by Zack Klapman
This bike is silly. Jump for my reasons why the company that made it- BMC – will never invite me on a press event. (more…)
Special Edition Uselessness: Lamborghini Bicycle
Monday, April 23rd, 2012(Video) Guts: Removing an Engine w/ Reverse
Thursday, April 12th, 2012
by Zack Klapman
Normally, engine removal is a slow, delicate process. Up .1″, stop! Back .5″, stop! Repeat. I have taken an engine out once. Unsurprisingly, I used a Cherry Picker. Surprisingly, the weight limit for it was 700lbs, and my 1967 Pontiac 400 weighed about 698lbs. A gentle swing would cause the rear wheels of the picker to lift off the ground. At the time, I thought that was interesting, so I did it more than once. I was 17, and clearly, very stupid.
This is nothing like that. This is engine removal for the sake of boredom, with a car that matters less than the educational system you left at age 12. It went like this: Put car near tree. Attach chain to tree. Attach chain to engine. Start car. Select reverse. Hope chain doesn’t snap, fly through the windshield and kill you. WOT throttle, in reverse, see what happens. Jump to see what happens.
If Your Car is Loud, Be Respectful, or I Will Cut You
Thursday, April 12th, 2012
by Zack Klapman
If you drive a loud car, be respectful to your neighbors. And if you’re a neighbor, don’t leave fingerprints or DNA on your threatening note.
For Sale: World’s Largest Viagra Pill
Wednesday, April 4th, 2012
by Zack K
Here’s something useless to buy; a Ford F-650 SEMA truck. Did I mention it has Lambo doors? (more…)
Saturday TV
Saturday, March 31st, 2012
by Zack Klapman
Saturday. National lazy -AKA “hangover”- day. You don’t want to think, you may have done that all week at work. Your eyes may have difficulty focusing on small words, understanding subtlety, context, sarcasm, or call-backs to previous paragraphs. No worries. We got you. We have 3 short videos that are entertaining and (slightly) educational. There’s vintage Senna footage, some F1 science, and famous drivers acting like children.
TV: books for people who can’t read. (more…)
The Solution to Distracted Driving
Thursday, March 29th, 2012
by Zack K
There’s a lot of truth to this. This was designed by Reddit-er, TurretOpera. Someone at his company asked if he would put a “Don’t text and drive” sticker on his car to support of a local hospital’s campaign. He thought of a better slogan.
Watch: Girl Doesn’t Understand What MPH Means
Sunday, March 18th, 2012
by Zack K
Oh boy do we have a good one. This guy asks his wife, “How long does it take to go 80 miles, if you’re going 80 miles per hour?” Watch and enjoy, while I send this video to scientists researching “the blonde effect.” I just hope she has round-the-clock care, because she clearly can’t be outside unsupervised. Comments were disabled by the OP, because he doesn’t want his wife reading what an idiot she is. In a related story, there’s a sale on doormats this weekend at Crate & Barrel. (more…)
Bring back the speed limit honor system
Friday, March 16th, 2012
by Zack K
This is a speed limit sign from around 1915. I think they’re onto something. Or, were onto something, before they, you know, died. Not from speeding, but because that was 100 years ago. But I think we need to bring back this honor system. If it’s working for drugs in Portugal, why not speeding here? Oh, because we have the texting, and distractions, and a DMV system as difficult to pass as doing laps in a kiddy pool. And the slow people. And the pscyhos. And the stupid people…damnit.
Source: Reddit
What’s Wrong with this Picture?
Monday, February 6th, 2012
The Only 8c I Hate
Monday, January 30th, 2012
by Zack K
Sacrilege! What the hell was this person thinking?! This is like forcibly giving Katy Perry the Mike Tyson face tattoo. If this is some rich guy’s $250,000 joke, I’m going to kick him in his faberge eggs. Despite its physical handicaps on the road, the Alfa 8c is in my top 5 favorite cars of all time. I love it. I think it’s the best-looking car built in decades;better looking than any woman I will ever marry. It also sounds perfect, has an amazing interior and it’s fast enough in a straight line to keep me entertained. To quote the great poet Seth McFarlane, “I hope you fornicate yourself with an iron stick.” More shouting after the jump. (more…)
