightweight, RWD stuff. Good. After the garbage truck full of press releases and 2nd-base teasing of the last two years, it better be. Besides, light and RWD is as easy to get right as chocolate milk. Anyway, the story is interesting but reading specs and corporate PR novellas flat out sucks. So Subaru adapted it to 2 short screen plays. Various engineers and team members talk about the goals, and how they got it done. That’s why that guy is kneeling in a chassis. Or he’s the shittiest “hide and seek” player ever. If you like shows like “How It’s Made”, building shows, or Harry Potter, you will enjoy this. Jump to watch. I’m going to steal a bunch of Levi’s and sell them to Russia. Natalie will so take me back when I roll up in a FI BRZ.

Part 1

Part 2

Source: Subaru Global TV

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Crashed race cars are  never a pretty sight. On March 31st, Turner Motorsports driver Michael Marsal, who we followed as he prepared for the 24 Hours of Daytona, and then as the Turner Motorsports Team Chased victory during the race, suffered a crash during the Continental Tire Sports Car Challenge race at Barber Motorsports Park. He was uninjured, but the car didn’t fare so well: the #97 BMW M3 was totaled. Turner Motorsports had just 16 days to completely rebuild the car. Fortunately for us, they set up a time lapse camera and got to work, and the car is now ready for its next race at Miami Homestead Speedway on April 28th. Hit the jump to see how quickly a race car can be rebuilt from the ground up.

by Zack Klapman

You have to watch this video. You simply must. It’s DRIVE‘s inside look at the incredible Willy Wonka factory of cars : the Pagani factory.

If you judged a car company on looks, innovation, performance and originality, Pagani would win best company on the planet. Their cars are striking. Beautiful and smooth yet forceful and intimidating. They are incredibly original, without being odd (Gumpert). The interiors look like space jewelry, which is what the interior of a 700HP hyper-car should look like. And they’re fast. So so so fast. For me, Pagani is at the top of the automotive food chain.

Impractical, expensive, flashy, so what. There’s so many reasons I love these cars. Their speed, rarity, and exclusivity is fine but that takes a back seat to the attention given to every. single. part. They make their own bolts. Bolts!  The cars are made by a “family”-as Horacio Pagani (guess his title) – calls it. They produce 20 cars per year, with an attention to detail and gaps that would make a NASA engineer look like a blind monkey hammering together a bird house.

It’s the greatest fusion of art and engineering I can think of. (If anyone points to a building as a counter-point, I will throw it at you.) And there’s a very simple reason for the marriage of those seemingly opposite approaches to creation: it’s exactly what Horacio Pagani wanted. Through DaVinci he realized art and science can exist hand-in-hand, rather then opposing each other. That is why Pagani is what it is. But he didn’t make something half art and half engineering; it’s almost as if he took the total skill of an artist, and the smarts of a brilliant engineer, and combined them. He’s one man with the power of 2. I sincerely mean that.

That’s what so incredible about this video. The cars are amazing, the parts are gorgeous, and seeing how it comes together is an absolute treat. But hearing Horacio’s philosophy, his reason for Paganis being what they are, is what really captivated me, and brings a new appreciation to those parts and procedures that create these cars.

He wanted the cars to have a great personality, and be different from Ferrari or Lamborghini, without crossing to the extreme, where ugliness lives (Again, Gumpert). From his inspiration (DaVinci) to his realism (“If you try to achieve perfection, you will never finish your opera.”) I now completely understand how and why these cars are what they are. No one could have created something like this, other than him.

And JF Musial got to go inside, behind the Wizard’s curtain. Not only that, they let him film “anything” and he shows all of us how the cars came to be. I mean, complete access, to anything. When he takes the cover off one car – without supervision- I almost screamed “Dude, are you nuts?!” I thought it would result in a beating, if not by Horacio than by god himself. “How dare you touch such sacred carbon!!!!” But no. They welcomed him like, family.

Enough words. I apologize for keeping you. Put 24 minutes aside (yes it’s long, it’s worth it), and watch this video. You will get a new appreciation for what are arguably the best cars on the planet.

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The Smoking Tire caps off our Ultimate BMW Road Trip with a visit to Spartanburg, SC, home of BMW’s private test track. And Matt’s sick of speed limits; he wants to go fast. Thats’ why we took the opportunity to get some hot laps in “the world’s ugliest fastest crossover,” the BMW X6M. Sure, it’s impractical, cramped, incapable of driving in snow or on dirt, and expensive, but who doesn’t want a fully track-ready SUV? When it handles, pulls, and sounds like this one, we’re torn. Hit the jump for the video.

by Zack Klapman

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It’s episode 15 of The Smoking Tire podcast. This week our guest is a dear friend of the crew. He competed on the Bull Run TV show. He’s done the rally, several times. He has also done One Lap of America, several times, and will be Matt’s partner for it this year. He is a certified driving instructor. He has a bad-ass matte black Dodge Charger Daytona, which he built, is very fast and has been to the Playboy Mansion. He writes for RideLust.com, and is now the host for the DRIVE Network’s new show, “Big Muscle.” (It’s about muscle cars, but you knew that, right?)

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Basically, Mike has done a lot of awesome stuff and has stories to tell. We’ll talk about driving instruction, why you do it, what to bring on One Lap of America, and why old cars are good, but sometimes a rented Civic is better. Jump to download.

MP3: http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/Smoking%20Podcast%20015.mp3

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by Zack Klapman

A little while back, Toyota had to deal with that stupid unintended acceleration crap. Yes, we understand you didn’t mean to accelerate. You didn’t mean to push the gas instead of the brake. You didn’t mean to not notice your floor mat had grabbed the gas pedal like a Gremlin. You didn’t mean to be an idiot, seek financial compensation, falsify claims, drag a company through the mud, only to have most claims thrown out.

 
I thought that was the end of the idiot soup-line outside Toyota’s offices, but this report explained there are even worse people out there: people tried to sue Toyota because – due to media frenzy over the unintended story of blame – the value of their new Toyotas had dropped. Basically, they were suing Toyota because people had sued Toyota. Blood pressure increasing…jump for details and some helpful, sarcastic analogies. 

The good name of their cars had been unfairly besmirched. Should they try to sell their cars, stupid people will say “But won’t this drive towards a wall at WOT if it gets its period?” and walk away. So this bunch of greedy, litigious assholes tried to sue Toyota for the difference. These are the people that, should someone run face first into a wall, will sue the makers of walls because some very silly people now think they are dangerous.

Now it’s bouncing around courts. Somehow, U.S. District Judge James Selna has tentatively concluded:

“The highest court of the state New York would be likely to find actionable the claims of a plaintiff who realizes a measurable loss on the resale or trade-in of a vehicle with an un-manifested defect that may be fairly attributed to that defect,” Selna said.

So, if I understand this right, Selna may rule that it’s ok to sue Toyota if your car lost value based on a defect that never occurred in your car. I can’t even believe I’m reading this. Yes, people probably lost money when the public panicked over Toyota’s recalls, but this is the same as Volt owners suing Chevy because a bunch of newspapers and blowhards said that they can catch on fire, even if said owners’ cars had never caught fire, been near fire, or carried marsh mallows.

So some guy reports his car had a mind of it’s own. It’s found out it didn’t. You have the same car, and although your car definitely never became self-aware and pillaged a town, you get to sue someone because people now think your car is the Charles Manson of hybrids. That’s not Toyota’s fault, that’s between you and the potential buyer, who apparently has a license, but the inability to read.

“NASA found no evidence that a malfunction in electronics caused large unintended accelerations,” said Michael Kirsch, Principal Engineer at the NASA Engineering and Safety Center (NESC).

Ok, let’s take this to fun-land. Black people: you are now allowed to sue EVERYONE, companies, individuals, police, anyone. Why? Well, some people are racist. They have a pre-conceived idea of who you are, based on news stories, gangster movies or Tyler Perry. Although you’re an upstanding citizen, some ignoramus might think you’re dangerous, and rather than calling that guy a stupid, small-minded dickhead, you get to take it out on the entire world responsible for that stigma. (Definitely sue the people that sued Toyota.)

Women: you get to sue every porn company, “racy” publication, numerous movie directors and studios, diamond company, and KY advertisement writer. Why? Well, certainly these entities have made women look like hyper-sexual, easily-bedded nymphos. And although you aren’t like that, a few small-minded people think you are. Just say it lowered “value” of women, and although you are nothing like the women of a Maxim magazine pudding-comparison shoot, you get to sue.

Owners of Pop Rocks: The urban myth that eating you while drinking soda would cause people to die and the moon to explode caused a drop in Pop Rocks sales. You have an old bag in your pantry, but now people are afraid to eat them. What if you run out of Halloween candy?! You can’t give this away now, people will call you a murderer! Sue!

Baseball players: You never took a steroid in your life, but thanks to many a few bad apples, every time you hit a home run, some cynical asshole says dismisses your ability and assumes you’re injecting gear into your ass. Although your career is fine, your paychecks cash without issue and you’re living your dream, in the eyes of some the value of your performance has dropped, so you get to sue.

Pencil sharpeners: Somewhere, after a kid poked himself with a newly-sharpened #2, an over-protective mother complained about how well said sharpener did it’s job made the pencil too sharp, lethal even. It’s not that her kid is an idiot, or simply made a physical error, no. It’s the pencil sharpener that is too blame. This silly complaint was heard by literally several people, tarnishing the name of pencil sharpeners in her household for weeks. Sue away.

Do you see how silly this is? Our society is way too litigious, and everyone is looking to get paid for doing nothing. The combination has clogged the legal system, and made everything dangerous, everyone overly-cautious. A woman recently tried to sue the makers of ‘Cap’n Crunch’ cereal, because it didn’t have real berries in it. How many times have you eat a berry that felt like a texture fusion of popcorn and sand?

As you all know, I could go on for a while. Point is, you bought a car, nothing is wrong with it. Nothing was wrong with those car’s either. Some people might offer you less money for  a trade-in or to buy, but those people are fucking morons. Bring them some paperwork, teach them about facts and recalls, and if they still shake like beaten puppy when you offer a test drive, find someone else to buy your car.

Source: AutoNews

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“NASA found no evidence that a malfunction in electronics caused large unintended accelerations,” said Michael Kirsch, Principal Engineer at the NASA Engineering and Safety Center (NESC).

by Zack Klapman

State police in New Jersey are investigating a bunch of complaints from March 30 (You’re probably wondering how this investigation got started so quickly). Motorists reported seeing 2 police cars driving down the Garden State Parkway at high speed, lights flashing, leading a train of exotic/sports cars. It’s clear the 25 or so cars weren’t just tagging along; the police were clearly leading their 100MPH commute to Atlantic City. Like a weird, alternate-universe Gumball. Sounds fun to me. But, of course, people complained, and then the news started in on it… 

We don’t know yet why or how it was orchestrated. But, after only one day they’ve found and suspended one trooper, obliterating my assumption that this internal investigation of cops would be as honest and conclusive as a Big Foot documentary show. Usually cops investigate each other as thoroughly as a dermatologist looks at your kidneys but, according to Attorney Charles Sciarra, the national spotlight and saying there was a “celebrity” involved (49ers player Brandon Jacobs) gave them a reason to do their job step up the investigation.

I’m hardly surprised; Attaching a famous-ish name to a crime makes a news journalist fall to their knees in sensationalism-induced orgasm. During the refractory period, these sculptors of English came up with the simple, in no-way-over-blown-and-fucking-ridiculous name, “Death Race 2012.” The amount of hateful words I can direct toward this attention-whore of a headline would take hundreds of words. Your unborn children would somehow hear them, coming out of the womb sounding like Tarantino, so I’ll let you roll your eyes at the silliness of that headline un-assisted. And I’m not sure how Brandon was identified, but whoever picked him out at 100MPH should either be studied for their Superman-like sight or just hates the 49ers.

I can only imagine what the witnesses said of this catastrophic, blood-splattered calamity, “OMG we’re all going to die! It’s Mad Max out there! I saw a bunch of those fancy cars going fast! Sure, when I see them in parking lots I take pictures and ask the owners how fast they go, and I’d buy one if I could, but oh the humanity of them actually being used in the manner they were designed! And, there was a pirate ship behind them, shooting cannonballs! I’m just glad no one got hurt!”

“Wait, no one got hurt?” No. “None?” Well, one lady said she almost ended up in the ditch, because she got spooked. “How old was she?” Doesn’t say, just says ‘older’. She also thinks capri pants are too sexual, sex is for procreation, music is too loud, and can’t understand why people aren’t getting married at 18 anymore. So no one was hurt, other than an old woman who probably puts more people in danger on the road each day than this driving club. Her input is null and void.

I can’t argue the actions weren’t illegal, but if I had the money and access, I’d do it too. The cops were either friends, fans, or hired. Who knows, I frankly don’t care and considering how many slaps on the wrist are given out to the boys in blue for real crimes, this guy should just have to spend 1 day as a bicycle cop; call it good after that.

But I would like to talk about the witnesses, the police, and the general odd hypocrisy we as a country hold towards speeding.

On the witnesses, one driver said reported,

“When I was in the high speed lane passing a series of slower vehicles, I saw police flashers in my rear view mirror, moving at a high rate towards me, so I sped up, passed the cars and got into the slower lane in the nick of time.”

“The car raced by me going (estimated) 100+ mph. Then I noticed there was a series of performance cars (Porsches, Ferraris, etc.) that were following the lead police car with their blinkers on and license plates taped off — speeding at the same high rate.”

I have questions for this guy:

1. How slow were these vehicles you were passing going? Or were you breaking the speed limit? (Ah ha!) Why did you terrorize those motorists so? Haven’t you heard, speeding will give your children The Plague! You sick bastard…

2. Define “the nick of time.” If you’re director John Badham, doing something in the “nick of time” takes 90 minutes, hardly a close call. Or perhaps the convoy was (responsibly) preparing to slow down for you – as you passed the cars on the right at a speed differential of 1MPh (like the 7 assholes I encountered yesterday on Hwy 91. Die.)- but seeing you move aside, they continued at their pace, saving both fuel and the environment by not having to slow and re-accelerate?

I think “nick of time”is too strong. If I’m in the left lane, approaching a slow-moving vehicle, which happens…occasionally, and the driver (miraculously) sees me and moves over long before I’m close to their car, I will continue at my pace, as does everyone. It might be 10 seconds before I pass them; perfectly safe, no reason for concern. But all it takes is the wrong choice of words, delivered by a person easily excited by your basic circus or Blue Collar Comedy Tour joke, and the picture is painted differently. Just imagine your typical talentless, humorless, failed actor with the creativity of a mirror news anchor delivering this report with their usual dramatic inflections: “One driver, Jon Kennedy of Madison, says he got out of the way, barely in the nick, of time.”

You know the voice I’m talking about; Elevating everything to within an inch of inducing public panic (“Are skateboards molesting your children?”) These drivers might have been behaving like jack-asses, another report said they were weaving across the lanes, which is both douchey and greedy. But to people like you, me, and this driving club, 100MPH doesn’t feel dangerous. In fact, it’s not dangerous, really. Capable car plus capable driver equals efficient trasnportation. The words of the witnesses mean something very different to us than it would to a new station, my parents, or your grandma. I’m not saying I know what happened, I just know how varied peoples’ opinions on speed and danger can be.

3. How do you know it was 100MPH? Cops need proof you were speeding, they can’t just use their eyeballs. And they have special, police-trained eyeballs. If I drive 70mph, my mom screams with the same feeling as a victim in a SAW film realizing death is mere seconds away. She thinks we’re traveling to the moon, and we are not. I hope it was 100MPH, because if I had arranged for cops to lead me down the highway, I’d want to go fast too. If you go the speed limit, you don’t need the escort.

"Bill, after this proper training, you're practically ready for that F1 stuff."

My second issue is with the odd hypocrisy of police being the judges of safety. I thought our police are both highly trained as drivers and the accepted judges of automotive behavior? We give them the job to enforce the speed limit. It is their job to judge the driving of everyone and enforce their rules accordingly. This is done, of course, in the name of safety. Ooh that magical word that lets through so many laws, rules and regulations, ruining everything from airport travel, to driving, to bicycling (Tom got a $900 ticket for going through a stop sign on his bicycle, because bikes are still stupidly called “vehicles.” God forbid Tom lost his ability to see things in front of him and rode his 140lb body and 20lb bicycle into the side of Ford Explorer. He wouldn’t care, they wouldn’t feel it.)

If speeding were biblical-hell-fire unsafe, no one would ever get let off with a warning. You’d get pulled over for 70 in a 65, the cop would say, “How about you pay attention, slow down, and stop trying to un-make the universe with this reckless abandonment for human life! You know that when you speed, unicorns cry, don’t you? WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!”

But they don’t do that. We get warnings, some of us get tickets marked down from 93 to 85, because the cop had a soul. And cops speed all the time; if they have their lights on, we figure they have an important reason. More to the point, we as people have accepted they are capable drivers, skilled enough to handle those forbidden speeds.

So, if we say police know how to drive fast (tho many don’t), and they are the judges of what is safe and reasonable of other drivers, aren’t they able to permit people to drive fast? You know, one of those transitive properties A=B, B=C, A=C things. Sure, it won’t hold up in court. But if you’ve ever gotten a warning instead of a ticket, if you’ve ever paid double your fine (in NJ), thus avoiding points on your license, you know the laws of safety are open to interpretation.

Of course my strange “reasoning” won’t come up in court, but it kinda makes sense. The cop has been put on unpaid leave (strange, since cops usually get paid leave after shootouts or rape allegations), and now Brandon Jacobs is under the light. I wouldn’t be surprised if they pull him into a stupid, unnecessary, time-wasting grand jury testimony. And for what? Because a bunch of people bought fast cars- which we as society drool for, lust for, are impressed by- and they wanted to drive them fast. If you handed any of the witnesses, police or news people the keys to a Lamborghini, do you think they want to drive it the speed limit? Course not. And, no one got hurt, they had “experts” with them, and the cars are definitely able to handle those speeds without drama.

The Gov. Chris Christie actually had the most mature reaction to the whole thing:

“I just shook my head. What are you going to do? It’s a completely ridiculous story. Shouldn’t have happened. Dumb thing to do, but let me assure you it’s not the last dumb thing we’ll see happen,” Christie told the crowd, which chuckled at his response.

He went on, “So we should stay calm. People are human beings. They make mistakes. Those people who made this mistake should be held accountable and I’m sure they will. And I’m glad nobody got hurt.”

He didn’t get mad, say it was an attack on society, or call it a death race. He brushed it off, like your friendly neighbor whose window was broken by your kid’s game of rock baseball.
So should we.

Here’s Alex Roy’s police escort. Looks like fun.

Source: NJ.com

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A couple weeks back, live on the podcast while slightly inebriated, Matt bought a car from racing driver and Top Gear USA writer Andrew Comrie-Picard, sight unseen. And we mean that quite literally, as Matt wrote the check for the car live on the TST Podcast, breaking basically every rule there is to buying a car. He didn’t drive it first, didn’t have it checked out first, didn’t say, “Show me the Carfax,” or even look at a picture of the purchased vehicle. In fact, doing any of those things would have been quite impossible, since the car currently rests in a storage lot in Toronto.

But ACP has sent us pictures of the new car, and, we must say, we’re pretty pleased. $500 goes a long way…. in Canada.

Matt’s new ride is a 1987 Honda CRX si, in quite good condition. Though ACP said it has, “about 200,000 km” on the clock, the actual odometer reading is a minty-fresh 288,000 miles. The interior looks pretty complete to us, and with the exception of some rust over the rear wheel arches, the body seems to be in decent shape. The original engine was rebuilt, balanced and blueprinted in 2006, and according to ACP, produces slightly more power than stock, and has traveled less than 10,000 km since then.

While we’re still debating exactly what to do with the CRX (on one hand, it would absolutely murder at Lemons, but on the other, Morningstar doesn’t have a daily-driver and borrows Matt’s truck a lot). Some combination of daily beating and amateur racing is almost certainly in the cards for the little CRX, but first, Matt has to go get it, and that means a road trip.

After hearing about Matt’s new purchase, road trip legend and host of /DRIVE’s Live and Let Drive Alex Roy immediately requested we make a film about going to Canada to get the car, so that we may share the CRX love with everyone. And at the end of May, after Matt returns from the One Lap of America race, that’s what we’re going to do. In the meantime, check out the CRX mega-gallery below, and if you’re an expert on these cars and want to share your CRX stories or things to look out for before we drive this thing 5 hours home, post them up in the comments.

by Zack Klapman

How many times have you heard this conversation:

“So, what’s the difference between a 2-stroke and a 4-stroke?”

“Oh, dude, easy. So, a 2-stroke…which is the engine for snow mobiles and some dirt bikes, its piston only moves…twice? (To self) Is that the one with the glow plug?…no. Ok, so the piston moves twice. A 4-stroke, which is what’s in cars, and street bikes…and stuff…that piston moves, wait, that doesn’t make sense. I dunno. 2 strokes make that ‘Wingginginginging’ sound.”

I have, on both sides. If you want to learn the basics of those engines, and about 10 more  you will ever hear of again (What’s a Low Differential Sterling, you ask? Well, now that you bring it up…), check out Animatedengines.com. The animations are simple, they move-so you won’t get bored- the explanations are long enough to present information but short enough even the most symptomatic ADD sufferer will be able to get through them. If you like knowing how the insides of the engines we commonly encounter work, jump over there and take a quick look. Imagine how excited you will be to drop this knowledge on your bored friends on a Friday night. Learning, with color and moving things!

Source: Animated Engines via Autoblog

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by Zack Klapman

This bike is silly. Jump for my reasons why the company that made it- BMC – will never invite me on a press event.

When I was 13 I went on a month-long outdoor trip with a bunch of other kids. It was like a mobile summer camp for people that wear Teva sandals, ate granola and climbed shit. My parents are those people, thus, trip. Our rock-climbing week (white people problems) was based out of Aspen.

One day while walking around the neighborhood already-pretentious plaza, I saw a store with, “PORSCHE” above the door. I was stoked. Cars! Climbing and biking and all that was fun, but I was deep into my addiction for four-wheeled stuff. I’d brought a few magazines with me, and already read them cover-to-cover several times. But seeing a real Porsche, in person? I couldn’t wait. I dragged my buddy towards it. As I got closer to the window, I saw a mountain bike in the window. “Whoa, weird. I didn’t know Porsche made bikes.” Next to the bike was a pair of sunglasses. I paid no mind, strutting into the store, scanning for the car that would surely be sitting right…w.t.f.?

A white desk in an otherwise EMPTY room. I looked around, baffled, surprised, totally confused. At the time I had attempted to form my hair like Jonathan Taylor Thomas (girls liked JTT, I liked girls, do math), but because I have a fro, it was resembling the McDonald’s golden arches, only brown. BUT, on that day, I assure you my eyebrows rose higher than my admittedly stupid hair.

“May I help youuu?” The predictably attractive “sales associate” said in a dismissive tone, sounding like her coffee was brewed with Valium, and looking at me like one of the evildoers from the movie, The Witches.

“You don’t sell cars here?” She seemed annoyed at my question. “Oh, no, sorryyyyyyy.”

I looked at a case with just a pen in it, and stared at the glasses and bike as I slumped out of the store. I felt like a kid who ran back into the room labeled “Santa’s House” at a shopping mall, and found him beardless, spending equal time sucking from a flask and one of his elves.

That’s why this story caught my eye, and why I think this bike is so stupid. I don’t like it when someone takes a normal product, slaps a great manufacturer’s name on it, and jacks up the price, as if it’s been turned into something more. A name isn’t pixy dust.

The bike is based on a BMC IMPEC, a very nice road bike. Their top-of-the-line version of this bike is about twelve grand. But, because Lamborghini adds carbon fiber “expertise” (whatever that means for something already made of carbon fiber), put some suede on it, and “assemble it using some automotive build techniques”-meaning what, they use wrenches, tools, and the magical power of human muscles?- it now costs $26,172. Sure, that makes sense.

After all, while the normal BMC bikes are good enough to win the 2011 Tour de France, it certainly isn’t up to the level of the many Aventador buyers, 30 (bike production run) of which certainly engage in long-distance road racing. I bet you didn’t know that banker/rapper/mogul/oil baron could ride 62 miles, could you? You probably thought he was too busy working, enjoying fine foods, trips, wine, and “accessories” to get in the training needed to develop the palate necessary to determine the standard BMC IMPEC as insufficient, didn’t you? You judgmental bastard, Zack. How dare you suggest that people will buy this bike and not ride it. How can you think this will only sell to deluded people that think owning both the car and bike will raise the value of the pair far beyond their initial retail value? Are you saying they won’t ride it? Are you implying it will sit on a stand, next to their Aventador, collecting dust until it is given to their nephew, due to his new-yet-hardly-committed interest in cycling? Are you so insane to think some Lambo drivers aren’t in shape? You probably also assume some buyers have so many cars, the Aventador will hardly see road use after its honeymoon phase, don’t you?

Yes, I do. I think taking a “normal” $12k BMW IMPEC – which I don’t doubt is amazing- and adding some paint and a dramatic press release, then doubling the price, is douchey. It’s sold like a wrist watch, and will probably be treated as such by those that write a check. BMC – despite their well-earned win last year- is still a growing company, so for them, maybe this gets eyes on their products (worked on me, didn’t it?). Fine. But does Lamborghini really need to make the small, 4-figure profit they’ll get from this? Since that’s the price of an optional air freshener in their cars, I doubt it.

Think about what you’re doing, Lamborghini, before you crush a 12 year old’s heart, when his parents say, “We’re going to go see Lamborghinis today!” and then they take you into a fucking bike shop.

Source: Autoblog
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Back in 2005, I worked at New York-based exotic car rental company Gotham Dream Cars. We had a fleet of about 20 exotic cars, mostly Ferrari’s, Lamborghini’s, and Aston Martin’s, but with two Bentley GT’s thrown into the mix.

The kind of people who normally rent Ferrari’s and Lamborghini’s are just like you or me: normal guys who will probably never be able to afford such a car, but can afford a little taste of what it’s like to drive a beautiful Italian exotic for a day or two on some previously scouted and expertly planned canyon roads. They want to hear the wail of the eight, ten, or twelve cylinder engine, feel the mechanical grip offered by the Z-rated tires, and experience the kick of a Gallardo’s single-disc clutch power shifting at redline. Now, I’m not saying I would personally spend up to $2,500 per day of my own money on such an indulgence, but I totally understand those who do.

The people who rented the Bentley’s were not like that. They didn’t care that the GT would go 195 mph. They didn’t care that the all-wheel-drive system was advanced enough that you could enter it, bone stock, in the New York Ice Racing Association and probably win most of the races that year. And they certainly didn’t care that, underneath the sculpted bodylines, the car was heavily based on the Audi A8 / Volkswagen Phaeton architecture. They cared about two things: 1) That it was a Bentley. 2) That they looked rich while driving it.

On more than five occasions during my year-long tenure at Gotham Dream Cars, young, mostly black men would arrive and request the use of the Continental GT for the weekend. The cost for a Friday-to-Monday rental for this vehicle was, at the time, around $4,500. All paid their security deposits, as well as the rental fee, in cash. And none of them could shut up about how they finally got their first record deal with Record Company X and were, “gonna be fly as hell when we roll up to the club in this biaaaaatch!”

Seriously, these guys were spending literally their entire record advance on three days with a Bentley. I’d say that I hope they enjoyed their time with the $180,000 luxo-coupe, but based on what we’d find in the cars afterwards, I know they had a real good time. They would put fewer than 100 miles on the cars, and they would come back reeking of blunt smoke (and sometimes even roaches in the ash tray), with condom wrappers and women’s underwear scattered about the cabin. Come to think of it, they used rented Bentley GT’s the same way I used my mother’s borrowed Mercury Villager in high school.

These are not the kind of people who actually buy Bentley’s. In order to purchase such an automobile, like the 2012 Bentley Continental GTC that is (theoretically) the subject of this review, your net worth should be, for lack of a better word, staggeringly huge. These cars are reserved for titans of industry, their hilariously spoiled, bored third wives, their first wives who took half their money in the divorce, and the hip hop moguls who write the checks to the idiots who spend them on renting the car their new boss drives. You need to be on your 10^th album, not your first.

This is a car that says, “I’m as important as it gets, and I want to remind myself of that every time I need to go to the store.”

And remind you it does. Just sitting, parked outside my house, its large and imposing. The belt line is nearly a foot higher than Zack K’s Miata. The 21-inch wheels wearing Pirelli P-Zero tires would fit nicely into the wheel wells of an Escalade, much less a 2+2 convertible. And, it’s sexy. You can’t help but run your fingers along the sharp creases of the superformed aluminum body. The special process used to treat the aluminum allows Bentley to form more complex shapes using single pieces of metal; just check out that rear ¾ panel. We love the evolutionary styling of the new model GT’s, as they are more aggressive and, yes, prettier than the 2004-2011 models.

The GTC’s interior, which will be immediately familiar to anyone who’s driven a previous-generation Continental, is well crafted and lavish, surrounding the passengers in the perfect mix of contrast-stitched leather, real aluminum, and expensive-looking wood, which has better integrated controls and trim than the first-generation car. The front “cobra-style” seats are supportive but not overly bolstered, and feature heating, cooling, and massage functions. When the top is down, they blow hot air on the back of your neck, a surprisingly functional gimmick. The rear seats are not nearly as useful; in order to put people back there, the driver must be the kind of person who is either a) a small woman, or b) a man who clearly bought the GTC to compensate for his Napoleon Complex. (In all fairness, I can name at least 4 people I know personally who fit into option B). For all intents and purposes, the rear seat is just a nicely appointed leather shelf. The new 3-spoke steering wheel, which we first saw last year on the Continental Supersports, fits the GTC much better than the outgoing, bulbous 4-spoke model, and feels wonderful in your hands. There’s a detachable sunglasses case made from the same woodgrain as the dash (pictured above), which would be extremely cool if it was big enough to hold a real pair of sunglasses; but in reality it’s just something else for someone to steal.

This is the glasses case “closed” with my Dillon Optics inside.

It only takes a few minutes of driving to realize why the GTC is the perfect daily driver for Los Angeles’ well-to-do. A tap of the “Start” button, located just left of the shift lever, brings the 567 horsepower W12 engine to life with a subtle bark, before settling into its vibration-free, silent idle. Dropping the top takes 25 seconds, roughly double the length of time it takes for a Ferrari 458 Spider to lose its roof, but that’s OK, because in this town, it’s fashionable to take twice as long to do something as the task normally requires. The good news is that, in the event it rains, the three-layer soft top keeps out water, wind, and noise flawlessly. While most convertibles look silly with their tops up (we’re looking at you, Maserati GranCabrio), the color-matched cloth roof on our test car looks great. The adjustable air suspension soaks up LA’s poorly maintained roads well, and in “High” mode, can clear the driveway at TST headquarters, a feat normally reserved for SUV’s and cars with a very short wheelbase. Switching to “Sport” mode on less-than-perfect roads yields a noticeable tightening of everything, and the ride is firm, though still not “supercar” stiff. Unfortunately, using Sport suspension on bumpy roads did illicit some cowl shakes, which we expect in lower-end convertibles, but were surprised by in a car this heavy, with this high a price tag. We found ourselves using “Comfort” mode for about 90% of our time with the GTC.

LA means traffic lights, and lots of them. Here, the W12’s 516 lb/ft of torque are maximized at just 1700 RPM, so with a light foot, you can still pull away from lights, hard,  while never exceeding 2,000 RPM.

This is a good thing, because, to put it bluntly, the W12 engine isn’t exactly brilliant to rev. Sure, the turbochargers build power nicely and putting your foot in it, calling up a lower gear from the ZF 6-speed to make a highway pass is like a commercial jetliner at takeoff, but when an exotic car costs $235,000, I want a sound to match. You see, the W12 engine, at its most basic, is two V6 engines turned sideways and stuck together at the crank. The upside to this configuration is compact packaging, in terms of length. The downside is that it sounds like, well, two V6’s. A V12, on the other hand, sounds like two inline-6’s, and doesn’t just make a sound, it screams with emotion. It’s not that the GTC sounds bad, far from it. It’s just that it sounds bland compared to how it looks, or its price tag. For this reason, (plus weight savings, economy improvements, and a lower price), we’d have to say that the new twin-turbo V8 model is really the one to have.

Another downside is the transmission. Though it works well left to its own devices during normal daily use, and it always chose the right gear when left in “Sport Auto,” full manual mode unfortunately disappoints. The paddle shifters, mounted to the steering column, are right out of the Lamborghini Gallardo, but unlike the ($40,000 cheaper) Lamborghini, the Bentley’s transmission doesn’t rev match on downshifts, even in “Sport” mode.

The GTC has separate “Sport” modes for engine/transmission and suspension, and a day in the Malibu canyons meant turning both modes on. The transmission holds gears longer, the throttle response is improved, and the suspension is at it firmest. At 5,501 lbs, the Bentley is a full 1,300 lbs heavier than the Dodge Challenger SRT8, so you wouldn’t expect tight corners to be its forte, but with great gearing, all-wheel-drive, communicative steering, and torque coming on so low, it truly feels 1,000 lbs lighter than it actually is. There is noticeable understeer while braking hard into a corner, but the traction control does actually allow left-foot-braking at corner exit to keep the front end under control.

It’s at this juncture that we realize how much we’re kidding ourselves, and we return to the original point: who buys these cars? The list of customers doesn’t include “weekend canyon carvers.” It doesn’t include “track warriors,” and if it did, they would most likely have a dedicated track car whose grille would be adorned with something besides a Flying B. The Bentley GTC is still the king of the exotic daily drivers. It’s a top-tier commuter car, a cruise-up-the-PCH-with-your-lady car, and, as our rental customers frequently pointed out, a roll-up-to-the-club car. And, if you live in the north and have an extra $2,000 for snow tires, it will drive great all year long. No one is ever going to buy a Bentley and push its air suspension, its brakes, or its engine to the limit on the track. They don’t actually need it to go 195 mph. They just need to know it can.

We truly enjoyed our time with the new Bentley GTC. It’s beautiful, powerful, and lavish, and even if the driver isn’t actually that important, like, say, a lowly auto journalist who’s just writing about it, or a rapper who hasn’t even dropped their first single and is foolishly spending their advance renting one, it certainly makes you feel like a million bucks, for just over a quarter of that.

by Zack Klapman

This video is titled “Caddy Ruckus”, and that name is 100% accurate. D3 Cadillac are the psychotic geniuses behind the 1000HP beast known as “Le Monstre.” They are the premier engineers for aftermarket CTS-V tuning, turning them into  playful puppies, but with the strength of 3 of Michael Vick’s Pitbulls. And they’re not stuffy engineers, hiding their machines from anyone who doesn’t have a black AMEX, a sail boat, and a wife named Ursula. These guys like to have fun, and share the fruits of their labor.

So for this video they gave two cars to pro Formula Drift driver Tyler McQuarrie and INDY racer  J.R. Hildebrand, and let them loose on the town. And when I say, “the town”, I mean these guys treated it like GTA. Burnouts in the parking garage? Check. (And serious fun…I’ve heard). Donuts? Drifting roundabouts? Sure guys, you have fun. Hooning is fun, but doing it in a loaned car, with another car to play with? Why, the hell, do people buy boats. Make the jump to watch the smokey, angry, noisy show.

Source: D3 Cadillac

If you never saw our own CTS-V fun, here it is.

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by Zack Klapman

According to people with calculators and binders computers full of numbers, diesel car sales in America are up 35% from this time last year. It’s probably a socialist plot or something, because last year’s sales were up 27% from 2010. So it’s a trend. Somehow, most people I talk to respond, “But they’re so loud and smelly.” I have to stop hanging out with 60 year-old women… I was pleasantly surprised to find out last year 60% of Audi A3s sold were TDIs, so even people that want a Golf dressed in fancy clothes are paying attention. The movement is growing, as it should; torque, efficiency, clean, quiet. From strictly a driver’s impression side, there’s nothing to dislike. (Yes, there’s usually a higher initial cost, and fuel can be more expensive, but one thing at a time people.)

Since supply follows demand, if this continues, maybe we’ll start getting more diesel models currently only enjoyed by Europe *cough* high-performance BMW diesels! *cough, hocccccccccchhhh, ahem! Sorry!* Mazda is also selling a CX-5d in Japan and doing quite well. And there’s the diesel Cruze, and Volvo diesel Hybrid…I’ve never nerded out so much on such “boring” cars. In today’s quest for high MPG you usually choose between spineless hybrid or spineless ICE. This gives you the MPG, without the fear of uninvited rectal exam-via-semi when merging. Since I’ve been bitching about diesel cars for a year, I’d like to think I helped sell at least 1/16th of a car. I’d like to be paid in Euros, please .

Press Release after the jump:

U.S. Clean Diesel Auto Sales Increase 35 Percent in 1st Quarter of 2012
Hybrid and Electric Car Sales Also Jump Dramatically

Washington, D.C. – Clean diesel automobile sales in the United States increased an impressive 35 percent during the first quarter of 2012 continuing the strong gains in diesel car purchases in 2011, according to new sales information compiled by HybridCars.Com and Baum and Associates.

The U.S. sales of clean diesel autos increased 39.6 percent in March 2012 over March 2011, 42.9 percent in February, and 21.2 percent in January.

During the first quarter, U.S. hybrid car sales increased 37.2 percent and the emerging plug-in electric car market saw a sales increase of 323 percent. The overall automobile market increased 13.4 percent in 2012, according to the new sales information.

Month (2012 v. 2011) Clean Diesel +/- Hybrids +/- Overall Market +/-
March 2012 +39.6% +39.6% +12.7%
February 2012 +42.9% +55.4% +13.8%
January 2012 +21.2% +11.4% +11.5%

(Source: HybridCars.Com and Baum and Associates)

Higher Fuel Prices Have Americans Seeking More Fuel Efficient Cars
“This 35 percent increase in clean diesel auto sales during the first quarter of 2012 is a continuation of the 27 percent sales jump in 2011,” said Allen Schaeffer, the Executive Director of the Diesel Technology Forum.

“With higher fuel prices, Americans are seeking more fuel efficient cars so it’s understandable that diesel and hybrid cars are showing such impressive sales increases. In addition, the new federal fuel efficiency standards that will required a 54.5 mpg average by 2025 will also boost clean diesel auto sales, as diesel cars are 20 to 40 more fuel efficient than gasoline versions.

Clean Diesel Autos Are Among the Most Environmentally Friendly Available
“American drivers are also recognizing the environmental benefits of the new clean diesel technology,” Schaeffer said. “Earlier this month, the Mercedes-Benz S 250 CDI BlueEFFICIENCY clean diesel received the prestigious ’2012 World Green Car’ award during the New York International Auto Show. This followed the January announcement that the Volkswagen Passat TDI clean diesel had been selected the ’2012 Earth, Wind & Power Car of the Year for Most Earth Friendly’ automobile.

“I expect clean diesel auto sales to increase further as several new diesel cars are introduced in the U.S. market in the next year,” Schaeffer said.

Numerous New Clean Diesel Autos to Soon Be Available In U.S.
The 2012 Porsche Cayenne clean diesel has just been introduced into the U.S. market and the following auto makers have announced plans to sell additional new clean diesel autos in the U.S.:

Audi announced that it would be selling an Audi A6, A8 and Q5 TDI diesel in the U.S. in 2013. The A4 may still see a diesel version in 2014 or even as early as 2013.

Chrysler announced that it will be introducing a Jeep Grand Cherokee diesel in 2013 or 2014, and possibly other Jeep diesels later. They also plan a new version of the discontinued Dakota pickup that will include a diesel, but timing is uncertain.

Ford will offer diesel and gasoline engines in the new Transit full-size commercial van that goes on sale in the U.S. next year.

General Motors announced that a diesel version of the Cadillac ATS would available in the U.S. in the near future. A diesel version of the hot-selling Chevrolet Cruze will begin sales in the U.S. in 2013.

Mazda will become the first Asian car manufacturer to sell diesel cars in the U.S. when it introduces its SKYACTIV-D 2.2-liter clean diesel engine here.

The Mercedes S350 BlueTEC marks the return of the diesel-powered Mercedes-Benz S-Class to the United States in 2012 after a 17-year absence. Mercedes also still plans to bring a diesel in the GLK and C-class for a total of eight diesel models by 2014.

The newly redesigned 2012 VW Beetle will once again feature a TDI diesel version with the possible introduction of a Tiguan diesel later.

See a list of all the Clean Diesel Vehicles Currently Available in the U.S.

ABOUT THE DIESEL TECHNOLOGY FORUM
The Diesel Technology Forum is a non-profit national organization dedicated to raising awareness about the importance of diesel engines, fuel and technology. Forum members are leaders in clean diesel technology and represent the three key elements of the modern clean-diesel system: advanced engines, vehicles and equipment, cleaner diesel fuel and emissions-control systems. For more information visit www.dieselforum.org.

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by Zack Klapman

If the picture above isn’t enough motivation for you to subscribe to the DRIVE network… then how the hell did you even end up at this website? Both these cars are crazy fast, and striking to look at, though they appear to be from different planets. The Ariel Atom 500 has 475HP from the sickly engineered marriage of two Hayabusa engines. Weighs nothing, big power, no roof, running free in its natural habitat. Excellent.

But because Chris Harris is Chris Harris, be brought another car. I am Jack’s raging jealousy… Why the 2nd car? In case the Atom was boring? Or not fun enough? He’s like Amy Winehouse bringing moonshine to a bar. Why ask why, when it means watching the 650HP Noble M600 fly around the track. I love this car. When it appeared Top Gear I fell for it, simply from the shape and the sound; a Volvo engine with turbos and the balls of pikey prize fighter bolted on. Jump to watch a great double-header (something I will never, ever say in regards to an actual baseball double-header).

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by Zack Klapman

Driving in the rain is one of my favorite things to do. You get easy sliding at lower speeds, less tire wear, and without announcing your actions to the world with tire squeal. And then there’s hitting big puddles at 60MPH. Nothing like car-made geyser. Whenever it rains, I find an excuse to drive.

While some other motorsports believe it goes against god to drive in the rain (You do NOT drive through his tears!!), the ones we like push right through, rain or shine. Obviously,  for rally or F1, it’s old news, but I didn’t think a professional drift event would stay on in the rain. But they do. This year at the Odaiba round of the D1 Grand Prix, it was pouring rain. It wasn’t just damp; there were serious puddles on the course. That made for some sick photos and video. SpeedHunters brought it our attention with their sick photo gallery, and YouTubers provided the video clips, which we’ve assembled below. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going rain dancing.

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Source: Youtube

by Zack Klapman

Welcome back, for this week’s dose of The Smoking Tire Podcast. Last weekend Matt took an old RV to Coachella Music Festival. He thought it would save money, and be pimpin’, at the same time. So of course, there’s a story. We also talk about what to buy for $40k that’s fun, 996 Porsches, and Australian alcoholism. Joining us to tell the tales are Matt’s friend Nick and actor/very fast car nut, Drake Kemper. Jump.

RSS: http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/The-Smoking-Tire.xml

MP3:  http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/Smoking%20Podcast%20014.mp3

Follow on twitter: @thesmokingtire @zackklapman @hayesdata @datilly @drakekemper

by Zack Klapman

Today it was announced that VW bought Ducati for $1.12 billion. People are calling it a “trophy purchase”, something Ferdinand Piech did just because he loves Ducatis, and VW had a spare billion lying around that needed to be re-invested, lest they be forced to give more cash to shareholders; something shareholders would hate. Also sold today, for $1 billion, was the picture-violating tyrant known as Instagram. Question: Why is a company with 12 employees and no tangible product, that does nothing but make your pictures look as clear as a Bigfoot picture, worth almost as much as the greatest motorcycle company ever?

You see, Ducati builds things like this, the 1198 SP.

I think it’s the best looking “race replica” bike ever. But even if you disagree, that’s irrelevant. The point is someone made it. Using elements extracted from the ground. People got hurt digging up metal ore. Designers probably had t look for inspiration in a smooth pebble found deep in the Mediterranean or something. People had to draw it, then guys had to make pieces of metal, then put that metal together. It turns on, it makes noise, it can even carry a human across vast distances. It’s. A. THING. And it’s not the only one they make; they make a bunch of these things! And they’re all different! And they make life great!

Now let’s look at what Instagram does.

Here’s a photograph of a castle in France that my cousin visited on her honeymoon:

Timeless beauty, ancient architecture rich with stories and history. Now let’s put the same picture through Instagram, and see what it “makes” it into:

See what I mean? Ruined. All the details of the architecture are completely lost, the color is completely uniform, most of the windows have inexplicably disappeared, I just don’t get it. She can’t point to this and say “Here’s where we honeymooned.” We’d have to put her t sleep. But somehow, by getting millions of people seeking individuality to make their pictures look like everyone else’s: billion dollars.

Instagram is just an electronic filter, it’s a program, ones and zeroes. It lays an effect on a picture to make that lake house picture from this summer look like it was taken by a newspaper in 1973 after a triple homicide.

And I get why Facebook bought it. Instagram was probably stealing people away for picture sharing. So you buy the competition. Makes sense, especially when you have an IPO coming up. It’s certainly a more fiscally responsible purchase than VW buying Ducati. Rumor is Piech just really likes Ducatis, and regretted not buying it back in 1985 when it was dirt cheap.

“The Ducati purchase is driven by VW’s passion for nameplates rather than industrial or financial logic,” said Arndt Ellinghorst, analyst at London-based Credit Suisse.

Hey, if I had that much money around, I would do it too. It’s cool to be connected to something you love. But at least with Ducati, you’re connected to an actual thing. You’ve bought a place, with people, and metal things, that make shit.

Kids today, what’s the world coming to, blah blah blah.

Source: Reuters, Business Insider

by Zack Klapman

My 9th grade biology teacher was very cool. She rode a Harley, wore an old-school leather jacket, and was probably only 6 years past “wicked haht.” She was a great teacher and person. She lived on a large property up in the Santa Cruz mountains with her boyfriend, whose name I can’t remember (lets call him Ben). He was 15-ish years her junior and raced vintage Ducatis at the World Superbike races at Laguna Seca. In her barn, next to 5 or 6 motorcycles of various age and condition, sat a mint 1988 BMW M6.

As you’d expect of someone who races vintage bikes, “Ben” was a very capable mechanic; Low-siding in the Corkscrew is good motivation for learning to fix things. As we headed toward age 16, Ben had been kind enough to help me and my friend Mike restore Mike’s dad’s 1966 Plymouth Valiant Wagon. It had faded from it’s awful, original bronze to the awful color or dirt. Many lessons were learned on that car, but I digress. The real gem was the M6. I specifically remember Ben saying, “It has a fridge there between the back buckets.” This blew 15 year old Zack’s mind. “Wow, mister, really?? Cooooool.”

At the time my mom was driving a 1991 BMW 525i, so I wasn’t googly eyed because it was a BMW. The M6 was just so much better. It looked so cool, sitting in a barn, the body and interior as good as new. It was way better looking (an easy win for a coupe), with little reminders me of the original 2002. The shape of the  C-pillar caught my eye, and the “shark nose” front end really stood out; still does today.

I loved the look of it. It has a great profile, curving slightly down at the ends; a look popularized on most decent-looking sedans (CLS, Sonata, Optima, A7) on the road today. It just had a presence to it; unique, sporty, but still reserved enough to stalk through traffic without drawing too much attention. Aside from some little pieces like the wing, M badges and more aggressive front end, they weren’t that distinguishable from a regular 6 series. There’s just something about their shape that caught my eye, and still does today. In a world of Ferrari and Corvette mini skirts, this was an office-appropriate pencil skirt; enough curve to draw looks but incapable of drawing scorn.

I remember the car being white with light grey interior. According to M Registry, it wasn’t possible to get a white M6 in N. America with the rear A/C console/ cooler box. So either it was re-painted or (more likely) “Ben” installed this extra piece himself. This was in 1997, but I know the car was white, it had the A/C console in the back and because I hadn’t indulged in caffeine yet – let alone other substances – so my memory was sharp… You know what? The car was white, it had the fridge in the back seat, eat me.

We were forbidden from driving it; a wise decision. Had I been allowed time with it I would have found the 3.5L Inline-6 S38 engine to be sublimely quick. In America this engine was fitted with catalytic converters in an attempt to protect our air. (10 years later we built SUVs and later brought drifting to America, so HA!) This knocked power down from 286HP (European spec) to 256HP and 243 tq., at 6,500 and 4,500 RPM, respectively.

Considering at the time a Ferrari 328 GTS made only 260HP, the M6 wasn’t slow. Road & Track hit 60MPH in 6.1 seconds (328 GTS took 5.5s), and a guy named Rug Cunningham (I so hope he wore a toupee) hit 176MPH in a bone-stock 1987 M6 while driving it in the La Carrera Classic race in Mexico. It was fast. It had stiffer sway bars, lower springs, and 15% stiffer suspension compared to the regular E24 6-series. Disc brakes all around, with 4-pistons calipers in front and a Getrag 5-speed. It was also about $20k cheaper than the Ferrari. Good car.

Capable of 176 MPH indicated.

The American cars came with leather everywhere, even on the dashboard if you wanted to brave the sun warp-age. They had power seats, an airbag, and of course, the chilled rear console I can’t seem to get over. Looking at it, I felt like an exchange student from Namibia today; so transfixed on the cabin’s amenities. Today very few cars under $100k have the split back seat, and I’ve only seen beverage chillers in minivans or Rolls Royce’s. To a 15 year old working on a sap-stained wagon filled with black widows and rust, this was like stealth royalty. Fit for a king looking to sneak out, maybe for a date with someone he isn’t distantly related to.

The M6 sat in the barn during our entire “apprenticeship”, and I never saw Ms. Craddock drive it. I have no idea what became of it, but I hope they kept it. I can’t imagine a better home for a car like that. Like her, when it was needed for work it was all business. Present and respectable. But outside the office, that car rode a Harley and a bike-racing cabin boy.

Source: BMW M Registry

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by Zack Klapman

The new Porsche Cayenne Diesel S might have a 345HP Audi 4.2L V-8 TDI engine, that makes a delicious 590 ft-lb mountain of perfectly cured torque.

Super torquey, high-performance Cayenne diesel. Excellent.

 
No plans for it to come to America.

Course not.

Source: World Car Fans

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by Zack Klapman

The announcement of the NHTSA’s proposal to have every new car, van, truck and bus fitted with throttle override systems, has me torn. Not because I don’t understand why; it’ll save lives. It eliminates the human error that caused people to cry wolf “stuck throttle.” Done. (Although it will kill the art of the “brake stand.”)

But in my cynical, senseless little world this a further weakening of our species. These systems are easy to implement, prevent stupid lawsuits and keep David Arkansas from accidentally jumping the Grand Canyon with his family screaming from the first exciting thing they’ve done that whole damn trip. But I’m still annoyed, because 1. We’re continuing to child-proof the road, rather than have the children (drivers) learn not to touch the sockets, and 2. How the hell can we say pedals are dangerous, but a system the reads completely trivial Tweets and Facebook updates to you while you drive a heavy, moving auto-mother-fucking-bile, is totally ok?

“The NHTSA proposal aims to minimize the risk that drivers will lose control of their vehicles as a result of either accelerator control system disconnections or accelerator pedal sticking or floor mat entrapment.”

First of all, “floor mat entrapment” sounds like a shitty horror movie. I know it’s just a technical term created for the sake of brevity, but it sounds like there’s a population of gnomes hiding under floor mats, waiting to snag gas pedals. I don’t know what the gnomes’ end game is, but like the gnomes below, they aren’t planners.

Anyway, all this means is the car knows when you’re trying to stop and cuts off the throttle. With electronic throttles it’s probably easy to program, and many companies have already implemented the system. In the future, if you press the gas and brake at the same time, or if the throttle is “stuck” under your foot and you hit the brake, the car stops. Although, in the cases where people pressed only the evil gas pedal, they will still hurtle to possible doom. So look for all gas pedals to be removed by 2017.

“America’s drivers should feel confident that anytime they get behind the wheel they can easily maintain control of their vehicles – especially in the event of an emergency,”

They could maintain control, by putting their foot on the correct pedal. Dick move, I know, but I can’t believe they’ll propose this, but allow MINI’s Connect App. What’s more dangerous, having 2 pedals, one that makes car go, and one that makes car stop (yikes!) or having your car shoot distractions at you like, “Steve said ‘lol’ to Jamie’s picture”? Don’t tell me fireworks are illegal because they’re dangerous, but sell bazookas over the counter (As opopsed to a prescription bazooka, which is legit.)

Driving is already mindless to many, and although this system makes complete logical sense, as an attentive driver (and brake stand artist) it just bugs me that a few cases of bad driving, sensationalized into “unintended acceleration”, has gone this far. Besides, couldn’t we use a thinning of the herd? We’re at 7B people and running out of resources. Back in the day you had to be able to kill a Wooly Mammoth (archaeologist flame suit, on) but nowadays you don’t even need to remember right versus left. In defense of the accidental speeders, our driver education is as thorough and challenging as the instructions for a boogie board.

I understand that to most people a car is an appliance, and they operate it with the attention they do the dishwasher. Like any appliance, advancements are part of the evolution. Maybe early dishwashers threw out kitchen knives and impaled family members against the opposite wall. And when they wanted to fix the problem, cynics like me opposed the changes. “Why can’t people just wear a suit of armor in the kitchen? I don’t get it.”

But normal people don’t want to wear armor. They want a car that is dummy-proof. People (understandably) want the guess work taken out of a panic situation. That Nissan Quest owner isn’t an adrenaline junkie, they’re just people. I get it, I do. I wouldn’t turn down a system that auto-deploys my parachute if something goes wrong. If they hit the brakes, it means they want to stop.

I’m just annoyed at how easy everything is becoming. I saw an ad the other day in SkyMall for a 360 degree neck pillow. Not just for sleeping, just to make it easier to hold your head up when you sit. WTF. You shouldn’t need help holding your head up unless you broke your neck. It didn’t say, “While recovering from brain stem surgery”, or “good for recent car crash survivors.” I checked the cover of the magazine….nope, it isn’t Physical Therapists Monthly. It’s SkyMall. This wasn’t for sleep, it was for going about your day, or the strenuous gauntlet that is long hours at the computer. I swear, we’re 3 years out from having an optional body cast.

Sit?! Geez, ask me to carry telephone poles why don't you.

Seriously. We’re going to buy suits made of CRFP, which dangle from the ceiling, holding us as the perfect position to sit at a desk and stare and a glowing square. Our hands will be held just above the keyboard, and we will peck at keys without exerting the excruciating, life-threatening, world’s strongest man contest-like chore known as sitting up.

The public has 60 days to comment on the proposal, so speak if you will. I won’t, because there’s a lot of drivers out there that need this, otherwise they’ll accidentally kill smart people like us. I just hope the system is good enough to tell the difference between my left-foot braking and “Mother of god we’re going to DIE!” braking.

Source: Autoblog

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by  Zack Klapman

How many of us would benefit from driving instruction?  All of us. Yes, even you. Ah, you’ve been driving since you were 5? Don’t care. You’re from Finland? Allow me to introduce you to t-shirts, sit there. Oh, your last name is Shumacher and you’re an ageless, battery-powered driving robot from the future who doesn’t make mistakes? Wrong. Sit down, fair-haired cyborg. The fact is, seasoned racers, even driving instructors (as you will read later) can learn new things with the right person riding shotgun. Many enthusiasts possess more skill than the average commuter, but there is a massive gap between simple car control and true technique.

This is something Peter Krause addressed in his exceptional post, appropriately titled, “Track Wisdom.” He calls it “A series of ‘pearls’ in response to threads on various [driving fourms].” He goes into the true meaning of “tenths”, tunnel vision, cornering, and more. Remember, Jackie Stewart never felt like he could drive the ‘Ring perfectly. If he had room for improvement, you do too.

Many people put driving instruction way down the “to buy” list, somewhere after “buy sweet Adamantium lug nuts” and “Die in my sleep.” A lot of times it’s because of cost, sometimes it’s ego, but if you want to improve as a driver, swallowing your pride and skipping the bars for a month (or two) to afford time with a pro is more beneficial that you’d think. During the Hyundai launch at Spring Mountain, one journalist came off track hating the Genesis. Then after some instruction, he changed his mind. It wasn’t the car that was bad, it was him.

Obviously real-world practice is the way to go, but until you head to the track, read Peter’s well-illustrated and detailed article. The tips and issues he addresses will have you thinking back to your last session, analyzing if you’d made these mistakes, and hopefully bring about improvement for the next time.
One tip that stood out for me was about steering input speed:

“Part of his difficulty was that he was trying his hardest to drive quickly and decisively, yet his quest for “smoothness” was getting in the way. “

I do this. I remember doing it in several turns driving at Spring Mountain. Sometimes I’ll be so focused on being smooth, I treat the car like someone hired me to transport a toothpick sculpture. “Careful..carefullllllllll.” But decisive motions don’t mean slow crashing dorifto. Peter was working with a student who was a regular student of various instructors, and this tip helped him break through a year-long plateau. I’ll certainly be thinking of it next track day I get.

Letting OFF the brakes:

“it takes a real artist (and a lot of practice) to “meld” together the sensitive transition between the end of threshold braking…”

This is something that gets harder the faster you go (duh). It’s not just when you brake, but how. The worst offenders brake like a porn star, “ON! OFF! ON! OFF!  Quick! Choke me while I go through the chicane!” There’s nuances to it, and they have to be practiced. Braking technique has equal importance to steering or throttle modulation, especially as your skill and competitive level increases.

The magical “tenths”:

Oh the “tenths!” For those that haven’t heard this term, it refers to the level of skill and aggression you’re driving at. Often times over-confident newbs will shrug, “I was only going like 2 or 3/10ths, tops.” Ok, Scion xB. We all have our own gauge for personal tenths, but Peter really lays out what they mean. We use this term a lot, but it was really educational to hear what the “true definitions” are. I say “true” because he is much more qualified to define this common term than I. He breaks it down to 9.5, even 10.5; very interesting stuff.

One interesting point was that racing drivers aren’t driving at 10/10ths all the time. Maybe I’m stupid, or just don’t follow racing as closely as others, but I assumed-outside an endurance race-drivers are trying to go as fast as possible on every corner, straight, or inch of track. You might have had a coach that said “You gotta give it 110%.” What JV football coach Bill doesn’t realize is that in a car, being over-zealous can end in an “accidental warming”, AKA, “fire.” An outfielder throwing too hard to 2nd might miss his target, but since baseball games last a fortnight, his mistake just gets logged as an “error.” No one counts the “errors” in racing, because the log would just say, “Went too fast, broke car on hard, stationary object.”

According to Peter, 8/10ths is where a lot of racers “settle” after the chaos of a start. They do this because it’s sustainable and consistent, with a low margin of error. Higher levels of driving are reserved for battles, qualifying, or the end of a race. Outside that it’s too hard to sustain the marriage of speed, attention and perfect technique for an extended period of time. This doesn’t mean racing speeds is done with the attention of a DMV worker; I just thought drivers were going for broke every lap. Perhaps that’s what separates the field. I certainly hope Senna and Rossi aren’t “only” at 8/10ths in the videos I’ve seen, because 10/10ths from them would simply un-make the universe.

Again, this isn’t even 10% of the information Peter put up. He addresses more issues, and goes into detail only someone that’s been doing this for decades can. I’m more like a parrot repeating pieces of conversation heard throughout the day. He talks about adrenaline-induced tunnel vision, carrying speed, and touches on vintage racing etiquette (Don’t drive like a dick with expensive, old cars around you.) The article is a few thousand words, but if you truly ingest the information-and do some conscious, structured, on-the-road training- you will become a better, faster driver.

Source: Peter Krause.net

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by Zack Klapman

It’s a double dose of eco-friendly, super-car madness. For only $1,500 a Norwegian company will give your Ferrari FF 875HP, and cut it’s emissions by almost 70%. Yay, corn. And an American company wants to build a 2,000HP hyper-car that goes 300MPH, with a high-end interior. Jump for more.

First, an 857HP E85-powered Ferrari FF.

Oh the magic of corn. Although it’s a fairly poor food as far as nutrients go, after riding in that 952 HP Nissan GTR last month (click for video), I am a fan of using it’s blood to make cars go fast. And it allows you to park next to team Prius and tell them your car is almost as nice to trees as theirs.

For instance, say you went out and bought a Ferrari FF. I maintain I wouldn’t buy a $300,000+ hatch-back to carry my children in, only because no child that fits in the back of that car can be trusted to not touch anything. Maybe if I sedated them with a tranquilizer gun first, but even then, they could unconsciously drool on something. But, say you did buy one, but you want to do your part to keep the planet from over-heating. What to do?

Easy, bring the meager sum of €1,500 to the Norwegian company Customized.no. For the price of some FF lug nuts, your car gets an E85 conversion. I really wish Billy Mays was still alive, because he should be selling this on late-night TV, “It’s just, that, easy!” I’m blown away at the price and simplicity of the kit, but the real craziness is the resulting power gain: 224 more horsepower. That’s a grand total of 875HP. And that is just ridiculous. “Kids, put down the animal crackers for a minute, daddy needs to race this stupid Aventador from a roll. Say “Bye bye Aventador.” (Kid) ” Buy, buy Aben-the-door.”

Not only is the power just ludicrous (and yes, kids, an 875HP hatch-back is ludicrous), it also chops your emissions down to the level of a diesel VW Polo Bluemotion. From 360g/Km (stock) to under 100g/Km. This is like the formula for alchemy. Crazy, dangerously-fast super car that’s just as eco-friendly as a re-usable grocery bag. Let’s take all the corn products out of food, put it through a juicer, and give free almost-race gas to everyone. Who’s with me?!

Source: World Car Fans

Next up: The notyetbuilt Maxximus Prodigy:

“Americaaaaa! F*** yeah! Gonna build a car thatgoesfasterthanthespeedoflight! Americaaaa, f*** yeah! Faster than a Veyron, nicer than a Rolls Royce!”

Maybe. That’s what you will hear from the promotional video above. The short version is: Maxximus Technologies, the makers of a record-setting Ultima GTR-based car called “The LNG 2000″, have a new super car called “The Prodgiy” on the drawing board. Their last car, the LNG 2000, hit 60MPH in 1.96s, and ran the 1/4 in 9.63 at 159.9MPH. If all goes according to plan the Prodigy will have between 1,600 and 2,000HP, rev to 10k RPM, hit 100MPH in 4.5 seconds and have a top speed of 300 MPH. It will do all of this running on Liquid Natural Gas. Lofty goals, but in this crazy world, where Tom Hanks’ son is allowed to rap, who knows?

Video link Previous car: Maxximus LNG 2000

Chief designer Marlon Kirby says the engine will have no cams, rock arms or push rods, putting less stress on the engine and making more power and a higher red-line. He also says that because LNG burns cleaner, it’s better for the environment. Technically, yes, but I doubt 2,000HP saves many whales.  It will also have a luxurious interior, featuring a 2,000 Watt Macintosh sound system, Wi-fi, and a map to show you where LNG filling stations are.

At the moment I’m skeptical. Amazing technology, a heavy fancy interior, 2,000HP a wheat grass-drinking psychic could love; what’s not to like? Who doesn’t want a 2,000HP car. And it would be a great flag-ship for LNG. Nothing gets eyeballs like 300MPH.  And for the people who see alternative energy as a diabolical plot from Obama and the makers of Birkenstocks, this would be like a Texas-raised UFC champion testifying on its behalf. Plus these guys are so patriotic they make G.I. JOE look like a North Korean dictator, proven by Jeff McMahan, global Dir. of Marketing and 24-hour golf apparel model. I believe his direct quote was, “America, America, America.”

But we’ve all read things like this before. Every month someone says they’re building the next great super-car, and these numbers are higher than anything I’ve seen. I think, for now at least, the Veyron SS is the highest peak of speed and refinement capable by humans. It took billions of dollars and the combined forces of Bugatti and VW to make it. I’m not saying we (or anyone else) can’t make a car that’s faster and better, but to make it simultaneously space-ship fast, stable, luxurious, and drivable will be very difficult. You can put some lambs wool carpets and an iTouch in a top fuel car, too, doesn’t make it a good car.

It’s easy to say what you would like to build. The difficulty comes when you actually build it. The proof will be in the record-breaking pudding.

Source: Maxximus via World Car Fans

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by Zack K

Chevy wants to know why 20 somethings aren’t buying cars. Easy: We don’t have a lot of money, many of us don’t need them, and lots of them suck.

Apparently no one can understand why “millennials” (people aged 20-30, born in the 80s or early 90s) aren’t buying cars at the rate their parents did. “No one” being the NY Times, and a journo who thinks riding in a used Porsche is just super. Earlier this week Derek Kreindler pointed out in brilliantly simple English why they (we) aren’t buying Chevy’s, and why hiring a 37 year old consultant from MTV won’t help. As a “millennial” (ugh, branding), I’d like to contribute my own explanation.

Research company Gartner found that 46% of people age 18-24 would choose having the internet over a car.

The journalist’s response to that statistic:

“But don’t these young people realize they can get Internet access at any corner coffee shop? A car is something special. It’s personal. It’s a mark of accomplishment.”

Yes, but I can bring the internet into any room in my house; bringing the entire world with it. Allow me to explain the internet not that you write for an online publication or anything : A car used to be the best source of independence. It could take you away from your house to meet friends, find a job, see new sights, explore the neighborhoods, see culture, bands, movies, or just get away for a bit. As I said to my friend yesterday in reference to getting laid in high school, “When you’re in high school, your car is your apartment.”

What Ms. Lareau and NYT seem to have forgotten is that the internet can do all of that, and in some cases (global exploration, variety of sights and music in a short amount of time), better than a car. Before you grab your keyboard and start writing that the internet can’t possibly replicate personal interaction, the vibe of a concert, the smell of a forest or the relaxation of a long drive; I agree. But life can certainly be a lot more interesting and diverse now, with little effort, than the days before the internet. I grew up with both the web and a car. At the time the internet was just a bud of  of what it is now. The longest movie you’d stand to download was 1 minute long, AIM wasn’t around, Facebook didn’t exist, nor did Google Earth, YouTube, Flickr or any of the other countless ways to entertain, educate, explore and interact that exist today. You can expose yourself to more things in less time than in a car. Want to get a general idea of what the landscape of India looks like? Car versus Google Earth. Go. See?

Today, online, we can shop more efficiently (and get better prices), apply for jobs online (many require it), conduct business, go to the bank, talk to multiple friends at once, blahblahblahblahblah. There are so many forms of exploration, isolation, socialization, education and escape online; all previous reasons a car was essential. Who will go to a coffee shop to watch a movie? Bandwidth aside, try getting your significant other to join you for movie night at Starbucks. Yeah, who wouldn’t give up the convenience of shopping, watching, talking, learning, reading, researching – having everything the globe has to offer, at your fingertips, in your own home – when they can drive to a cold room, drink burnt coffee and shitty food, and do all those things surrounded by strangers.

"Damnit. If I did this at the Dunkin Donuts, I could afford a car."

Young people still like cars. We still want cars. But there’s several contributing factors to the drop in interest: cost, gas and the increase of urban living instead of the suburbs. All of those are totally valid reasons to skip buying a car. Just last week a friend was weighing the pros of buying a new Audi versus the con of a payment (and thus, not being able to go out). She chose to keep her social fund flush and bought a Mazda3.

A car may be individual, special, a mark of accomplishment, but to many people it’s just not necessary. When I lived in downtown Denver, I only drove my car to ski or to visit my girlfriend; twice a week at most. Lucky for me, it happened to be the first year gas was over $4/gallon. I’m sure I saved thousands of dollars compared to previous years. Take away skiing, date locally, and you erase the need for daily access to a car. We have student loans, a high cost of living, health insurance (those who can afford it) to pay for and an uncertain financial future. I understand why they aren’t out test driving a Chevy.

I mention Chevy specifically because they have hired Ross Martin, 37 year-old VP of MTV Scratch, a division of Viacom that consults brands, helping them get in touch with customers. According to the NY Times piece, “The strategy is to infuse General Motors with the same insights that made MTV reality shows like “Jersey Shore” and “Teen Mom” breakout hits. ”

“Insight” and “Jersey Shore” should never be said in the same sentence again. Here’s my quick take on the allure of these shows: We watch Jersey Shore because either see them as neanderthals playing “Drink. Punch. Fuck” for our entertainment or as gods, commanding you to buy makeup, hair gel and a used Escalade.

I don’t know a single “millenial” that watches “16 and pregnant”, but it seems like a show you watch to make yourself feel better. “Wow. I live on the ground behind  an apartment building, but by comparison, I’m doing pretty good.” How will the guy that gave teenagers who lack the motor skills to open a condom TV “stardom” be able to tell you what people like me want to buy?!

If you infuse GM with the “insight” that created these shows, you’ll have a car designed to communicate drinking, tanning, fighting, vanity, and accidents. These shows are successful because they just draw attention in the cheapest ways possible. The car equivalent would be a monster truck with a 100% blank interior; I’m talking vapid, flat, white plastic. It’d have no hood or fenders, green flames would come out of the hood constantly, it would have disco lights, run on the blood of freshly-slaughtered lambs, and it would come with a P.A. system with pre-recorded insults (“You Prius is a dumb b*tch! Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.).

"I'd love to give you my thoughts on the current automotive economy, just lemme finish this Algebra HW."

“”They think of a car as a giant bummer,” said Mr. Martin. “Think about your dashboard. It’s filled with nothing but bad news.”" No we don’t you (tourettes explosion)! Bad news on the dash board? Why, because it says we have a fixed amount of fuel? We bought a car, we know it takes gas. Gas is a major expense nowadays, but it’s not a “bummer”, k “dude”? It’s a car, it takes gas, we are aware of this information whether we look at the dash or not.

“Last summer, Mr. Martin and his team temporarily transformed part of the G.M. lobby into a loftlike space reminiscent of a coffee shop in Austin or Seattle, with graffiti on the walls and skateboards and throw pillows scattered around. As part of its “Millennial-Con,” Scratch brought in viral video stars like Sergio Flores, known as the Sexy Sax Man, a musician with a mullet and a denim jacket.”

I get that you need fresh blood, new ideas, to be in touch with your market, etc. but tossing all the designers a Sector 9 board and a pillow won’t infuse a spicy, youthful idealism into the offices and pencils. I feel they’re over-thinking this. From my end it isn’t this complicated. Just make good-looking cars that are competitively priced. No one bought the Aveo? No shit. It was ugly. The Sonic that replaced it, on the other hand, is great. It looks good, it’s fun to drive, it’s cheap. Bam. Done. Instead of hiring an old guy to put up a bunch of trivial, stereotypical “young people stuff” on the walls, talk to (or hire) young people.

Derek nailed this mistake on the head, so please, take the time to read his explanation as to why this is a mistake. The short sum up is this:

“If I had the secret to marketing to youth, I’d probably flying into Mustique right now. But I do. We want to buy cars marketed to older people. We always have, we always will. Ask a young person,full of ambition and promise, trying to get ahead in the world with a crappy job that doesn’t pay much, what car they prefer – as in, what car suits their self-image better; a Hyundai Veloster, or a Hyundai Elantra. One looks like a child’s toy. The other looks like a Mercedes-Benz if you squint just a little. Figure it out. And yes, I’ve done this field test many times before. I know a few people with Elantras, Sonatas and even Rios. Nobody I know has bought a Veloster.”

Agreed. It doesn’t matter how many skateboards you tack to it, how many fist bumps you throw in your dealership, optional stupid colors, or how many types of social media a person can access from the driver’s seat; if the car looks cheap and juvenile, we won’t buy it. If it looks good, resembles something expensive, if it looks adult without being boring, and we think we’re getting a nicer car for a great deal, we’ll buy it. That’s why people buy Mercedes base C230s rather than the nicer, cheaper, faster alternatives from less fashionable marques. When we (TST) get a cheap car that doesn’t feel or look cheap (Like a Cruze, Sonic, Sonata, Azera, etc) we will repeatedly comment on what you get for the money, but the first comment is always a pleasantly surprised, “Pretty good looking car, huh?!.”

Make good looking cars we can afford, not a rolling office that throws social media, Bluetooth, maps, and apps at us like a salad shooter. The internet does that for a lot less, and we can take it to bed with us.

Looks, goes, no twitter.

Source: NY Times, Truth About Cars

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(Screen Shot; video below)

by Zack Klapman

The TV way to make a build show is shoot 6 details, add 21 minutes of back-story, drama, trips to a shooting range to “let off steam”, someone saying “Wow, this paint is so cool.” and then reveal the finished product. Or you can shoot a time-lapse, but that usually only gives you one angle, and it’s recommended you take Adderall if you want to try to learn any details. This video is more like the Cliffs Notes of a build. It shows the rebuild of a Mitsubishi Evo X to a Group N rally car in a detailed, high-quality, 14-minute video. It moves like a music video, without leaving out information. Make the minute, finger-tip’s reach to the mouse that requires 1/10th the effort of turning a page of paper jump to watch.

PR:

“a backstage film about Romanian motorsport, a documentary featuring the rebuild of a Group N Rally car and probably a first in terms of level of detail and quality.

the project began in early November 2011, when dismantling started, and regularly documented the process until the end of December 2011 when the car was ready for tests in Gheorgheni; the ending of the film dates from March 2012 when E. Keleti’s Evo X Mishubishi received its sponsor stickers for a new season with the BCR Leasing – Colina Motors team.

basically the documentary captures up to the smallest detail pretty much all the effort the Colina Motorsports team put in to rebuild the car.

In numbers:
over 20,000 images (for the time lapse) – shot with Drift HD170 Stealth.
dozens of hours of shooting and editing;
filmed with Canon 5D2 and 60D;
technical car data is in the movie – press pause to read them

Image: Alex Serban, Cosmin Serban, Andreea Nedelea
Editing: Alex Serban, Cosmin Serban
Music: Yacht – Creative Commons”

Source: Alex Serban Film

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by Zack Klapman

Normally, engine removal is a slow, delicate process. Up .1″, stop! Back .5″, stop! Repeat. I have taken an engine out once. Unsurprisingly, I used a Cherry Picker. Surprisingly, the weight limit for it was 700lbs, and my 1967 Pontiac 400 weighed about 698lbs. A gentle swing would cause the rear wheels of the picker to lift off the ground. At the time, I thought that was interesting, so I did it more than once. I was 17, and clearly, very stupid.

This is nothing like that. This is engine removal for the sake of boredom, with a car that matters less than the educational system you left at age 12. It went like this: Put car near tree. Attach chain to tree. Attach chain to engine. Start car. Select reverse. Hope chain doesn’t snap, fly through the windshield and kill you. WOT throttle, in reverse, see what happens. Jump to see what happens.

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by Zack Klapman

If you drive a loud car, be respectful to your neighbors. And if you’re a neighbor, don’t leave fingerprints or DNA on your threatening note.

I love loud cars. You can put that statement next to other highlights of obviousness, like “Humans prefer oxygen.” I don’t like obnoxiously loud cars, unless they have good reason to be, like because race car. I do like a fair bit of noise, and depending on the car, blowing out eardrums is an acceptable side-effect of audible greatness. Some people might keep ear-plugs in a car with side-pipes, protecting their hearing for the later years. I, like John Candy being offered a side salad, refuse these aids of hearing. Sound connects us to driving, to the car, in a way that nothing can replicate. The sound of a car is proportionately as powerful as an ant. Meaning, it may only connect to 1 of our senses but it gives us much more.

But. If you have a loud car, and you live near people, and you don’t actively hate all of them, be respectful of the noise  at night. I’m not 80 years old, I’m not a prude, or a “punk bitch.” As soon as you’re out of your immediate neighborhood, do whatever you want. That’s what I do.

But the note above was not meant for a person like me, with moderate respect for his neighborhood. It’s for a jackass. It reads:

“Please have some respect for your fellow neighbors, by ceasing reving [sic] the engine of your vehicle at all hours of the night. Although it may seem cool, at 11:38pm it is not, and certainly is not the way to start an amicable relationship with your new neighbors..“

The author has probably been listening to this dick for weeks. Tuning his car in his driveway, driving around in 1st gear just to hear the sound, testing parts at midnight, that sort of thing. Unless the next day is race day, all are unacceptable after a certain hour. I’d be annoyed to.

Clearly fed up, they wrote the note above. It’s not too angry, has some good points about respecting new neighbors, being respectful, etc. Reading it, I picture the author as a 32 year old dad. The sound probably bugged him a little in the beginning, but he didn’t want to be “that guy” on the block. 3 months and 5.5 hours of sleep a night, coupled with bills, kids and a Lipitor prescription, he’s done. The rage of a family man is not something to trifle with. Even though I giggle when I set off a car alarm just by the reverberation of side pipes, I agreed with this very logical note.

And then they threatened the car, with the subtlety of a Grizzly standing on it’s legs, roaring, while staring right into your soul.

“Others may not be so nice in the future, by leaving just a note, as I did… Retaliation seems to be par for the course these days and slashed tires can be an effective means to an end…..

Please/thank you and safe driving (peace sign).”

We have all been watching too many movies. Actually, considering what you can show on AMC, we’ve just been watching too much TV. You can’t just threaten people! This isn’t the wild west. And it’s in writing you ******* idiot. And by doing so- without giving Mr RPM a chance to remedy his behavior-you become a much bigger douche than he. What is this, the Sopranos? “Pardon me. Would you mind practicing your electric guitar before 8pm? Ya see, my daughtah has to leave fuh school early each mornin’, and if she doesn’t sleep she can be a real pain in my ass. Help me out, ya know? I mean, I unduhstand it’s your house and you can do as you please, but it would benefit both you and that lovely dog you have, if you played in the aftahnoon. The vets around here are very expensive.”

Hasn’t this person seen CSI? (Any of the 9 variations will do.) Judging by spelling and handwriting, I’m betting they didn’t wear surgical gloves and clean the paper with alcohol before putting it up. So tracing the slasher would take about 3 seconds. More importantly, making violent threats shows an equal lack of respect and maturity to the moron with the muffler inadequacy. So, Person A: Don’t be the douche bag with the loud car no one likes. Be the cool guy with the loud car people come to to borrow tools from, with the car that kids drag their recently divorced moms run and watch from the window. Be an adult. Person B:  Don’t make internet-like threats on hand-written paper that’s covered in finger prints  out in the real world. That’s what YouTube is for. Stop holding back the evolution of our species, or at least post your vasectomy doctor’s card next to every note you post.

(peace sign)

Source: Reddit

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by Zack Klapman

Here’s something I want to buy: the BMW M135i Concept. 3 doors? 300ish HP? Rumors of AWD? Yesh. It’s like a better, more expensive yet-so-worth-it Golf R, on one of my favorite platforms. The proportions look better than the old M Coupe, which looked just a bit too much “twig and berries.” I think the concept from Geneva looked good, and seeing it rip around the ‘Ring means-in theory-it will be nearly as fun as the 1M. I bet the 1M was bought almost exclusively by people who really like cars, knew what it was, knew what it could do on the road, and didn’t give a shit if their friends asked why they didn’t opt for a 3 or 5-series instead. This takes that to the next level. A RWD or (maybe) AWD hatch from BMW is the ultimate car for the car nerd that like to go fast, but might need to carry some stuff occasionally. Jump for more and to see CAR‘s footage.

Seats down, it probably has real space in the back. A crazy person might put a dog in the back, strap it in to its custom-made track-harness that I’ve already drawn up, to scale and just need investors for and head home, clipping apexes. If they make an Xi, then it’s an A3, except better at driving in every way, other than back seat access. Unimportant. Want it anyway. The thing that always tarnished hatchbacks for me is most of them were FWD. It’s a car’s glass ceiling; no, I’m sorry, FWD can’t be President. But, as BMW says below, a RWD hatch with a good engine is just what us doctors would order:

“featuring M Performance Twin Power Turbo technology with a power output of more than 300 hp creates the ideal prerequisites for maximum dynamics in the premium compact segment”

True. The engine in the 135i/1M is great. I love it. Torque starts low, power all the way, pulls way harder (in the 1M at least) than you would expect. So not only would this car be unique as a RWD hatch, it would be a really really good RWD hatch.

BMW says the M135i Concept might mean expanding the 1-series line. I’ll be annoyed if they create a model for every.single.market.niche. but the hatch is a great start and it stands on its own. More importantly, BMW says its clear people want an expansion of the new (1-series) M Performance cars. Basically, we all like small and fast, they noticed, BMW will make more small and fast.

The Ferrari FF proved you can make a bad-ass hatch, but the cost hucks it off the top of my list of dream cars to splat at the bottom. Can’t justify that much money for a car that doesn’t make me all heart-a-flutter-pants-a-tighten. But this? It will be priced within reason, and it will be worth it. (And it probably won’t come here.)

Here’s how we felt about the 1M.

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Source: CAR Magazine

by Zack Klapman

It’s episode 13 of The Smoking Tire’s Podcast. Tonight our guest was a man who is truly winning in the game of life: Andrew Comrie-Picard, commonly known as “ACP”. He’s a factory-sponsored rally driver, a writer for Top Gear America, a stuntman, owns about 7 cars, and he front-flipped a car on national TV during the X-Games. Naturally, we talked about rally racing, stunt driving, and what he owns With tangents. Enjoy.

RSS: http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/The-Smoking-Tire.xml

MP3:  http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/Smoking%20Podcast%20013.mp3

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by Zack Klapman

“I never went through the Nürburgring feeling that I’d achieved something in the way of the perfect lap.”

-Jackie Stewart

That should tell you something about the famous Nordschleife Nürburgring. The track is synonymous with records, crashes and the insane fans attending it’s 24-Hour race.  Every year it gets more well-known, and more manufacturers rent space track-side, using it as their primary tool to hone performance; a tarmac dick-measuring tool for the population that cares. And Jackie m-fing Stewart, 3-time F-1 World Driver’s Champion, couldn’t ever get it right.

For me, the exposure of this track through internet video has made the ‘Ring simultaneously more real and less intimidating. I recently read a Rolling Stone article about Mexican drug lords, complete with full-color pictures of headless victims. Disturbing, but not as much as if I hadn’t grown up playing Gears of War and watching movies like Saw. The influx of ‘Ring videos has had a similar effect, making me think it’s a manageable track for relatively un-trained humans like myself. Jackie‘s quote, and the rest of his video-where he tours the ‘Ring in a Rolls Royce convertible-have brought me back to Earth. The same way 1000HP seems common, maybe even pedestrian, the Nurburgring has become so available and commonly seen it seems normal. As Jackie explains after the jump, it isn’t. I’m glad he reminded me of that.

Source: YouTube

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If, after seeing this picture of a Subaru, you’re thinking, “They are both lesbians,” you’d be wrong. Close, but wrong. If you’re thinking “they have thousands of adoring teenage fans,” you’d be right, except JB gets all the girls and I get the boys. You see the thing that we have in common is actually quite, er, common: as teenagers, we had very poor taste in how to properly modify a car. When I was 17, my daily driver was a black 1998 Subaru Legacy 2.5GT sedan, identical to the one shown above. And what I chose to do to it would truly mortify you. Bear in mind that before about 2002, when the WRX debuted in the US, performance parts for Subaru’s were virtually nonexistent.

I added silver racing stripes, nose to tail. I added a high performance exhaust   cheesy chrome muffler with “DTM” style tips, purchased at AutoZone, where I also bought the “Cone” intake. I changed the shifter knob to a Hurst “T-handle” style but left the mechanism stock. And I put in a huge subwoofer box. But the best part was when I decided my Subaru needed “Phantom lights,” also known by the brand name “Street Glow.” I can safely say that I may have owned the world’s worst-tuned Subaru.

What does that have to do with Justin Bieber, you may ask? Hit the jump to check out the Biebs’ new whip.

Clearly, money can’t buy taste. That’s Justin Bieber’s new Fisker Karma, with chrome paint and Street Glow neon lights. See that license plate frame? I’m pretty sure I’ve been there before. Big surprise.

The sad part is that the Fisker, not unlike 50 Cent’s Lamborghini Murcielago, looks very cool with a chrome paint job and black wheels. But those lights just remind you that, yes, a sixteen year old kid did write the check for this car. He also wrote the check for this car, built at the same place. Do you think the folks at West Coast Customs even mentioned that adding a bunch of lights to a (primarily) electric car with spotty-at-best battery issues might be a bad idea? In California, by the way, it’s also illegal to have any blue lights forward of your dashboard, which means the ill-fitting bit of LED lighting  under the front bumper is going to have to go.

If the now 30 year old version of me could go back and punch myself in the face for what I did to my Subaru, I would. Fortunately, the fact that I sold it for a 1994 Mustang GT and immediately dropped a 347 stroker motor into it, along with suspension, brakes, and a ton of go-fast parts, redeems me a little bit. If Justin Bieber is ever getting out of this West Coast Customs hole, he’d better start buying up Tatra’s and Delehaye’s like there’s no tomorrow.

(Update: TST Reader Sasha Perry points out that the car was a gift to Justin for his 18th birthday. Nevertheless, those lights have an on/off switch and he’s elected to turn them on)

Photos: [TMZ]

by Zack Klapman

These are the faces of Valentino Rossi’s MotoGP team during his battle with Jorge Lorenzo at the 2009 Catalunya race. It is the correct reaction for the battle they just watched in the final 3 laps of the MotoGP Catalunya. Each rider seemed to shut the door on the other, yet passes were found where none thought possible. It. Was. Amazing. Those final moments have been called: “greatest”, “historic”, “genius”, and “impossible.” All those words fit. Jump to watch one of the greatest racing battles, ever.

I think MotoGP is the craziest and most impressive form of racing in the world, second in difficulty only to WRC (due to changing surface conditions and poorly placed trees). Not only do you have to know all the theory of racing-lines, position, braking distances, track theory- but the bike’s performance depends on the physics of your own body. Cars require deft steering input and pedal control, but on a bike, moving your ass half an inch changes the stability and ability of the bike, and to me, that is just incredible.

So when riders take risks beyond what’s considered “normal”- the same as “crazier cage-less great white diving than normal”- it elevates the level of respect and awe to a new height. Lorenzo passes Rossi, Rossi passes Lorenzo, in a triple-digit dance that keeps you on the edge of your seat, expecting someone to back down or low-side. The two riders are teammates on Fiat/Yamaha, so their bikes were almost identical, leaving it all up to their abilities and their balls, balancing on a thin strip of rubber.

Some called Rossi’s actions unnecessary or desperate, but I call them courageous, gutsy, competitively reckless, animal in their extremity. From a career standpoint, Lorenzo (with the Championship lead) didn’t need to pass Rossi – running the risk of crashing – and neither did Rossi. But they did and I applaud that. People that sign up to race motorcycles at this level are a bit reckless, but it’s controlled and focused, like the Human Torch controlling his flame to fly. Like a base-jumper, a land-speed record-breaker, or down-home nut-job Travis Pastrana, the adrenaline is fun for them, it’s probably why they started racing and it’s what they live for.

If only F1 had this kind of passing.

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For those who haven’t yet subscribed, Matt writes many reviews for Road Lanes, an online magazine chock full of new car reviews. In this month’s issue, Matt pretty much takes over, writing reviews on the new 580-horsepower Chevrolet Camaro ZL-1 as tested at Virginia International Raceway, the Porsche Panamera Turbo S (which you will also see  video on The Smoking Tire coming soon), the Cadillac CTS-V Wagon, and three Fords that have been updated for 2013, including the Flex, Taurus SHO, and Mustang GT.

You can subscribe to Road Lanes here, and it will be delivered to your inbox every month. If you like Matt’s writing, you’ll get a shitload of it here. Leave your comments about the cars reviewed as well (since Road Lanes doesn’t have comments).

**Side note – I have gotten several emails from people who have subscribed to Road Lanes, but are not receiving issues. If that’s the case, please leave a comment here and I’ll make sure that the editors over there know about it.

by Zack Klapman

The largest balls on the East coast were recently spotted in Methuen, Ma., stuffed inside a Porsche that was spinning in a police parking lot. Sometime before 2:00AM, a Porsche 911 (along with a ’99 Mercedes and a Land Rover) was stolen from a repair shop. The thief then drove to a police station, pulled into the parking lot, and did donuts. Stupid, but I admit, I want to do that. But as you’ll read, this guy is on another level of impulsive stupidity. I’m thinking when he was in the womb, his balls got the blood that was supposed to go to his brain, creating a legendarily brave idiot. 

So, at 2:00AM, he held the only fun kind of spin class (I don’t care how many girls are there, riding a bike in place while someone with a headset yells at you to “Pump it up!”, is stupid.) And, he got away. Sweet! Pack it in, ditch the car, cheers with friends and you’re a legend forever.

But he didn’t. Somehow he wasn’t happy with those donuts. Maybe he unwound the steering too early, or didn’t lay enough rubber to be seen from space. Or maybe he has a big grudge with the police station, and thought this would really show them who’s boss (again, small brain). We’ve all been there.

So at 4:30 he want back to the police station, the same one, and did it again. Good idea, right? And this time, just like every heist movie character going out for one last score, it all went wrong. There was a cop car nearby and the Loony Toons chase was on. Unsurprisingly the cop couldn’t keep up, and lost visual contact as the car entered Lawrence, Ma.

No worries, a short bit later the Lawrence police called, to say that someone had rolled a Porsche in an intersection. The Eagle Tribune redundantly said “…the Porsche, which sustained heavy damage in the crash…” It did?! Whoa! When they said “a Porsche 911 had flipped over” I thought it might have done a back-flip and landed on it’s wheels, like in Torque. The guy ran away on foot, but cops were at the shop in the morning, and, judging by the thief’s intelligence level, they’ve probably found fingerprints, DNA and a Polaroid of the thief smiling in front of the Porsche, giving himself bunny ears.

So to recap: guys break into repair shop and steal cars, lunk-head of the group taunts police, police chase him, he escapes, then crashes, runs away, cops find location of crime.

I’m betting the rest of this story goes something like this: “The other two men had taken the cars to a chop-shop, and likely would have disappeared forever. But thanks to the Porsche driver, they’ve all been apprehended, breaking up an auto theft ring. They are now all housed in the same prison, where the Porsche driver was pummeled by his friends and left to fend for himself. He was reportedly taken in by a new gang, called “The Saints of Forcible Butt Play. Insurance has provided the Porsche owner with a brand-new 991.”

A 1-hour documentary on auto theft: Cops, cars and criminals.

Source: Eagle Tribune

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by Zack K

This man races Rally Cross without the use of his feet. His name is Mats Öhman, and he is paralyzed below his mid/lower back. He drives a 550 horsepower rally cross car, and he drives it well. Feet secured, he steers with his left hand, and his right hand controls the gas, brakes and transmission. Driving a 550HP car at race speeds would give plenty of people too much to think about; ask your local driving instructor of the fear involved in teaching Johnny NewZR1 to drive. Now imagine controlling all those intricacies- properly-timed downshifts, late-braking and over-steer- with just one arm. Wiggle your elbow to up-shift, mediate throttle with your hand and shoulder. Amazing. There’s also the terrifying thought that if Mats crashes, he is at a serious disadvantage when it comes to escaping the car. Watch this video of a race car fire, and the speedy escape, and Mats balls (already bigger than yours or mine) grow by a factor of 2. (Jump for the video)

The video is, of course, inspiring. I crashed a motorcycle in 2005 and broke my back. My only question was, “Am I paralyzed.” It was a really scary moment, but the answer was “no.” After that, all the injuries-and there were lots-were no big deal. I later said if I couldn’t drive, I would kill myself. But guys like Mats, or the paraplegic standing mile driver at Mojave, show us that driving doesn’t end until you want it to, or you’re dead. If I, or any of you, are unfortunate enough to be in a situation like this, just watch this video, get some friends, and start wrenching.

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by Zack K

“Consider this a reminder: There is nothing wrong with seeking perfection – just don’t wait for it.”

This should sum-up Bill Caswell‘s motivation, inspiration, and attitude toward his recent life as a gypsy rally racer. Many of us say “one day”, or “I will as soon as X happens” but he has a strong point: if you wait for everything to be just right before you do something, you might never do it. If you want to race cars, don’t wait till you can buy a GT3 RS, find a way to do it now.  It sums up this fascinating interview he did with Gear Box Magazine.It has more to do with his motivations, old career and the financial market than it does about his BMW (although he clears up some haterade on that too) and for that reason, it’s probably a look at Bill you haven’t gotten before.

Most people know him for the headline “$500 rally car,” and then made judgements-good or bad- from there. But you haven’t judged him fairly unless you’ve talked to him. After finding out the hows and whys of what he’s been up to, I almost see him as a prophet. Besides, Moses wasted all that good desert by walking. I got to hang out with him for a bit when he did our podcast, and he is just a rad ****Ing (<-for those of you who hate curse words) dude. His energy and “we’ll make it work” outlook , charging into the darkness of Mexico or Nevada, is pretty incredible.

His stories are incredible, and after reading this interview, I see him as more than a partying racer with the energy of a meth chemist’s ferret; he is a true adventure-seeker. Someone who wasn’t happy where he was, saw his eventual future (family, responsibility) and decided to live a dream, by any means necessary. Hanging out in my kitchen, I saw how happy and amazed he was by how it had worked out, where he’d been, who he’d met. Read the interview and you will see a side of Caswell that inspires.

“It wasn’t about winning, getting noticed, or trying to take things to the next level.  It was about having fun with my car friends before all this comes to and end.  I wouldn’t trade any of the adventures for anything, not even a ride in a proper WRC car.  Those times with my friends are the key to this whole thing – they cant be bought, fabricated, or borrowed.“

Source: Gearbox Magazine

by Zack K

This will sound like I’m kissing a part-time employer’s  ass, but the DRIVE Network has really surprised me with the volume of seriously interesting – yet diverse- content. All the shows touch on parts of the automotive world I find seriously interesting that were previously under-represented on video or television. The videos hit all the enthusiast’s buttons: racing coverage, driver interviews, techniques, new cars, old cars, weirdness, comedy, new cars and crazy stuff. Chris Harris has been doing a good job of showing us the freshy fresh sports cars. Every week he does something we’d kill for, and brings us along to watch.

This week was particularly good; he drove th Janssen Rally Team’s old Porsche 911 rally car around a test track. The track is tight, the car is tail-happy and high-strung, and the result is Chris “doing what I’d do if I won the lottery.” Sliding a 2,000lb, 350HP, wag-happy Porsche around. It would be worth every penny. Jump to watch.

To prove I wasn’t kissing EP ass: J.F., you *** * *i** *o*** ***. How ya like me now!?

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Answer key: are a fine young man.

by Zack K

Here’s some completely expected news: Jaguar announced they’re going to build the F-Type,the production car based on the CX-16 concept. Shocking. Whodathunkit. This did not need announcing. The CX-16 concept was so pretty I felt like Betty Draper discovering the joys of reading on top of an active clothes dryer. It was a stunning concept, journalists and public alike went nuts, so they built it. Pretty simple formula, really.

Jaguar is going to price it between an entry-level Cayman and the XK, about $70k. I can’t think of a better-looking car for that kind of money. I even think it’s better looking than the Vantage; it’s gorgeous, but that design has been around a while. Jaguar said it will be a proper sports car, built in the vein of the XKR-S. If that’s true, I will not understand anyone that buys a Cayman instead, unless they are in the canyons or at a driving event often. (Although, if everyone buys this, it won’t be special…I hear there’s a sale on Caymans.) This is better looking, will have plenty of power (many engines to be offered, no I don’t know the specs), and will hopefully be as tail-happy as the other Jags I’ve driven.

It doesn’t look like the F-Type is quite as bold and curvacious as the CX-16; I’ll blame that on the DOT and pedestrian femur fragility. A surprise was it will debut in Mid 2013 as a roadster. A coupe will follow, “If the roadster does well.”-Ian Callum. So there will be a coupe coming. At first this bugged me, because I’m not a convertible/roadster aficionado. I think hardtops just look better, and the design is more important to me than all that open air, wind on the face, sunny skies stuff. (Although it’s hard to argue with the aural experience you get with no roof.)

But because Jaguar is designing it as a roadster first, I have faith in how the soft-top will look. Same thing with the 370Z convertible; they designed the car knowing there would be a roadster, and thus made the hips and lines work whether there was a roof or not. The 350Z is an example of doing it wrong; looked like someone Sawzalled the roof off, leaving a boring, flat belt-line. Ian Callum backed that idea up, “If you get a convertible right, it’s easy to do a coupe.” Adding a roof to a curvaceous roadster is easier-and usually has a better result- than removing a roof without sacrificing character (Exception: AC Cobra).

But enough nit-picking. I stare in longing at Jaguar’s current cars, and they have an attitude on the road like an AMG car, just 3% softer. Me=fan. Because of that, I have faith in the future of the F-Type. If you build it (coupe), I will come (dealership)… and I will need financing.

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The Smoking Tire and AutoAnything are proud to announce a floor mat contest: weíre giving away a free set of car mats! To enter the contest, fill out the form below with your name, email address, and the floor mat you’d like. AutoAnything will not be using your contact information for promotional services, and your contact information will not be sold to third parties or advertisers. The contest runs from April 4, 2012 through May 4, 2012 and is open to U.S. residents only.

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As the internet leader in aftermarket auto accessories and parts, AutoAnything offers the best in automotive modifications and accessories. Whether you’re looking for an off-road set-up or need to improve your gas mileage, AutoAnything has you covered. You can learn more about AutoAnything and their products on their blog at RidePros.com.

Disclaimer: No purchase necessary. Limit one entry per household. Void where prohibited or restricted by law. All fields above must be completely filled out to enter the giveaway. Submissions will be accepted until 12am EST on May 4, 2012. Winners will be chosen at random from all eligible submissions on May 5, 2012 and notified via email and announced on this page. Winner must reply to the email within 7 days of the end of the contest otherwise the prize is forfeited and a second winner is chosen. Prizes: One (1) of the following floor mats – Husky WeatherBeater Floor Liners, WeatherTech Floor Mats, WeatherTech Extreme-Duty DigitalFit Floor Liners, Lloyd Mats RubberTite Rubber Floor Mats for any applicable vehicle. By participating in the giveaway you agree to release thesmokingtire.com and AutoAnything.com from any and all losses, damages, rights, claims, and actions of any kind in connection with the giveaway, including from the use of any prize. thesmokingtire.com makes no representations or warranties, expressed or implied, about this giveaway or any prizes awarded. Any or all entries can be disqualified at the sole discretion of thesmokingtire.com due to any attempts to manipulate the giveaway.

by Zack K

Chevy released the pics and stats of what the new Impala will be. (To answer your inevitable question; I have no idea if there will be an SS version.) So far, it seems right for its market.

The body is a good step forward for Chevy. The front end has a hint of the Camaro, some Accord, and a dash of Camry, but it has a better presence than those last two. The back shoulder follows the trend of the LaCrosse and Azera, adding that fender crease they hope people love.

From the rear it’s part VW CC, part Hyundai, part everysedanwithslantedandtaperedtaillights you see today. Nothing wrong with that. Usually when someone says, “You know who you look like?” their follow-up offends you and shatters your self-image. In this case, it’s a compliment, and should give the Impala some swagger back.

The interior has a nice combo of fake suede and leather, with a little dash over-hang similar to what we saw (and liked) in the Azera. I’m particularly interested in testing it’s active noise-cancelling system; using the car’s audio system to mute the engine noise. That feature has actually been available for decades, but was previously marketed as “music.” The dials and layout are a bit simple, but since this car will be priced in the high 20′s, with 3 engine options (3.5 V-6, 2.5 4-cyl. or 2.4 4-cyl. with eAssist) it has the potential to be lots of good car at a good price. I maintain people in this market just want a good car, with lots of stuff, that gets them from A to B without looking like a school bus. Chevy finally has a viable option. Good.

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by Zack K

Here’s something useless to buy; a Ford F-650 SEMA truck. Did I mention it has Lambo doors?

It won Best of Show in 2006. I guess that’s ok, since it’s a contest for the Best Show vehicle, because clearly this is as drivable as the space shuttle. Gas shocks and ground clearance don’t mean much when your tires have less tread than a golf kart and it’s as heavy and long as the director’s cut of Schindler’s List. A baller might buy a Sport Chassis to tow a race trailer, but when the truck is taller and longer than the trailer itself, the “douche factor” eclipses the “ballerness.”

It was built for Deberti Designs by Alton Truck Manufacturing, at a cost of $400k. For that money it got an Allison transmission, a motor from CAT, 6 semi-truck bucket seats that float, with (of course) TV screens on the headrests. To be fair, that was the decade of TVs on everything. “Check out the TV on my frame rail!”.

Now some poor DuPont salesman is slowly starving to death while trying to sell it for $190,000. If the stereotype of big trucks is true, Chaz Bono could have skipped all the surgery and just bought this. It’s like the lab The Hulk was created in; close the door and BAM, Tommy Lee statues acquired. While I appreciate heavy-duty machines and mega engineering, it’s so long and heavy the only use I can think of is transporting your personal ICBM missile…

So, look for it to pop up in spy satellite pictures of North Korea soon.

Source: DuPont

It’s Episode 12 of The Smoking Tire Podcast. We have two guests on this one: Alex Roy and comedian Micah ‘Bam Bamm’ White. Alex Roy is Gumball veteran, driving multiple rallies in his Team Polizei M5. He holds the record for fastest drive across the USA, which he documented in a great book, “The Driver.” He’s a long-distance rally driver of the highest degree, and now hosts “Live and Let Drive” on YouTube’s DRIVE network. He talks about speeding, Morgans, too many movies and  has some of the best cop stories you’ve ever heard.

But wait, there’s more. Micah “Bam Bam” White. He’s been killing it on the road, back from Hawaii and currently performing in NYC.  He continues to learn about cars through Zack’s laptop, and tells us a great story about a special Ford promotion that only he knew about.

iTunes:  http://www.itunes.com/podcast?id=496797178

RSS: http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/The-Smoking-Tire.xml

MP3:  http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/Smoking%20Podcast%20012.mp3

It’s the final show for Season 1 of “Tuned” on YouTube’s Drive network. (Don’t worry, we’ll be back in July.) Over the season the channel was flooded with questions and comments, good and bad. So, for this episode, Matt decided to sit down and address the most common, or notable, from each episode. So grab a beer and hit ‘play’, or if you aren’t old enough, three 5 Hour Energy drinks. Actually don’t do that. (please please please don’t do that, you’ll die and sue us). Enjoy, and we’ll see you in July.

It’s The Ultimate BMW Road Trip Part 2: BMW 650i vs Boston Whaler. For years Matt has wondered what the fastest way from Spring Island to Hilton Head Island was; by car or by boat? Time to find out. Matt is taking the new BMW 650i convertible, and has to watch for the strictest cops we’ve ever met. Zack is in the boat, and has to dress like an idiot. They race to find out which is faster: by land or by sea. Jump to watch.

Bullrun is hiring! For all of you guys (and gals) out there who have wanted to be a part of Bullrun, yet don’t have the $20,000 per car to spend on the rally, here’s your chance to get involved, get on the rally, and MAKE MONEY in the process. If you’re a Los Angeles resident, and are interested in working with Bullrun on the 2012-and-beyond rallies, you should email them, because they are hiring. The only requirements:

- Los Angeles Resident

- Self Motivating

- Computer Literate

- Bullrun Fanatic!

Everything else can be worked out. There is money involved, and whoever gets the job will be going on the Bullrun Rally this year, hanging out with guys like Matt (and probably some skanks too).

Email Info@bullrun.com for more details.

In an effort to remain as interactive as possible, Matt and Rob Ferretti from Super Speeders will be hosting a live YouTube chat tomorrow night (Tuesday 4/3/12) at 9 PM EST. We will be telling behind-the-scenes stories about Super Speeders, the truth about exotic car ownership, the secrets to competing in Bullrun successfully, and answering your questions in real time. Also, TST Podcast regular Micah “BamBam” White will be hanging out as well, as the token black dude.

To chat with us live via YouTube’s new, cool setup, visit this link on Tuesday, April 3rd at 9PM EST. We’ll be there.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ah155LG9ZE

by Zack K

I hate this man. This is Bill Shao. He is the proud man at the helm of the Los Angeles traffic system (ATSAC). The system that is supposed to be special, because traffic is better now than it was in 1922. Well, thanks to Vicodin, gunshots hurt less too, so everything is fine, right? No. It’s not. The system is old, traffic is horrible and we’re losing time, money and air because of it. I’ve spent so much time screaming in my car that it drove me to do research, and read government publications, with statistics. I do not like doing these things. Yet traffic causes enough hatred in me to basically create my own research paper. I hate you Bill, and I’m going to tell a bunch of people why. And you know what? You’ll probably never hear about it.

This is a photo of traffic in Los Angeles from the 1920s. I found it in an article about LA traffic control that was posted on The Atlantic Cities.com, who took it from someone else. It’s to make you feel better about the congestion in Los Angeles, one of those, “We had to walk to school in the snow” sob stories adults throw at children when their whining about PSP game-play gets too loud. The article goes on to explain the various traffic systems, computers, cameras, sensors, and flow charts, presented like a robotic conductor, squeezing the very best out of our concrete orchestra.

Horsepucky I respectfully disagree. Traffic here is terrible (other cities have it worse). Average travel time is just under an hour, and that’s probably only for people traveling from their front door to the street.

But before I yell via fingers, here’s a little background on LA’s traffic system: It’s called the ATSAC (Automated Traffic Surveillance And Control). It was originally developed to handle the increase in traffic expected from the upcoming 1984 Olympic Games. The system performed well, so they expanded it. Now, 4,400 traffic signals, 17,000 sensors and several hundred cameras monitor the flow of traffic around Los Angeles, allegedly reacting to real-time statistics and adapting the timing of lights to optimize road conditions.

Now, I’m sure it’s hard to monitor the data and control all the signals; like conducting an orchestra of toddlers that found Charlie Sheen’s sugar jar, but, every day I have reason to chuck a brick at (what seem to be) randomly and stupidly timed traffic lights. For years, on my commute home, I screamed at the red bulb that stopped traffic, while an empty street got a green. Lights stopping the only moving cars in sight? Why?! My rage used to evaporate into the air like  countless gallons of gas burned up while idling, but now I have names and figures to load into the curse-riddled magazine that is my brain.

If you go to the article, you will see a video tour of ATSAC (which I couldn’t embed). In the video Bill points at lots of  screens, numbers, tickers, and green things. He shows us the average stopped time at a specific intersection, and how the buses get right of way, making you think LA is advanced regarding public transport. One of his proudest points is that LA has the only publicly-owned traffic system. He says it adapts with growth, and is being pitched to other big cities. And all these things make me mad. Here’s a break-down of why (might want to grab a snack).

The original article on the ATSAC, cited by the Atlantic, was written by Jon Bruner for Forbes. It made sure to kiss the ass of and spin for the best mention many good-sounding facts about the system. Example: ” ..the intersection of Sepulveda Boulevard and Venice Boulevard routinely sees 79,000 cars per day, more than many expressways – but it’s rarely gridlocked.”

Let’s read between the lines: freedictionary.com defines gridlock as, “A traffic jam in which no vehicular movement is possible, especially one caused by the blockage of key intersections within a grid of streets.” Ok, but the difference of traffic moving at a normal pace and gridlock is Jack Nicholson versus the “actors” in the FreeCreditReport.com band. “Rarely gridlocked” is true. I’ve spent lots of time on Sepulveda, and it’s never at an absolute stand-still; It is however, usually moving about 1MPH, for several hours. But hey, maybe I’m just a “glass half-empty” kind of guy.

Then there’s the sheer age of the study they cite, it’s ludicrous:

“ATSAC’s success is well documented. A study of the system’s performance, published in a 1991 issue of IEEE Transactions on Vehicular Technology, found that ATSAC reduced stops by 35 percent, intersection delays by 20 percent, travel time by 13 percent, fuel consumption by more than 12 percent, and carbon emissions by 10 percent. The cost-benefit ratio was nearly 10 to 1, and the system paid for itself within a single year, according to the report.”

Really? You’re citing data that’s 21 years old? While you’re at it, use that approach to defend the Catholic Church, “Clearly the modern Catholic Church operates with the highest morals, this study from 22 A.D.,  printed on a lamb’s ear, shows that a man named Jesus used to heal and feed the sick and poor.” Funny, because according to a TTI (Texas Transportation Institute) study, conducted in 2010 for the DOT, congestion and travel time has increased every year since 2004, with the only exception being in ’08, which they said was only due to higher gas prices. I couldn’t find the number of total cars registered in LA in 1991, but the population was 8.9M (1991). In 2010 it was 10.4M. In 1998 there were 6.1M vehicles (cars, trucks, motorcycles) registered in LA county. In 2008 that had risen  to 7.5M. So let’s say there was about 5M cars in L.A. in 1991, around 8M today; an increased strain on the system of 40%. To use a 21 year-old study as an example of success is ridiculous.

Furthermore, a reduction time of 13% is the traffic equivalent of Mario Battalli trying to impress me with his 3lb weight loss. 13% is something, technically. But if your drive is 60 minutes, the ATSAC reduced it to 52.2. In cities with serious congestion, that trip could (sadly) be as short as a few miles. Way to knock it out of the park, ATSAC. Had the data been current the congestion and fuel consumption issues would be unacceptable. 21 years old? Hefner is naturally harder than this journalism.

Next point of vengeful fury: Bill is proud that LA has one of the first publicly owned traffic systems.

Word, Bill. While other bitch ass cities rely on software from evil, bunny-touching private companies, who constantly develope their product to compete and stay on top, ours is home-grown, so it’s better, right? He says this as if this city is ran entirely by MENSA members. I’m sure someone invented the smoothie in 1914 by accidentally mixing mud, milk, rocks and tobacco. Guess what? We don’t care who invented ATSAC, we just don’t want our smoothie to taste like rocks.

Do you really expect me to be impressed?

I am hardly one to say the private sector does everything better (health care), but look at the general condition of Los Angeles and it’s clear LA doesn’t get much right beyond medical marijuana, food, movies, television, and pretty girls. I would love to see anyone take a crack at fixing LA’s traffic system. Steven Baldwin would probably do a decent job.

Public Transport? Where?

Finally, the video (and to a point, Bill) does an injustice by giving misleading focus to the light rail and bus system. Bill points out how dedicated bus lanes and light changes ensure buses arrive on schedule. Fine idea, I support it, but I hadn’t seen dedicated bus lane until last week, because they are located in a small part of Northern LA, near Sherman Oaks. The video presented these like they’re everywhere; like L.A. is a fluid metropolis of public transport that Germany or Switzerland would envy. It’s not.

L.A. needs a real light-rail system, but the one that’s “been in development” has no hope, given the state’s current financial dysentery. We had one, in the 1930s. But it was dismantled between 1936 and 1950, after GM, Standard Oil, Firestone, and other companies bought all the rail cars. Can’t imagine why they did that. (Gas! Cars! Tires! Money! Mwauahahah!) It’s too bad,  I can’t imagine a city that needs this more. This was a small issue, but I found it irritating that the video used a very localized example to paint L.A. as being up on the game of public transport. Either build a rail system that parallels current commuter routes, or let us drive on the LA river. Not like there’s water in it.

"See what it made me do?!"

Empty REDS and FUEL CONSUMPTION

“Empty REDS” are what I’m calling a red light that stops moving traffic, giving the green to an empty street. This happens to me on two main roads around my house almost every day. Here’s how it works:

I will be approaching the light with a pack of cars. When we’re maybe 300 feet away, it changes to red. Me, and the cars around me come to a stop, and wait, as a group of invisible cars and bicycles cross – NO ONE IS THERE!! IT’S EMPTY! No one is waiting at the light, no one pushed the crosswalk button, no cars are coming! My direction? Cars packed to the gills, waiting like shoppers at one of those bridal sales in NY. The cross-street? Easily viable as a set for a post-apocalyptic movie. Dead. No one. Nothing. &$)#*$)Y*Y$!!

Bill says there’s sensors, cameras, that the system can adapt to conditions. Prove it. I see “empty reds” a lot. On the way home from my old job, on Robertson Ave (a main thoroughfare from Beverly Hills to the I-10 freeway) my fellow motorists and I were stopped nightly at an intersection of small, empty, neighborhood street, I assume because the lights have a timer. (I actually developed a conspiracy theory; the gas station down the street had rigged it so we’d burn up gas and have to stop.)

While that’s kinda nuts, it seems like a fairly simple thing to change the behavior of traffic lights for peak and off-peak traffic. There were no children present, no people at the crosswalk, no cars waiting. AND, these lights (including on Culver and Pershing) always change as the pack arrives there; the absolute worst timing possible. So, light A is red when light B is green, then as you arrive at light B (from A), it turns red. It seems there should be a flow of greens, especially since the flow of cars in these areas stems from two freeways, so predicting the behavior would be simple.

Eco-unfriendly numbers

This isn’t just about me wanting to get places faster or finding a scapegoat whose daughter I can marry, systematically ruining every gathering and holiday from now until death (“Hey pops, you have any fuzzy hand-cuffs? We lost ours. Bam!) This rant actually led to some factual data that supports my ideas for better traffic flow.

As you probably know, coming to a stop and then accelerating back to speed uses a lot of fuel. So, naturally, there’d be a correlation between our poor traffic management and the amount of gas we all waste. Unlike Stephen Colbert, I can’t simply cite my gut as a credible source, so I figured I’d look for numbers created by a smart person. I found a few supporting examples:

The first is  a simple theory posted by a Stanford physics student, on the consumption of fuel as affected by stopping and starting. (If you have 10 minutes and understand basic multiplication, I suggest you read it.)

It uses a Toyota Camry with an arbitrary 2.5L motor. The car drives at 25MPH, stops, idles for 3 seconds, then returns to 25MPH. It applies this to the (roughly) 120 million passenger cars on the road. So, if each car stopped 15 times a day (900 million stops per day), for only 3 seconds, that equals 3.5 million gallons of gas, per day. That’s 1.2 billion gallons per year. And this isn’t taking into account trucks, accidents, (stupid) traffic jams, the fact many of us stop more than 15 times a day, or less-efficient engines. Even as a rough estimate, the effect of “passive” traffic systems is significant. It not only makes me a cranky little bitch, it costs us all money. Sweet.

Second, since CO2 emissions are the new MPG, I also found a very detailed report by a V. Tech Assoc. Professor and a Traffic Engineer. Their clinical test comprised of 301 super kill-yourself-boring clinically strict drives. It found that if you are driving at a constant speed, adding one stop during a 4.5km trip raises your emissions 100 percent.

“In summary, the introduction of a typical vehicle stop can increase a vehicle’s emission rate by up to 100 percent when compared to a constant speed trip with an identical average speed.”

Now, brown is back in fashion, so some might appreciate L.A.’s naturally beautiful smog. But for other people, this could be seen as another reason to develop more “active” traffic systems.

THERE'S NO REASON FOR YOU TO BE RED!!

Maybe I let it all get to me. Maybe I need a massage and some Chamomile tea, but when things around me defy simple logic I just lose it. A more active system would save everyone time and money. It would improve air quality and help the country’s fuel consumption get off of foreign oil. Yee haw!! Writing this prevented me from getting worked into the frenzy that results in me hurling Fiat 500s at stop lights, but I hope someone out there has at least suggested this. Maybe they did, maybe it got shut down for (insert reason here), but I have to believe someone has suggested improving the current system because then at least I know the world isn’t controlled by retards. With all the money manufacturers spent developing stop/start technology, the cities could put a little effort in.

Some of you are probably already outlining your explanation of the complexities of traffic control, how the current roads weren’t designed for the modern number of cars, blah blah blah. I know and agree. The roads in LA were designed decades ago, and the lack of public transport has been the topic of federal cases, conspiracy theories, even explored in the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit?  I can’t put all the blame on Bill or GM, or a bunch of rich dudes in the 1940s. That’s unfair. We bred, expanded, immigrated, grew. The road network itself is out of date. But we can at least make the best of what we have, and to tell me the ATSAC system is doing that is simply incorrect. We’re not that stupid, but maybe they are.

Oh, if you’re visiting L.A., ATSAC says you can use their site to check the traffic status, to plan your route. I can give you a cheat code for that problem; drive between the hours of 10pm and 5am.

Hey kid, you want to skateboard on the freeway? Gimme a sec...

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Bureau of Transportation: TSAR Annual Report

Impact of Stops on Fuel Consumption (PDF)

Picture Source: Transportation Issues Daily

Story Source: The Atlantic Cities.com

Population source: LA Almanac

by Zack Klapman

Saturday. National lazy -AKA “hangover”- day. You don’t want to think, you may have done that all week at work. Your eyes may have difficulty focusing on small words, understanding subtlety, context, sarcasm, or call-backs to previous paragraphs. No worries. We got you. We have 3 short videos that are entertaining and (slightly) educational. There’s vintage Senna footage, some F1 science, and famous drivers acting like children.

TV: books for people who can’t read.

This first video is just fun and silly, the Apirin of the 3, to get you warmed up before things start moving quickly and you have to pay attention. It’s Michel Shumacher and David Coulthard (with a small cameo by Sebastien Vettel) driving a golf kart to look at the Montreal circuit before the race in 2011. We usually only see them doing battle from the turret of their cars, so it’s nice to watch these guys joke around and make fun of each other; to be normal humans.

This video is called “Lap of Life.” If is another brilliant short by Antti Kalhola. Antti made the video “Love for Life” which beautifully captured the essence of why we race, why we drive. This video focused on the late and ever-more-famous Ayrton Senna. It has lots of exciting footage, and almost feels like a short version of the full-length film, SENNA. The message of this short is to learn from everything you do, and always try to improve. “With your mind power, your determination, your instinct, and the experience as well, you can fly very high”- Ayrton Senna

F1 veteran Martin Brundle explains the various forces-heat and G forces being the most extreme- applied to the human body when driving an F1 car. Surrounded by 1000-deg (C) brakes, hot fuel, exhaust and ECU heat takes a heavier toll on the body than people realize. Ignore the Instagram-ish color filter at the beginning.

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by Zack K

Stripteases are nice. They’re meant to tantalize and entice; showing you just a glimpse of what’s to come. This marketing tactic has been used for cars for a while; The new Viper has been flashing people at bus stations, and the Lexus LF-C concept had small pictures “leaked”, keeping us Googling for its debut. I don’t like being teased, but the small tastes leading up to a big auto show can be a cool treat tossed from the masters of manufacturing. But not everyone, or everything, can be a stripper.

This is a symptom of “Social marketing” and it’s starting to bug me. Not because it’s a bad idea, or because I’m 70 years old, but because every technique is used by everyone. Something starts out cool, but eventually it trickles down far enough that “Nana’s Knitting Needles” is hiring someone to run their Twitter campaign.

This is like that. The striptease idea has spread too far, to the 2013 Nissan Altima. The 2013 Nissan Altima can’t be a stripper.

So far they’ve ran 5 teaser videos, showing different pieces of the car (and now the whole car itself, spinning.) to build interest, like Lexus or Dodge.

I’m sorry, but a Nissan Altima peek doesn’t leave me searching daily for new pictures because I never dreamt about it to start with. It might be a great looking car, but the phrase “Altima Teaser” is like “First look: Paul Giamatti wardrobe!” Sweet. Probably going to be some corduroy, glasses, or a sport coat. He’s not going to have a Gatling gun. If  for some reason the Altima is going to have a Gatling gun, just show me all of it right away. An Altima should either come out with a bang (if it’s worthy) or just roll out like normal, and save a little money. It’s not like the last generation Altima had a giant, hungry following that stays up late watching online videos, or hanging posters on their wall.

And, contrary to what some of my friends think, this isn’t because the Altima doesn’t have 1000HP, gravity magnets and a 6-figure price tag. I love modestly priced cars that look and perform well  (CRUZE, Fiesta, Sonata). But I don’t want to see bits of them either; I want to see the whole thing. The LF-C headlight peek got a response, because it looked like art, something new and different, not a headlight. The Altima may be exciting to drive. It might be gorgeous, fast and agile. If it is all those things, I will genuinely like and recommend it.

I liked the Juke, the 370Z, the GTR, so Nissan does good work. But the Altima brand just doesn’t have the street cred to garner excited peeping Toms. A Viper does. A new, breakout GT from Lexus does. Whether it’s the brand, the idea, the specs or a spectacular design, the car has to have something special. Cars that are exciting in 12-point font can pull of the teaser effect: “New Viper will have…” BAM! You got us. We’re waiting to read more, and we will park outside your house with binoculars for months waiting for you to walk by the window with the shade accidentally left up.
But not for an Altima. Not yet, anyway.

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Source: Nissan via YouTube.

It's bad when the hood is at a 90 degree angle from the horizon.

by Zack K

Last weekend was the annual Mint 400, a race through the hot, desolate planet known as Nevada. It’s a gnarly race;  4 laps on a 92-mile course covered in sharp rocks and thick silt. It’s the Baja 1000 but shorter and without cocaine-covered AK47s. It’s been going on so long Steve McQueen ran it; a contributing factor to his resume smelling like lava, and Marilyn Monroe’s desk chair.

This year Robby Gordon won it (click for highlight video with dated electronic music). Props to Robby, who won by only 3 minutes. His highlight reel is cool, but the best video I found is the truck from Big Ugly Racing rolling at 96MPH. Thanks to safety gear and magic, drivers Kevin Sacalas and Bryan Bigsby walked away without serious injury. Amazing, considering they were rolling long enough to write this post. Jump to watch.

Man do I love desert racing. Seeing a buggy or truck rip through sand, V-8s shooting plumes of sand backward as tires bounce and shudder over terrain the changes from fire roads to rocks to buttery soft silt, all taken at the highest speed possible? Hell to the yes. It’s like a volcano that plays Metallica. I just love the insanity of seeing open dirt and going at it flat, jumping and sliding along like a car that careened off the highway with its throttle stuck. All pro racing is balls to the wall, but out there, with that much power and suspension travel, it’s more violent and crazy. Like riding a wave runner into a storm. Me likey. One day…

Source: Big Ugly Racing

Here’s some helicopter shots of Robby whipping toward the finish line.

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by Zack K

Photo from CarScoop.

Thad sent me a link to this great write up from PistonHeads.com- about the Subaru P1- with the caption “I think we would all like to drive this.” 100% correct. No one in the TST house would turn down seat time in this car, least of all Tom or I. To be fair, my list of “Car I’d like to drive” could just have the word, “all” because if it were possible, I would like to drive everything that has ever existed.

But the P1 is special. I instantly remembered the test on Top Gear, with Tiff Needell comparing it to an EVO, R34 GTR and 911 Turbo. It was the first road car touched by Prodrive, and although today many pedestrian cars have similar power and AWD, this car was more than its build sheet. Jump for more info, and a few videos from the past.

Because Piston Heads, Tiff and Vicky do such a good job (seriously, go read it) of explaining the P1′s allure, I’ll give you the short version. It was built on the heels of Subaru’s new success in WRC. Its 2.0L motor made 280HP/260 tq., but it only weighed 2,800lbs. My ’06 STI weighed 3,315 lbs. The thought of similar power and chassis, minus 500lbs and 2 doors almost makes me feel like I did Subaru wrong buying a 4-door (not that the P1 was sold in America) instead of a home-built RSTI. That light weight and Prodrive magic made the P1 perfect on back roads or dirt. Back then a 0-60 time of 4.7 was incredible, as was 280HP; hence the $46,500 price tag. Only 1,000 were made and every one sold.

Today the draw of a rally-ready car has waned. Everything has around 300HP, plenty of cars come with AWD, and engineers have found ways to make even 5,000lb SUVs dance between cones. The powers previously held only by Subarus and Mitsubishis are sold by everyone, from Dodge to VW. That’s part of what makes a car like the P1 so cool. Back then there wasn’t a Golf R, or R32, or A1 Quattro. The traits light, fun and AWD were hard to come by, and while most people that needed an all-weather kid-carrier jumped on the SUV dick-measuring bad-wagon, people like you and me waited (and then bought) the WRX by the boat load.

The P1 is the car that planted that seed in my brain. It was the beginning of long nights spent researching parts, working 2 jobs, saving money, and waiting. I bought my STI because of watching the P1 online. So yes, I would like to drive one.

Tiff in the EVO 6  vs Vicky in the P1

EVO vs P1 vs GTR vs 911 T

Source: PistonHeads.com

by Zack K

There’s a lot of truth to this. This was designed by Reddit-er, TurretOpera. Someone at his company asked if he would put a “Don’t text and drive” sticker on his car to support of a local hospital’s campaign. He thought of a better slogan.

He owns a Corvette, hence the badge. But his message is simple, any proper car is suitable and I agree with his philosophy. When I’m driving a car that’s engaging, one that I like driving and requires real focus yea yea “all cars require focus whether it’s a Camry or a Caterham” shush, I don’t care about my phone or the admittedly trite and useless texts waiting on it. I drive my Miata like a kid in a go-kart who just found out his parents are getting divorced, making texting both impossible and an intruder on my fun. Other cars like the C63 AMG, Corvettes, or Mini Cooper Countryman JCW were so fun and exciting to drive, you forgot about anything else in the world. And most of those cars have manual transmissions, something I’ve said could help distracted driving.

Put me in a family sedan with auto-everything, and my mind (and hand) is left to wander. I still don’t text and drive, because it requires staring at the touch screen to type, and that’s WAY too much time spent looking not out the windshield [purposeful grammar error]. Turret’s point-that I agree with- is with the right car, you won’t text because you’ll be having too much fun driving.

So, if you or perhaps your teenage children are having issues with texting, buy (them) a fun car. Like a Corvette. That won’t cause any accidents at all.

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What’s up everyone, sorry for the delay but episode 11 of The Smoking Tire Podcast is now up. This week our guests were Bill Caswell and his co-driver, Wyatt Knox. If you don’t know, Bill Caswell is a self-taught racing driver, mechanic, and fabricator. He got famous (on the internet) by taking a $500 Craigslist BMW to WRC Mexico in March of 2010. He just finished racing the Mint 400 in Nevada, after retro-fitting said BMW with big, knobby, 4×4 tires. It’s quite rad, if I do say so myself.

Wyatt is a part-time instructor at the Tim O’Neil Rally school, and was the the 2011 Rally America FWD Champion.  How he can comfortably ride shotgun while Bill, a “self-taught race car driver” barrels along on Mexican cliffs, I have no idea. Together they are misfits of motoring, traveling the country, welding in the middle of the night, experiencing some of the craziest moments we’ve ever heard. I envy their drive, know-how, and who-gives-a-fuck-edness. We will have them back soon, provided they are alive. Jump to listen.

“Build, Race, Party”

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by Zack K

Let me say up front, this is probably a video of a tragedy. If you don’t want to see a car smashed to pieces, move along. I posted this video because it drives home what can happen if you are not 100% focused on driving, ESPECIALLY when there is ice or snow on the road. I also posted this because recently someone has been spamming our FB page with videos of them doing what we describe as “really dangerous and stupid driving.” Passing on shoulders, crossing double yellow, “Playing Chicken with a Mac Truck”, etc.  They posted so many times (even after requests to stop) we had to ban them, because we don’t condone flagrantly dangerous and stupid driving. Some might argue BullRun is filled with insanity, but 1. A lot of those drivers use more caution than the poster. 2. The serious drivers (Rawlings, Roy) know how to speed safely, and 3. They don’t do it everyday, like this person was.

So this video is to send a reality check to everyone, but especially the keyboard bad-asses and wannabe race car drivers. You should always be focused on driving, but when there’s a variety of surfaces and slippery conditions, you need to be a ninja on Aderrall trying to count cards in Vegas. Jump to watch. (Warning, there is a terrible accident. No people are visible, but it’s clear some was very hurt or killed)

I hope the people in this car came out alive, and I’m not saying they are a bad driver, or they were texting (like the comments have assumed). I just people to see how fast things can get out of control.

Something similar to this crash happened to me in 2006, while driving on Hwy 36 to Boulder, CO, after a massive storm. The highway was 90% clear of snow, with a wet sheen on top, but almost all the snow gone. 1/4 mile from my exit, there was a long patch of slushy snow in the right side of the lane. My right tires hit it at 60mph (I was in my STI, over-confident in the snow tires and AWD).

It felt like someone hit the brakes, but only on the right side. The right side slowed, the left didn’t. The tarmac was slick enough the left tires got loose, and the car rotated clockwise, quickly. I counter-steered, and it rotated back the other way, toward the cement divider. My eyes got as big as dinner plates at the thought of stacking my 2 week old car into solidified rock-powder. I counter-steered again, the car went the other way, spinning across the right lane, a full 360 degrees, and coming to a loud but extremely soft “WHUMP” in the 4-foot snowbank, the result of the recent storm. The car was unscathed, completely. My girlfriend at the time apologized profusely for begging me to go in to town to fetch her change of clothes or whatever the fuck it was she thought was so god damn important the day after a 24″ snowfall.

I learned a lesson about traction that day. The video above should be a lesson in attentiveness. In these conditions, drifting from your lane-something many people do during regular commuting for one reason or another-can have serious consequences. Enjoy cars. Enjoy driving. But be smart, be as safe as possible, and know that the worst case scenario is absolutely possible. Because right after I was towed out of that snow bank, a car in front of me did the same slippery dance I had done, but they hit the wall.

Source: YouTube

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by Zack K

How could this happen? How can we, as humans, not have learned from our past mistakes? Child laborers, the FEMA disaster of Hurricane Katrina, baggy shirts on women in the 80s (they hide the truth!), spray-on hair, or buzzing designs into our hair (guilty). We’re so busy yelling about that KONY guy, that we let the beast that created the Mansory Porsche Panamera into the home of the simple, lightweight sports car maker, Lotus. The world cannot endure two traumas of this magnitude at the same time!

Lotus decided to make Mansory the “design” house for their bespoke model program. They decided to do this after receiving a positive response for the Mansory-built Swizz Beats Evora GTE and the Lotus F1 Edition.

Evora F1 Edition

The bare carbon is ok, although at this point I think carbon fiber has become like a Chihuahua jumping up and down on your shin, “Do you see me? Do you? Do you? Do you? Love me! Love me! Love me!”. The Swizz car (red, top) isn’t bad, although the wing seems out of place to me on the Evora’s smooth form.

But these cars don’t put the fear of Mansory in me. They’re tame. Like an ex-con who asks out your sister, bakes her muffins, shows you his water color paintings of flowers, but hides his passion for chain-saw art. Because we know what Mansory has done in the past:

Exhibit A: Panamera Interior (may cause epileptic seizures

Exhibit B: The Panamera Exterior

Exhibit C: The Ferrar version of a pizza with everything.

And finally, an interior that looks like it was built by checking “All” in a catalog for interior trim options, and finding a way to stick them all on simultaneously. Because the 458 interior was clearly too simple, sparse and clean, right? It’s like lowering a magnet into that bin of “Misc. Bolts” in your garage.

I’m starting a relief fund to help cars that have been abused by Mansory, and there’s a possible march planned for July.

Be careful, Lotus. Remember, “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”

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by Zack k

The engine block coffee table; the ultimate display of clinically dangerous car enthusiasm. It’s the lap-dog version of a car, always waiting for you when you come home, because you can’t fit your car in the door. Or maybe it’s from a car you can’t afford. It is the wall poster for men. It makes you look like a badass, even if you had to hire some former high-school line backers to carry it into  your house.

We all want one. It’s our baseball card collection. People cover coffee tables in magazines and books to show strangers their “super cool and fascinating interests!”, so why not have the coffee table do that. It’s almost like someone telling the story of the free self-defense class they took at work during a “team building” exercise, and you cutting one of their sleeves off with a katana, without actually moving.

Now I didn’t build  this one,  this guy did. I think it’s from a 1967 Plymouth Fury 3, but correct me if you know better.  I found his post on reddit and since I’ve always wanted to do this, I thought some of you might find it interesting. I added some captions to go step by step with his build. Check out the pictures, and if you’ve made one of these, submit it in the comments.

1. Get an Engine

This is the first, most crucial and probably most personal step. What engine do I want in my house? Whatever you get, make sure it’s special to you, and there’s a real reason you picked it. Whatever you choose, someone will give you shit about it, but all that’s important is you have a real reason you chose it. Don’t say, “Oh, I saw people making these so I found this one in the Brookstone catalog. These pistons-these are the pistons right?- actually hold up the engine! Neat, huh? I just loooove industrial designs.” Take a lap.

You’ve probably thought about what engine you would pick. It’s a tough call.  To me it’s not just having something related to cars and engines inside, I am basically displaying a car I feel is cool or special enough to put in my house. To see everyday. So it’s gotta be awesome.

Personally, I wouldn’t get a Chevy V-8; that’s like buying a Camry. I understand there’s people out there that probably have a soft spot for a Chevy (or any engine/manufacturer) but a Chevy 350 is an engine I have no connection to, and it’s too damn easy to find. Of course I thought about getting a Ferrari V-12 engine, but that just means I still don’t own a Ferrari. I could see myself with an old Lambo V-12, an R32 (love the way it sounds) or a 428 Super Cobra Jet (same engine as in the kit Cobra I built with my dad and brother). I like what Lambos represent (though they’re far down my purchase list), R32s stuck with me for some reason and the 428 is obvious. I’m sure there will be some scoffs at my choices, but I really don’t give a **** (Can you guess the hidden word? Wrong.)

When you decide what to get, hopefully you already figured out how to get it (eBay, junk yard, good ol’ fashioned sexual favors). If you found the engine by itself, move to step 2. If you have to take it out of the car, get some tools and a cherry picker and get to work.

2. Disassemble

You have to take the engine apart, both for cleaning and because an engine with old hoses and wires under glass looks ugly and smells of laziness (and elderberries). I say go no heads, unless they’re awesome looking or marked an advance in technology or something. Take the engine completely apart, so that you can clean it up. Everyone will be scrutinize your handy work, so don’t leave crap on just for the sake of time. Doing this on the couch can also be used to end a bad relationship.

3. Clean

How clean you want it is up to you. I’ve seen tables with surgically sterile engines and ones that looked like they were built with the care and time constraint of a Pictionary drawing. This guy did it right and sandblasted the engine. This is probably the best thing to do. If you don’t have a sandblaster pay a shop to do it. It’ll save you hours spent with a brush and probably get spots you would miss. That moves this up from home project to art piece.

See? Clean.

4. Design

Most people leave the parts blasted or polished, but there’s no rules.  This guy wanted to paint the rods and crank for some contrast. So paint did.

5. Modify

Engines don’t come designed to hold your Chamomile, and although you might be able to rest the glass right on the bare block, the best ones have supports to raise the glass up a bit. That means modification time. I’ve seen these with bolts coming up the corners, but the pimp way to do it is use the rods and pistons, the way the Native Americans did. That means welding. This guy welded 4 rods/pistons on the bottom to raise it off the ground, then 4 on top to support the glass.

Welded feets.

6. Glass

I dunno, measure it out and go buy glass at a glass store.

7. Final assembly

If you did it right, this should mean putting it in your room of choice and laying the glass on top. You might need a friend to help carry it, unless you round house it into place like Chuck Norris. C’mon, don’t be a *****.

*TST not responsible for broken feet or backs.

Finito, er, dun!

Turned out pretty sweet. I really like the legs, and leaving the timing chain and crank breaks up the flat color at that end. This table won’t bring you an avalanche of coitus, but it does have convenient holes for storing you TV remote and Lonely Gentleman’s Quarterly magazine. I’ll be building one eventually, I already have the magazine.

Source: Reddit  Find poster link name.)

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by Zack K

The only time I say, “Good news from Germany” is when it’s about a car (Although I hear their cuisine is up to “Hot Pocket level.”) Mercedes is going to offer its 2013 GLK with a diesel engine, in the US. Now that’s weird, because as far as I’ve seen from American, Swedish and Japanese dealerships, Americans hate diesel cars.

I do not hate diesel cars (terrorist!!), and for a car like this, it’s actually the perfect motor. Yeah, an AMG is really cool to read about, but nothing says “I wish I were rich and hung” like a mini sport ute with a big engine. That market segment would be smaller than Lindsay Lohan’s IMDB page for 2012. Today, in reality, what you want for crossover/SUV/next-marketable-brand-term is a torquey motor that doesn’t stop for gas all the time. We drove the BMW X5d, and the engine suited it perfectly. The 2013 GLK BlueTEC will have a 2.1L 4-cylinder making 190HP and 369 torque. That means they’ll have a commercial where this car tows a jet ski, something future owners will never, ever do.

But, I like torque, you like torque, and as I said before, the luxury buyers that get regular V-8s love torque, so theoretically, they should love a diesel engine. Hopefully the increase of diesel models from overseas (and successful sales, hopefully) will get other manufacturers on this side too. Unless you’re driving a performance car, everyone just wants high MPG. There’s no efficiency numbers for this one yet, but I’m betting it’s over 30, which isn’t something other crossovers get, not without sacrificing 220 ft-lbs, at least.

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by Zack K

 This post is dedicated to Dan Frederiksen, who called the GTR “primitive.”

This is my kind of team building exercise: setting the world record for most simultaneous donuts. Dear “trust fall”, you are officially the saltine packet at the buffet of team work. The previous record was 57, done in Australia sometime between 1902 and now. This time, 75 cars from around Northern California assembled at Infineon, for the weekly Sonoma Drift event. All the cars spread out on the tarmac. Some elected to put a cone down as a reference point. Considering you’re swinging a 3,000lb metal bat next to other 3,000lb metal bats, might be a good idea to stay in your area.

After some brake stands (the hoon’s answer to the National Anthem) the cars let loose, looking like a pinwheel firework factory mishap. Spirals of tire smoke as far as the eye could see. (Good thing I brought my re-useable grocery bags to the store today; It’s all about balancing our carbon footprint.) And where there’s drift cars, there’s cameras. Like a football replay thingy, we found 5 good angles for you to watch from. Enjoy, and bless these 75 brave drivers. They’re like the Buzz Aldrins of our generation. Ok, not really, but this is awesome.

Look for China to eventually break this record, with a bunch of 12 year old drivers on growth hormones in cars that “so are NOT direct copy cats of a Nissan, Mustang or Mazda!!”

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Scroll down for the video.

by Zack K

Now this is my kind of driving that only a RWD car can achieve. It’s Patrick Snijers on his way to the 1988 Manx rally championship. He’s chucking a rectangle of metal into a corner with the fury,  power-on over-steer all over the place, darting over the bumpy roads with the agility and speed of Bruce Lee. A car that’s flying and darting along this fast, backed by the angry sound track of a pissed 4 cylinder, has a personality to it that is missing in other forms of racing. After locking in the win, by driving at what has to be at the absolute limit, Snijers started doing some “exhibition driving”, laying down rubber around each corner. Ohhhh me likey.

To Thad and I, this is how a car should be driven every day. If laws and safety allowed, I would attack every light, on-ramp and speed bump like this. It almost seems like he kidnapped his co-driver and is running from the police. To quote the great poet Mike Lowry, of the theatrical masterpiece, Bad Boys, “Now THAT’s how you supposed to drive!! From now on, THAT’s how you drive!!” Jump to see the video.

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by Zack K

I’d like to introduce a new segment here: Car Stuff to Waste Money On. For the first example, we have a $24,000 model of a Ferrari F1 car. It’s actually over 6 feet long, and was used by Ferrari in the wind tunnel for aerodynamic development. F1 teams use models to save them money and materials; Same way the White House they blew up in Independence Day was a model (spoiler alert). It’s a little-known piece of F1 history, and it would be a cool addition to a collection, but I would need many dollars in my bank account to justify buying it. I would need the amount of money Busta Rhymes refers to as, “of Arabian descent”, (that’s the PC translation).  The question is, what do you do with it?

Your kid can’t drive it around and belittle the peons in Power Wheels and it’s not a very good desk ornament. I have two harebrained ideas:

1. You make it the most awesome RC car ever. People are making RC planes about this size now, complete with mini jet engines, so why not make a 6 foot RC car? “Where would you drive it?” Don’t know. “What engine?” No idea. “Do the wheels or suspension parts even work?” Probably not. Who cares. You have $25k to buy this giant paperweight thing, you can make it work.

2. Go to a supermarket, rip one of those dumb, plastic ponies off those $.25 rides and bolt this bitch on. After all, who doesn’t want to sit on a race car and stare at the side of a Pepsi machine while they rock back and forth?

No those won’t work. This will probably end up as a talking point in someone’s awesome garage. All you need now is the matching mini-wind tunnel (sold separately by Mattel) and the Ghostbusters Headquarters, and you will have the coolest toy box in your private housing community.

Source: Ebay

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by Zack K

It’s the second to last episode of TUNED, and it is a good one. We unfortunately had to postpone a shoot with this car so many times because…it kept breaking. But that’s bound to happen when you have a 1.8 liter engine that has both a super and turbo-charger. Yes. Exactly. With those two add-ons stuffing air in like Oprah at a Golden Corral, it makes 710HP. It’s also wider, lighter and has more custom pieces than Michael Jackson’s face. It is, without a doubt, the craziest car of the season.

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by Zack K

How long does it take to turn a black Lexus LFA yellow, using vinyl? 18 hours. Top Gear USA needed a yellow Lexus LFA for an upcoming shoot, but I guess the normal yellow press car was busy (or maybe broken, like it was when The Car Show needed one). So VIP Auto Salon set up a camera on time-lapse and went to work transforming this one.

I never knew how long a vinyl wrap took, but I didn’t expect it to take 18 hours. But there’s a noticeable difference between a cheap quick wrap and one that is almost indiscernible from a real paint job. If you want every curve, crack and seam properly filled with stretchy plastic, it takes time. The beauty of time-lapse is 18 hours is compressed into a 5 minute video. Jump to watch.

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by Zack K

What’s up everyone, welcome to another episode of The Smoking Tire podcast. This week Blake Rong joined us. He’s an Associate Online Editor at Automotive.com (whacky name, huh?). We talk about straight guys driving Miatas, Matt’s trip to the snow to drive some Fords, budget sports cars, broken Corvettes and F1 hot tubs. That last one might be a typo. Jump and download.

Note: Blake was LATE so we weren’t able to set his levels before we began. We apologize. Don’t worry, we took it out on his face.

iTunes:  http://www.itunes.com/podcast?id=496797178

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As a member of the automotive media, I get lots of press releases in my inbox. Normally, I ignore them as there are plenty of other web sites out there who simply regurgitate press releases in the name of clicks, but we feel that you deserve more than just rearranged, prewritten news. But today let’s analyze a company called Blue Magic, and its owner Jerry O’Pry, as well as their marketing tactics. 

This morning, I received the following email from a company called Social Radius:

Dear Matt,

Jerry O’Pry is in a real fix. As the CEO of Blue Magic, Jerry must sell 67,000 Wheel & Tire Care Kits before June 17 or he may very well lose his job. So, Jerry himself is hitting the road to do what he does best – sell. And he’s doing it all on a shoestring budget.

You can hear it straight from Jerry here: http://youtu.be/OMnhMg59lN0

The Wheel & Tire Care Kit costs $25 at your local auto parts store, and Jerry wants to make it even easier for you to save his job. You can visit www.GoJerryGo.com and download a coupon or rebate to save $5 off the kits.

You’ll also have a chance to win Jerry’s car! Yes, his actual car. Just upload a pic of you posing with the Wheel & Tire Care Kit, and you’re entered to win. Check out the car, get your savings and follow Jerry’s progress toward selling 67,000 kits at www.GoJerryGo.com.

We’d love for you to share Jerry’s video, savings and contest with your readers on The Smoking Tire. Thanks for your consideration!

Best,

[Name Redacted]

Now, let’s look at why Blue Magic might not be doing so well in the first place. Could it be that the name Blue Magic has been used in everything from hair care products, to soul music, and, most notably, heroin?

Doubtful, because lets face it, Blue Magic isn’t the most original name in the world, and therefore isn’t surprising to see splashed on a variety of products. Especially because we all know that the secret to a really shiny wheel is to rub heroin all over it. That shit polishes up chrome real nice.

No, the reason Blue Magic is failing is because there is another brand out there that has been doing wheel and tire care longer, and more successfully than Jerry has, called, you guessed it, Black Magic. Since wheels and tires are much more often black than blue, if I see those two products next to each other on the shelf, I’m thinking, “I want the one that makes my tires look black. I’m going with Black Magic.”

Rocket science, right? It doesn’t matter if Jerry’s product is the greatest wheel cleaner to ever clean wheels (except Heroin, of course), he’s either flagrantly tried to associate himself with Black Magic, or worse, is oblivious to the fact that a much more well known product with a much more appropriate name is sitting on the shelf right next to his product.

OK, Jerry has to sell a shit ton of these products, right? And the press release wants you to go to Jerry’s web site and download a coupon for it. Why isn’t he also selling kits online through the website? If I’m interested enough to go buy a $5 off coupon, but the nearest retailer is 5 miles from my house, all the money I’ve saved now goes to the gas it takes me to get to the store and back. Why can’t I just buy a bottle online using a discount code or something? And to sell that many bottles in that many days, why doesn’t he just fly to the AutoZone or Advance Auto Parts headquarters and sell them all the bottles at once? Does he really think he can door-to-door that many bottles in 80 days? The poor guy will probably drop dead of a heart attack somewhere around bottle 11,000.

Then there’s the matter of “winning Jerry’s car.” You’ll notice that the press release says “Yes, his actual car, ” as if they were trying to give away Jay Leno’s McLaren F1. This is a guy who’s bad at selling chemicals, not an automotive celebrity. I believe it’s the guy’s real car. If I’m going to have a contest to give away a car, it had better be a damn nice car that people will actually want to win, and that the PR flack would want to mention in the release. Here’s what the press release doesn’t tell you: Jerry’s car sucks. It’s a 2004 Infiniti G35 with traveling salesman miles on it. You could give me that car, but I’d immediately destroy the thing with a sledgehammer and turn it into a LeMons racer, because that’s about all it’s good for. By the way, if he’s that desperate for cash, why doesn’t he sell the thing instead of giving it away?

I almost feel bad for Jerry. He’s probably paying this PR company to help him with a “viral campaign,” that some 22 year old consultant told him was a good idea. Except he’s so set in his old-school ways that he thinks combining traveling salesman road trips with this campaign will work. I’d bet no one told him that the name of his product sucks, and if he wants to save his business (and that’s assuming the product works,) he should re-brand it with a better name and a real tagline, and start all over. I’ve been addicted to the show “Shark Tank,” where people try to pitch their products and ideas to a team of savvy investors, hoping to get a partner out of the deal. Half the time, the investors look at the product and simply say, “I’ve seen it before, and what makes yours unique?” The salesmen try, but never convince the Sharks they’ve done something new. If Jerry went on “Shark Tank” with Blue Magic, and I was Mark Cuban, I wouldn’t buy it either. Hell, I wouldn’t buy it off the shelf, especially if it was right next to a bottle of Black Magic.

On the other hand, the viral campaign did convince me to post the links to his videos, so I think a thank you is in order from Social Radius.

By Zack K

A few days ago we posted a story about the Delta Wing, an experimental vehicle built by Dan Gurney’s company-All American Racers-and funded powered by a Nissan power-plant. Nissan is trying to lead the charge in efficiency, and they think that along with hybrid drive trains and small engines, light weight is an important step. Really light. Barely over 1,000 pounds light. Enter: Delta Wing. It looks the head of a spear and (theoretically) uses half the gas and tires of other race cars without being any slower. The real test is at the upcoming 24 Hours of Le Mans, but Nissan had the public driving debut this week at the 12 Hours of Sebring. And there’s video. Enjoy.

Unveiling at Sebring

In-car

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by Zack K

Oh boy do we have a good one.  This guy asks his wife, “How long does it take to go 80 miles, if you’re going 80 miles per hour?” Watch and enjoy, while I send this video to scientists researching “the blonde effect.” I just hope she has round-the-clock care, because she clearly can’t be outside unsupervised. Comments were disabled by the OP, because he doesn’t want his wife reading what an idiot she is. In a related story, there’s a sale on doormats this weekend at Crate & Barrel.

Holy shit, right? The fact that she has a license, a job (maybe), can vote, and has real kitchen knives and scissors for adults, is scary.

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by Zack K

For anyone under 18 today is St. Patty’s day. I bet there’s a really sweet story somewhere about St. Patrick, and why we honor him today, but from what I’ve gathered in 11 years of research (since I turned 18 and left the nest) it’s a day that pardons all forms of inebriated behavior. Punch someone? No problem. Puke in public? Tradition. Fornicate with a 54-year old retired cop from Boston, just because you liked his accent? Fine work, lassie.

In honor of this day, where you are probably incapable of reading sentences on a page, I put together a little gallery of Irish rally videos. The Irish deliver of pace notes is way more entertaining than the usual, collected, dictation-like delivery of other co-drivers. Crack a beer, make the jump. We’re off to time warp to tomorrow morning.

This first clip is near and dear to my heart. These guys come up on a slower car that refuses to move aside…for awhile. We share a vocabulary and attitude toward slower cars. We’re practically Eskimo brothers.

This co-driver is excited!! Take the energy of that Quake kid with the unceasing vocal attack of a Chihuahua locked in a car, add an accent and away you go.

What rally gallery wouldn’t be complete without a crash compilation. “Charlie, I’m really sorry.”

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by Zack K

I’m sure you all know Richard Hammond has a new show starting this year, called “Crash Course.” As far as I can tell he goes around driving giant machinery; tanks, bulldozers, etc. He has 3 days to “master” the machines, after which he’ll probably have some sort of challenge to complete. Basically he gets to run around and be an 8 year old boy, which makes us all very jealous.

If you’re still inside and sober enough to operate your computer, make the jump for the video. But do not get inspired and jump in your truck and try to drive over a Mustang, as I’m sure you’ll want to after a few car bombs.

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AUDI RS5 – Evade from Gevorg Karensky on Vimeo.

Kids these days are doing the darndest things. From TST fan Gevorg Karensky, a student at the Pasadena College of Art And Design (possibly the best school in the country if you want to design cars for a living) comes this neat clip rendered in full CGI of an Audi RS5 dodging some major boulders in slow motion. Your chance to grade Gevorg’s homework in the comments below.

by Zack K

Full disclosure: I only drove the Azera from the Mandarin Oriental to Spring Mountain Motorsports Ranch in Pahrump, a distance of 54 miles. As such, my impressions are based on a brief experience on glass-smooth roads, with a few long curves.

A few weeks ago I went to Las Vegas for Hyundai’s 2012 Azera launch, and although I didn’t drift around a Maxim model or race a Veyron SS in it, I did find plenty of good things to say about the car. Jump to read on.

In 2010 I reviewed the Buick Lacrosse CXS, another brand on the shelf of family carry-alls that float through freeway traffic with the glamor and flash of a common pigeon. My conclusion was people buying these cars aren’t deluded into thinking they’ve found a budget M5 or Rapide. They aren’t looking for a car to stir their soul, win races or drop panties at the valet stand. They simply want a car. They’re buying laundry detergent, not decorating their house for Architectural Digest. They want it to be comfortable, well-equipped, and of reasonable cost. This is the market the Azera-a car that has been killing it in Korea but is new to our land- is gunning for. So for all you Rockstar chuggers that complain Matt doesn’t drift enough, I apologize. I did not jump it over Caesar’s palace, Hyundai didn’t allow J turns and despite being in Vegas, we did not re-create The Hangover.

My drive began the morning after a long night of adventures with Mr. Farah. He drank vodka, I drove El Raptor in the snow and the maids accidentally gave us access to the gigantic Jay-Z-esque suite next door, where we celebrated our snowy drive. So the morning sun was met with squinted eyes and cranium-mounted church bells. 4 coffees, 1 green tea, 4 bottles of water and a Monster Rehab later, I was standing in front of “our” 2012 Hyundai Azera. I say “our”, because Hyundai informed us they had a special car, with special insurance, just for Matt. Apparently they’re friends with the DMV.

The first impression was good. The skin has similar proportions to the competition, with Hyundai’s “Fluidic Sculpture” laid over it. I noticed a little E-class in the headlights, but since the E-class looks like it can cut your soul, that’s fine. The proportions and designs in this segment can be so similar they remind me of engineers tackling the F1 aero regulations; Working inside a small box, trying to find originalality. The Buick had the same silhouette as a Lexus ES, so the Azera’s more fluid, squatted look is refreshing. Because the cars in this market share so many dimensions buyers demand, the difference is in the details. It won’t elicit catcalls from teenage boys with camera phones, but the Azera is a good-looking car.

The outside of this car gets people to the dealership, but like eating at a re-modeled Taco Bell, it’s what you get inside that counts. I don’t have 2.5 kids and a failing mortgage, but I bet if I did I would want to get the most for the least. At least, that’s what Hyundai is hoping, because for $32,000 their list of standard features is seriously impressive:

Leather, everywhere (Wheel, shifter, doors, seats)

Tilt/telescope wheel, which is covered in buttons too.

Navigation

Heated/cooled front seats

Power front seats

Heated rear seats

Dual climate control

Cooled glove box

Fog lights

Heated side mirrors

Chrome window molding

Best in class front leg and headroom

Bluetooth

iPod/AUX inputs (Dear Subaru STI…)

Blue Link (Concierge service, like OnStar)

That’s a lot of stuff. For $32,000? Hell yeah. I don’t want a car this big (or practical), but or a second, I did. I looked around and couldn’t find anything missing. The only option package available comes with a sunroof, ventilated seats, HIDs and a better stereo. Since I’ve don’t get the allure of a windy hole over my head, I’m perfectly happy with the standard car.

Both the number of amenities and their execution impressed me. Panel gaps were tiny. Touch points were soft leather, soft plastics or smooth rubber. Like the Sonata, there’s that feeling of flow. The center stack’s originality stands out from the competition, without being as confusing as an Aston’s (and without looking like one a senior citizen’s/child’s cell phone, Lacrosse). It’s a strong example of mixing form and function, a game that doesn’t require a black AMEX to play.

Two details we complimented were the strip of smooth rubber inside the door handle and chrome accents on the window switches. Many times manufacturers carry these parts over and stick the same Chicklet buttons in every car. That one resonated because it’s a smart solution to an unnoticed. As they say, layups still score points.

Hyundai used several selections of plastic, achieving a look that’s more expensive than it is (to buy or make). The rep said that was a focus for this car. I appreciated that not only for aesthetic reasons, but because I felt like they had put real thought into how it looks and feels to an owner. This company continues to impress me with with their artistic use of seemingly cheap or simple materials. Good looks don’t require big cost.

As I said before, the drive time in this car was as brief and drama-free as peeing in your own house. The roads were smooth and empty, and lacking a V1 and carrying a Hyundai employee means no Bavarian-like high-speed excitement.

I didn’t experience a visceral orgasm, but that’s not what you want in a car like this. What you want is smooth, quiet confidence. You want enough power to enter a freeway and hope for good MPG possible. In that game this car succeeds. The 3.3 Liter V-6 makes 293 HP and 255 tq. It boasts the highest HP/liter in its class (a great factoid, I guess). What you want is power and MPG, and it has both. It’s fast enough, ties the Avalon and TL for best MPG (20 city/29 hwy/23 comb.) and on the road it’s very quiet. YouTube test-drivers might whine it doesn’t pull hard above 100MPH, but really, who cares? The only time these cars go that fast is when you loan it to your teenage son, or to me. Remember kids, not everything needs twin-turbos or an RS-M-AMG badge. Smooth, quiet, good MPG; In a car like this, that’s all you need.

The same goes for the handling. I didn’t go any twisty roads, so my perspective is limited to fast sweepers and stoplights. But the car didn’t roll or bounce.  On the mountain pass I felt completely cool and confident. Cracks in the road were hidden away from ears and ass. Another journalist noticed a lot of wind noise, but neither Matt nor I noticed it. With cooled seats, climate set and a good ride we had a very comfortable drive to the track.

In the weeks since the event I’ve realized a parallel between the Azera’s market and the Vegas location. The people shopping for an Azera, Lacrosse, Maxima, Taurus, TL or ES350 are like the customers of a casino buffet; they want lots of flavors for one lump price. They won’t complain the Chow Mein lacks authenticity. If the Circus Circus buffet offers the same thing as Tropicana, plus a smoothie bar, they’ll go there. Tasty food, kaleidoscope of choice, acceptable-looking atmosphere. Bam, done, where do they sign. What Hyundai has done is made that buffet look and feel closer to a real, upscale dining experience. They give you the dessert buffet, chocolate fountain and 5 kinds of chicken but in a tasteful building with an interior that makes you think you’re at a Thomas Keller restaurant.

It didn’t turn me on, it didn’t sound like a tank battalion or throw me like a pumpkin chucker, but that’s not its job. Its job is to provide good transportation at a good price, and since it did all that and it’s the best looking (I think), it gets the bonus. If you have $32k and want a 4-door sedan of this size, it deserves a look.

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by Zack K

This is a speed limit sign from around 1915. I think they’re onto something. Or, were onto something, before they, you know, died. Not from speeding, but because that was 100 years ago. But I think we need to bring back this honor system. If it’s working for drugs in Portugal, why not speeding here? Oh, because we have the texting, and distractions, and a DMV system as difficult to pass as doing laps in a kiddy pool. And the slow people. And the pscyhos. And the stupid people…damnit.

Source: Reddit

by Zack K

We at TST don’t really like sports. Super Bowl: Excuse to drink and eat. Hockey: Only cool in person. Baseball: horrible. I’ll watch a select few college football teams, but even that requires the stars to align just right. By “stars” I mean, “at home with my parents and use my alma mater as a way to avoid answering mom’s questions on any recent sexual activity I’ve had.(true story).” Not going to sports games means not getting to do “the wave.” That’s not really a problem, because after you turn 14, you realize “the wave” is actually kind of lame. I’m sure this group calisthenic was super cool back in the 40s, but that was also a time where hula-hoops were the shit. (jump for the video)

Besides, don’t they realize that people go to sports games to sit? If I wanted exercise, I’d play the sport. Don’t sell me bad ice cream, 5 $9 beers and a hot dog and then make me do squats. I’m sure my lack of commitment to standing up with 40,000 people has to do with my lack of shit-giving to the event on the field, but I’ve personally watched the enthusiasm of nearby fans dwindle over the years. We’re all kind of over it. “The wave” can’t really compete in the time of X-Games and energy drinks. Our standards for what’s exciting and fun have been raised.

But, a version of “the wave” where a line of 15 cars sequentially begin a burnout as soon as a dude with a flag sprints past the hood? That’s something I will gladly watch over and over again and would be honored to participate in. These crazy bunch of Aussies lined up 15 cars, and played burnout dominoes, filling the air with 3 colors of tire smoke. F to the yes. Next, someone develop an automotive version of a marching band. I’m thinking synchronized Gymkhana with 20 cars, yes? Enjoy.

Source: lukeman589 and Streetfire.net

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Photo: Joel Strickland

by Zack K

How hard was this hit? Hard enough to take the left door off. Off off, as in, no longer having problems reaching the drive-thru, or seeing if you’re between the parking lines. This was shot in Australia at the opening stage of the East Coast Bullbars Rally in Calder. The car gets loose on the outside grass, and goes into a high-speed slide. The co-drive went to the hospital where he found out he had a dislocated pelvis, an ailment that has plagued Shaq and Tommy Lee’s girlfriends for years. Luckily both drivers will be ok. Jump to watch the video.

Source: Carmooch,  BoschARC

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by Zack K

Yes, I would buy this. This was a 1993 Ford Lightning. People love these trucks, although I’ve never figured out why. I respect them, I think for their time they were badass, but I didn’t connect to them in 1993 so I have no warm, fuzzy memory that makes me linger when they drive by.

However, someone has super-charged this one, given it 18″ and 26″ of travel (F/R) and turned it into a truck that jumps up in the air and punches the desert in the face, 4 tires at a time. I’ve had a boner for desert racing and pre-running for a long time. You get the flight and freedom of a dirt bike without the worry of wrapping your spine around a cactus. And this truck is only $16,500. It’s a retro bargain that’s been turned into a light aircraft hooligan. And the square shape with black on black on black? Tough. If I had the disposable income I dream of, this would easily find a way into the garage. Jump for pics and a link to the ad.

Source: Race-dezert.com

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by Zack K

I know it’s not the Batmobile, but this is one of the coolest, most radical vehicles I’ve seen in a long time. It’s an ultra-light experimental vehicle, powered by a 1.6L turbo-charged Nissan engine. It’s so light and slippery that Nissan says they can race it at Le Mans and only use half the fuel of their competitors. They also plan to use what they learn on future road cars. So if you always wanted to drive an SR-71 Blackbird to a drive-thru, you might have  the chance. Jump for more info, a gallery and 2 videos about the DeltaWing.

The DeltaWing is an experimental vehicle built by Nissan and a bunch of other companies. The overall goal was to prove the benefits of high efficiency, achieving that with extreme light weight. Nissan has been trying to lead the charge of the eco-friendly with the LEAF, and with other manufacturers investing heavily in carbon fiber, it makes sense they’d want to be involved with something like this.

Let’s take a second to look at how cool this crazy car(?) is. This is a miniature SR-71 with the wings taken off. The nose looks very slippery, and perfect for making a pedestrian ka-bob. If they want efficient, it makes sense they would come up with something that resembles a fast plane. How much this extreme shape will trickle down to the future Mazda 2 I don’t know, but for now I’m going to dream of the day I can commute in something that looks this murderous while telling people it’s for the benefit of the environment. I’ll bet they’re merely testing the benefits of light weight and better aero and incorporate that knowledge (slightly) into their future designs, but if they’re wondering if they should build a Mazda3 Spaceship, the answer is yes. “Honey, I sold the Prius and got something that gets way better mileage. Here, put on this helmet and come outside.”

The idea and design for the DeltaWing came from Ben Bowlby. It was then was built by (among many many others) All-American Racers, a company owned by retired racing ninja Dan Gurney. Nissan came on board later in the project to supply engines, and probably a bunch of money. When they built it, their target weight was just over 1,000 pounds. Because every inch of it needed to be ultra-light, they couldn’t just grab parts off the shelf; they would be too heavy. So a lot of the parts in the car had to be designed, built, tested, and perfected, in-house.Then Nissan got it, and gave it a heart; a DIG-T (Direct Injection Gasoline-Turbocharged) 300HP 1.6 Liter turbo.

Obviously there’s no class this car would fit into; it’s running as an experimental vehicle, kind of like the GT3 R Hybrid. Looking at the car I had to wonder if it would turn as well as a normal car. Usually you widen the tracks to make grip and cornering better, and this quite the opposite. But Nissan says it should run laps somewhere between the LMP1 and LMP2 cars’ times. That is fast. If they can actually run that quickly, while using half the fuel and power of the other cars, maybe we’ll see the engorgement of the last decade decline more aggressively.

Each year cars get bigger and bigger (although many hit the buffet wall and are now getting a little lighter), just so we can have more airbags, more electronics, bigger seats for our ever-fattening asses. It bugs me that a 5-series is almost the size of the outgoing 7. In the world of ever wanting more, the DeltaWing is an exciting bit of minimalism. It’s the pendulum going the other way to see what can be done with the absolute least.

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by Zack K

The Pagani Zonda is one of my favorite cars of all time. Doesn’t matter if it’s the F, R, Cinque Ciento, or Eddie Bauer edition, I think they’re the best of the hyper cars. From the way they look on the outside, the screaming AMG motors, the incredible performance and especially the hand-made jewelry-like interior, they are just exquisite. I must admit, I don’t think the Huayra is as pretty as the Zonda, but it has active aerodynamic flaps, like a damn fighter jet, so who cares what it looks like (it’s still pretty, just not perfect).

Pagani documented the process that created this masterpiece, showing everything from concept development and design to crash and wind testing. Grab a chair, and enjoy what is basically the king of all “How its Made” videos.

Ever since I saw those flaps pop up under cornering, I was amazed by this car, especially the creativity that must have led to developing that kind of system. Someone sat down one day, probably over an espresso after making love to a gorgeous woman, and said “What if we makea the car likea the plane? With the ah flaps the mova the air and help turn?” We’re nearing a point where 1000HP is expected for any serious exotic, and the next step is making all that power more and more usable. Active aero is a breakthrough idea, and makes perfect sense. I also wonder if this system will be commonplace in 30 years? Imagine your Ford Fiesta with flaps that pop up during cornering. Cars are getting crazy, but it’s that good “uninhibited perfect 10 model who also cage fights” kind of crazy. Cheers to the future.

by Zack K

What’s up lady and gentlemen, it’s episode 9 of The Smoking Tire Podcast. This episode we were fortunate to have two great guests. Factory Porsche racing driver Patrick Long stopped by briefly to talk about how he started, his involvement in Porsche’s product development and what it really takes to become a driver.

Patrick could only hang out for a little bit, because he has big, fancy meetings with fancy people. So we also had my friend Bryant Kreaden stop by. He’s been surrounded by cars and racing all his life, managing the Ferrari of Beverly Hills dealership for 12 years and now at Lamborghini/Aston Martin Beverly Hills. He’s helped find, pick, and buy cars for countless high-profile clients, earning him the nickname “the car shrink.” Fans had a lot of questions for him, as did we. He tells some great stories about auctions, people buying Gallardos on 5 lines of credit, and how it felt when a professional racer told him, “Maybe you should go drive a taxi.” instead of racing karts. Jump and listen.

iTunes: http://www.itunes.com/podcast?id=496797178

RSS: http://www.hayesdata.com/download/the_smoking_tire/The-Smoking-Tire.xml

by Zack K

Last week on TUNED, we took you to a runway shootout packed with crazy cars possessing 400-1000HP. The fastest car that day was a Nissan GTR, packing Switzer‘s 950HP E85 burning “E900 Package” under the hood. (Sorry for all the numbers. Use your TST decoder ring if you need help.) After Matt saw it win, he wanted to drive it, and the owner was more than happy to oblige. So this week on tuned, Matt grabbed a few jugs of E85, headed to the canyons and got behind the wheel of a 950HP GTR. Is it fast? Sweet mother, yes, it’s fast. Because YouTube embed codes and WordPress are having a an apparent marital dispute, you have to click here to watch.

E900 GTR on TUNED

Source: DRIVE Network

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by Zack K

I should have known this video was better than your average event coverage when its title says “(please watch in full HD)“. The people that made it, Track Hos, demand fair judgement of their work, and their work is absolutely good enough to wait that extra 28 seconds for it to buffer. What they filmed was an runway speed event full of exotic cars for charity, with the tropical Philippine landscape as the backdrop. Not too shabby. Jump to watch. 

In 2011 the Philippines were hit by a massive storm, Typhoon Sendong. It caused a lot of destruction, and as always, the hat started to go around for Red Cross donations. Track Hos (which clearly means something different than it does here, We use it to describe a specific species of female who looks for sugar daddies at race tracks. Example: promising to fuck Ja Rule if he won in FF.), decided to hold their own fundraiser, and after watching this I will never understand why people usually hold fundraisers in art galleries with a bunch of cheese, shitty wine, and some horse shit presentation. Sorry Salvation Army, I’m giving to charity by drifting around cones on a tropical runway, but nice bell.

Track Hos got all their super car owning friends to come to an airport to enjoy a day of driving as fast as they damn well please, with all the money going to Red Cross. First, I didn’t know there were super cars in the Philipines, but apparently there’s dozens. Second, when they decided to film this thing, they were not fucking around. This looks like a real-life promo for Gran Turismo 6. It’s a good video with awesome cars, amazing scenery and sick graphics. (Normally I hate graphics, but what they do with them here is awesome). This event looked like more fun than our runway events. Plus, the track is surrounded by grass (not a brown desert specked with meth houses). And all the money went to charity. Money well spent, top to bottom.

Source: Track Hos

by Zack K

So here’s something awesome: An F1 nose that sucks air in a hole at the front, sends it through a series of tubes (like the Internet), and directs it out small spouts on top of the wing, pushing the car down. It’s like those jets on the space shuttle that blast air to turn it. (If those don’t exist, blame the movie Apollo 13.) It’s called the “W-Duct” after the shape of the wing (a W) and it’s air ducts. It was built by a Spanish company for the Mercedes AMG Petronas car, and I think it’s pretty damn cool. I’d like to see what would happen if you filled the spouts with BBs…Jump and check out the video explaining how it works.

This article is from CarandDrivertheF1.com. Unfortunately the article it’s in Spanish. I took 3 years of Spanish in high school and actually did pretty well. Then I went to school at CU in Boulder, which had fewer Spanish speakers than a Whole Foods. I never spoke Spanish, drank my weight in Keystone Light, and subsequently forgot everything. Now I suck at Spanish. Therefore, I was not able to translate this Spanish engineering article into English. I apologize. I doubt I could even translate it from engineering English to English.

Luckily they made a video, for people like me who can’t get enough of that “shiny colors that move” shit. The video is 8 minutes long and explains it perfectly, with really good renderings and English subtitles. You think those subtitles are because it has a voice-over in Spanish, aren’t you? Nope. The audio is music. For the first 5 minutes it’s soft, obviously to lull the AMG execs into a place of impressionable relaxation. (This method has also had some success on the fairer sex, using candles and massage oil.) Then at 5.5 minutes, it switches to fast techno. I have no idea why. I guess to get ze engineers amped? “Hey! Muchacho! You see it?….you feel it?….we’re going to shoot the air up and via so mucho rapido!”  I just wish I was there to see a bunch of Spaniards give a thoughtful description of their technology, and then throw a video rave, in Germany.

The cliffs notes: a hole in the center of the nose takes air in and directs it depending on the angle of the car in relation to the air. If the car is going straight, the air is pulled straight back. When you turn left or right, the air enters the nose at an angle. It goes through the tubes to the wing on the inside of the corner. It comes out the top, pushing that side of the car down. Tire press down, car have more grip, go faster, win-win, yay-yay, guden siesta!

The main video is below, with a short version below it that only shows the car in motion, without the technical diagrams.Lazy.

Main video:

For those with short attention spans, here’s the 2minute version that shows only the “super awesome race car!” but doesn’t explain the whole system.

Article/main video source: CardandDrivertheF1

Short video: mathieus7118

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A few weeks ago I was provided the chance to try out BF Goodrich’s new tire, the G-Force Sport Comp 2, at California Speedway, back to back against the competition. It was a fun, educational event, that, most importantly, showcased to members of the media that BF Goodrich had, indeed built a good tire. I’m not sure if it was because I have a rather large social media following, or because I got fastest lap during that event, but BF Goodrich (actually, their “creative agency”) decided I should get an exclusive (25 people total) invite to participate in another media event for the tire; an event with the cringe-worthy title of ,”Awesomecross.” Names aside, I’m a fan of race tracks and autocross, especially if it’s on someone else’s tires, mounted on to someone else’s car, so I accepted their invite, which came in the form of a laser-etched slick tire, and showed up at El Toro Marine Base, home of Top Gear USA’s test track, promptly at 6:45 PM. Why so late in the day, you may ask? Because “Awesomecross,” apparently, is like autocross, except it’s run at night. Hit the jump to see how it went.

Full Disclosure: BF Goodrich wanted me to attend “Awesomecross” so bad, they offered me a free

set of BF Goodrich G.Force Sport Comp2 Tires just to show up. I turned them down, because 1) They 

don’t fit my car, and 2) I already won a set, at the last event. And because of, you know, ethics or whatever. I 

did however, eat a waffle from their craft services table and it was delicious. 

Almost immediately, I knew it wasn’t going to go well. You see, I’ve suffered through enough reality television in my short career to know a reality show when I see one, and this was feeling like a reality show from the second I arrived. I dropped off my tire at registration, and, after being reminded to be on time twice by phone, proceeded to stand there for a full hour waiting for anything to happen. Anyone who’s ever been on the set of a TV show of any kind is more than familliar with the expression “Hurry up and wait.” I was getting annoyed. Fortunately, I was in good company. Others waiting with me included HellforLeather.com’s Wes Siler and Michael “Skiny” Power, and MissMotormouth herself, Michelle Naranjo. There were also people from the SRT8 forum and Camaro5 forum in attendance.

A black Sprinter van rolls up, with its windows covered in blackout curtains. One more driver steps out of the back. He’s way too nicely dressed to be a journalist or forum member, and too pretty. He says he got lost and parked on the other side of the event (impossible)  and got a ride back to the appropriate area. All seven of us are asked to get in the van and taken to the warehouse where Ken Block did some donuts in Gymkhana 1. We aren’t let in. Instead, we’re put in a tent out back and given “driver evaluation forms.” We start filling out random questions about cars and one at a time are taken in the back of the tent to test our “capacity for G-force.” The advanced bit of technology used to test it? A carnival gyroscope ride (painted metallic green) with an Android device duct taped to it. There’s a “doctor,” who’s just as bad an actor as Mr. Too Pretty To be Into Cars, who “evaluates” our capacity for G-Force and driver evaluation forms. There is no discernable evaluation method, as every person tested has exactly the same experience for exactly the same amount of time and given hugely different results. After about 5 minutes, he comes into the tent and says that “Everyone is good to go, except you!” and points at Mr. Too Pretty To Be Into Cars, who is summarily whisked out of the tent never to be seen or heard from again.

No one was buying any of it for a second, and it wasn’t just me who was annoyed. Wes, Skiny, Michelle, and myself all proceeded to openly make fun of what was going on, exclaim that we didn’t want to be on a reality show, and that we were here to drive (theoretically) and we’d like to just cut the bullshit bad acting and get on with it.

I’d now been at El Toro for 2.5 hours, hadn’t been anywhere near a car or an autocross course yet, and had been subjected to acting so comically bad, these people shouldn’t even be allowed to respond to Craigs List ads for “adult industry fluffers.”

Finally, at the beginning of the third hour (now 10 PM), we are led, cameras rolling from all angles, into the warehouse. This is the setup and starting area for the autocross course. A Camera Car Systems ML63 is ready with a remote operated crane camera, and we can see a VW GTI, Subaru STI, and Ford Mustang Boss 302 ready to roll. I assumed that we’d get a run through the course in each car in some kind of autocross competition, maybe against the other tires again? I was wrong.

All our names were brought up on a big LED board. (Of course, Mr. Too Pretty To Be Into Cars’s name was unsurprisingly absent, and there wasn’t even an empty slot for him). There were various icons (think Girl Scout patches) across the top, which, apparently would go towards our score. There was a timer, and an “activity meter.”  Before each run, they would hook up brain activity monitors inside our helmets to monitor our moods while we drove. I laughed to myself, because they would literally have real time empirical evidence of how annoyed I was by now. My name was last on the list, so at least I would get a chance to watch others run the course first, and maybe have an advantage. No one seemed to mind that I watched the real time editing from on-car cameras for 10 minutes straight.

Then the sledgehammer came down: we didn’t get to drive all three cars. We got to choose one, and would get a single run in it. By the time I got strapped into my brain-sensing helmet and into the Mustang Boss 302 (if I was only getting one run, it was going to be in the fastest car), my mood indicator was showing a frowny face. I told them I was just focused on the track. I’m not sure they bought it.

By now, you’re probably thinking, “Gee, thanks Matt. You get an invite to a night autocross event, and all you do is bitch about it. Did you have any fun?” 

Yes, I did. I had exactly 3 minutes and 50 seconds of fun, which is my total run time of 4 minutes, 20 seconds minus the 30 seconds it took me to convince “brand ambassador” Jason Childress that I was driving well within my limits and to stop telling me to slow down. In all fairness, he had no idea who I was, and some of the other drivers who had been invited were, um, bad.

During that 3 minutes and 50 seconds, I learned that night autocross is actually a pretty damn cool idea. Instead of cones, the course was laid out in highway reflectors, and is lit up by the headlights. On the outside of the big “high-G” corners were LED arrays which danced light around the car. El Toro is a dirty, dusty track and even though the Sport Comp2 is a very good tire with lots of grip, sliding the Boss through the decreasing radius corners was fun, especially when you come around a corner a little too hot only to see a 40 foot crane with a gyro head in the middle of the track, and it raises out of the way just as you pass. Driving with $250,000 camera cars is something I definitely want to keep doing in the future. And now, some POV video from my run, showing what it’s like to run night autocross at El Toro.

And then, just like that, the run was over. I asked what my time was: “Your total time was 4:20:.11, and your best lap was 41.06 seconds. Your mood is unchanged, so you must have been focused.”

“Is that good?”

“I don’t know, I don’t have any of the other contestants’ times. But you did pull more G’s through corners (1.05) and attain the highest speed (57 mph) of anyone in your group.”

And that was really it. A few days later, my lasered tire arrived again, this time etched with our “scores.” No finishing position, no time relative to any of the other drivers. I’m pretty competitive, so to be honest, not knowing my times compared to other drivers is frustrating, especially since this was a one-off, made-up course. It says I withstood 2.3G on the gyro, passed the “motion sickness” test, and shows a bunch of earned “badges” with no description whatsoever of what these random symbols actually mean. It also includes a quote from my post-run interview, which reads as follows:

“I drive test cars for a living, so grip is everything.” It’s a misquote, and should read “I test cars for a living…” I have no idea why the word “drive” is in there.

And, finally, it includes my final score, which was (seriously) – 7288073401

You, folks, know exactly as much about that number as I do.

So what we’re getting at is that this was a very strange event, half autocross and half bad reality show, and although the idea of running an autocross in someone else’s car at night seemed incredibly appealing, the actual execution wasn’t nearly as fun for a participant as if they had just cut all the bullshit and let us get runs in all three cars. If they had, this piece would have read completely differently. But like I’ve said many times about things we’ve done on The Smoking Tire, it’s all about the video. It doesn’t matter if I was having fun or not while filming, as long as the video looks good at the end. BF Goodrich has promised to send me a fully edited video (including the Pursuit shots) in a couple weeks, and we will just have to post it and evaluate together. Who knows, it’s possible that in the finished, edited video the scores are compared across the board and we will know how I did. Until then, I’m in autocross limbo.

This may sound a whole lot like me being an ungrateful dick, but what I’m really trying to say is that an event like this had tons of unrealized potential, at least from the point of view of the participant. I know that getting a track to let you run at night will come with lots of limitations in terms of safety and time, and even getting them to agree to it at all is an accomplishment, but this was an example of how not to run a car event. Car guys (and girls) don’t want a reality show; they don’t want drama and secrecy. They want seat time. I want seat time. At least I was fortunate enough to attend the actual tire launch, so I know that the tires themselves are very good. But to give a random person from a random forum 5 minutes in a car and then ask them to form an actual opinion about the tires seems counterproductive, because they have zero frame of reference. And if their experience at the event wasn’t very good, they probably won’t say nice things about the tires, even if they do get a free set for participating.